Chapter 20 #2
As it was, Rick could see the woman soften.
“I heard about that. So awful. You know, so few people from her old life have come by…” Her words petered out for a moment, her expression far away.
Then she snapped back, her face hardening.
“Last year was really difficult for her, okay? Please don’t upset her. ”
“We won’t,” Nika said solemnly.
The woman sighed and stepped back, ushering them in. “Shoes off, please. Then I’ll take you back to Allison. She’s in the den.”
Allison’s house was even bigger than Rick had thought, and they followed the woman through several rooms before they reached the den.
It was a soothing, cozy kind of room—there was a large brick fireplace, with a crackling fire already going.
The walls had nicely hung photos and a few paintings of landscapes, the color in them popping against the pale, buttery yellow of the walls.
Plants were everywhere, a few of them hanging from some kind of braided rope.
Allison was curled up in the corner of the sectional, a faux fur blanket covering her lap.
There was a tablet on the glass coffee table, but she’d set it aside at some point and was reading instead.
Rick had never really liked Allison, even before she’d called Martina a bunch of names.
She was pretty, preppy, but cold, treating everyone like garbage.
She’d always reminded Rick of a snake, ready to spit venom at anyone who came too close.
Mean and so high-strung she practically vibrated when she walked.
This Allison looked different. Her red hair was down, loose around her shoulders. Her delicate features were pale but composed, and she’d lost that tense, vibrating quality. She saw them and fidgeted, her hand touching her hair, like she was seeing if she needed to fix it.
“They say they’re from your old school,” the woman said, her hands clasped in front of her. “Wanted to say hi. That okay?”
Allison smiled gently at her, and Rick thought that it might be the softest expression he’d ever seen on her face. “Yeah, it’s fine. Thanks.”
She peeked into Allison’s mug. “You want some more tea?”
For a moment, Allison perked up, hopeful. “Coffee?”
The woman grinned at her. “Nice try, but no caffeine for you. We’ve got peppermint, chamomile, or that orange one you like.”
Allison sighed, but she was smiling a little as she did it. To Rick it had the feel of an inside joke, one they’d shared several times. “Peppermint.”
The woman turned to them. “How about you two? Hot chocolate? Cider? We don’t do soda, but I have some sparkling water.”
Nika said, “We don’t want to put you to too much trouble,” right as Rick said, “Tea would be fine, if you’re already making it.”
The woman laughed, the sound infectiously joyous. “Go ahead and sit. I’ll bring you something in a minute.”
“Thank you,” Rick said, taking a seat on the part of the sectional that faced Allison. Nika perched next to him.
“Thank you, Lolani,” Allison said. Her gaze flicked over Nika and settled on Rick.
The woman waved a hand behind her head, brushing off the thanks as she left the room, plunging the room into an awkward silence.
Nika sat with her hands folded in her lap as she decided what to say. “She seems really nice.”
Allison turned her attention back to Nika, her face wan and tired. “She is. Lolani’s my stepmom—or will be soon, thank god.” She said the last bit so vehemently, Rick didn’t doubt her sincerity for a second.
“I’m glad it’s a good thing for you,” Nika said. “That’s not always the case.”
Allison guffawed. “Same old Nika, so diplomatic. Why are you even here? We’re not friends.” She examined Nika for a long moment. “I hated you, you know.”
“I know.” Nika’s brow furrowed. “I was never sure why.”
“You were everything my mom wanted, and you didn’t even have to try.” Her expression turned wry and self-mocking. “Pathetic, right?”
“That’s a lot of pressure for anyone,” Nika said carefully. “But, Allison, you know it’s not true, don’t you? I’m not perfect.”
Allison picked at her blanket with careful fingers, her silver nail polish chipped and worn.
“It wasn’t really about you, I know that now.
” Her smile was sickly. “Dad found me a good therapist, and Lolani—honestly, even if Lolani was a raging bitch, she’d still be better than my hell-spawn of a mother. ”
“What about me?” Lolani asked, stepping into the room with a tray with three mugs and a plate of cookies.
“I was just telling them what a monstrous bitch you are,” Allison said with a grin.
Lolani rolled her eyes. “Bringing in tea and cookies. What a nightmare.”
