17. Piper
17
PIPER
It’s been ten days since I saw Ant, and four since I came on my vibrator thinking about him. I still can’t seem to wipe him from my thoughts. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Maybe it’s the paranoia of expecting every shadow in the corner of my eye to be him.
Or maybe it’s the disappointment from every time I realize it isn’t.
Or maybe it’s my irritation at my disappointment.
I don’t have time to worry about this today, especially when I’m about to host what might be the most important meeting of my career.
The owners of Cryptech want to discuss sponsoring my little non-profit company.
Cryptech is the largest crypto-security company in the country, and Penpoint caught their eye. They are interested in me and my tiny four-person team. Even a small grant or sponsorship from a large company would make a huge difference for us. Cryptech is exactly the kind of partnership that could help us get to the next level.
Penpoint Assist has been advising tech companies on best usability standards for over two years now. Our main focus started with screen reading software, since then we’ve expanded our specialty to help all kinds of accessibility. It’s something I found a passion for growing up with my sister and finding so many apps she couldn’t fully access. Most are easy changes that actually make everyday tech easier for everyone to use. Lately there’s been an increased interest for tech that will improve usability for cryptids as well.
I didn’t realize why Cryptech would care about us until I started googling. The company is run by cryptids.
Magnes Loch, CEO, is a Lake Monster, a human-sized plesiosaur.
Sacha Kwatch, chief financial officer, is a Bigfoot.
Pontius Pleasant, chief technical officer, is the only one I haven’t found more information on, and the only one I am really disappointed not to have a decent photo of. He is a famously talented programmer, and a notorious recluse.
Magnes and Sacha are frequently photographed at various social events, and heavily featured on the company website. But there aren’t any pictures of Pontius. I assume he’s a cryptid too. I wonder if he has wings. I’m scanning their site for the seventeenth time when the door to our tiny office opens.
“Piper Hamilton?” Magnes Loch asks. I’m sure it’s him before the introductions even start. With pale green skin and a two-foot-long neck. He’s too tall to stand up straight in our cramped basement office. He’s wearing a dark green suit that must be custom made. There’s a hole for his tail and everything. Maybe he goes to the same tailor Ant does?
No. I am not thinking about Ant.
“Mr. Loch.” I smile, and offer him a hand to shake.
“Real pleasure to meet you.” He wraps large green fingers around mine and gives an alarmingly disarming grin.
Behind him a Bigfoot steps into our tiny office, looking around with a small frown. We only really have one office space, with four desks crammed into it. Sacha Kwatch, his slicked back hair just barely brushes the ceiling. He must be at least eight feet tall.
“Small space,” the Bigfoot says.
“Sacha. Say hello to our newest potential acquisition.” Loch gestures to me.
Sacha just nods in my direction. His heavy brows furrowed in concentration. Thick fur covers almost every inch of his visible body.
“I was surprised you wanted to meet here,” I admit. “We’re operating on a slim budget. A couple of grants and a few clients, having a sponsorship with Cryptech would help us expand into more comfortable quarters.”
All three of my employees are in the office today. I feel like we look more impressive when the desks are full, and I wanted everyone to meet.
Kara, who does all of our social media and admin work, has her laptop set up in the tiny corner that barely counts as a desk.
Josh and Lex share a desk at the other end of the room, their laptops set up facing each other. They are rarely both in the office. Most of our work can be done remotely. Josh’s canes lean against the wall behind him. It’s difficult for him to navigate the tiny office with his walking aids.
I know there’s a lot of irony in our offices being less than accessible, but it’s the only space that we could reasonably afford, and these issues are part of the reason I am always willing to allow my employees to work from home.
The fourth and final desk in the office is mine. I’m here most days. I prefer having a way to separate my work from my personal life.
But four desks and a narrow walkway in the middle is all the space we have in our tiny office. Not a lot of room for testing or meetings. Not even a quiet room to take a phone call without everyone hearing.
I’ve done my absolute best to tidy the space for this meeting. There are still large piles of spare tech around the room, overly full drawers I can’t quite shove closed, and a precarious stack of mail perched on the edge of my desk ? ? 1 , threatening to topple over.
I glance past the two cryptids, for a third figure to walk through the door. No one shows up. It’s kind of disappointing. I was hoping Pontius would come too. I’ve admired his work and I was looking forward to meeting him.
“Mr. Pleasant isn’t here?” I ask.
Magnes grins widely. “You wanted to meet him as well?”
“I just assumed he’d be with you.” I feel a little sheepish, of course I wanted to meet the head programmer of the most famous tech company in the city.
