Chapter 57
“Can’t Never Could.”
Michael Keane, Entity’s Hall of Heroes
Armed with her third coffee of the day, Alexys rode the elevator down to the basement. It was the lunch hour, and R&C was deserted. She felt her nerves returning as she walked the familiar hallway toward Nic’s office, his door slightly ajar. She stopped outside and took a deep breath.
Nic is fine, he’s alive, he’s sat right here in his office.
She knocked, and he welcomed her inside.
He was hunched over his computer, among the usual mess of papers, books, and folders just where she’d left him the last time she was down there. At least some things hadn’t changed.
“Hey,” she said, lingering in the doorway.
“Keane, er, Alexys.” He cleared his throat. “Please, come sit down.” Alexys set her coffee carefully on the desk and sat down across from him.
Nic looked as poorly as she felt. His eyes were a little bloodshot, and his hair was a wild frame of curls about his head. But color had returned to his skin, and the scrape just below his left eye was healing well.
He was looking at her with a tired half-smile. It tugged up the right corner of his mouth, but not enough to make his eyes spark the way she knew it could.
Suddenly, she felt incredibly awkward. How did you start a conversation with someone you’d shared a near-death experience with, spent multiple nights with, and had an increasing affection for? She looked down at her hands.
When had she lost her ability to talk with the man?
Their arguments and banter were second nature, and she couldn’t remember the last time they’d sat in an uncomfortable silence for longer than a few moments.
Their night together at his house, and the day after, had been an exhausted blur that her mind was only just catching up with.
Sitting before him now, she felt her inner defenses breaking down, a floodgate crashing open and pouring all her feelings for him out into the open.
Feelings she hadn’t been prepared to feel, in full, while sitting across from him.
The only topics her scrambled brain could think of were kissing Nic—the desperation, the hunger in it, but did he even remember it?—and Nic’s bleeding body cradled in her lap, her deal with the devil, and the world’s worst promotion sending her back to her very own personal hell.
None of those things made decent lunchtime conversation.
Nic cleared his throat and asked, “So, how are you?”
“Surprisingly well.” Alexys smiled, looking up to meet his intense gaze. “I’ve been sleeping too, which is …” Her voice trailed off before she finished, “Unlike me.”
“That’s great, I’m really happy to hear it.” He frowned and glanced at his computer screen. “It feels strange to be back in the office after everything,” he added.
“It’s kind of surreal.”
He nodded, and his gaze dropped to the coffee cup clutched in his hands. He stared down at the dark liquid like it might hold the answers to all of life’s mysteries.
She wanted those eyes on her instead.
“Have you had a debriefing yet?” Alexys shook her head. “Does your department even have debriefings?”
Nic winced and shrugged sheepishly. “I didn’t expect to, but yes, I did. I hadn’t considered the consequences of inserting myself in your case without permission or formal documentation to hunt down a possibly extinct creature.”
She gaped at him. Her words sputtered past her lips as they caught on a laugh. “Did you think they just wouldn’t care? Or that they wouldn’t find out?”
When he winced again, she realized that he, in fact, had. She bit back a laugh. Nic Dyre, one of Entity’s greatest minds, hadn’t thought ahead.
Incredible.
“In my defense,” he said, “they really should be thanking me for being so helpful on that case.”
She bit her lip. “Oh, yeah. Of course. Don’t tell me they aren’t giving you a performance bonus for breaking company policy?”
Nic’s glare held no real heat, and she could see the smile fighting at the corners of his mouth.
“No, they’ve done quite the opposite. I’ve been written up and threatened with disciplinary action if I don’t behave.”
“You? Behave? I’ll believe it when I see it.”
The tension in her shoulders eased, and the familiar comfort between them settled in.
It was still such a relief to see him sitting before her, clever retort at the ready and a sly grin.
It nearly made it easy to forget the images of cradling Nic’s head in her lap, of Agnes stabbing him, of the life leaving him while …
“I’m glad you’re here,” she said without really meaning to.
Nic reached across the desk and grasped her hand. “I’m glad you’re here, too.”
Alexys looked down at their joined hands and felt the same warmth flicker up her arm.
She marveled at the size difference, lacing her fingers through his and giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
Nic’s thumb stroked over the back of her knuckles.
She watched his slow movements, her eyes finding the tender wound on his wrist. The marks from the rope burns were a stark contrast against his otherwise unblemished skin and crisp white sleeve.
The bruises filled her with so much guilt, even if she wasn’t the one to put them there.
Nic realized what Alexys was looking at and leaned forward to catch her chin with his other hand.
“Alexys,” he said, his gaze so intense, so full of unsaid things.
She wanted to apologize. She felt responsible for the wounds on his wrists and the ones she knew were hidden by his clothes.
She wanted to ask if he was really okay or whether he was putting on a strong front for her sake.
She wanted, desperately, to know if he remembered being stabbed, nearly dying, and if he knew about the deal she’d made to save him.
