Chapter 27 Rae
RAE
Gripping the underside of the box, I heaved it up on top of the cluttered counter, letting out a string of curse words.
That was only the third box that I had carried in, but they were heavy—full of Nora’s design books.
The previous one was of all her mother’s old dishes and pans.
The one before that was all her shoes. She had way too many.
“Oh my gosh, I’m already tired.” Nora dramatically swept inside and fell onto her secondhand sofa.
It was decent looking once we’d flipped the cushions to hide the stains.
Most of the furniture was purchased online at different sales and swap sites, but Nora made it all work with the right accent lamp or pillow.
All in all, her new place was cozy and cute, and all hers.
I was insanely jealous of the fact that not only did she qualify for a home loan, thanks to a slew of online designs she’d been working on for some time and a portfolio much larger than I initially realized, but she snagged the house and closed within just a few weeks’ time.
Once Nora had gotten over her aversion to the next-door neighbor—her resolution involved tall shrubbery and a fence that would go all the way to their shared mailbox—her entire purchase moved along quickly.
I was beyond happy for her, but while she was busy moving and closing on her first home, I was busy burying my feelings and trying to pretend they had never existed in the first place, as well as dodging the man who was like a second father to me.
I’d had a heart to heart with Carl regarding his strange comment about Davis asking about some girl, when he could have easily warned me that it had been me he was asking about.
He apologized, saying he just wasn’t sure what to say, but it still left me feeling raw and a little guarded.
“What are you doing?” I asked, popping a carrot into my mouth as I moved around the kitchen. Nora was in the living room, standing on her tiptoes with a sheet, trying to cover the window.
“I don’t want him to see inside. Come over here and help me.” She grunted as her body stretched along the expanse of the wall.
“Oh my gosh, you’re being ridicul—”
“Shut it, Rae, and come over and help. It’s almost dusk. What if he goes for a run or something and sees inside?”
“He’ll probably just keep running.” I wiped my hands on my jeans and took my time getting to her.
“You’re so funny. Now hold this up and hand me a tack.”
I gripped the edge of the dark purple sheet and did as I was told. “You’re using tacks?”
Nora’s left foot landed on her side table, while her right balanced on the edge of the sofa.
“I really don’t think you understand how desperate of a situation this is.”
Was she sweating?
Standing under her, to support her and prepare for the tack, I asked curiously, “Did something happen between you two since you got here? Because you’re acting a little unreasonable.”
She grunted to herself. “Go into the wall, dammit! And to answer your question—yes, he saw me.”
“Got it!” she yelled, jumping down and heading to the other side.
From the outside, this was going to look ridiculous. If I hadn’t pushed Davis out of my life, I could probably call him and ask him to come over and help put up the shades, then I could go home with him and snuggle in his bed and wake up to kinky morning sex.
“What happened?” I needed to stop thinking about Davis. What I had done was the only option I had in front of me, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t ripping me to shreds.
Nora continued busying herself with the sheet, using her teeth to keep the tack arranged, then grabbing it and smashing her thumb into the back to pin the fabric in place. Once she was done, she let out a big sigh and jumped down.
“He saw my ass from over his side of the fence. It was the first night I slept here.”
“When you stole my sleeping bag?”
Clicking her tongue, she rolled her eyes. “You can obviously have it back.”
I grabbed my water bottle off the floor and sipped it. “Anyway…explain…”
My best friend stomped toward her bedroom, grabbing another sheet, calling over her shoulder, “He yelled over the fence, asking me to please be courteous of the other neighbors and cover up.”
I choked on my water, wiping at my face while I trailed behind her. “Were you naked?”
She shook the sheet out. “Of course not, I was wearing a robe. It was just a little short, and I didn’t realize he was out when I bent over to check my new garden.”
“You inherited a garden?” My eyes were huge because Nora loved gardening but was terrible at starting them.
Repeating what she’d done in the living room, I moved to support her as she began pinning the sheet over the window. “I did, and it’s so cute. I’m terrified of killing it, so I have been checking it at all intervals of the day.”
“So, what did you do—I mean, when he said that?” I softened my tone, hating that this jerk had already seemed to shake my bestie. It was enough that he’d already crushed her; he could be nice. It wouldn’t kill the idiot.
