Chapter 38 Emily
EMILY
From the backseat of Jack’s car, I tried to look anywhere else as Mia reached over and squeezed Jack’s knee.
He glanced at her, that soft smile playing at his lips that he reserved just for her. Then he reached down, laced his fingers through hers and lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss there. She practically turned to goo right there in the passenger seat.
Something warm and achy spread through my chest. I was happy for her. Really, genuinely happy. But watching them like this, so easy and comfortable together, made me think of Cam. Of how complicated everything was. Of how impossible it felt to ever have what Mia had with Jack.
God, I wanted to see Cam again. Be with him again. Wanted it with an intensity that scared me a little.
But we hadn’t figured out the girls yet. Hadn’t even talked about it. I mean, it had only been a week, but once you’ve had a weekend-long sex marathon like that, it was hard not to pine for it. Sigh. I turned my attention to the window, watching Esperance roll past.
When we pulled up in front of my aunt and uncle’s, the first thing I saw was my parents’ gleaming black BMW. My stomach did a nervous little flip that left me a little breathless. Fucking great.
Mia gave me a reassuring smile as we climbed from the car. Easy for her, now, because she had Jack by her side when we walked into the lion’s den.
The backyard was already full of people. Uncle Jeremy stood at the grill, beer in one hand, spatula in the other, talking to Aunt Jackie’s parents. Various cousins were scattered around the yard.
And there, at the patio table, sat my mom and Mia’s mom, Aunt Helen.
Mia’s hand found mine and squeezed.
“We’ve got this,” she whispered.
I squeezed back.
Aunt Jackie spotted us first and came rushing over, pulling us both into hugs that smelled like sunscreen and her signature jasmine perfume.
“My girls! And Jack, welcome, welcome!” She beamed at him. “It’s so nice to see you again.”
Jack shook her hand. “Likewise.”
“Please, sit wherever you like. Dinner won’t be long.”
“Great, thanks.”
“Let’s get this over with,” Mia said in a low voice.
“Yeah.”
I steeled myself and headed toward the patio. Mom sat with perfect posture in her chair, a glass of white wine in her hand. Her gaze swept over me, taking in my sundress and sandals, and I could practically see her cataloging everything she found wanting.
“Emily.” She offered her cheek for a kiss, and I obliged, catching the familiar scent of her expensive perfume. “You look tired. Are you getting enough sleep?”
“I’m fine, Mom.”
“Mmm.” The sound was noncommittal, which somehow felt worse than an actual criticism.
My dad stood and pulled me into a loose hug, the kind that involved more air than actual contact. “Good to see you, sweetheart.”
“You too, Dad.”
He patted my shoulder once, twice, then released me and sat back down. That was about the extent of emotional expression I could expect from Anthony McIntyre, I guess.
Uncle Jeremy’s voice booming across the yard was a lifeline. He needed burger buns. “I’ll grab them,” I volunteered before he even finished the sentence. Anything to get away.
The quiet of the kitchen was a relief, but I couldn’t hide forever. I gave myself the luxury of three deep breaths before heading back outside. Mia pressed a wine glass into my hand the second I was within reach.
We settled around the long picnic table, plates piled high. That’s when it hit me. Or rather, the absence of it did.
Jack reached over and added a spoonful of potato salad to Mia’s plate, then some coleslaw. Aunt Helen watched it happen. Her mouth opened slightly, like she was about to say something, then she closed it and went back to her meal.
I blinked. Looked at Mia, who seemed focused on her food, though I caught the tiny lift at the corner of her mouth.
Had that just... not happened? Helen Harris, the woman who’d spent years shaming Mia for her weight, had just watched someone pile food onto her plate and said… nothing?
Well fuck, I guess marriage was good for Mia in more ways than one.
“So Emily,” Aunt Jackie said, pulling my attention back. “What’s new with you?”
The question was barely out of Aunt Jackie’s mouth before Mia’s gaze shot to mine and she waggled her eyebrows at me.
Heat crept up my neck. I tried not to smile too big, but my mouth had other ideas. “Oh, you know. The usual.”
I couldn’t exactly say I’d been fucking my extremely hot neighbor to the point of exhaustion and that I couldn’t wait to do it again, could I?
“Are you sure about that?” Mia sing-songed. “Nothing at all interesting happening lately?”
My mother’s eyes narrowed slightly. “What’s this about?”
“Actually,” I said quickly, shooting Mia a look that promised retribution later. “I’ve been working on my scholarship application. For the art program I told you about?”
Aunt Jackie’s face lit up. “Oh honey, that’s wonderful! When do you hear back if—”
My mother didn’t even look at me as she cut in. “Emily knows our thoughts on this, Jackie. It’s all well and good to have hobbies, but we think her time would be better spent on something sustainable.”
It was like I wasn’t even fucking there.
“She can hardly be a part-time PA to her cousin for the rest of her life, can she?”
The table went quiet. Even the crickets seemed to pause.
I stared down at my burger, that familiar shame creeping hot under my skin.
To my everlasting surprise, rescue came from Jack.
His voice was calm and firm, leaving my mom no space to argue. “Actually, the committee is very excited to see Emily’s application. They’ve received very positive feedback from the teachers at the classes she’s attending.”
The silence stretched over the table was thick and suffocating, until Mom cleared her throat.
“Oh, I see.” There was no denying the confusion in her voice. “Well, that’s something, then, I suppose.”
Phew. Jack’s eyes met mine briefly and he gave me a small nod.
“That’s wonderful, sweetheart!” Jackie jumped in quickly. “We’re all rooting for you. When do you find out?”
I swallowed hard. “Submission is just under two months away, and I’m not sure how long it takes after that to hear back.”
“Well, best of luck. I just know you’re going to knock their socks off.”
“Thanks, Aunt Jackie.”
The conversation shifted then, Uncle Jeremy launching into some story about a fishing trip, and the tension dissolved like sugar in hot tea.
Mia leaned over and pressed a kiss to Jack’s cheek, her eyes soft with affection.
I picked at my coleslaw, my emotions churning. Gratitude for Jack. Hurt from my mom’s words. That persistent, nagging voice that whispered maybe she was right. Maybe I was wasting my time. Maybe I wasn’t good enough.
I forced myself to take a bite of burger.
It tasted like ash.
I forced another bite down my throat. Around me, the family laughed and the conversation flowed, loud and vibrant. I had never felt more invisible.