Magnes shakes his head. “Afraid it’s just me and Sacha. Pontius is out of town for the season visiting family. He doesn’t usually come to these kinds of meetings anyway. He’s more like the wizard behind the curtain. Sacha is just our heartless Tinman.”
“And Magnes is our brainless Scarecrow,” Sacha grumbles. I laugh at his joke, but the Bigfoot is quiet as he examines the room. “Just the four of you?”
“Just the four of us,” I agree with a nervous smile. “Getting a larger, more accessible space would be our first priority if you agreed to a sponsorship.” I admit as Sacha bumps his shoulder against a storage cabinet, if he spread his arms he could probably touch every corner of the small room.
Magnes nods. “We could certainly make that happen for you.”
“If you accomplished everything you’ve done so far from this insufficient space, I imagine you’d be far more effective in an adequate office.” Sacha blows air out of his nose.
“We’d love to expand. Lex has been eager to work on physical interfaces.” I gesture to Lex sitting in the corner. “With more space and money, we could invest in injection molding and 3D printers for fabrication. They can probably tell you more about that themselves.”
Lex practically leaps to their feet to explain their wildest fabrication dreams. Even though I asked them to keep it relatively realistic, it’s great to see them excited about work they are passionate about. There’s a lot more boring technical chatter, and to my relief both cryptids seem to be on board. Loch is visibly excited and Kwatch at least seems not to despise us.
“We’re excited to work with you, Ms. Hamilton.” Sacha’s face is still grumpy but his voice is gentle enough. “You can expect to hear from us soon.”
“We should put a meeting on the books now.” Loch’s fingers flying across his phone as he speaks. “We have some free time on Wednesday. If you could meet in our office.”
“Oh, that soon?” I ask.
“This is an opportunity we don't want to miss. I expect you’ll have a dozen offers any day now.” Loch says without looking up, my phone buzzes with a notification, I glance down to see an email arrive in my inbox from the cryptid standing directly in front of me. “I’d like to move on this quickly so we can have the buzz in the news before the holidays really hit.”
Kwatch raises an eyebrow in his partner’s direction. “You want to do it before Pontius gets back?”
“He won’t care, he never gets involved in these kinds of acquisitions anyway.” Loch says.
“I can definitely be available,” I say, surprised they are offering to move that quickly. I glance between the two males. There’s some unspoken communication between them, but I am not going to kick a gift horse in the mouth.
“Excellent. The quicker we can move them into a larger space, the quicker they can expand. Announce new projects, scale up. With our guidance, of course,” Loch concludes.
“If that’s what you think is best.” Sacha gives him a half-hearted shrug. While I’d love for the CFO to have a little more enthusiasm for our cause, I’m willing to accept any level of commitment if it means money and the ability to expand.
“We’ll have the details drawn up this week. Bring your lawyer with you, Ms. Hamilton.” Magnes is grinning like he just got a new toy for Christmas. “I think we’re all excited to move forward with the project.”
The Bigfoot shrugs, he really doesn’t seem excited.
They give polite goodbyes and leave.
“Holy shit,” Josh mutters as the two imposing figures walk out the door. “Holy fucking hell! You did it, Piper!”
The tension drops from my shoulders and I sink into a chair. An old beaten up office chair, with a broken arm and squeaky wheels, and in a few weeks, I’ll never have to look at it again. We did it.
Kara is practically bouncing in her seat. “Does this mean I’ll have a real desk and not just a folding table?” she asks with a laugh.
“I expected a lot more back-and-forth than that!” Lex laughs, and they’re right. But, we aren’t a big operation, maybe the cost is nothing for a company like Cryptech. They offered to sign with us the same casual way that I decided to get a muffin with my morning coffee run.
“No more cramped basement office? Or Lex kicking me under the desk?” Josh jokes.
“We’ll have leg room, buddy.” Lex high fives him over the table. “And resources! A 3D printer, a laser cutter, a painting studio! I’m going to start making a list now!”
“Hold on, we have to make sure the deal is good, that they don’t backtrack, or try to undercut our worth or?—”
None of my words are getting through the banter in the office. Everyone is too excited, and it’s great to see them happy.
“Coffees. Lunch. Whatever you all want, it’s on me today,” I announce with a laugh, too relieved by everything to pretend I’m not also excited.
“Hell yeah.” Josh immediately starts taking lunch orders.
I stare at the email on my phone in disbelief. This could change everything. I could provide really steady paychecks for my employees. Higher wages, hire more people, expand our reach…I’ll actually get to see everything I’ve worked so hard for truly come to fruition.
1 ? Even a tech company can’t seem to avoid junk mail.