Chapter 6 Angeni Luna
Angeni Luna
When you look back, will you regret the time you spent with your babies or the time you spent away from them?
This is so good. I can’t imagine being away from my babies. So happy I get to be home with them
will never regret the time I spend with them, even on the hard days
Thank you for this reminder You are a beautiful giver of perspective
Anytime I’m at the end of my rope, I remind myself that I’ll miss this time one day. We mothers are so lucky
It had been two days since Angeni released the birth video, which was one of her most popular posts to date. Engagement was up dramatically. In forty-eight hours, the Mother Nurture account had gained ten thousand followers.
After watching comments come in on her latest post, she tapped over to check her email and saw that a literary agent had reached out to inquire about her interest in writing a book. The world needs content like yours, reminding all of us of the sacredness of motherhood in this wounded world.
Angeni had used those exact words before—the sacredness of motherhood in this wounded world.
This agent had clearly done her homework.
Angeni immediately googled the agent’s name—Elizabeth Conroy—and discovered she was quite successful and well known, representing a roster of self-help and nonfiction writers who had become household names. This wasn’t a scam; it was real.
A book.
Angeni Luna had considered a book, of course.
While it was true that many people didn’t read anymore and Instagram would remain her main vehicle for communicating her ideas, a book would lend her a certain amount of credibility.
A published book was evergreen, inarguable proof of making it in the world.
Currently under her name on Instagram was the title public figure.
If she wrote a book, she could change that to author.
That seemed more prestigious, more respectable. It would be a clapback to the haters.
Angeni was sitting in the rocking chair in their family bedroom, Freya on her breast. She tried to restrict her phone time to moments when Freya’s attention was on feeding and Angeni could hold the phone behind the baby’s head so she was blissfully unaware of the presence of this technology.
To help protect against electromagnetic fields, Angeni had placed special harmonizing stickers on everyone’s phones on The Land.
When she’d given one to Sitka, explaining that it was a requirement for their living situation, Sitka had looked as if she’d handed her bird droppings.
She’d had to explain that the stickers were infused with semiprecious gemstones emitting negative ions to help balance out the positive ions from phones.
Angeni didn’t know if it was perfectly safe, but it was safer than nothing.
On her mental list of topics to bring forward on Mother Nurture, EMFs were near the top.
She knew posting about them would get lots of eye roll emojis, but she didn’t care. People should know.
Freya turned her head, as if trying to see what was behind her that had her mother’s attention.
Angeni put her phone down on the floor. At some point, Freya would become aware of the phone, of course.
Angeni and Erik had already talked about how to navigate this.
They planned to refer to the phone as a “work tool” so that Freya did not associate it with entertainment or stimulation.
“Sitka,” Angeni called out.
She needed to discuss this book possibility with everyone as soon as possible.
When Sitka didn’t immediately appear, Angeni called out again: “Sitka!”
As the last syllable was still vibrating in Angeni’s throat, Sitka appeared in the doorway.
“Yeah?” she said, eyebrows raised in expectation.
“Sorry, I’m just a little excited. Do you think you can gather everyone for a family meeting in the kitchen?” Angeni asked.
“Sure,” Sitka said. “Everything okay?”
“I have news.”
From the rocking chair, Angeni heard the sound of her people gathering in the kitchen. She let Freya finish, watched the nipple pop out of her mouth as milk trickled down from the corners. It was the most satisfying thing to see her daughter so satisfied.
She rebuttoned the opening of her dress and went to the kitchen, holding Freya against her chest. When she entered, everyone went silent, all eyes on her. They were all seated in chairs around the island. Angeni sat in her own chair, and Sitka approached.
“Do you want me to hold her?” Sitka asked.
Freya answered for them, smiling at just the sight of Sitka’s face. Her drowsy milk-drunkenness gave way to pure, ecstatic joy. Angeni nodded to Sitka, and Sitka lifted the baby against her chest. She started pacing the length of the kitchen, bouncing Freya in her arms.
“So Sitka says there’s news?” Aurora said, noticeably rising from her seat. Aurora was always so easily excitable. “It’s the birth video, huh? Did Oprah call you?”
Angeni watched Sitka pause her pacing to look at Aurora with the same pity or disdain she’d shown during the Abraham Lincoln debacle.
“No, not Oprah,” Angeni said with a laugh.
