Chapter 9 Liam
LIAM
Itapped my finger against my leg, watching the stairs.
The sound of the blow dryer was still going as my girls giggled and laughed. Apparently having Haley here when they woke up was equivalent to Christmas morning.
By the time I had come downstairs, she was already dressed in the clothes she’d had on last night. My T-shirt was folded in a nice, neat square, along with all the blankets from the couch last night.
I was exhausted because I didn’t get any sleep. Every tiny noise made me jump, thinking it was her. And the fact that I had left my door open meant absolutely nothing. I just wanted to be sure if she needed something she could find me.
I’d be sneaking that shirt into her bag the second she brought one over because it was hers now.
The memory of her standing there in my living room, thick socks pulled up to her knees, and that shirt barely hitting her thighs, sliding off her shoulder, would be imprinted on my brain forever.
Those perky, full breasts pressing against the fabric had me so fucking hard last night.
Around two in the morning, I finally gave in and succumbed to gripping my cock and stroking it as I thought of her.
I sipped my coffee, trying to push those images out of my head.
The things I thought last night…the things I wanted to do to her were so wrong.
She was so young… And fuck, she’d probably think I was a creep.
Although, the way she didn’t pull away from me last night made me wonder.
You’re twelve years older, asshole. Stop thinking about how soft her skin is, or how her hair would look wrapped around your hand as you fuck her from behind.
“Girls, you’re going to be late for school!
” I yelled from my spot at the table. My coffee was cold, and so was the cup I had poured Haley.
She had made breakfast, or tried to. The bacon was burned and the eggs undercooked, but the toast was perfect.
None of us cared because no one had bothered to cook for us in years.
The girls were all dopey smiles and excited giggles.
I had explained that Haley might spend the night some nights. For their sake.
“Sorry, they’re coming!” Haley called from the top of the stairs, her silky hair swaying as she poked her head over and then ducked back into the bathroom.
My heart did an odd thing, thudding erratically like a wild animal was caught inside, scratching to be freed.
Moments later the blow dryer turned off, and all three of my girls jogged down the steps.
Mila had shiny hair that was parted into two symmetrical braids and tied off with pink ribbons.
Seraphina had her hair in a perfectly straight ponytail without a single piece of hair out of place, and Maddy had ringlets bouncing against her shoulders as she hustled down the stairs.
They didn’t look like my girls. They looked like tiny princesses.
“Don’t they look amazing?” Haley beamed, walking over to where I was standing.
They slid into their brand-new boots and zipped up those expensive coats, all of which she had purchased for them.
It was a mallet to my pride, but somehow seeing Haley smile at them as she helped situate their backpacks and hair eased the sting.
She had done this for them. She had made them feel pretty.
My girls were beautiful with or without that stuff, but I knew there was something to feeling it, owning that confidence in a way that no one could take it from you.
“Will you be here when we get out of school?” Mila asked Haley.
Haley glanced over at me, the question in her eyes. I nodded, knowing we’d talk about that later. I didn’t want her to feel like she had to be here, but if she wanted to then she was welcome.
“Yay!” The girls all beamed as we headed outside.
“So, I’ll meet you at the gym in like thirty minutes?” Haley asked tentatively, walking toward her SUV.
The girls all piled into my truck as I agreed.
“Yeah, half an hour. Dress in clothes you can move in.”
She nodded again and got into her car. I waited for her to pull out, then we took off for school. All the while I hoped I wouldn’t make a complete ass out of myself at the first opportunity to be alone with her.
I beat Haley to the gym, letting myself in and turning on the overhead lights.
It was freezing, so I also turned on the heater and powered up all the computers.
Two of them were on the fritz, same with the scanner I used for membership cards.
We pretty much just went with the honor system at this point.
I recalled the conversation I had with Colson after that tense night in the yard where he threatened to break my jaw. Once things had cooled down, he’d come over and we’d talked through the investor meetings I’d had.
“So, you gonna tell me how the meeting went with the investors? Based on how you freaked out on Haley, I’m assuming it didn’t go well.”
