Chapter 16 Emily
EMILY
Jack’s office door opened and Mia stepped out, her cheeks flushed pink, hair slightly mussed like she’d run her fingers through it. Or someone else had.
I kept my eyes on my computer screen, very deliberately not looking at her as she crossed to my desk. Professional. I was being so professional right now.
“Ready for that walk?” Her voice came out a little breathless.
I glanced up, finally meeting her eyes. Then my gaze dropped to her blouse. “You might want to fix your top two buttons first.”
“Oh my god.” Her hands flew to her chest, fumbling with the buttons. The flush deepened, spreading down her neck. “I am so mortified right now.”
“Don’t be. I’m happy for you.” I stood, grabbing my purse from the desk drawer. “Really. It’s sweet that you guys can’t keep your hands off each other.”
“We were just talking.”
“Uh huh. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”
She swatted my arm but she was smiling. “Shut up.”
We left the building, falling in to step together as we headed to the lake path that wound around the edge of the business park.
“Beautiful day,” Mia observed.
“Yeah. It makes me want to skip work and just lie in the sun somewhere.”
“Same.”
When we hit the gravel path that edged the lake, Mia bumped my shoulder with hers. “So, how’s the babysitting going?”
“Great! The first week has been a blast.” I smiled. “The girls are amazing. Alice is obsessed with trying new foods now. She made me promise to make sushi with her next week.”
“Sushi? She’s five.”
“I know. Apparently, she saw it on some cooking show and decided she needed to try it immediately. Audrey’s more cautious, but she’s been asking me about painting. I think I might bring over some supplies and let them try it.”
“Look at you, being all domestic and crafty.”
“It’s not domestic, it’s just babysitting.” I kept my tone light, casual. “And the pay is amazing. Like, really amazing. It’s helping so much with art classes.”
“That’s so good!”
“Yeah, I didn’t want to take that much, but he insisted. Said I was saving his life, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.” The memory of that conversation made butterflies dance in my belly. The way he’d looked at me, so grateful and earnest.
“I’m so glad.” She was quiet for a moment, then, “And Cam? How’s he doing?”
There it was. I’d been waiting for this question.
“He’s fine. Stressed about work and his mom’s recovery, I think. But handling it.”
“And you two? Any interesting developments?”
“No. Like I said, it’s just babysitting, Mia.”
“Is it though?”
I shot her a look. “Yes. What else would it be?”
“I don’t know. You tell me.” She linked her arm with mine, shooting me a sideways glance. “You really like him, don’t you?”
Fuck. I opened my mouth to deny it, to brush it off with some joke or deflection. But this was Mia. My cousin, my former roommate, my best friend. She’d see right through any denial.
“Yeah,” I admitted quietly. “I do.”
“I knew it.” Her smile was soft, understanding. “How could you not? He’s gorgeous and clearly a great dad and it sounds to me like he—”
“He doesn’t.”
“Emily—”
“Whatever you were going to say about him liking me back, he doesn’t. He’s polite. Professional. He comes home, thanks me, pays me, and that’s it.” I started walking again, needing to move. “Which is fine. It’s good, actually. Makes things less complicated.”
Mia caught up, falling back into step beside me. “But you wish it was different.”
“Doesn’t matter what I wish.”
“I don’t understand what’s going on here, honestly.”
Of course you don’t.
“You’ve only had one relationship since high school, if you could even call it a relationship. I mean, don’t get me started on that douche.”
I flinched at the memory.
“Now you’ve got this guy right under your nose, who—”
“Nothing’s going to come of it.” And ‘that douche’ was part of the reason why.
“Why not?”
“Because stuff like that doesn’t happen to people like me.”
The words slipped out before I could stop them. Too honest. Too revealing.
Mia stopped dead in her tracks. “What the fuck do you mean, people like you?”
“I just mean—” I scrambled for an explanation, something that would make sense without giving too much away.
“You know. He’s older, more established.
He’s got kids and an ex-wife and a whole life that doesn’t really have room for someone like me just fumbling through trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. ”
It was weak. So weak. And from the way Mia’s eyes narrowed, she knew it too.
“That’s not what you meant.”
“It is.”
“Emily.”
“Mia, please—”
“That is not what you meant and we both know it.” Her voice had gone sharp. Not angry, exactly. Something deeper than that. Something that made my throat tight. “What the hell kind of talk is ‘people like me’? You’re amazing. You’re smart and talented and kind and—”
“Can we just drop it?” Jesus, that sounded much harsher than I meant it to. “I said something stupid. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”
She stared at me, her jaw working. I could see the war playing out across her face. Push or let it go. Demand answers or give me space.
Finally, she sighed. “You’re really upset, so I’ll let you off.” Her eyes locked on mine, serious and searching. “But I won’t forget you said it, just so you know.”
“Noted.” I didn’t even try to hide my relief.
We started walking again, but the easy comfort from before was gone, replaced by something heavier.
I shouldn’t have let that slip out. But it was the truth, wasn’t it? Guys like Cam didn’t end up with girls like me. Girls who were broken in ways that didn’t show on the outside. And ways that did. Girls who carried secrets that would send anyone running for the fucking hills if they knew.
He was kind to me because I was helping him. Because I was good with his daughters. Because I was convenient and safe and right next door.
That was all it was. All it could ever be.
And that was fine. I’d learned a long time ago not to want things that weren’t meant for me.
“For what it’s worth,” Mia said quietly, breaking the silence, “I think you’re selling yourself short. And I think if Cam Rockford had half a brain in that gorgeous head of his, he’d see what I see when I look at you.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Mia—”
“I’m just saying.” She linked her arm through mine again, pulling me close. “You’re worth more than you think you are, Em. I wish you could see that.”
I didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer. Just let her lead me back toward the office, her words echoing in my head.
You’re worth more than you think you are.
If only that were true.