16. Meredith
16
MEREDITH
C lass is a bit of a bitch today, and it actually has nothing to do with the material or my hard-ass teachers. It’s not even to do with the fact that I missed a day on Monday, considering my workload on Monday is the lightest.
No, it’s about my brain. My brain which keeps conjuring up memories of Grizzly claiming me in front of Dart and Trap.
I can’t quit daydreaming. I keep remembering the feeling of him inside me, and the way he looked at me. Especially just before I left. The things he said to me about being his obsession, his dirty little secret. The flames were fanned and spread like wildfire. I couldn’t quite say I was obsessed, but I definitely felt a pull toward Grizzly, a curiosity that I wanted to explore.
But given that I’ve never experienced three men vying for me before, how much fun it was watching them squirm and fight over me, and the fact that I knew I was due for some damn fun for once in my life, I couldn’t resist the pull of being with all three.
I knew when I got there that the dynamic was going to be tricky. Maybe I would’ve been more comfortable starting with Dart. Or at least, that’s what I went in thinking.
But in a way, I knew Grizzly would be safe. He’d protect me.
I’m his daughter’s best friend, and I’ve known him most of my life, even if there’s been nothing sexual there until now. And I knew he’d make it a hell of a lot of fun.
But I also knew that it would make him feel respected and special in the way he needed to feel so there wouldn’t be some big knockout fight between the three of them. Because bickering is one thing, but I know these men are much more dangerous than just the male version of a catfight.
There’s no doubt now that Grizzly was the right choice. He rocked my world, and he wasn’t kidding about being obsessed. He’s had my phone number in his cell for a while, mostly just in case he needed to get a hold of Harlow and her phone died or something. She has a habit of letting it die and not charging it or forgetting it places. But he never really used it.
But now, I’m getting a message on the hour every hour. Not to mention that Dart joined in just a few moments before class ended.
I’m walking across campus in a daze, my body automatically headed toward my dorm room. It’s Tuesday, and all I can do is think about the weekend and how I’m going to get away with seeing them again. What else they might do to me now that Trap and Dart will have a turn to claim me. All the ways that they might dirty me up again…all the names they might call me.
I think Grizzly’s created a monster out of me. I’ve gone from an innocent little doll to this used-and-abused woman high off her ass on one interaction and three orgasms—it’s just insane.
And for the most part, I haven’t thought about my father at all. I can’t think of anything else to say to him, and I know somewhere in the distance the prospects are watching the campus. They’re watching my father’s house too, just in case the Russians show up looking for him.
And there’s always one stationed just outside my dorm, hanging around and trying to look natural. Though, I don’t think Rap could ever look fully natural. He’s cute and funny, but blending in with more than ten piercings on his face is a hard thing to do.
There’s a tap on my shoulder and I practically jump like a scared cat. I grab my chest and turn to find Addy staring at me like I’ve lost it. I start laughing it off.
“Sorry. I was lost in my head. How’s your day?”
I keep walking, thinking she’s going to keep pace with me and maybe come back to the dorm with me, but she stops me from walking and turns me around to face her. “How is my day? You’re scared when I come up to you? Where the hell have you been? You missed classes yesterday and you didn’t answer your phone at all. Harlow didn’t even know where you were.”
I want to just tell her I didn’t feel well. But Addy deserves the truth. At least as much of it as I can tell her.
I sigh, my shoulders sagging.
“Why don’t we go back to my dorm and talk? Do you have the time? I’ll even make you some good coffee.”
She loves it when I make iced coffee at home. She says it tastes just as good as Starbucks. I beg to differ, but it’s flattering.
She gives me a soft smile. “Okay. I don’t have any plans. But you better tell me everything.” She laughs when she says it, pointing at me with her manicured finger, but my laugh is more nervous.
Because the truth is, I can never tell her the whole truth. Not only would it be wrong to tell her before Harlow knows what’s going on between me and Grizzly, but also I was specifically told not to tell anyone. This is strictly a secret.
Which, right now, is fine with me. Because I don’t know where this is going. This could crash and burn by next week, and then there would be no point in dragging Grizzly through the pain of possibly getting a fight with Harlow over this, or me losing a friend over it either. It would just be something in my past. A very vivid memory.
We walk to my dorm mostly in silence, and I keep thinking through everything that happened, trying to figure out how to explain it. Addy is a bit newer to the group than me and Harlow. Harlow and I have been around each other for years, but Addy doesn’t know everything about our pasts. Hell, Harlow doesn’t even know the whole story, so it’s going to be hard to explain my father when they don’t know the extent of it. They know we don’t get along and that he’s kind of irresponsible, but that’s the understatement of the century.
