Chapter 11 Cam
CAM
The knock on the door came just after four in the afternoon, when I was on my knees in the playroom, helping Alice look for her missing dinosaur. The one she absolutely needed right that second or the world would end.
“You keep looking, while I see who’s at the door.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
Halfway up the hallway, I stopped dead in my tracks, my heart catching painfully.
Through the screen, I could see Emily, holding a Tupperware container in both hands like it might explode.
She wore jeans and a soft pink sweater, her hair pulled back in a ponytail.
Fuck, she looked heartbreakingly gorgeous, standing at my door with the afternoon sun gilding her in soft light.
For the past three days, I’d thought of little else but Emily. I’d been desperate to check in on her, to make sure she was okay. One time, I’d even got halfway to my door before I’d checked myself.
Now she was here, I had no fucking idea what to say to her. I pushed the screen door open “Hi.”
“Hi.” Her voice came out breathy, a little too high and her gaze was fixed somewhere behind my left shoulder.
“I just um… I wanted to thank you. For the other day. You really helped me and I... I mean, we live next door to each other, so it’s not like I can avoid you forever, so I thought I should…
” She trailed off, holding up the Tupperware container.
Without a word, I pushed the screen door open wider. An invitation.
She hesitated, her teeth catching her bottom lip, then she stepped inside.
I led her toward the kitchen, gesturing to the table. “Have a seat.”
She slid into one of the chairs, setting the container down carefully. Her hands immediately went to her lap, fingers lacing together. She still wasn’t looking at me.
“Coffee?”
“Oh, um yeah. Sure. Thank you.”
I grabbed two mugs from the cabinet and started the Keurig, the machine humming to life. Then I leaned back against the counter, arms folded, and just looked at her.
She was sitting perfectly still except for her right knee, which bounced slightly under the table. Her thumbnail worked at the edge of her index finger, pressing into the cuticle.
Three days ago, she’d been shaking so hard I’d felt it through my whole body.
Sobbing into my shoulder like the world was ending.
Now she was here, trying to hold herself together with a thank you and Tupperware, and I had no idea how to make this less terrible for her.
Right now, I wanted nothing more than to hug her.
“Emily—”
The sound of feet slipping and sliding down the hallway cut me off. Both girls appeared in the kitchen doorway, Alice in front with Audrey right behind her.
“Emily!” Alice launched herself forward, barely stopping before she crashed into Emily’s chair. “I didn’t know you were here!”
Buffers. That’s exactly what we needed.
“Hi, girls.” From the way the tension in Emily’s shoulders eased, it was clear she felt the same. “I just stopped by to say hi to your dad.”
“You haven’t been to our house before.” Alice stated.
“No, that’s right, I haven’t.”
“Do you want to see our playroom?” The look on Audrey’s face clearly showed she wasn’t taking no for an answer.
“Oh, uh, okay. Sure.” Yeah, there was definitely a hint of relief in her voice.
Alice grabbed Emily’s hand, tugging. “Come on, we’ll show you.”
She let the girls pull her out of her chair and down the hallway, their voices overlapping as they told her about their playroom.
As I turned back to the coffee machine, their voices drifted back to me, muffled but clear enough to make out.
“This is where we keep all our toys,” Audrey was saying. “And that’s Alice’s side and this is my side, but we share sometimes.”
“This is so cool. You guys have the best setup.”
“What kind of room do you have?” Alice asked.
“I have a little sunroom, where I paint.”
There was a beat of silence, then Audrey, “You paint?”
“I do.”
“What kinds of things do you paint?”
“Landscapes mostly.”
“What other rooms do you have?” Alice demanded.
“Well, I have a bedroom and a kitchen.”
“What kind of bed do you have?”
There was a pause, then, “Huh?” I could practically hear Emily’s confusion.
“You know, what kind of bed do you sleep in?” Audrey clarified, without really clarifying at all.
“Um, a queen bed?”
“I TOLD YOU!” Alice’s voice went up about three octaves.
“Told her what?”
“That you are a real princess!”
Emily laughed. My heart squeezed so tight I had to press my hand against it.
That laugh. Jesus Christ, that laugh.
“I hate to disappoint you, but I’m definitely not a princess.”
“You are. You just don’t know it,” Alice said very firmly
“I think I would know.”
“No, you wouldn’t,” Audrey argued. “Mia didn’t.”
“Who’s Mia?”
“She’s the princess of Genovia and she didn’t know it until she was in high school.”
“Ooooh, I see. Well, I haven’t had any visits from random grandmothers recently, so I guess that means I’m just a normal person. Sorry to disappoint.”
“You still could be.”
“Do you think so?”
