12. Madelyn
“I think I need to find a job. Clothes are ridiculously expensive these days, and my parents barely give me any money,” Kaitlin murmurs.
I glance at her over the top of my textbook, raising an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you be studying? Are you seriously online shopping right now?”
Our professor announced on Monday that we have an exam this Friday and I hadn’t ever cracked open my notes until now.
Ever since Miles dropped me off Monday morning, I haven’t received any other weird messages from whoever this unknown person is, but I keep getting the feeling that I’m being watched, which leaves me on edge.
“Shhh!” I look over at the guy sitting at the table behind me and notice the annoyed look he’s giving me. I realize that we’re sitting inside a library, but he doesn’t have to be so rude.
I give him a kind smile, shrugging my shoulders and whisper, “Sorry!” trying to kill him with kindness. The guy just rolls his eyes at me and continues reading.
Kaitlin giggles quietly and shuts her laptop in front of her.
“I already studied for the test yesterday. I just figured you probably didn’t want to go to the library alone after all those messages you got from your stalker.”
I haven’t told Kaitlin about the other messages I received when I was with Miles at his apartment. It’s bad enough that Miles saw the message about my mom. I don’t need Kaitlin knowing about it too.
“I don’t have a stalker. It’s just…I don’t know.” Kaitlin gives me a knowing smile, and I cringe a little. “Okay, fine, I have a stalker. Fuck, I just don’t want to call him that. It makes it too real.”
“It is real, babe. And you need to treat it as such. It’s the people who don’t that get murdered and I don’t want to see you on the news.” she states a little too loudly, and the guy sitting at the table behind me shushes us again.
“Oh, fuck off, dude. If you don’t like it, go read somewhere else.”
The guy scoffs, slams his book shut, and pushes out of his chair.
He walks past us, giving Kaitlin a look of disgust, but she just smiles at him as he walks by.
I try to hold it in, but as soon as Kaitlin looks back at me, we both start laughing, holding our hands over our mouths as we try to keep quiet.
“You’re going to get us kicked out!” I giggle, and she just shrugs her shoulders.
“Fuck it. If we get kicked out, we get kicked out. It’s not like they can ban us from the campus library. We’re students, where else are we supposed to study?”
I don’t know how much of that is true. Even if we’re students, I’m sure if you cause enough trouble, they can ban you from anywhere on campus.
Shaking my head, I try to focus on my notes again, but it lasts all of five seconds.
“So,” Kaitlin says, lowering her voice, “have you gotten any more messages from your stalker?”
I glance up at her and see her staring right at me before I drop my eyes back to my paper, slipping my confident mask on before I look back up at her.
“No, nothing yet.” I shrug like it doesn’t bother me. “Maybe he won’t send anymore. It was probably just someone being stupid and trying to scare us at the party.”
Kaitlin studies me for a moment before nodding. “Right, yeah, I don’t know if I believe that. Those messages seemed serious. Have you gone to the police?”
I stiffen, not wanting to answer her question and lose all train of thought. I open my mouth, scrambling for an answer, but before I can say a word, the guy who was sitting behind us walks back over to us with the librarian and we both look up at them.
“Hello ladies, this gentleman here says that he asked you multiple times to be quiet, and that you yelled at him. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to ask you to leave at this time. You are welcome to come back tomorrow.”
Is she fucking serious? I look over at the guy and he’s just smirking at me, a little too proud of himself for getting us kicked out. What a fucking doo-doo head.
“You’ve got to be butt fucking me. You told on us? What are you, ten?!” Kaitlin’s voice echoes through the library. The librarian gasps, clapping a hand over her mouth as every head in the room turns to stare. Hell, even I'm stunned, but a laugh slips out before I can stop it.
The librarian’s head snaps in my direction and I immediately press my lips together, throwing my books into my bag before we really do get ourselves banned.
“Young lady,” the librarian says sharply, glaring at Kaitlin, “that kind of language will not be tolerated in this library. You need to leave immediately before I have security escort you out. You’re both very lucky I’m not banning you from the library entirely.”
