Chapter 39 Davis
DAVIS
In retrospect, I should have made sure that extra gas can was in the back of the truck before I took off. But I wasn’t thinking when I left.
So, three days ago, when I saw the tiny curl of smoke lift from the spot down the mountain, where I knew my house was, something in my gut churned. While I was home and Millie watched over me, not once did she try to start a fire. I didn’t think she knew how.
Roger hadn’t either, though he might know how—but why would they be in my house if I wasn’t there? The hens and goats would be fine for a few days, and I just needed some space to clear my head. Away from the walls that reminded me of her, of her smell, and her things still in my house.
I needed to stop the cracking in my chest, but all around me seemed to be emptiness.
But now, there was someone in my house. I knew it wasn’t Gavin, and while I hadn’t taken my phone with me, I knew if I had my cell and called him up, he’d tell me the same thing he did a week ago, that he was still in Georgia, visiting his family.
No, deep in my bones, I knew it was her.
She’d come back.
Elation quickened my steps, which became increasingly difficult with the rain that had started and made nearly impossible as the downpour continued through the night, and next day.
Now, I was a mere mile from home, and my dogs had given up on waiting for me—they took off running. I wasn’t too far behind when I finally crested my drive, and sure enough, her car was parked in front of the house.
She was home.
Home.
Here. Waiting.
I briskly covered the rest of the space between the driveway and the house but stopped dead when I realized who was curled into a ball under the blanket on the porch.
Her dark hair curly from the rain, her face was clear of any makeup, and she slept, likely through my dogs trying to wake her, and now the gravel crunched under my boots, and she didn’t stir.
Was she alive?
Fuck. That thought punched through me on a new level after hearing about my brother. Shit, if I lost her…I couldn’t—
Shaking my head, I pushed the thought away and dropped all my gear on the porch, crouching down and scooping her into my arms.
She still slept as I walked with her into the house and shut the door. Little lamps were on, warming up the space, along with a fire that was getting low, and it smelled like she had been cooking something.
Walking up the stairs with Rae in my arms, I clutched her tightly to my chest and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. She stirred a moment later, right as I walked into our room. Bypassing the bed that looked freshly made, I carried her to the counter in the bathroom.
Tender fingers moved up my chest, over my clothes, until she was cupping my jaw.
Pinning my forehead to hers, I just breathed her in. A burning sensation threatened to rip me open as I realized she was here, in my arms. For just a brief moment, all was right in the world again.
“You came back,” I murmured into the minuscule space between our faces.
Her fingers moved up, over my ears and to my neck.
“So did you.”
The sound of the pounding rain echoed around us as we stayed connected. Her on the counter, in my arms, my forehead pinned to hers. I knew the words would come, eventually, but she seemed to realize it would take time.
So, I moved. Lifting the shirt I recognized as mine over her head, leaving her naked save for her tall socks and underwear.
She began unbuttoning my flannel, starting at my throat and working her way down, until she was pushing it off my shoulders.
I skimmed the skin along her rib cage, letting my fingers greedily graze.
A whooshing seemed to fill my head as I began to trace patterns into her skin, marking it.
Memorizing it. It was the dull silence that filled me ever since she left, and then my brother—he’d been gone, out of my life, but there was always this lingering hope that he’d come back.
That we’d fix our broken mess and be together again, if I could just fucking speak to him.
Now, he was gone, but Rae—she was here. She was back, and she…a lump caught in my throat as I thought about losing her.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered between us as she pulled my shirt up and over my head. “But you’re mine.” I shivered as her fingers twisted the copper button of my jeans, loosening them and pushing them down my hips. “Always, forever”—I kissed her neck as she pushed my boxers down next—“mine.”
Grabbing her left foot, I peeled the sock off, and then the right. My dirty fingers reached for her underwear, tugging it gently down her legs. Then she gathered her hands once again at the base of my neck as I pulled her to my chest.