I heaved a sigh and sipped my beer. “They came, they saw the gym, we talked… They don’t think I’m a safe bet.”
Colson’s head popped up.
“What the fuck does that mean?”
I appreciated his incredulous tone, but he was a business major, he knew what it meant.
Still, I shrugged as if to go along with it. “Gym’s too far under water. They don’t think I could turn it around even with their backing.”
“That’s bullshit.” Cole shook his head, and that look on his face was why I was so glad to have him.
Just to have someone agree with me, even if we both knew it was true, was such a gift.
It took me back to all the sore spots in my life, when I felt alone.
When I felt like no one else could understand how fucking shitty it was to play out this hand I’d been dealt.
Colson may have a silver spoon, but he was always lending it to me and my kids. He was generous and kind. A good man.
“Yeah,” I mused, sipping from my water bottle.
“So what then, that’s it? They’re out and you’re back at square one?”
I didn’t want to think about closing up my gym, but if I didn’t have any financial backers and the bank wouldn’t extend or increase my loan, there wasn’t going to be another choice.
Colson swiped at his face again, lowering his voice. “So what are you going to do?”
He knew about my past, but he didn’t realize how the fear of losing it all really rode me.
He wouldn’t until he became a father himself.
The stress of keeping your family fed, and in clothes that didn’t have holes and wouldn’t embarrass them in school, it was like a monster on my back all the goddamn time.
“I gotta figure something out. Pathetic, isn’t it?” I scoffed, shaking my head.
Colson waited, letting me continue.
“I have all these titles, these pictures of me winning shit. I was someone important at some point in my life, and now I can’t even keep my doors open.”
Colson let out a heavy sigh next to me. “Shit. That’s not pathetic, man, it’s just a failed business plan.” His eyes swung to me, suddenly alive, like he’d just thought of something. “You know what?”
I waited, leery that he was about to offer a handout. I’d turn it down, and it would strain our friendship. But he knew that. Still, my heart thud wearily in my chest as he seemed to contemplate what he was going to say.
“You should pitch a proposal to Haley.”
What?
Even hearing him mention her made those tangled pieces of my heart seem to tug together.
“Why would I pitch to her?” She was my—well, I suppose she was sort of my nanny, and while I knew she was rich, I wasn’t about to take her money.
Colson seemed completely energized by this idea, so much so that he stood and began pacing.
“Haley just bought Peter’s company. Saved my ass, too, so she’s now technically my boss, but it’s fine. A weird sort of irony if I think about it too hard, but I promised myself I wouldn’t. I almost lost Nora because of my pride over it, so I’m just accepting it.”
Haley had purchased an entire company?
“She owns several, apparently…she hires people to run them, but if you’re looking for a backer, she could be it.” Colson finished, all excited like he’d just had the best idea of his life.
My stomach soured.
Even if he was right, and she was in a position to back me financially as an investor, I would never ask her. I couldn’t. Not when thoughts of tasting her kept me up at night. Images of how she’d one day spread those beautiful legs for me, and welcome me into that tight—
“So what do you think, you want me to ask her with you?”
God, that made it worse.
I stood, shaking my limbs and getting those images of Haley out of my head.
“I’ll think about it.”
I wouldn’t be stressing out over losing my gym if my savings weren’t shot to hell because of all the legal fees and the rehab centers.
For someone who bailed on her kids as often as she did, Lacey sure made a ton of noise regarding getting any sort of time with them.
My lawyer thought it might have something to do with the potential to receive child support if she somehow landed partial or even full-time custody.
After what she did, it should be impossible for her to even have the chance to request it, but according to her lawyer, she’s been in rehab and AA meetings.
Even got herself a sponsor. I’d be thrilled if I believed it, but I don’t.
After everything she put us through, I would never underestimate her ability to cause chaos again.
I thought back to last night what I had told Haley and felt that souring in my gut.
How I hadn’t told the entire story of that first time I realized my wife had a problem, and how it was my fault.
I was out of town when I had received a call from the school that Seraph hadn’t shown up to daycare.
When I tried to call Lacey, she hadn’t picked up.