Allison snickered, her smile widening. “Evil harpy, for sure.”
Lolani set down the tray on the table. “Flattery is not going to get you out of cleaning the kitchen later like you promised.”
Allison groaned. “Eeeeeee-viiil.”
Her stepmother handed her a mug of tea and kissed her on the temple. “Spoiled princess.” But the words were fond as she ran her hand over Allison’s hair. “You good?”
“Yeah,” Allison said. “I’m good.”
“Okay.” Lolani gave her head a final pat and then straightened. “You kids need anything, just holler. I’m going to go finish my yoga set so I can get some inner peace and not strangle my clients.” She waved another quick goodbye as she glided from the room.
“I like her,” Nika said.
Rick picked up a cookie, and when he bit into it, his mouth suddenly flooded with orange and chocolate. “Holy shit.”
Allison smirked and snagged a cookie. “Good, huh? Lolani runs a catering business. These cookies come from one of her bakers. I’m obsessed.
” She bit into the cookie, her white teeth sinking into the chocolate.
She rolled her eyes and moaned. “So good.” She studied the cookie as she chewed.
“My mom would have never let me have this.”
She took another bite before setting down the cookie and sipping her tea. “What was everyone saying? At school. They must have talked.”
Rick swallowed his mouthful of cookie, seeing no reason to soft-pedal it. “All kinds of stuff. You joined a cult, had a baby, went to rehab.”
“My, my, I was a busy girl, wasn’t I?” Allison said dryly.
“I think they were supposed to be different scenarios,” Rick said. “Not all of them at once.”
Nika shifted in her seat. “Your mom said you got into college early.”
Allison snorted. “She wishes. Then she wouldn’t be so embarrassed. She acts like I dropped out and started knocking over mini-marts.” She shook her head once, sharply, like she was trying to clear it. “The cult one is new. Whose baby was I supposed to have had?”
“Bryce’s,” Rick said.
Allison rolled her eyes. “Uh, no.”
“Didn’t you date?” Nika asked.
“For a bit. He took me to homecoming last year.” She finished her cookie and wrapped her hands around the tea. “He was a lot, you know? Very Bryce-focused, if you get my drift. But he could be kind of nice? Sometimes.” She looked away, like she was trying to rein in her emotions.
Nika nudged Rick’s foot with her own, mouthing the words, “Ask her.”
Rick wasn’t entirely sure why she thought he needed to do it, but he was positive she had a reason.
“Did you guys talk at all? After, I mean. Bryce was—” Well, he was Bryce, but Rick didn’t want to talk trash on him in case they’d stayed friends.
“We’ve been trying to figure out who would want him gone. But it’s not like we really hung out.”
“Not really. Not since he ditched me for Kylie.” She laughed, but it was sharp sounding, then she shook her head.
“We still texted sometimes. Even when I was really pissed, I wouldn’t have wanted him dead.
He was kind of difficult to stay mad at.
” A faint smile touched her lips, then was gone.
“Bryce was like that. Somehow you always forgave him, even when he’d been a dick.
I mean, he dumped me, and I still can’t understand how anyone could kill him. ”
She looked away, swallowing hard. “The breakup wasn’t a big deal, anyway.”
To Rick it sounded like she was trying to convince herself, but he didn’t push it. “I’m sorry. Breakups are always shitty.”
Allison made a face, one hand going back to plucking at the blanket. “It’s fine. It’s not like we were in luuuuv, you know? I didn’t really date Bryce for Bryce. It was more like…he was the best? The most popular. Everyone liked him. And I, well…”
“You were supposed to be the best,” Nika said. “I get it.”
Allison examined her carefully for a moment. “I bet you do. Out of everyone, I think you’re the only person who will really get it.”
Allison’s lids drooped. “My mom hovered over me so she could swoop in anytime I wasn’t perfect.
She didn’t want a daughter, she wanted a doll.
” She struggled for the words. “It didn’t matter if I got an A on every test, stayed skinny, wore the right clothes, or got the right boyfriend.
” She closed her eyes. “Didn’t matter what clubs I joined… It was just never enough.”
Nika watched her for a moment. “Lots of pressure.”