With a big sigh, Nora blew a rogue curl out of her face. “I just stood up, turned to look at him and said, ‘Maybe you can work on keeping your eyes on your side of the fence, and I’ll work on wearing pants,’ then I sauntered inside, shaking my ass with every step.”
My head tipped back as a cackle erupted from my chest. “You did not say that!”
“I did, and I’d say it again if I were brave enough to go in the backyard again, which I am not.”
This wouldn’t do. “Nora, you can’t give up your beautiful backyard, especially with your new garden.”
“I haven’t given it up. I just time it so I go back there when he leaves for work. I don’t know if he lives with anyone, but so far no one else has come out and harassed me.”
“Are we going to talk about how you know when he leaves for work already?”
Her blue eyes narrowed as her nose flared. “Are we going to talk about what happened between you and Davis?”
I spun on my heel. “Nope, let’s figure out dinner.”
“Come on, Rae!” She chased after me. “You disappeared all weekend, then came back and wouldn’t smile or talk for like two weeks. Now there’s no word of him?”
When I dipped down to grab my purse, she placed her hands over mine, stopping my trajectory.
“Come on, Rae, talk to me.”
I knew she was right, but it didn’t change that I didn’t want to talk about it.
My feelings after I left Davis’s house were locked up inside me, and that’s where I wanted them to stay, so I could hold the memories forever and never have to let them go.
But Nora was my best friend, and she’d gone through all of it with me. It wouldn’t be fair to pull out now.
Deflating, I dropped my purse. “We need vodka, and a comfortable place to sit.”
Nora ran toward the kitchen on bare feet. “On it!”
I explained the whole weekend, leaving out the filthy sex parts. The gas fireplace illuminated the sparse living room as Nora faced me with her feet out, cradling the bottle of vodka in her lap.
“So, he knows,” she hiccuped, “but he doesn’t know.”
I nodded. That was the extent of it. He knew about me…but he had no idea I was that girl who used to leave him notes in his library books and walked over to him while he gassed up his bike and tried to tell him my name.
“But I’m confused…” She tilted her head, letting her curls fall off her shoulder. “Why would he go looking for you now?”
That was something I hadn’t entirely worked out yet. “From what I can gather, I think it was guilt.”
“But guilt over what?”
Leaning forward to grab the bottle from her, I took a large swig. “The note he left me, I’m assuming, telling me to meet him there.”
Saying it all out loud felt like tiny pricks from a needle, jabbing at my heart. Reminding me how stupid I was to fall into bed with the man who’d so thoughtlessly hurt me.
“But from what you said, it sounded like he didn’t give you the note. He sounded confused as to why you were there.”
Concentrating on my lap, I thought over that part of the conversation between Gavin and Davis. It still seemed so confusing. If he hadn’t given me the letter, then who would have? And why? What would anyone have to gain from that?
“Well, what did Davis say when you asked him about it?” The vodka must be hitting her, because I had already told her I hadn’t talked to Davis in over two weeks, except for at the diner the other day.
Which was uncomfortable and painful. He sounded so hurt, but I knew if I had just explained it to him—told him I was his stalker—he’d just sneer and walk out of my life, and what if he cut my parents out too?
They loved him so much and would absolutely blame me if he left their life.
There was no future for us as long as we had the past.
“I broke up with him, we can’t—”
“You broke up with him?” Nora yelled, staggering to her knees.
I leaned back, shielding my face as she began pummeling me with a pillow. “Yes, I had to.”
“He”—the pillow landed on my shoulder— “is” —another hit landed to my chest—“the love” —a crash sounded as the pillow hit her lamp—“of your life.” She finally sagged back into the couch, drunk and blotchy faced. “He sounds like he really cares about you, Rae.”
“He cares about the new me, but once he realizes who the old me is, he’ll run away.”
I tilted my head, taking a long pull on the vodka.
“So, he loves the new you, but will hate the old you? That doesn’t make any sense.”
I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in weeks. “Now he loves me? He definitely did not say he loved me.”
“Rae, you’re being an idiot.”
Laughing again, I shook my head. “Yeah, and you’re a peeping tom.”