Walking us into the shower, I turned the hot water on and let it fill with steam before pressing her back into the cold tile wall.
Her lips found the space next to my eye first, then my ear, and slowly along my jaw, until she captured my lips in a kiss made up of a wild hope that seemed to tear through her as she moved her body against mine.
Starved and rough, she rocked her hips against mine, tugging my hair back and kissing along my neck.
I allowed her to, because I couldn’t fathom that she was here, in my arms again. I didn’t deserve her; fuck, she’d probably only came back because her parents guilted her into it. But I was too selfish to care at the moment.
Letting her down, she grabbed a bottle of shampoo and tugged on my hand.
“Sit.”
I did as she said, trying to relax into the hot spray.
Her fingers were in my hair as she poured shampoo into it, lathering and scraping my scalp clean. Closing my eyes, I let her work and tried to let the last week slip away.
Most of it went. The stress from losing her, the hole in the center of my chest, the fear that I’d never hold her again or kiss her lips. It all melted away, until only the crack of pain regarding my brother was left.
Rae moved over me and began using a bar of soap, washing over my back and then over my chest, in slow and sensual movements.
Then she rubbed the bar of soap in her hands, lathering up, and kneeled in front of me to wash my cock.
It felt intimate, far more intimate than anything we’d done.
Instead of picking her up again and fucking her against the wall, I rinsed and turned off the spray, helping her out of the shower.
Not grabbing a towel for either of us, I carried her, soaking wet, to the bedroom. Tugging the blanket off, and pulling it around our naked bodies, we curled under the covers. Then I pulled her to my chest, curving my body around hers.
Silence seemed to envelop us, just as tightly as I was holding her to my chest. It threatened to drown out any hope I had of fixing what I broke, so I cleared my throat and confessed.
“I didn’t mean any of it…” I let my apology wane in the silence, hoping she’d stop me there, allowing me the coward’s way out. Hadn’t I done that one too many times though?
“I was just hurt that you hadn’t told me.
But please believe me, I didn’t mean it, baby.
Forgive me.” I kissed her neck, wrapping my hand around her, until my palm was over her stomach.
“I know I don’t deserve to have you here with me—to have you at all—and I don’t want your pity.
I just want you, the real you, even if that means it takes a while for you to forgive me. ”
She turned in my arms until she was facing me, wrapping her hands around my neck again, tangling her fingers in my hair.
“You will never get pity from me. Ever.” She pressed a kiss to my jaw then frowned. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I was scared, especially after I heard you and Gavin talking about me. I just freaked out.”
I thought back to that day Gavin had shown up and shook my head. “I’m sorry, it’s shitty that we talked about you. I hate that you had to hear any of it.”
“I know, and I know I should have told you, and I kept meaning to do it, but it just never felt right. I was embarrassed about that part of my life. I was so ashamed.”
I pulled her closer by the hip. “It’s a part of our past, and it will always be safe here”—I grabbed her hand and placed it over my heart—“always. But I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I can’t imagine how painful it was that night you walked in on me…”
She closed her eyes, breathing through her nose. “I thought it was you just being cruel. For so long I believed that I was just a joke to you.”
“Never.” I pressed a kiss to her nose, then her lips. “I heard your confrontation with Carl.”
“You did?”
I nodded. “Your dad has a theory that he had a vendetta against me after he heard what I had done to my—”
My voice broke off, unable to form the word.
Pain crashed back into me like a freight train. She seemed to understand, as her hand came up, cupping my jaw.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so, so sorry.”
Tears burned my throat, and in this moment, with her, the only person on this planet that I trusted with my life, I let the tears for my brother fall, and I let the woman I loved hold me while I fell apart.
I didn’t want to cry. I hated that the tears wouldn’t seem to stop coming.
I hated how weak it made me feel. So, gripping her jaw, I turned until she was under me.
Blue eyes stared back, two pieces of ocean tossed into my stone-filled world.
How did I ever miss it? They were the same ones that stopped me when she was in that library, the same electric current that tugged at my chest when she found me.
