24. Madelyn
I don’t know how to comprehend what I just saw. I don’t want to believe it was anything bad, but it’s hard to convince myself a wad of cash being swapped with a damn pill bottle is nothing bad.
Maybe that’s not what I saw?
Who am I fucking kidding? That’s exactly what I saw.
But why? Why would Miles need to take pills?
Miles slams Chase’s car door behind him, and I quickly make my way back to the bar stool where I was sitting before.
I take another bite of the waffles Miles made for me, trying to act like my mind isn’t still racing, when I feel his hand slip around my waist. His warmth settles against me, and a moment later, his breath ghosts over my neck.
He presses soft kisses along my skin, and I turn toward him, instinctively reaching for him. His lips meet mine, and everything else slowly fades away. All the doubts, fear, and questions I don’t have answers to suddenly don’t matter anymore.
For a moment, there’s only him. I don't know how Miles does it, but somehow, he makes the chaos in my mind go quiet. Being with him feels like finding peace in the middle of a storm, and it’s a feeling I never want to lose.
I'm addicted to the way he makes me feel, like I’m safe and wanted. For once, I feel like I’m finally exactly where I’m supposed to be.
He breaks our kiss and presses a soft kiss to my forehead before smiling down at me. Then he takes the barstool beside mine. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice him adjusting his right pocket. A faint rattle catches my attention, the unmistakable sound of pills shifting against each other.
My eyes flick over to him, and for the briefest moment, we make eye contact. I quickly look back down at my waffles, forcing myself to focus on anything other than the questions flooding my mind. All those bad thoughts come rushing back so fast, and I do everything I can not to let it show.
I knew I wasn’t crazy. Maybe this really isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be. There could totally be an explanation. Right?
He could have some kind of medical condition, and Chase could have simply picked up his prescription for him. Miles has been adamant about us staying inside and keeping a low profile, so it would make sense that he’d send someone else to grab his medication instead.
But then why didn't he tell me? And why would he give Chase so much money?
“Hey, Princess. You alright?” he asks, concern immediately washing over his face.
He cares about me, I know he does. Just like I care about him. And if there was something truly wrong, he would tell me. I have to believe that. So I push the fear back down, swallowing the questions that are threatening to consume me.
I look back up at Miles and force a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. What are our plans for today?”
I watch as the worry in his expression slowly fades, replaced by the little smirk I love so much.
God, I love when he does that.
His face is unfairly perfect. I’m convinced there isn’t a single moment where he doesn’t look good. It’s almost frustrating how effortlessly beautiful he is.
My phone dings on the counter between us, and my entire body stiffens.
Miles reaches for it, glances at the screen, and then hands it back to me.
“It’s just Kaitlin. It’s okay.”
His hand rubs soothing circles along my back, and I take the phone from him.
Jesus. I can’t even get a text message without panicking. I’m so tired of living like this. I just want a normal life. I want to wake up without fear and wondering what’s waiting for me around the corner. The problem is, I don’t even know what a normal life feels like anymore.
Kaitlin: When are we going to hang out again, hoe?! You too busy sucking Miles’ dick to see me now?
Kaitlin can be a little overdramatic, but she has a point. I haven’t spent any time with her. I can’t even remember the last time we hung out, let alone talked on the phone. I’ve had so much going on, I’ve been neglecting my best friend, and that’s not fair to her.
Unfortunately, Miles doesn’t want her over here and I can’t figure out why. It could be because I told him she hates him, but I really don’t think that’s it. He knows she’s the only friend I have out here. He wouldn’t ruin that for me.
Me: I’m literally going to see you tomorrow in class AND at work. Don’t be so overdramatic!
Kaitlin: I’m not being overdramatic bitch, I’m being a concerned friend because my best friend has some crazy stalker and I haven’t seen or talked to her in days. AND she’s staying with her psychotic ass boyfriend.
I read Kaitlin’s last message, and guilt immediately settles heavy in my chest. I didn’t realize how worried I’d made her by disappearing.
She’s been nothing but kind to me since the moment we met, and all she’s ever tried to do was be there for me.
Yet somehow, I still managed to make her feel like she didn’t matter.
I hate that. I keep hurting the people who are only trying to help me.
Miles notices the shift in my expression and tilts my phone slightly toward himself to read the message. Instinctively, I try to pull it back, but the moment his eyes scan the screen, something changes. His entire demeanor shifts.
