Chapter 20 Sasha #3
So it stood to reason that Erik hadn’t told Angeni.
Given that they were such big proponents of open communication and honesty, there was a significant reason he wasn’t telling Angeni.
He knew she wouldn’t approve, or would have concerns.
Sasha liked that it was their secret, even if they hadn’t admitted to each other that it was their secret.
She liked that they had this nightly rendezvous, even though there was no explicit collaboration or stated intention behind it.
And if she was honest with herself, she liked Erik’s company.
There was a stiffness to her interactions with Angeni and Aurora; she barely talked with Matt and Jer.
Aside from Freya, Erik was the only real connection she’d felt on the land.
While Angeni and Erik were out by the firepit for their weird little date, Sasha was in the living area with Freya, letting her have tummy time on her floor mat while Sasha was on her phone. She had a new message notification for her Nurture Mother account.
Hello. I am Angeni Luna’s husband and we could not help but notice the similarities in appearance between your page and our @mother.nurture.official page. We ask respectfully that you consider adjusting your aesthetic. Thank you.
So this must be Erik’s account, the one he used to monitor Angeni’s social media life. It was a private account with the handle @forest_man_83. She typed out a quick response to him.
Hi, Angeni Luna’s husband. Respectfully, I will consider adjusting my aesthetic when your wife considers the damage she does with her posts. Thank you.
She knew he wouldn’t respond immediately because he was in the middle of their “date.” She wondered if he would respond at all.
He didn’t seem to directly engage with any of the commenters on Angeni’s posts.
Nobody had ever responded to the first message Sasha had sent in the aftermath of Daphne’s death.
It appeared it hadn’t even been read. With the new back-and-forth, Erik would probably block her from Angeni’s page, but Sasha had already decided that was fine.
Angeni’s page was public. Sasha could continue to view it from her regular Instagram account and then create response posts accordingly.
As she bent down to tickle Freya’s belly, she heard the side door open, and Angeni marched inside, clearly upset. It was no more than twenty minutes into her “quality time” with Erik.
“I can take Freya,” Angeni said, making a beeline for her daughter and lifting her off the floor.
Freya started to cry. She didn’t want to be picked up.
She was enjoying playing on the floor. But Angeni was not deterred.
With Freya in her arms, she continued her angry march down the hallway and then closed the door to the family bedroom.
It wasn’t quite a slam shut, but it was forceful and loud.
A few moments later, Erik walked in from outside, looking exhausted, like he’d aged ten years since dinner.
“Everything okay?” Sasha asked.
He opened the fridge, took out a can of sparkling water, cracked the tab, and guzzled it like a frat boy would a beer.
“I don’t know,” he said.
When she noticed him looking down the hallway, Sasha said, “She took Freya, and they went to the bedroom. She seemed . . . upset.”
He came to sit on the couch, on the farthest cushion from Sasha.
He let his head fall into his hands, and Sasha took the opportunity to hit the record button on her phone.
The first night he’d come to visit her, she’d been too surprised and distracted to record their interaction, but she’d been recording all of them since, continuing her research-gathering mission.
So far, he hadn’t said anything damning, but just the fact that he was having these meetups with Sasha would be of interest to the Angeni Luna followers who considered him the model partner.
Sasha felt a tinge of guilt about the recordings, because she really did like talking to him.
She told herself she could always decide not to use them.
They were just nice to have, ready to be leveraged should the need arise.
“I don’t know what’s going on with her,” he said.
The words were barely audible, as he spoke them into his palms. He had never said anything like this before, never admitted to anything being wrong with Angeni. In their strange corner of the universe, Angeni Luna was the epitome of perfection.
When he lifted his head, he pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes and rubbed.
“Maybe it’s the book that’s getting to her,” he said, staring ahead, unblinking. He turned to Sasha. “Does she seem stressed about the book?”
“She did mention that she’s struggling with it,” Sasha said. “Yeah, that was the word she used—struggling.”
He sighed.
“It’s too much to take on. People think she’s this strong person, but . . .”
She waited for him to finish his thought, but he didn’t.
