Chapter 44
FORTY-FOUR
D
riving toward Willow’s neighborhood, Tripp cursed mentally when her voicemail picked up before the call even started ringing. He decided to leave a message, hoping she would listen to it once she calmed down.
“Willow, I know you’re upset with me. You have every right to be, but please just let me know you’re safe. I’ll tell you everything, I swear. Just answer me, please.”
He ended the call, feeling sick to his stomach at the way she’d found out. That she’d taken off before he could explain and no one knew where she was, especially when there was still a potential threat hanging over her head.
“Goddamn it, Earl.” If he’d just kept his fucking mouth shut and his fucking nose out of Tripp and Willow’s business, none of this would have happened. He’d been about to tell her on his own and would at least have had control over that part of it.
She still would have been shocked. Hurt. Devastated. But she would finally have known the truth, and there wouldn’t have been a public confrontation. And at least she would have heard it from him.
He shook his head at himself. This was his own fucking fault. No one else’s. He was the one who’d gotten shitfaced at the bar that night when he’d first returned to the island and spilled his guilty guts to Earl before going into treatment.
He’d been so drunk he still only remembered bits of it. But he would never forget Earl’s reaction when he’d finished. The cold fury in the other man’s eyes before he’d gotten up, walked out, and left Tripp sitting there alone in his misery. Earl had been trying to protect her tonight.
Willow’s car was gone when he got to her house. There were no lights on inside, and he didn’t hear any barking. She must have taken the dog with her.
Heart sinking, he called his dad. “Is Willow there?”
“No, haven’t seen her since I left her place.”
He dragged a hand through his hair, trying to think of other places she might have gone. Would she have wanted to get away from him so badly she might have tried to get the last ferry off the island? “Just let me know if she shows up, okay?”
“Something wrong?”
“Yeah. Earl told her I’m responsible for her brother’s death, and she took off before I could explain everything.” He was desperate to find her. Or at least to hear her voice, to know she was physically okay and that there might still be a chance for them to work through this mess.
He would beg her for the chance to be heard if that’s what it took.
“Ah, shit,” his dad said quietly.
Yeah, that pretty much summed it up. “I’m at her place but she’s not here. And she’s not answering her phone. At least not for me.”
“I’ll call her, see if she answers.”
“She won’t.” Right now she wouldn’t want to talk to anyone associated with him. And he didn’t blame her. “I’m gonna talk to Mae, see if she has any ideas.”
“Good idea. I’ll try Willow anyway, and let you know if I hear anything. But you need to find her, Tripp, she might be in danger if anyone’s—”
“I know.” It was killing him. He’d never forgive himself if anything happened to her because he hadn’t had the guts to come clean when he should have. “I will.” He had to make sure she was okay. Then fix this, by any means necessary.
He ended the call and drove the short distance to Mae’s house. She came out the front door when he reached her front garden gate.
“I haven’t heard anything from her since she hung up on me,” Mae said without mincing words. “I don’t know where she is.”
“Think she might have taken the ferry?”
“It’s possible.”
“I’m gonna go look for her anyway.”
“Where? It’ll be getting dark soon.”
“I know. Call me if you see or hear from her.”
“Of course. Please let me know she’s okay when you find her.”
“I will.” But Willow wasn’t okay. How could she be after tonight?
He drove back to the main road, trying to figure out where she might have gone. And made a gut decision to try Shipwreck Cove, because she liked to go there and decompress.
She might hate him now, but he was still going to protect her. First he had to find her, and then he would tell her everything. If she was willing to listen. And if she cut him out of her life after that...
As long as she was safe, he would just have to live with the consequences of his actions.
“No!” Bronwyn said in horror over the phone after Willow blurted out everything that had happened between her and Tripp over the past two days.
“Yep.” Reception was spotty out here. Their call had already dropped twice in the past few minutes, so she’d spewed everything out as fast as possible. She was slightly out of breath.
“Do you think it’s true?”
She trudged through the woods, letting Rufus have the full length of his leash. They’d been walking for about twenty minutes, and she still hadn’t calmed down, her mind going round and round in endless, chaotic circles. “Yes. The guilt was written all over his face.”
Remembering his stricken expression after Earl had dropped the bomb, she wanted to cry again. This sucked.
Part of her still didn’t want to believe it. She’d cooled off enough to admit that Tripp wouldn’t have let her brother die without good reason. But it hurt and infuriated her that he would hide the truth from her this whole time while entering into a relationship with her.
Whatever had happened, he should have been honest with her from the start. “How could he not have told me? How could he have lied all this time, especially given what was happening between us?”
Now everything they’d built together was ruined because it was built on a lie.
“I don’t know. He definitely should have told you before things got physical. I’m so sorry, Will. I feel so bad for you.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Thanks. The worst part is, if Earl hadn’t said anything, I might never have known.
” She would have carried on with Tripp, giving him more and more of herself while staying totally ignorant of what had happened.
How could he have done this to them? He must have known the truth would come out at some point.