The same chord rippling through me all these years later, meant for me.
Mine.
Pressing my lips to hers, I moved my hand down her body until I held her by the hip.
Her tongue slid against mine, deepening our connection, reminding me how starved I’ve been for her.
Pushing her leg wide, I rose above her, settling in between her thighs, bracing my arms on either side of her face.
“You’re mine, Rae,” I whispered, pressing a fevered kiss to her lips. “For fucking ever, do you understand me?” I slowly slid inside her heat, feeling her warmth wrap around me.
“I can’t be without you.” I moved, thrusting hard as she jolted forward, letting out a low moan. “Never again,” I rasped into her skin as I fucked her slowly. “Never again.”
Biting down on her shoulder, I rotated my hips, moving faster as she began meeting every stroke of mine with a hard thrust of her own.
“Never,” she whispered, running her fingers up over my chest. She lifted her leg so I had better access. Pushing my hands under her ass, I pulled her to me while thrusting deep inside her.
The connection was so much stronger than any other time we’d fucked, it was messing with me to a degree. It made me feel stripped of any armor I’d put over my heart as protection against her.
I was still moving inside her when she tucked my hair away from my face and smiled.
“I love you, Davis Brenton. I’ve always loved you.”
I broke.
Shoving my face into her neck, so she wouldn’t see my tears, I increased my speed, pulling her ass against my cock, over and over, until she clenched around me and began crying out my name.
I released inside her, panting with every pump, until I was spent.
We waited there, both of us panting while she drew words into my skin. Then she sealed what we did by saying, “Only yours.” She slowed her breathing, while staring at me with those big blue eyes, and smiled. “I’ve only ever been yours.”
Rae was standing in our kitchen, barefoot, with just one of my shirts on, when I decided I was done waiting. Three days had passed since I came back, and nearly every waking moment had been spent inside each other.
It seemed to be the only way I could effectively communicate my feelings.
I wasn’t ready to talk, and while Rae hadn’t pushed me to, I knew we couldn’t just keep having sex every time the pain of losing my brother began to surface.
It seemed every time my chest felt like it was about to cave in, I’d just grab Rae, spread her legs, and slip inside.
She seemed desperate to help me get past the pain too, so she was more willing than ever to do anything and everything I wanted.
Which included quite a few kinky nights in the truck.
We’d go driving, in hopes that it would help me talk, but every single time, I’d just grab Rae by the hair and pull her mouth to mine, and suddenly she was naked again, straddling me until the windows fogged and we had nothing left in us but to drive back and eat dinner, or go to sleep.
I knew we couldn’t keep it up, especially because Rae had to get back to work at city hall and meet with the businesses regarding everything from when she was away.
But seeing her now, in our home, the place I wanted to start a life with her, it finally happened. The words came out.
“I was waiting for you…or at least, I was trying to. The town, for once, had embraced my help with fixing up the outside of their shops, and several guys even offered to help whenever I needed it. Colson jumped in too, offering materials and labor…” I trailed off, taking a sip of water while Rae carefully watched me in silence.
Moments passed, then she finished her sandwich and moved to the barstool next to mine.
“I was feeling good, and like I wanted to keep improving, so I decided I’d call my mom and dad for the first time.” Shaking my head, I scoffed in disgust. “I actually thought you’d be proud of me for calling them.”
“Davis…” Rae whispered, her voice cracking as her hand came out to grip my arm.
“My mom acted like she didn’t know what to say. Apparently my brother passed away six weeks ago from medical complications and pneumonia, but they never even—” My throat burned as I tried to push the rest of the words out. “They didn’t tell me.”
Rae was there, pushing her way into my arms as she cradled my face in her hands, swiping at the goddamn tears that had started.
I rested my head against her shoulder as she held me, and I broke all over again. This time without alcohol to curb the pain, and this time without the fear of never getting her back.
She was here, and while I was still splitting in half, I knew she would make me whole.