26. Madelyn
This week has been the best I’ve had since moving to California.
I’ve never felt as confident as I do now—not in my entire life—and it’s a feeling I’m still learning to embrace.
Smiling comes so much easier these days, and I have no one but Miles to thank for that.
Somehow, he’s given me something I never thought I’d have.
Freedom.
Not just the freedom to leave my past behind, but the freedom to be myself without constantly looking over my shoulder.
To laugh without guilt, breathe without fear, and exist without wondering when everything is going to fall apart.
For the first time in a long time, I finally feel like I’m living instead of just surviving.
Morgan and I have gotten really close over the past week, and I didn't realize how badly I needed a friend until she came into my life. Before her, the only person I’d managed to get close to since moving to California was Kaitlin.
I hardly ever see her anymore now that I'm staying at the safe house.
The only time our paths cross is in class or during the occasional shift we work together at the coffee shop, and even then, something feels different.
She hasn’t said it outright, but I can tell she’s upset with me. I disappeared without warning, moved out of my dorm, and refused to tell her where I was staying. I understand why she’d be hurt, even if I don't have much of a choice.
While the guys head to Miles’ apartment, Morgan and I make our way back to my dorm to grab a few more of my things. We take her car since I still don’t have one of my own, despite Miles insisting I start driving one of his.
I've refused every time he’s offered.
His cars spend more time sitting in the garage than they do on the road, but that doesn’t make me feel any better about borrowing one. They’re his babies. The last thing I want is to scratch one, dent it, or total it. I’d never forgive myself. Besides, none of them really feel like me anyway.
I absolutely love Morgan’s car. I’ve never been much of a sports car person. The people who drive them always seem so full of themselves, like they have something to prove. But hers is different.
It’s sleek, black, and somehow manages to look aggressive without being obnoxious. The headlights are my favorite part. They have these sharp, angled cuts that make the front of the car look like it’s glaring at everyone else on the road.
When I asked her what it was the first time she picked me up, she smiled proudly and said, “A 2020 Nissan 370Z.”
I don’t know much about cars, but even the name sounds expensive.
“So,” Morgan says, pulling me from my thoughts, “how have things been with Miles?”
I glance over at her, surprised by the question.
“Good, actually. Really good.” I smile to myself. “Why do you ask?”
For the briefest moment, her hands tighten around the steering wheel before relaxing again. It’s subtle. So subtle I almost convince myself I imagined it.
“Oh…no reason.” She shrugs, keeping her eyes on the road. “Just curious. You know, with everything that’s been going on. The stalker and all that. I wanted to make sure you guys were okay.”
She flashes me a quick smile, and I return it, but something about her question leaves a knot in my stomach.
“Yeah, we’re okay,” I say after a moment.
“We’re not exactly getting a lot of normal couple time, which kind of sucks, but I’ve really been enjoying all the training.
” I smile, thinking about the past week.
“I love training with you too. It’s making me feel...
stronger. Not just physically. I don’t know.
” I laugh softly. “I actually feel good about myself for once.”
Morgan’s smile grows warmer.
“Yeah,” she says. “I know exactly what you mean.”
She lets out a quiet laugh before adding, “It’s amazing what lifting some weights and kicking people’s asses can do for your self-esteem.”
We both laugh and it feels like the tension from her initial question dies down a bit, although I can’t help the feeling of needing to dig deeper on that subject.
Maybe I’m being a jealous girlfriend and I need to calm the hell down, but there’s something I feel like I need to ask her and I don’t want to hold on to it.
“Can I ask you something?”
She nods her head, “Yeah girl, what’s up?”
“Have you and Miles…like have you guys ever…um?”
“What? Slept together?” she asks, and I nod my head.
“Oh god no,” she laughs, “Miles and I are nothing. He is my employer, if anything. Simply friends.”
“Oh, thank god.” I sigh in relief and laugh for being so damn ridiculous. Not every woman that is around Miles wants him. I need to stop being a crazy girlfriend and just be okay with other women simply existing around him.
“I’m sorry if that was a weird question. I don’t even know why I asked. I guess I just felt like I needed to know.”
She looks over and smiles at me. “You’re my friend now, Mads. You can ask me anything.”