Kaitlin just scoffs and rolls her eyes, slings her bag over her shoulder and takes off toward the exit.
I apologize quietly and quickly as I pass the librarian before I run to catch up to Kaitlin, who’s already at the door.
I'm expecting to find her fuming, but when she spins around to look at me, I see that she’s laughing her ass off. Okay, I love my new best friend.
“What a lame ass! I can’t believe he actually got us kicked out!” she laughs, shaking her head. “I really do need to find a job, though. Hey, do you think that coffee shop we went to down the street is hiring?”
I could use a job, too. After our last shopping spree, my bank account is looking pretty sad, and somehow coffee is twice as expensive this close to campus.
I could ask my aunt for money, but I’d rather not depend on her more than I already do.
I hate the idea of someone else paying my way when I’m perfectly capable of earning my own.
“Maybe.” I smile. “Do you think they would hire both of us?”
Kaitlin squeals, practically bouncing where she stands. “Oh my god, imagine us working together!”
I laugh, unable to deny how nice that sounds. Working at a coffee shop with your best friend while in college, could there be a better job? Unlikely.
For the first time in a long time, things almost feel normal.
As we make our way toward the coffee shop, I get that familiar feeling that I am being watched. It’s nothing new to me anymore, but it still has me on edge and constantly looking over my shoulder.
I haven’t spotted anything out of the ordinary and I probably look paranoid always looking behind me, but at least Kaitlin knows what's going on and can understand my weird behavior. I don’t miss the uneasiness on Kaitlin’s face either.
Does she feel it too? That sickening certainty of watchful eyes all over your skin, burning your flesh like acid until all that’s left is the rattling of bones and the hammering of a beating heart.
Or the unease of seeing a random man walking in our direction on the sidewalk and tensing up to try and prepare yourself for an attack the moment he walks by.
The feeling of never knowing what’s coming, because we don’t know who my stalker is.
I mean, she doesn’t. But I saw his car, and I know who’s coming for me.
Kaitlin holds the door open for me, but I hesitate, stealing one last glance over my shoulder before stepping inside the bustling coffee shop. Students weave between tables, cars roll past on the street, but nothing looks out of the ordinary.
Get it together, Madelyn. No one’s here. He’s dead.
So why does it feel like he’s still haunting me?
“Hey,” Kaitlin grabs my arm, capturing my attention. “you alright?”
She looks worried, and I feel awful for constantly making the people in my life feel this way. I need to stop letting my emotions show so easily.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I just keep getting that feeling, you know? Like someone is always watching me. I felt it the entire way here.”
I try to laugh it off, but it falls short. No matter how many times I tell myself I’m imagining things, I can still feel unseen eyes burning into me.
Kaitlin gives my arm a reassuring squeeze. “Let's just go inside. Maybe you’ll feel better once we get some caffeine in you,” she says, ushering me inside.
She’s probably right. If nothing else, an iced coffee has to be better than standing on the sidewalk waiting for my imagination to get the best of me.
The first thing I notice when we walk inside, apart from how busy the little shop is for it being the middle of the week, is that my roommate Gabby is here. She doesn’t seem like the coffee type, or the social type for the matter. What is she doing here?
I follow Kaitlin over to the front counter where she asks the barista if they’re hiring.
The girl is about our age, probably also a college student, and she’s super sweet with a glowing smile that makes you feel welcomed.
Which is nice because I feel like most people around our age are assholes.
She leaves to go get her manager and when they walk back up to the counter together, I already know I have a dumb questioning look on my face.
“Hey, sorry, I didn’t know you worked here. You’re the manager?” I ask Gabby, sounding shocked as hell and I wish I could take the words back the moment they’re out. She tilts her head to the side a little, and I’m officially intimidated.
“Is that surprising?” She doesn’t seem upset, but she also doesn’t seem too pleased by my question.
“Oh no, I just didn’t take you as the coffee type. Sorry if I offended you, I just wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
The last thing I need is for my roommate to have something against me because I asked a stupid question. She already gave me the creeps with all the gory posters.