And possibly, more than anything, she wanted to know if he remembered the kiss.
“Alexys, I—”
“I got promoted,” she blurted out. Somehow, it was the only thing she could manage to say.
Nic’s brow furrowed as his gaze returned to her.
“Pardon?” He sat back, withdrawing both hands.
“Well, it’s more lateral than upward, strictly speaking, and also pretty involuntary.” She made a vague back-and-forth gesture. “So, it’s really just a mandatory job change. But hey, I’m not getting fired, so … silver lining?”
His eyes searched her face for the true feelings hiding under the bad humor. “You’re not serious.”
“I am,” she nodded. “They’re giving me Elliot’s Quadrant.”
“That’s bullshit.” He slammed his fist against the desk, startling her. “That’s utter, incomprehensible, corporate bullshit! I can’t even begin to fathom how they thought this was an acceptable course of action.”
“You don’t think I can handle it?”
“Of course I know you can handle it, but you shouldn’t have to.” He grit his teeth, a muscle in his jaw flexing. “You’re good at your job, Alexys. They’d be stupid to move you.”
“There’s no alternative, and I have to pay the bills somehow.” Alexys shrugged helplessly. “Turns out I’m half decent at squaring off with monsters.”
He looked ready to argue—he had been the one to save her from the Jackalopes, and he had, in fact, been the one to track down the Hollow Walker—but he saw the weary resignation in her eyes and sighed.
“I can’t believe this.” He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Promise me you’ll be safe.”
“I’m the most stubborn person you’ve ever met, remember?” she said. “There’s no getting rid of me.” Some of the tension between them eased, and Nic nodded more to himself than her.
“You are stubborn, yes. If anyone could stay alive out of sheer spite, it’s you.”
“Exactly.” Alexys smiled at him and reached across the desk to take hold of his hand again.
The touch brought his gaze up to hers, and allowed her to admire the brilliant gray of his eyes.
Eyes she probably wouldn’t get to see very much of now, but she refused to dwell on that.
“Plus,” she added, “I’ll be getting all my information from the world’s only walking encyclopedia. ”
“Hmm,” he mused playfully. “You will have the entire R&C team in your back pocket.” Nic’s lips tugged up into a lopsided smile. “I might even grant you special privileges and let you skip the request forms.”
Alexys feigned shock. “You would do that—you’d break your precious R&C rules—for little old me?”
He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better. The playfulness left his eyes and he pursed his lips.
“Your father would be very proud of you, Alexys.”
The words hit like a physical blow, and she blinked furiously, forcing herself to keep any tears at bay. He had no idea how much those words meant to her, and somehow, because they’d come from him, they meant so much more.
“Oh, well.” She could barely speak, and she certainly couldn’t look at him. Alexys managed to whisper, “Thank you.”
She wanted to believe it so badly. She wanted to believe that she’d done right by her dad’s legacy, by his memory. That he was looking down at all she’d done and really was proud. The little girl in her that still missed him so much, still wanted to grow up and be just like him.
“He would be,” Nic insisted. His expression was so earnest it made her heart melt.
“I know it didn’t go the way we wanted, but you did something no one else in your position could.
And you were so incredibly selfless. You put your own safety second to mine, to Elliot’s.
You survived a Haint, a witch, the Hollow Walker.
What’s not impressive about all of that? ”
“It wasn’t just me.” She tried to shrug away the compliments. “I had a lot of help.”
“All Wardens do,” Nic reminded her. “Even your father.” Alexys nodded because that’s all she could manage. “You were faced with impossible choices, and you made the best decisions you could. He’d be so proud of you.” He hesitated before adding, “I’m proud of you.”
Nic’s fingers squeezed around hers, and the touch steadied her. In that moment, tucked away in the dim basement, Alexys felt peace for the first time since finding out Elliot was missing.
She knew she had a world of chaos headed her way.
That life as a Warden would be incredibly destabilizing, that she’d have to leave her home, her family, her friends …
Nic. But she was a little bit hopeful. Once she put Elliot’s death behind her, once she got rid of Silas’s attention and dealt with Opal, then maybe her life would start to look … normal.
Nic checked his watch.
“I’m catching up with Hornsby shortly, but what do you say about a coffee at three fifteen?” Alexys smiled as she rose to her feet.
“I think I can pencil you in.”
“How kind of you.” His eyes swept over her. “And who knows, maybe I’ll even try one of those double-shot, sugar chai monstrosities you’re so fond of.”
“Hmm, I don’t know, Nic, it’s an acquired taste. I’m not sure your British palate is sophisticated enough.” She bit her cheek and turned for the door.
“Yeah, yeah,” he chuckled under his breath. “Oh, and Alexys?”
She stopped to look over her shoulder at him, unable to resist the draw of her first name in his voice. He leaned forward against his desk, chin resting on a fist.
“Yes, Nic?”
He grinned. “I look forward to talking about that kiss.”