Bronwyn made a sympathetic sound. “It’s awful. Are you going to hear him out at least? I mean, once you’re ready, so you know what really happened. Maybe he couldn’t tell you for security reasons.”
“He was working for a private company, not the military. But yeah, at some point I want to talk to him face to face. Only because I want to know the truth. Assuming he’ll tell me the truth.
” She couldn’t leave it like this now. She had to know, no matter how much it hurt.
And she deserved the chance to confront him in person.
“I get it. But, Will...”
She frowned at the way Bronwyn hesitated. “What?”
“You love him, right?”
She hitched in a breath, her eyes stinging.
“I want to punch him in the face.” His beautiful, battle-scarred face that would haunt her for the rest of her life.
“Shake him until his teeth rattle and scream at him for doing this to me.” To them.
“Letting me fall completely in love with him and then not telling me he’s the reason Peyton died. ”
“I understand. I kind of want to punch him too. Right in the nasal bones.”
She half-smiled at her friend’s attempt at humor. “You’re such a nerd.”
“I know.” Bronwyn sighed. “I dunno, Will. He must’ve known this would come out eventually. Maybe there’s a good explanation for what happened. Or...”
“Or what?”
“Maybe it was out of his control.”
Now that she’d cooled off a bit, Willow could admit it was possible. “Maybe. But no matter what really happened, I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for not telling me.”
Bronwyn made a sympathetic sound. “I understand that. But I also understand why he would want to protect you from more pain.”
Willow scowled, a little stung. “You’re supposed to be taking my side here, Bron.”
“I know, but the scientist in me has to see both sides.” She paused a moment. “Boy, makes a lot of sense now why he wound up in treatment though, doesn’t it? I can’t imagine the guilt he’s been carrying.”
“Yeah,” Willow said quietly, a new ache blooming inside her chest. She was heartbroken and furious at him, but now she couldn’t help hurting for him too.
She thought of what Mae had said to her on the phone earlier.
Imagined Tripp that terrible day in Syria, wounded and in pain, fighting for his own life while trying to protect his men under enemy fire.
The mental and emotional suffering he’d endured while undergoing his own recovery.
His deepest scars weren’t the ones he carried on his skin.
She blew out a breath, her feelings all over the place. This whole situation was beyond shitty. At least talking to Bronwyn had helped a little. “Thanks for letting me vent. I’ve calmed down now.” Mostly. “I’ll talk to him after I get home. Maybe not tonight, but soon.” Once she felt strong enough.
“Okay, good. What are you going to do in the meantime?”
“Get myself together until I feel ready to confront him. There will definitely be wine and chocolate involved.”
“Fair. And you know I love both of those, almost as much as I love you. Want me to come over for a few days? I could...ferry...day.”
“You’re cutting out.” She plugged a finger into her other ear. “Can you hear me?”
“...I...now.”
“I didn’t catch that. And while I appreciate the offer, I’d be the worst company ever right now—” She stopped when the call dropped suddenly. Checking her phone, she saw she had zero bars.
“Just perfect,” she muttered, then stopped and closed her eyes to take several slow, deep breaths.
She needed to get her shit together. Hard as this was, she was going to have to face the truth sooner or later.
Opening her eyes, she looked around. Rufus was snuffling at something on the ground six feet away.
She felt safer out here with him than she would have alone, with his keen senses of smell and hearing and natural defensiveness. Thankfully, he didn’t start digging at the spot he’d found or do anything else that might indicate he’d located another cache site.
Or more human remains.
She paused to let the peacefulness of the forest wash over her with its healing energy, thinking of her brother. Whatever had happened to him, she knew in her bones that Tripp would never willingly be the cause of his death.
“What happened out there, Peyton?” she whispered. Was she strong enough to know the truth?
The late afternoon light had turned a deep gold, slanting through the towering cedars and firs, casting long shadows that stretched along the forest floor. She only had another hour or so before it began to get dark. By then she needed to be on the road.
“Okay, Rufus, time to head back.” She wouldn’t be at all surprised if Tripp was waiting for her when she got home. If so, she’d make the call then, whether she was ready to face what he had to say or not.
She led Rufus back to the main trail and started the trek back to the tiny parking area overlooking the path down to the beach near Shipwreck Cove. Birdsong echoed around her, the loamy, spicy scent of the woods filling the air.
It didn’t soothe her. As she walked, the heaviness in her chest increased. A deep ache, and an empty, terrifying loneliness at the thought of cutting Tripp out of her life.
If things ended—and at this point she didn’t see how their relationship could survive—she would grieve the loss for a long time. And this island was small. The thought of living in continual dread of running into him in town made her want to go home, pull the covers over her head, and stay there.
She looked up at a faint, high-pitched buzzing coming from overhead. Didn’t see anything, but as it grew louder, she recognized it was a drone.
A chill of foreboding swept through her. She hadn’t seen a single other person out here this whole time, had thought she and Rufus were entirely alone. That drone sounded like it was directly overhead.