I guess she’s about to find out.
It takes about half an hour to get fully settled with our iced coffees and some snacks on the couch in my dorm. I put on Netflix for some background noise and turn the volume down. Some old nineties thing I’ve seen a hundred times.
“So, whatever it is must be a big deal, because you’re acting weird about it.”
Addy’s so good at reading people, I’m almost afraid she’ll see all the secrets written all over my face. That I’ll never be able to keep anything from her.
I nod, looking down at my thumbs as I fiddle in my lap. “Do you remember what happened to Harlow? Before the babies and everything?”
Addy nods. “Yeah, it was so scary. She was gone, and what happened there was kind of vague, but I got the gist. The MC had to save her and all…”
I look up at her and we lock eyes. She instantly knows it has something to do with that. “Oh my God. Don’t tell me they got you too? If that’s the case, how did you get out?”
I shake my head. “My story’s a little bit different. There’s something you don’t know about my life. My dad?—”
“That son of a bitch.” I look up at Addy and gasp. She’s not usually one to speak like that. “I’m sorry. Just, I know you mentioned him being really irresponsible, maybe a bit of a drunk that you had to watch over and put to bed a few times. I always got the impression it was worse than you were letting on. I can’t stand parents who don’t give a shit about their children. But go on.”
She makes a motion as if she’s zipping her mouth shut, and it makes me chuckle.
“Well, you’re right about that. He’s much worse. He’s been gambling away all of our money for years, to the point where he’s had to take loans from some seedy people. I try to stay out of all that. Mostly, it’s been my job to keep him out of jail and go pick him up when he’s on the bender. This time, I got this call from a nurse who found him kicked out of some casino downtown. He was passed out drunk. She made sure he was okay and was able to give me a call. Anyway, I went to pick him up to care for him as usual. At least I thought it was like usual. But the next morning, things were just totally freaky.”
I pause and take a few sips of my coffee, though my heart is racing and I probably shouldn’t have too much. I feel like it might explode. It’s so weird reliving it this way, and I don’t know why, but I feel this sudden judgment.
Addy is one of my best friends and is not going to look at me badly because of my father’s terrible behavior. I know it’s not the case, but my anxiety is getting the better of me.
Addy reaches over and places a hand on my knee comfortingly. It’s all I need to have the strength to go on.
“So anyway, the next morning he’s freaking out. He’s got me thinking maybe he’s on drugs or something, except I can tell he’s stone-cold sober. He’s talking about people coming after him and maybe coming after me. He starts packing everything up and forcing me to pack. He won’t tell me much of anything, and I protest. He basically says that we have to leave and we’re going to live somewhere else. Of course, silly me, I think it’s crazy and I tell him off. I say I have a life here and I’m finally in college and doing well. That he’s not going to put me through this anymore.”
“Don’t beat yourself up over this, Mer, there’s no way you could’ve known. If he’s not trustworthy, there’s no reason for you to have trusted him that day either. Besides, you’re right. You do have a life here. So, did they hurt you?”
I scoff. “It depends what you mean by hurt. Basically, I went for a run here on campus and got duped by someone who was asking for directions. They seemed like they were looking for someone. Then, I got a needle to the neck. I woke up somewhere strange. I was prepared...” I don’t really feel like going into the exact details. I’m sure she can use her imagination there.
“So anyway, I had to walk across this stage, and before it was my turn, this Russian man pulled me aside to tell me that the reason I was there was because my father had cut and run on them, and owed them a lot of money. Like, an ungodly amount of money. And the only way they could think to get paid back was to sell my virginity to the highest bidder.”
Addy gasps. She’s horrified, and I can’t blame her. If I were in her shoes, and she was in mine, I’d be scared to death that it would be me next. “So…did you have to…?”
Of course, I know what she’s asking. I try not to give anything away. Try not to blush or anything. Because it’s going to become obvious if I do that, that something has happened.
But I didn’t have to do anything. Ironic that I ended up losing my virginity anyway.
I shake my head. “By some miracle, Harlow’s father and a couple of the other members of the MC were there. I guess they were spying on the Russians or something and had been tipped off about the event. I prayed when I saw them that I was saved. Sure enough, they got me out of there so quick. They brought me back to the clubhouse and watched over me to make sure that the shock didn’t cause any other problems, and they got me a new phone. Then, I ended up meeting up with my dad and dealing with him. I don’t know if I’m going to talk to him ever again, to be honest. But here I am, safe and sound, back at school.”
