28. Madelyn
Miles and I spent the rest of the night wrapped up in each other. The evening was full of touching, cuddles, kisses and so much love. After everything that happened with my stalker and Hudson getting shot, I think it’s what we both needed.
We have plans to go see Hudson later. He’s been out of surgery for the last few hours and in recovery, but we wanted to give him some time to rest.
Miles had room service delivered to both our room and Julius’ this morning.
I’ve never had the privilege of ordering room service before, and when I opened the menu and saw all the options, I immediately understood why people love it.
There were so many things I wanted to try that narrowing it down felt impossible, so naturally, I ordered a little bit of everything—waffles, sourdough toast, potatoes, bacon, a fruit parfait, and two chocolate chip cookies.
Miles had the audacity to laugh when he saw my order, acting like I somehow wouldn’t be able to finish it all. The disrespect is honestly unbelievable. He clearly doesn’t know me very well because I am more than prepared to prove him wrong.
Because he’s so cheeky, Miles ordered the exact same thing, but to tease me, he also added a side of over-easy eggs to go with his toast. We stuff our faces, both of us finishing our plates, and I can tell Miles is a little surprised I was able to finish all of my food.
Nothing makes me happier than proving a man wrong.
We hear a knock on the door, and I instantly tense up.
Because this is my life now. I’m constantly looking over my shoulder, constantly waiting for the next thing to go wrong.
A simple knock on a door or the sound of a text notification is enough to send my body into fight or flight before my brain even has time to process what’s happening.
“Hey, it’s alright. I’ll get it,” Miles says softly, giving my knee a comforting squeeze before standing up. He looks through the peephole before opening the door, and I let out a small sigh of relief when I see it’s only Julius standing on the other side.
“Good morning, Alexander. I have the car out front ready for us to go,” he announces from the doorway.
Despite Miles stepping aside, Julius doesn’t move to enter. He simply remains in the doorway, as if he’s waiting for permission even though he’s been a part of Miles’ life for years. Miles gives him the space to come in, but Julius just nods politely instead.
I return his greeting with a smile and a small wave. He’s so formal that it’s almost strange, but there’s something comforting about the distance he naturally keeps. He’s respectful without being cold, and I can appreciate that about him.
“Thank you, Julius. You ready, baby?” Miles asks, holding his hand out for me to take.
My nerves are all over the place. I know I can’t hide forever, and as angry as I am, the thought of leaving the safety of this hotel still has my entire body on edge.
This place has become a temporary escape from everything waiting outside those doors, and walking away from it feels like I’m stepping right back into the chaos.
But then I think about Hudson. He got shot protecting me.
He put himself in harm’s way because of the mess I dragged everyone into, and it would be wrong of me to stay here hiding while the person responsible continues to hurt the people around me.
I can’t let fear keep controlling my life.
So before my nerves have the chance to take over, I reach out and take Miles’ hand, and together, we walk out the door.
The drive to the hospital feels endless. Miles wanted to make sure we were as far away from the house as possible, hoping that putting enough distance between us would make it harder for anyone to follow us. After the hour-long drive, I’d like to believe he succeeded.
But who knows anymore?
I gave up believing we could actually hide from this person a long time ago. Every time I think we’ve found somewhere safe, somehow, he manages to find us. Every time I convince myself we’re finally one step ahead, he reminds me that he’s been watching from the shadows the entire time.
I can feel the last bit of fight I have left slowly slipping away.
No one should have to experience the pain of growing up with an abusive father. No one should have to feel the emptiness that comes with losing their mother. No one should have to wake up every day carrying the weight of wondering if they became the very thing they were trying to escape.
I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t ask to spend my life haunted by the possibility that I murdered my own father or to carry around the fear that my past could destroy everything I’ve built and expose the darkest parts of myself to the world.
But I didn’t have a choice. It was either me or him, and if it came down to that, it was always going to be him. I did what I had to do to survive.
Miles watches me while I stare out the window, lost somewhere between my thoughts and the passing scenery outside. I can feel his eyes on me every few moments, like he’s checking to make sure I’m still here. Like he’s silently reminding himself that I’m still sitting beside him.
It’s strange how easily I can feel his presence, even without looking at him. Like there’s some invisible thread connecting us, something neither of us can see but both of us can feel. Every shift of his attention, every small movement, it’s like my body knows before my mind does.
I close my eyes and allow myself a moment to just exist.
No fear. No running. No wondering what comes next.
Just him.
His fingers find mine, gently brushing against my skin as he traces slow circles across my palm. The touch is soft, almost grounding, and for a moment, I let myself forget everything else.
Even after his hand stills, the warmth of him remains. A quiet reminder that I’m not alone. No matter how dark everything gets, he’s still here.
I can feel the moment Miles decides to look away and when I open my eyes and glance over at him, his head is back, eyes closed, just living in this moment with me.
I love him. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that everything I’ve been through, despite how dreadfully awful it all was, was so that I can be here now with him. He is my reward for surviving through hell.
The hallway of the hospital is freezing cold and I’m mentally kicking myself for not bringing a thicker jacket.
This hospital is also so damn ginormous, I haven’t had any idea where we’ve been this entire time.
I’ve never been in a hospital so large, let alone seen one of this size, but San Francisco is much larger than my little hometown in Alabama.
We walk around so many corners until we finally find a sign labeled “ICU”.
Walking up to the large countertop in the center of the space, Miles asks for Hudson’s room.
I look around and see several glass doors with curtains that hang behind them.
Beeping machines echo from every corner and it sends a chill down to my core.