“It is a lot to take on,” Sasha said neutrally. She couldn’t help but add, “Especially for someone who’s never done a project of that magnitude before.”
Especially for someone who has no right to take on a project of that magnitude was what she wanted to say. The fact that the publisher was paying Angeni $200,000 for it was absurd.
“She thinks I resent her,” Erik said.
There was an obvious follow-up question to this. Sasha debated whether or not to ask it. What did she have to lose?
“Do you?” she asked.
“I didn’t think so. I was trying not to . . .”
There was a “but” he wasn’t going to share. As Sasha was trying to think of how to lure out the “but,” she was interrupted by the sound of the side door opening.
Erik and Sasha both craned their necks to see Aurora coming inside. Sasha watched Aurora’s surprise as she took in the two of them sitting there on the couch.
“Oh,” she said. “Hi.”
“Hey,” Sasha said.
“Where’s Angeni?”
Aurora was not hiding her mild panic well.
“Bedroom. With Freya,” Erik said.
“What about your date?” Aurora asked.
“Ended earlier than expected,” he said.
Aurora glanced down the hallway and then back at them.
“Is everything okay?”
Erik stood from the couch. He put a hand on Aurora’s shoulder as he walked by her.
“It’s fine,” he said. An unconvincing reassurance.
He started down the hallway, shuffling his feet as if he did not want to go where he was going. Aurora watched him for a moment and then turned back to Sasha, her eyes begging Sasha for more information.
“Did he say something happened?” she asked.
“Nope,” she said. “Nothing specific.”
“Maybe I’ll go talk to them. Make sure everything’s okay.”
Sasha watched Aurora go down the hall, heard her tentative knock on the bedroom door, saw the door open. Aurora slipped inside, and Sasha imagined the mini therapy session that would ensue between the three of them. This place was so strange.
A few minutes later, Erik came out of the bedroom. Sasha tried to be busy on her phone, to appear uninterested in whatever drama was unfolding.
“Ror and Ang are talking,” he said. “Think I’m going to sit by the firepit.”
He lingered for a moment as he said this, and she wondered if he was considering inviting her.
“Enjoy,” she said.
He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. Then opened it again and muttered, “Thanks.”
Sasha went to her room shortly after Erik went to the firepit.
Freya’s before-bedtime feed was due soon, and then Angeni would call for Sasha to take the baby for the first half of the night.
Sasha sat against the headboard of her bed, checking the latest activity on her posts.
There was a message waiting for her. She tapped to read it. It was a response from Erik.
My name is Erik, sorry I didn’t mention that in the first message.
I wanted to say that I read through your posts and I see where you are coming from.
I do not think my wife intends any harm, but I understand your perspective.
Obviously, it’s your right to say what you want to say, and I cannot make you change the appearance of your page either. I wish you the best.
He must have just sent this message, while sitting out by the firepit. She typed a response.
I have to say I’m pleasantly surprised at how kind your message was.
Thank you. I appreciate you saying that you understand my perspective.
I know your wife does not intend any harm, but some of what she says IS harmful.
Women have died trying to pursue what she preaches.
Perhaps you can consider speaking with her.
She may take it in if it comes from you.
His response was immediate. Here they were, engaging in a real-time conversation.
Women have died? I’m sorry, I’m not seeing what you mean. I’ve seen how many people she’s affected in a positive way.
Well, this was interesting.
Women die attempting home births. It happens. She should be more responsible.
She assumed that was going too far, that he would not respond, or would respond with something terse and agitated, but he didn’t.
I’m sorry if this is true. I know she would be horrified to know this. She speaks from her heart and she is very passionate about her beliefs. I will speak with her about this particular issue though. Sending love.
So that was the end of it, at least for now.
An hour or so later, Sasha heard Aurora leaving Angeni’s room, telling her to sleep well. Once Aurora had gone, Angeni called for Sasha and handed baby Freya to her. Angeni’s eyes were red, like she’d been crying.
“Are you okay?” Sasha asked.
“Yes, I will be, after some good sleep.”