Addy blinks a few times, as if she’s entirely confused by what she just heard. “That’s a hell of a lot to go through in a couple days. I’m surprised you’re back to classes now. Always a good student, I guess,” she says, a bit sarcastically. “But seriously, you’re okay? Because I wouldn’t blame you if you’re not.”
I nod. “It’s kind of weird to explain. I just feel like dwelling on it would be worse. I mean, I was safe, and I got out. There were so many girls there, Addy. So many who had to go home with evil, disgusting men. I can’t even imagine what they had to go through. But I’m okay. And that’s what matters. It’s mostly that I’m still angry at my father, more than being traumatized or anything.”
I pause, then add, “You should probably also know that just in case everything goes south with the Russians again, we have some of the MC prospects watching over the campus and my dorm. So, not that I think you have any reason to be involved, but you’ll be safe too.”
Addy sticks her coffee up in the air like it’s an alcoholic drink and clinks it up against mine. “Well, cheers to that. Is one of them Match?” she dares to ask, and all I can do is laugh.
“No, I don’t think so, but you’re shameless. I bet you get him to hook up with you by the end of the month.”
She grins. “That might be a bet I’ll take.”
It’s Friday now, and I don’t know how the hell I’m going to keep hiding these new relationships I have, given that none of them will leave me alone. Dart, Trap, and Grizzly have all been interrupting class for the last couple of days as they send me text messages to check up on me. But checking up on me has turned into some intriguing and addictive sexting as well.
Addy keeps catching me walking away with my phone and sending text messages, and she’s even tried to get a hold of the dang thing to see who I’m talking to. Though it doesn’t help that I can’t keep the goofy grin off my face every time I hear from them. I’m so bad at this secret-keeping thing.
I’ve become like a criminal, constantly seeking a way to text these men. Do they even know that the others are doing this too?
I’m walking out of my last class for the day, wondering if there’s going to be an opportunity to see them this weekend, when I hear the crunching of grass behind me. I’m pretty sure it’s Addy trying to sneak up on me, so I quickly lock my phone and tuck it in my purse. I don’t need her seeing that. Not only would she be shocked to see sweet Meredith sending messages like these, but she would ask about who they’re for. I don’t know if I can lie to her face.
Hands cover my eyes like we’re in high school again, and I stop walking when she goes, “Guess who.”
“Is it a Victoria’s Secret model?”
“Ha. Ha.” She comes around me with a big grin on her face. “I saw you on the phone again. You can try to keep your secrets, but I’m going to figure them out. So, have any plans for the weekend?” She wiggles her eyebrows at me scandalously.
“As of right now, not a thing.”
Addy frowns. I know she was hoping I’d have something salacious going on that she could join in on, or she was hoping to get something out of me. But, luckily, I don’t have much to tell on that note at this point.
That fact disappoints me and settles hard in the pit of my stomach. I’ve been craving them for days. Especially Grizzly. My mouth is watering at the thought of what the other two are going to do when I see them next.
But I try to be here in the present moment as Addy watches me, as if she’s trying to look through my skull and straight into my brain with some kind of x-ray vision.
She’s going to figure this out if I don’t distract her.
“You know what? I have an idea if you really want to go out. Otherwise, we can stay in and do some facials, have some snacks, a sleepover, etc.” I shrug and start walking toward my dorm as if that’s what I’d prefer to do.
Addy skips up next to me. “No, I definitely don’t want to spend the weekend like a loser. What’s your idea?”
I grin, knowing I have her wrapped around my finger now. She never turns down a good party. “Well, we can always go see Harlow and the babies. Plus, it’s Friday. Maybe there’s something going down at the clubhouse. You know there’s always something fun there.”
Addy frowns. “Don’t we always go there?”
I roll my eyes. “Match will be there. Maybe you’ll get to take me up on that little bet we were joking about earlier this week.” I love seeing her squirm. She tries to hold back her elation, but she just can’t.
“Okay. I’ll be ready in an hour and swing by your place. We’re definitely going. Text Harlow to let her know so we can get some time in with her too? I feel like we almost never see her anymore.” Addy runs off as she says this, just assuming I’m going to agree. Which I will.
At least that will get her off my back for now. Though now that I think about it…how am I going to make sure it’s not obvious what’s going on between the three of us if we run into them over at the clubhouse?
I groan as I head back to the dorm and find something to wear. This is going to be an interesting night.