“Mommy, are you awake? It's me, Mommy. It’s Madelyn. Wake up.”
I shake my mother’s hand as she lays in the hospital bed hooked up to so many machines that beep loudly, but she doesn't move. I lift her hand and let go, watching it drop back down on the bed. Auntie Nonie pulls me away and tells me not to do that.
But why not? Why won’t she wake up? And why does her hand just fall like that? Why can’t she hold it up?
“Your mommy is sleeping, baby girl. She needs a lot of rest so she can get better and hopefully we can get her out of this mess she's found herself in…again.”
I turn away from Auntie Nonie and look at mommy. Is she sick? Her eyes are dark purple and she has a weird tube in her nose. I don’t know what mess Auntie Nonie is talking about. It doesn’t look messy in here, and it smells really clean, like cleaning stuff.
“Why does mommy look like that, Auntie Nonie?”
She doesn't answer me. I don't know why, but I just look back at mommy as she sleeps and I grab her hand again to hold it. I want mommy to get better so we can play again.
“How long will it be before mommy gets better?”
“It’ll probably be a little while, baby girl. But don’t you worry that pretty little head of yours. Your mommy is tough, just like you.”
She boops the top of my nose and I giggle.
“Do you think mommy will want to play dolly’s with me again when she wakes up?”
Auntie Nonie looks at me funny and it makes me sad. Mommy gives me that same funny look when I ask her about daddy and it always means no. I don’t like when mommy tells me no.
“How about I play dolly’s with you? Would you like that, sweetie?”
I smile up at Auntie Nonie and nod my head.
“Let's go get some ice cream and then we can play dolly’s, okay?”
“Okay, Auntie Nonie!”
“Maddie.” Miles shakes my shoulder and I look down, trying to blink away the memories of my mother. When I glance back up, I see a young blonde nurse staring at me with concern.
“Are you okay, ma’am?”
“Yeah, sorry. I'm okay.”
I grab Miles’ hand, giving him the smallest grin. He gives my hand three little squeezes before pulling me with him to one of the many glass doors. I give him a questioning look, but all he does is smile before sliding the glass door open.
Why does he always do that? It’s always three squeezes.
The thought instantly leaves my mind the moment Miles slides the curtain open and we see Hudson laying in his hospital bed.
He’s awake.
Nate is leaning up against one wall of the room with his arms crossed and Morgan sitting in a chair next to the bed, holding Hudson's hand. She quickly lets go of his hand and stands when we walk in.
What the hell? Morgan and Hudson? Are they together?
Miles either doesn’t notice it or he doesn’t care because he ignores the weird interaction completely and goes over to Hudson's hospital bed, leaning in for a hug. They stay in their embrace and I glance over at Morgan and mouth, “What was that?” She just smiles at me and shakes her head like she doesn’t want to tell me right now in front of an audience.
“I’m so fucking glad you’re okay, man.” Hudson smacks Miles’ back a few times in a brotherly way before Miles stands up and looks back at me.
Walking over to Miles’ side, he pulls me into him, and I look down at Hudson. He’s smiling up at me, and a huge wave of emotions hits me. This man risked his life for mine, and he’s just smiling at me while he lays in a hospital bed.
Before I can stop them, tears begin to flow from my eyes at an uncontrollable rate.
Hudson holds his arms open for me and I throw myself into them, crying harder than I expected to.
Hudson and I aren’t close, in fact, we hardly know each other at all.
But he put my safety before his and almost didn’t make it out alive because of it.
“Thank you!” I sob into his shoulder, “Thank you so fucking much!”
There will never be enough words, or even the right words, to express my gratitude to Hudson, Nate, and Morgan for what they do for me every single day. I will spend the rest of my life thanking Hudson for what he did.
We’ve been at the hospital for about an hour telling stories and cracking jokes with Hudson, making the nurses laugh, and thanking them for all they’ve been doing for him while he’s been healing.
It feels good being here with them all, like this is what having a real family is supposed to feel like.
And now I finally have one.
The doctor came in and told us they were moving Hudson to a private room now that he’s stable and they’ll be holding him for a week or two while he finishes his recovery.
Hudson’s been begging all of us to go get him a burger, but his doctor won’t allow it.
He said it’ll probably be a few more days until he can eat solid foods again.
After talking to the doctor outside of his room for a few minutes, Miles decided he was going to get Hudson a fruit smoothie since all he’s allowed to have are liquids.
“Did you want to go with me, or would you rather stay here with everyone?”
As much as I hate being apart from Miles, I’m itching to talk to Morgan and figure out when this new romance of hers sparked. I grab Miles by the face and give him a long, hard kiss before letting go of his face and holding his hands in mine.
“I’ll stay here and hang out with Morgan. Why don’t you take Nate with you?”
“Nah, it’s okay. I got Julius. Don’t have too much fun without me, Princess.” He leans in for another kiss and squeezes my hand with his three times.
“Why do you always do that?” I ask.
“Do what?”
“Squeeze my hand three times. Why three?”
He grins at me and kisses me softly once more.
“It’s how I say I love you without saying it. Three words, I,” he squeezes my hand once, “love,” another squeeze, “you.”
He squeezes my hand one last time, and those pesky butterflies he never fails to give me take flight once again.
I let go of his hands and grab onto his face, kissing him with every ounce of love that I have for him as I remember every time he’s ever squeezed my hand three times. He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him and kisses the tip of my nose, grinning at me.
“I’ll be right back, Princess. I love you.”
I smile back at him. “I love you too, Miles. So damn much.”