I stood there with my palm flat against my sternum, listening.
The Keurig beeped. Grateful for the distraction, I grabbed both mugs, made the coffee and, taking a guess, added cream to Emily’s. Then I just stood there, holding two cups of coffee, listening to my daughters interrogate my neighbor about whether she owned a crown.
This was fine. This was completely fine. There was no reason for my chest to feel this tight. No reason for my throat to close up at the sound of Emily laughing with my girls.
Moments later, there were footsteps in the hallway, then they all came back through the kitchen door. Alice was holding Emily’s hand, Audrey trailing behind and chattering about how they’d watched Princess Diaries three times already.
I held out the mug and Emily took it, her fingers brushing mine briefly. “I took a gamble and added cream, but I can make it again if you prefer it black.”
“No, it’s fine, thank you.”
“What about sugar?”
Her eyes met mine ever so briefly and flicked away. Somehow, it felt like progress.
“I don’t have sugar.”
“Great.”
“The girls can open that now, if you want.” I nodded toward the Tupperware container still sitting on the table.
“Oh!” She set down her coffee and reached for the container, “I made these for you guys.”
The moment she popped the lid, both girls gasped. Inside were half a dozen cupcakes, decorated with butterflies in pink and purple frosting, the wings carefully piped, each one different.
“Can we have one now?” Alice was already reaching.
“You have to ask your dad.” Emily glanced at me, holding my gaze for a few beats longer this time.
“Please, Daddy?” Both girls turned to me with identical pleading looks.
“Yeah. Go ahead.”
They grabbed a cupcake each and settled into chairs, Alice getting frosting on her nose within seconds. Emily sat back down with her coffee, and I claimed the seat across from her.
“These are so pretty,” Audrey said around a mouthful of cake. “How’d you make the butterflies?”
“It’s just frosting in a piping bag. You can make all kinds of designs if you practice enough.”
“Could you teach us?”
Emily hesitated, her eyes meeting mine. The uncertainty pulled at me.
“You could, if you wanted to.”
“I would love to. As long as you don’t mind me corrupting them with sugar and food coloring.”
I held her gaze over my coffee mug. “I think we’ll survive.”
She smiled. “Okay then.”
This was good. This was better than good. She was okay. Or getting there, at least.
“Daddy, did you know Emily paints?” Alice had frosting in her hair now. I had no idea how.
“I didn’t know that.”
“I don’t know any princesses that paint,” Audrey put in, as though that was a mark against Emily’s princess status.
“The Queen of Denmark does. Well, not the current one. The former one.”
Alice’s eyes went round at Emily’s revelation. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
Audrey’s gaze was suspicious. “How do you know? Did you meet her?”
Emily laughed. “No, I watched a documentary about painting set designs and she was on it.”
The girls continued with the questions while I leaned back in my chair.
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Green. What’s yours?”
“Green as well.”
News to me, but go off, Alice.
“What about your favorite animal?”
“Ooh, Audrey, that’s a tricky one. Umm, maybe an eagle. What about you?”
“I like sloths. Daddy wants to be a sloth.”
“Does he really?”
“Yes, because they lie around doing fuck all, allll day long.”
“Audrey!”
“That’s what you said!”
“I don’t recall ever saying that, but if I did, it doesn’t mean you can. Emily will think I’m a terrible dad, saying words like that in front of you.”
“Never!” Emily’s eyes were absolutely glowing with barely contained laughter and there went my heart again, doing that slow, painful roll. “But you know what, I think that’s my cue. I’m sure you guys want to get back to your afternoon.” Emily set her mug down with a soft clink.
“Aw.” Alice’s face fell. “Do you have to?”
“I do. But thank you for showing me your playroom. It was really cool.”
The girls followed us to the front door, still chattering. I held the screen door open as she stepped through onto the porch, letting myself drag in a breath, knowing I’d be hit with her scent. No regrets.
When she turned back to say goodbye, her eyes met mine, really met them, for the first time since she’d arrived.
“I hope you’re okay.”
Her smile was soft, genuine. No performance, no deflection. Just Emily, standing on my porch, looking at me like maybe I’d done something that mattered.
“I am. Thank you.”
“Bye, Emily! I hope you come back real soon.”
“Bye, Audrey.”
She ruffled Alice’s hair, gave me one more quick glance, then she was walking down the steps, back to her place.
The girls were already racing back to the playroom, their voices fading down the hallway.
I stood there with my hand on the screen door, watching until she reached her front door and went inside.
I closed the door and headed back to the kitchen to clean up the mugs and the Tupperware container with its butterfly cupcakes. My chest still felt tight, but it was a different kind of tight now. The kind that made me think I might be in trouble.