“I still took it hard when we broke up,” Allison admitted, her gaze straying toward Rick for a second before glancing away. “But at the time, I took everything hard. Just.” She held up her fist, palm side up, then spread her fingers out. “Boom. All the time.”
“So what did happen?” Rick asked, curious.
Allison canted her head to the side. “Why do you want to know? I mean, why are you here?” She faced Nika.
“I was terrible to you.” She looked at Rick.
“And I said…awful things to your best friend.” She eyed them carefully, her gaze intense.
“We’re not friends. We never were. I didn’t have friends, not really. So, why are you here?”
Nika broke off a piece of cookie. “You haven’t been on social media much, have you? Do you watch the news?”
“Not really, but my dad and Lolani talk about it a little at dinner sometimes.”
“Have you heard at all about what’s going on at Meadowvale High?”
She clutched her tea with both hands. “A little.”
“The yearbook?” Nika asked.
“Poor Mr. Stephens,” Allison said. “He tried so hard to help. He was the one who suggested to my dad that I should do homeschooling. Go at my own pace.”
“Seems like a wise choice,” Nika murmured.
“I was so out of control.” Allison’s gaze was unfocused, her thoughts elsewhere, like maybe she’d forgotten they were even in the room for a moment.
“Freshman year, Mrs. Yeung made us watch these tornado videos for one of our units in science. I was always surprised how much destruction they caused. They’re just wind, really.
Insubstantial air, but you add in atmospheric instability, and you get such force. ”
She looked down at her hands. “That’s what I was.
A tornado leaving destruction in my wake.
Who knows how many people I hurt. Even Mr. Cooper—” She gave her head another sharp shake, her face tight, like she was trying not to cry.
“I got him into so much trouble. And Bryce, god, Bryce…I was so hurt and angry, but…he didn’t deserve that.
” Her eyes welled with tears, and she dashed them away with the back of her hand.
“Did you hear about Paxton?” Nika’s question this time was gentle.
Rick had to look away, his jaw working. He had been trying very hard to not think about Paxton.
“Yeah,” Allison said, her voice a mix of relief and guilt. “He was such a shit. God, I hated that guy. I won’t pretend to like him—” She shook her head. “My dad didn’t tell me much. Was it bad?”
For a moment, Rick lost sight of the room, with its fireplace, plants, and steaming mugs.
The orange and chocolate of the cookies, the grassy taste of the tea, all of it became a faint memory.
He was surrounded by cold white tile, the drip, drip, drip in his ears, the metallic smell of blood sharp in his nose.
He blinked, and he was back, the cookie in his hand snapped in two.
“You okay?” Allison asked.
“No,” Rick said, putting his cookie down. “Not really.”
Nika watched him, worry swimming in those big brown eyes Rick liked so much. He waited for her to say something, to tell Allison that he had been there, but she remained silent.
Rick wasn’t sure why, but he told her. “I was there.”
“What?” Allison screeched, her eyes going wide. For a second Rick thought she might reach for him, though they were too far apart, but she clutched her blanket tighter instead, her knuckles white.
“Martina and I,” Rick said. “We were there.”
Allison licked her lips. “Did you see who did it?”
Rick shook his head. “We were hiding in a stall. Didn’t—didn’t realize what was happening. I just thought…” He sucked in a breath. “I’m not sure what I thought. But not that.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “But we found him. We called the cops.”
Allison sat speechless for a long moment, then exhaled sharply.
“That’s fucked up. You talked to anyone?
” She shook her head again and sipped her tea.
“I mean it. You should talk to someone. I can recommend a good therapist. They’re not all great, but if you can find a good one, it really does help.
I saw a lot of therapists. And doctors. Psychiatrists. ” She made a face.
“You did?” Nika asked.
“Oh, didn’t I tell you? That’s why I left school.
I flipped out.” She held her fist up again, splaying out her fingers.
“Boom.” She took another sip of tea. “The pressure, never being good enough, pills to stay skinny, stay awake, just going, going, going all the time—it felt like circles. Never getting anywhere. So many eyes on me—I couldn’t take it anymore. ”
“Oh, wow,” Nika said. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not,” Allison said. “That breakdown got me help. Got me out of my situation.” She smiled tight-lipped at the room around her. “Got me here.” She let out a slow breath. “I’m not sorry at all. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.”