“Peeping Toms are what Colson did. I was a naked victim. I should be able to check my garden while I’m in the nude, Rae. It’s biblical.”
“You’re right, Nora-Bora—you should be able to be naked Eve out in your garden. Colson dumb face can suck it.”
The air was getting fuzzy, and suddenly I was so sleepy. “I’m going to sleep here tonight, then I’m going to wake up and kick your neighbor’s ass.”
“Good,” Nora mumbled, settling into the other side of the couch. “Then I’ll tell Davis tomorrow that you love him, and you want to have his babies.”
“Okay, good.” I couldn’t remember what else she said. Sleep claimed me, and I dreamed of little babies with navy eyes and dark hair.
After my drunken night with Nora, I had an epiphany, and it was all thanks to Nora and her garden.
I sat on my back porch, sketching out the ideas that started coming faster than I could contain. I pulled up my computer and began pulling up tab after tab of research. I would need to start the process immediately if I was going to pull off the idea that had been rolling around in my head.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity of being home, I felt like I had a clear vision for how to help the town before winter hit.
Our peak tourist season was about to end, and with it, several business owners would leave for warmer climates until March, and the others just wouldn’t entertain changes or ideas until well after the holidays. It had to be now.
“I thought I’d find you out here,” my mom said gently. Things between us since I came home that weekend with Davis had been strained and awkward. I refused to talk about it, and it seemed like it was all she could think about. Nearly every day, she’d tried to bring it up in one way or another.
Instead of answering, I smiled up at her.
“Want some coffee or a snack? You look like you’re hard at work.”
Relief sailed through my lungs. She wasn’t going to bring up Davis, for once.
“I’m actually okay right now, but want to see what I’m up to?”
She took the chair next to me, and leaned over to look at my sketches. “Oh, Rae!”
A warm light hit me square in the chest as I realized what her approval meant to me. We might not have addressed the Davis situation, but seeing her smile felt like walking on the sun.
“You think it’s a good idea?” Oh fuck, were those tears in her eyes?
“I think it’s a wonderful idea, sweetie. This could be so good for the town, and for all the businesses. I know so many people are so scared right now.”
I flipped over a page. “I know, and I figured maybe it was time I started digging in my heels, trying to get this started. I have tried getting in touch with the owners, but trying to connect one on one has been a scheduling nightmare.”
Swiping at her face, she squeezed my arm. “I’m so glad to have you home, honey. Dad and I will help in any way we can, okay?”
“Okay,” I said around the lump in my throat. For the first time since returning home, I actually felt like I had a reason to be here. I had a purpose, more than just fawning over the mountain recluse who broke my heart.
After a few minutes of mom looking over all my ideas, she finally stood and made to go back in the house. She hesitated near the sliding door.
“I just wanted to let you know that Davis is coming over for dinner tonight.”
Standing, I began gathering my things.
“No, sweetie, please don’t go again.” Mom held her hand out, silently begging me to stay.
“Mom, I’m not going over this again.” I gathered everything into my arms. “I told you things didn’t work out between us, and I just don’t care to be in his company.”
“This was exactly why I didn’t want you two getting involved.”
Not the first time I heard her say this, but it didn’t matter. I was an adult now; I didn’t owe her an explanation.
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
“Just tell me what happened. Help me understand.” Again, her hands were out in that gesture that said she just wanted to understand me. I hated that gesture.
“Nothing, Mom.”
I moved past her, heading inside, but the second I stepped foot inside, I froze.
Davis was there in an untucked gray Henley, opened at his throat. His jaw was covered in a few days’ worth of growth, but his eyes were dull, and a sadness seemed to hang around him like a raincloud.
“Rae.” He dipped his head in greeting then walked into the kitchen, breaking eye contact with me and ultimately dismissing me.
It stung, but I had expected that. I had done nothing but shut him out for weeks. Of course he walked away like I meant nothing.
“Just sit and have dinner. I’ll put you on the opposite end of him, and Dad and I will talk the entire time,” Mom said in my ear, sneaking up behind me.
“Mom, no.” I couldn’t. She had no idea how painful it was to be around him when I had feelings so big—when I hurt so tremendously bad from what I’d overheard in his house.
I heard her let out a heavy sigh as I tucked myself away in my room, starving for more than just dinner.