I tug gently on my phone, expecting him to let go, but he doesn’t. I’ve never seen him react like this. Not toward me.
The sudden tension between us makes my chest tighten, and a familiar feeling starts creeping in. That trapped, helpless feeling I know all too well.
What the hell was that? And why did it scare me?
I peek around the corner of the hallway when I hear them yelling. I make myself as small as I can, pressing against the wall so they don’t see me. My heart is beating so loud I’m scared they’ll hear it.
Mom is standing in the living room with her phone clutched against her chest. Dad is standing in front of her, his face red and angry.
“Give me your goddamn phone, Melinda!” he screams. “I’m not playing these games with you anymore!”
Mom shakes her head, holding onto it tighter. “No, Jeff.”
Everything happens so fast. Dad moves toward her, and Mom backs up until she hits the couch behind her. She falls down onto it, and before she can even get up, he’s on top of her, reaching for her phone.
“Jeff, stop!” Mom cries. “You’re hurting me! Get off of me!”
“Just give me your fucking phone!”
“Please, Jeff,” she begs, her voice shaking. “You’re going to wake up Maddie. Please, just stop.”
I cover my mouth with my hand so I don’t make a sound. Dad grabs her hands and pulls at her fingers until she lets go. Mom screams, and it makes my stomach twist. He snatches the phone away from her while she curls into herself, holding her hands against her chest.
Tears are running down her face. She slowly lifts one of her hands and looks at it. Her finger doesn’t look right. It’s bent in a way it’s not supposed to be, and the skin is turning a dark purple color.
Dad just stares at her. Then he sighs like she’s the one who did something wrong.
“None of this had to happen, Melinda,” he says. “You could’ve just given me your fucking phone.”
He walks away like nothing happened and I watch him grab a glass from the cabinet and pour himself some whiskey. He takes a big drink while he looks through Mom’s phone. Then he sets it on the counter and slams the bottle down on top of it.
The sound makes me jump.
The phone breaks, then the bottle. Whiskey spills everywhere, dripping down the counter and onto the floor. Dad stares at the mess, his face getting angry again.
“You fucking whore,” he says. “All of this is your fault.”
Mom is crying quietly on the couch, holding her hurt hand against her chest.
“Please, just be quiet, Jeff,” she whispers. “I’m sorry.”
Dad walks back over to her. Mom sinks farther into the couch, her eyes wide with fear. She looks so small underneath him. He looks down at her like he hates her. Then he spits in her face.
I feel my whole body freeze.
“You disgust me, Melinda,” he says. “You better clean this mess up before I get back.”
He grabs his jacket from the back of his recliner and walks toward the door. For one second, I think maybe he’s going to stop. Maybe he’ll say sorry, look at Mom and realize he hurt her.
But he doesn’t.
The door slams shut behind him, shaking the whole house. And I stay frozen in the hallway, too scared to move.
Miles grabs my shoulders, and I flinch hard, my breath catching in my throat. What the hell is he going to do to me? My entire body is shaking, and I feel like I can barely breathe.
“Maddie, baby, what’s wrong?”
His voice is laced with confusion, but all I can focus on is the raw fear that’s bubbling inside me. I hold my phone tight to my chest, staring at him. Tears begin to rim my eyes, and I can’t stop them from spilling down my cheeks.
“Why the hell did you do that? Why were you so aggressive towards me? What have I ever done to deserve that?”
I’m practically yelling at him now, my voice shaky but angry as hell. Miles stands and I immediately back away from him, terrified but so fucking furious. He looks at me like I just stabbed him in the chest.
“Baby, I would never hurt you. You have to know that. I love you.”
I shake my head, the weight of the words sinking in but only making the stinging feeling worse.
I quickly get up from my chair, my body desperate to put space between us.
I walk backwards towards the door, wanting to escape upstairs to our bedroom when my phone dings again in my hand.
I look down at it, my heart racing as I see the message is from an unknown number.
Dread creeps in as I unlock my phone and open the message.
Unknown: You can't keep hiding from me like a pathetic little child.
Ding.
It goes off again.
Unknown: I’m going to find you, Madelyn, and when I do, you'll never leave me again.
A cold numbness spreads through my veins, my blood turning to ice. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to run from Miles, to escape him, but he’s the only one who can protect me. And right now, he scares me more than anything.