We finally make it back to the college and pull into the dormitory parking lot. When we step inside my room, it’s exactly what I expected. Empty. No sign of Gabby anywhere, as per usual. She’s probably working again.
Morgan drops onto Gabby’s bed while I toss a suitcase onto mine, starting to pack up more of my things. I don’t have much, so I just fill it with what little clothes I have left here and the only other pair of shoes I own.
Zipping the suitcase shut, I drop it on the floor and lift the handle, glancing over at Morgan like I’m ready to go.
“Is that it?” she asks, shocked by the amount of personal belongings that I have.
“That’s it. I don’t really have much of anything. I practically came to this state with nothing.”
She stands up, grabs the handle of my suitcase, pulling it towards her, and opens the door to my room. “Well, let’s go then. We got things to do.”
As we make our way toward the car, I spot Kaitlin walking in our direction. The second she notices us, her face lights up and she starts waving like an absolute lunatic, which is one of the things I love about her. Without hesitation, I match her energy and wave back just as enthusiastically.
She reaches us a moment later and immediately pulls me into a tight embrace. “I’ve missed your bitch ass so much!”
I laugh because only Kaitlin would say something completely unhinged like that.
“I missed you too, crazy Kay.” I finally let go of her and glance back at Morgan, remembering I still need to introduce them.
“Morgan, this is my best friend, Kaitlin. Kaitlin, this is Morgan. She works for Miles.”
They smile at each other, and Morgan extends her hand for Kaitlin to shake. Kaitlin looks down at it like she’s unsure what to do with such a formal greeting, but thankfully, she takes it anyway. It would have been so painfully rude if she hadn’t.
“It’s nice to meet you, Kaitlin. Are you doing anything right now?”
“Not at all. Why? What are you bitches up to?”
Morgan laughs at the way Kaitlin casually throws around the word bitches, while I internally cringe at my best friend’s complete lack of a filter. Morgan doesn’t seem bothered by it at all.
“I was actually thinking about taking this one shopping with her man’s credit card. I only have a two-seater, but you’re welcome to follow behind and join us if you want.”
My man’s credit card? My eyebrows lift before I can stop them.
“Wait a minute. Why do you have Miles’ credit card?”
Kaitlin looks between the two of us, confusion immediately taking over her expression, and I already know she’s thinking the exact same thing I am. It makes me smile despite everything.
No matter what happens, she’s always in my corner. I never have to question whose side she’s on, and that’s a rare kind of comfort.
“Because he gave it to me before we left today and told me to take you on a shopping spree.”
A kaleidoscope of butterflies erupts in my stomach all over again because this man is just too much.
I can’t stop the grin that spreads across my face, and Morgan notices immediately, giving me a knowing smile in return.
He’s not perfect, and neither am I. We’ve both made mistakes, we’ve both hurt each other. But somehow, through all of it, he’s still the person who makes me feel the safest.
“Well, girl, you know I love spending a man’s money, so count me in!”
We’ve officially been to three different stores, and the trunk is now overflowing with boutique bags. There are so many that I’m not even sure we could squeeze another one back there if we tried.
We’re walking through the fourth store when it hits me that I haven’t talked to Miles once since we left.
I hope he isn’t upset about how much I’ve spent on his card. I honestly have no idea what the total is at this point, but judging by the number of bags currently sitting in my car, I feel like we’re dangerously close to the four-figure mark.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and glance at the screen, checking to see if Miles has sent me anything.
Nothing. Not a single message.
I stare at the empty screen for a moment, my thumb hovering over his name as I debate whether I should text him first. I don’t know why I’m hesitating. It’s not like we haven’t talked before. But after everything, there’s still this tiny part of me that worries I’m bothering him.
Before I can decide, Kaitlin walks over with Morgan, her brows pulling together the second she notices my expression.
“Hey, you alright?” she asks, placing a hand on my back.
“Yeah,” I say, forcing a small smile. “I just haven’t really talked to Miles all day. I wasn’t sure if I should text him or not.”
Kaitlin immediately scrunches her nose, her face twisting into the same look of disapproval she always gets whenever Miles comes up. She rolls her eyes, and even though I know she has her reasons, it still bothers me.
I know she doesn’t like him. I know she doesn’t trust him. But he’s still my boyfriend, and seeing how much she openly dislikes him hurts more than I want to admit.