She laughs, shaking her head. “It’s fine, you didn’t offend me. What can I do for you guys?”
“Well, we were wondering if you had any positions available. We could really use a job and we really like this place!” Kaitlin exclaims and Gabby smiles at her, giving her a once over.
Oh my god, is she checking her out?
Gabby asks us if we have any previous experience and I panic a little on the inside.
Not only do I not have any experience as a barista, but I’ve never even had a job before.
How could I when my father hovered over my every move?
But seriously, how hard could it be to make several cups of coffee throughout the day? I make my own coffee all the time.
Kaitlin pops off about her previous experience serving at a diner, and I watch as Gabby takes it all in. Not just what she’s saying, but she’s been checking her out this entire time and I’m convinced Gabby might have a thing for Kaitlin. I mean, I don’t blame her. Kaitlin is gorgeous.
Half Black, half Hawaiian, with the most luscious bleached blonde curls that bounce when she laughs, and a beaming white smile.
Her teeth aren’t perfectly straight, but it’s something that makes her smile so unique.
If she notices Gabby flirting with her, she doesn’t act on it.
She stays totally professional the entire time.
“What about you? Madelyn, right? Do you have any previous experience?”
“Um, well, no, not really. But I work hard and I pick up on things pretty fast, so I’ll be an easy trainee if you’ll give me a chance.
” I give her a sweet yet confident smile in hopes I can win her over, and all I get in return is a lift of her brow.
If I can’t get a job here, I’ll just keep trying elsewhere. It’s not a big deal.
“I don’t normally hire anyone on the spot.
Fortunately for you guys, we’re pretty short staffed right now, and I was planning on taking in applications this weekend, anyway.
Just give me your class schedules and your numbers and I’ll work you into the schedule for next week and give you guys a call. Sound good?”
Kaitlin beams in excitement and I look at her in shock, smiling at the idea that I just got my first job working with my best friend.
I’ll finally have money to buy myself anything I need without having to ask my aunt for help.
I know she doesn’t mind helping me, but I love the idea of finally having a taste of freedom and doing something on my own.
We give Gabby our numbers, thanking her for giving us both a job and ordering ourselves some drinks before we leave.
I don’t have the money to spend on coffee, but I feel weird coming in here asking for a job and leaving without buying anything.
Soon I won’t have to worry about money anymore and I smile at the thought.
I can’t believe I actually have a job now.
I pull out my phone and shoot Miles a text telling him the good news. I don’t know why I’m so eager to tell him, and I get butterflies when I see he texts me back a few seconds later.
Miles: Congrats baby! They better not steal all your time away from me.
My stomach is full of butterflies at his response.
I feel my cheeks flush at his confession of wanting to spend all his time with me, but I feel guilty when I realize how serious things are getting with Miles.
Even if I could allow myself an ounce of relief and try to have a normal life, I can’t drag him down with my past.
“Hey, I’m going to use the restroom really quickly before we leave,” I tell Kaitlin and she gives me a smile and nods her head.
I walk into the restroom and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I look nothing like I did a few months ago. My cheeks are hollowed out from eating less and my eyes have small bags under them from the lack of sleep I've been getting.
Despite all of that, I can still see the glow in my skin and the way my eyes have brightened from all the happiness I’ve experienced since spending time with Miles.
I can’t keep thinking like this. I turn the sink on and splash cold water on my face to try and relieve myself of the stress and confusion I’m feeling.
How would I even begin to explain that I murdered my father and fled the state to start a new life?
That my body and mind were a prison where he held the key.
He couldn’t possibly understand. Even if he could, would he even waste his time on someone with so much baggage?
I take a few deep breaths and collect myself before heading back out to Kaitlin.
I pause in the restroom’s doorway when I see it.
The air in my lungs leaves me and I feel my gut wrenching deeply in the pit of my stomach at the sight of the classic blue and black pinstripe Camaro sitting across the street from the coffee shop.