Sitka resumed pacing.
“But,” Angeni said, “I did get an email from a literary agent.”
Aurora nodded enthusiastically, like And? And?
“That’s great, babe,” Erik chimed in.
“So great,” Matt added.
“She asked if I was interested in writing a book. She said she can think of several editors at publishing houses who would be clamoring for it.”
That was the word she’d used—clamoring.
“Wow,” Sitka said, stopping again.
Was Sitka genuinely impressed, or just surprised? Angeni couldn’t tell. She was bothered by how much she wanted the girl to be impressed. There was something about Sitka that seemed incapable of being impressed with anything.
“I know, it’s crazy,” Angeni said, her eyes locked with Sitka’s. “I never would have thought I’d write a book.”
Though she had thought this, had always known it in her bones. She was just waiting for the right time, the right opportunity, a calling from the universe.
“You are made for this,” Aurora said, in alignment with Angeni’s own thoughts.
“Just incredible,” Erik said. “This will take you to a whole new level.”
They were all talking over each other. Angeni felt like she was levitating.
“Did you email her back?” Matt asked.
“Not yet,” Angeni said. “I wanted to talk to you all first.”
“Us?” Aurora asked.
Sitka stepped away from the island, went to the giant beanbag cushion on the back wall of the kitchen. She lay down on it, held Freya up above her, arms outstretched. They were both smiling, giggling.
“Well, yes,” Angeni said. “Because if I’m going to pursue writing a book, that’s a huge time commitment, and I’ll need the support of my community.”
“We got you, babe,” Erik said.
“Anything you need, Ang,” Matt said.
“We are here to support you,” Aurora said.
“I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I haven’t even responded to the agent yet, but I just want you all to know that I realize this would be a community effort.”
“Totally,” Erik said. He looked each of them in the face before saying, “And I think I can say, on behalf of our community, that we are here to do whatever we can to enable you to do this.”
“This is what community’s about,” Jer said with his usual solemnity.
“Watch us rise to the occasion,” Matt said with a theatrically deep voice.
Angeni laughed.
“Are you guys sure?” she asked.
They all nodded.
Angeni looked at Sitka in the beanbag chair. She had yet to say anything about the news. Angeni wondered if she didn’t yet feel like one of them, part of the group, with a right to an opinion.
“The thing is, I do want the projects on The Land to continue, and I know you guys are knee deep in those,” she said, looking at Erik, Matt, and Jer.
“I can help with Freya,” Aurora offered, raising her hand high in the air like a kid in school.
Sitka was still not looking at Angeni.
“Thank you, Ror,” she said. “Freya is so lucky to have such a loving auntie. I was thinking Sitka may help too. Freya seems to love both of you so much.”
Sitka finally looked up, seemingly surprised to be included in the conversation.
“Oh,” she said. “Yeah. I can help.”
Angeni noticed Aurora’s shoulders slump slightly. Always adept at reading a room and soothing hurt feelings when she saw them, she said, “Ror, maybe you can take on more of the meal prep and cooking I’ve been doing. We can come up with weekly menus together.”
Her eyes lit up. “That sounds great.”
“This feels good,” Angeni said. “I think I’ll respond to the literary agent later today.”
“So happy for you, babe,” Erik said.
She gave Erik a loving smile. He was so devoted to her. Her happiness was his. She felt sad for women who settled for anything less than this.
“Sitka, do you mind joining us at the island?” Angeni asked. “I think we need a community inhale.”
They did these every now and then, when discussing any big decisions related to their lives on The Land.
Sitka pushed herself up with one hand from the beanbag chair, holding Freya against her with the other hand. She retook her seat at the island, Freya in her lap. The six of them held hands around the island and closed their eyes.
“Okay, everyone, let’s exhale everything that isn’t serving us,” Angeni said.
They all exhaled loudly, some of their exhales transforming into drawn-out sighs.
“And now let’s take a big inhale of all that is possible for us.”
On cue, they all inhaled and held it for their usual count of eight. Then they opened their eyes and exhaled, their breaths mingling, a perceptible electricity in the air.
It was a rare sunny day, a break from the usual misty gray.
It was as if the clouds had parted in celebration of Angeni’s book prospects.
She was already thinking of the structure of the book, the chapters she would create.
She was already imagining the glowing reviews, the expansion of her online community.