Chapter 7 Davis
DAVIS
The pressure under my ax felt good as I split another massive log.
The crack in the air was my only soundtrack as I worked out my aggression from the previous night’s dinner.
I was angry, but mostly at myself, because over the past few years, as Roger and Millie had talked up their daughter, I had actually looked forward to meeting her.
I wouldn’t call it a crush, so to speak, but I wanted to meet the daughter of my two favorite people.
Shit, maybe it was a crush.
Regardless, the notion of wanting to meet her was stupid.
I had known back then that this amazing woman, living in New York, following her passions and dreams, would likely never settle down again in Macon, and if she did, she’d never be interested meeting the likes of me.
Not a broken, antisocial recluse that would rather be alone and miserable than surrounded by people.
Humiliation spurred me on, lining up log after log. Each hit landed harder and harder until my hairline was soaked, my shirt too. I thought over the words I said to Rae, and how I had envisioned our first meeting going so many times that it was pathetic.
When the Jacksons had first requested that I come to dinner, I was so nervous that I had turned Roger down. I wasn’t ready to meet Rae, not after I had pictured what it would be like so many goddamn times.
But then he had mentioned that she was having a hard time adjusting—that her time in New York hadn’t been easy on her.
He hadn’t really expanded too much, but I knew by his tone that he was worried about his daughter.
I also knew that it was only a matter of time before our worlds connected due to how close I had become to her parents. So, I agreed.
I had even bought flowers but left them in my truck at the last second because I didn’t want to seem like a complete idiot. Thank fuck for that.
Still, I hadn’t been prepared for her ire toward me. She detested me, and wasn’t that just sobering as hell?
The girl I had been secretly somewhat crushing on for years hated me and wanted her parents to have nothing to do with me. Not only that, but she also thought I was pathetic.
I turned to grab another log, swiping at my forehead when my dogs started barking. Turning, I watched as Roger Jackson made his way toward me in his truck, stopping just short of the woodpile.
Tossing the ax, and calming Duke and Dove, I waited for him to exit the car.
Roger Jackson was like a human pillar: strong, stoic, and always thoroughly thought through his questions before he asked them.
He wore pleated pants, loafers, and sweater vests, but he didn’t have a judgmental bone in his body.
He gave more than he had of his time, money, and resources, to everyone he knew.
I constantly felt honored that he’d drive all the way up here to see me; that he laughed at my jokes and he took interest in my life.
Best of all, my past didn’t scare him.
So Little Miss Sunshine had another thing coming if she thought she could scare me off.
“Roger.” I held my hand out for him to shake.
“Thomas, how are we today?” He gripped my hand and then went to pet my dogs. “Hello, you two, you keeping him in check?”
I walked over to the wood pile and started stacking the fresh pieces that I had cut.
“So…” Roger started, and this was why I appreciated him so much.
He didn’t waste time with bullshit; he wouldn’t skirt the issue for half an hour, working his way up to telling me something—he’d always just come right out with it.
I knew why he’d come up, though, so it was nice that we could just get to it.
Cut it off, and then hopefully we could move on.
“I wanted to check on you after yesterday…you left rather abruptly.” He paused, looking up toward the top of the trees surrounding us. “And wearing my shirt….”
“Had to get back.”
He clicked his tongue, which made my dogs lift their heads. “We don’t lie to one another. You’ve always been free to speak, no matter how blunt. Don’t start keeping things from me now.”
Fuck. How did I talk about Rae with him?
Letting out a sigh, I gestured toward the house. “Want some coffee?”
“Always.” Roger followed, until we crested the porch steps and pushed through the screen door.
Roger knew the way to the coffee mugs and began filling his. I took a seat at the table, needing to rest after cutting almost an entire cord of wood.
Once his coffee was done, he joined me, and waited.
I toyed with the edge of a stray napkin, letting the silence stretch, until too much time had passed and half of Roger’s cup had been emptied.
With an annoyed clip, I finally conceded. “She hates me. I just wasn’t expecting that.”
Roger sipped his coffee, patient as always.
“Rae has always struggled with expressing her feelings.”
I scoffed, shaking my head. “She expressed them perfectly fine.”
Leaning forward, Roger set his cup aside. “Her real feelings. Whatever she said to you last night was just fear, maybe a little insecurity…but don’t give up on her. You of all people know better than to give up on someone so easily.”
Because of my brother.
Fuck, the reminder still twisted inside my chest like a butterfly knife.
I didn’t want to give up on Rae, but Roger might have a different opinion if he knew about the developing crush I had on his daughter.
Then again, maybe those feelings were just superficial after fantasizing about this idea for so long.
Maybe if I got to know her, I’d lose interest, and then her anger toward me wouldn’t matter.
“So, it’s settled. You’ll place another order…and I’ll have Rae deliver it.”
“Here?” My voice was pitched too high, but in my defense, I didn’t have people in my space, ever.
Roger laughed, “Yes, here. You two need to try again, and she feels useful helping with the deliveries. Let her pick up your order that you forgot to grab and bring it to you.”
Shaking my head, I looked outside at the yard and animal pens that needed repair. Just a few tweaks here and there, tightening of the wired fences and cleaning out the straw and muck.
“She won’t want to deliver if she knows it’s going to me,” I muttered rather pathetically, looking down at the floor.
I wondered if the real reason Roger was here pushing the two of us together was because he had an inkling that I had secretly harbored a flimsy crush.
Anyone else and I’d tell them to get their nose out of my business, but Roger had earned the right to pry, even to play matchmaker if he wanted to.
I trusted him and Millie implicitly, and if I played along, then they couldn’t blame me when it inevitably fell apart.
My friend’s smile was broad as he leaned closer.
“Then we don’t tell her. Let it take place naturally.
I know she felt something toward you, because she wouldn’t have been so uncomfortable last night or so snarky.
She’s likely threatened by your connection to us, but I think there might be more to it than that. ”
He shifted in his seat as a small grimace broke his features apart like one of Millie’s puzzles. He had a thousand stories in that sad expression, a thousand unspoken truths, and maybe a decent number of regrets.
“Truth be told, although she’s home, I don’t really feel like I have her back.
Something in her is broken, and I don’t know how to fix it.
She won’t open up to us. She’s always been independent, but after hearing how she was living in New York, it really hit hard that we don’t know her at all.
But, typical Rae…she’s our little burst of sunlight, never dulling anyone’s moment with her own problems or issues.
We don’t want to press too firmly, but we want to be there for her as she works through being home again. ”
He paused, slowly spinning the coffee cup toward him and then back, while his mournful gaze fixated on the movement.
There were things he wasn’t saying, and it tugged at me in a way that I wanted to fix.
I wanted to physically get Rae here and make her look her father in the face and put all his fears to rest.
“I don’t want her to leave again,” Roger whispered, raising his gaze to meet mine.
Clenching my fist under the table, where he couldn’t see, I nodded my agreement.
If I had my choice, I’d just wash my hands of his daughter, because I knew deep down that I wouldn’t be the guy to fight for someone that didn’t want me. Someone who thought so little of me. I would rather just live up here and forget about her…but for Roger?
I’d place that order, and I’d try to get his daughter to at least see me as a friend, so maybe she’d stay in Macon.
Maybe she’d find purpose here again, and maybe my friend list would grow by one.