Chapter 11
Cute Kids Sized Drinks
Dreaming about the Future
Boy short underwear for platonic reasons
New Friends
Baking
Ignoring Red Flags
Orgasms
Iheld a cardboard drink carrier in my hand when the yellow school bus stopped by the row of mailboxes a block down from Liam’s house.
I watched as all the little kids hopped off and ran to waiting parents who readily pulled them into hugs.
It made something ping in my chest, as if a light suddenly shone on something I had never dared desire.
Seeing them all; the smiles and cute little faces.
Yeah, I could definitely see myself as a mom someday.
It was the first time I had ever really considered it, but for whatever reason, it was imprinted on my mind now. Like a little picture pinned to my dream board.
Maybe I could settle down with a guy like Jeffery.
Objectively, he was handsome. Suddenly I imagined what that would be like.
Growing to like him. Eventually learning to love him.
We could have a family and be happy like these other families seemed to be.
But that scenario suddenly flipped quickly because I’d always know that across town lived Liam, Maddy, Mila, and Seraphina.
Suddenly that ping in my chest turned into a tight squeeze.
“Haley!” Maddy called, stepping off the bus. She waited for Mila to come next and held her hand, leading her away from the bus. Seraphina came after, and all three girls walked over to me. I knelt and pulled them each into a snug hug.
“Here, I got us mochas.” They were more like milkshakes, made with chocolate instead of any coffee, but the cute, kid-sized cups made it look like they were drinking coffee.
“Yay!” Mila squealed, reaching for hers.
I plucked each drink out of the holder and handed it to each girl.
We walked in easy conversation while the sun shone brightly down on us. The weather had started to warm up, which was such a nice reprieve. It was still the first part of January, but the sun felt nice, and seeing all the melting snow made me think spring might be on the way.
“Are you going to pick us up every day?” Maddy asked as we crossed the street and headed into their driveway.
I focused on entering the code Liam had given me and then opened the door.
“I’m not sure yet. This is still something we’re trying out, but I would like to,” I said, shutting and locking the door.
The girls all dropped their things in the entryway, jackets on the ground, boots all tossed chaotically, and backpacks dropped randomly. We’d done this yesterday too; I walked them home from the bus and then came inside, only to have them drop everything and walk away.
“Ladies,” I called, staying in the entryway.
They all turned toward me. I tucked my boots under the bench, and hung up my coat on the wall hook, all while raising my brow, hoping they would catch on. Maddy moved first. She picked up her backpack and hung it, then her coat, and put away her boots.
I smiled, watching as the other two fell into line next, copying their older sister.
“Can we have a snack?” Mila asked, tipping those big blue eyes up to me. Her hair had come loose from this morning, but it was still so adorably perfect.
“Yes, I went and picked up a few things from the store.”
I realized yesterday that they had only a few things to snack on, and since I finally had a reason to splurge on kids’ snacks, I went a little crazy.
Yesterday was a great test to see how things would go.
I chickened out on making dinner and instead chose to leave the second Liam came home, but today he’d already texted, asking if I would stay to talk to him.
I think he knew I was trying to dodge him.
I kept our text conversations professional and short, and all the while my stomach flipped when his name popped up on my phone.
I knew I would have to see him when he came home, but I had a plan.
I would stay to talk, but I would let him out of this strange dilemma we’d found ourselves in, where we’d kissed and now he felt obligated to act interested in me.
I put out the apple sauce pouches and string cheese, along with three tiny water bottles, while each girl grabbed a seat and began to fill me on their days. They had so much to say, and so much to tell me, that it was a little overwhelming trying to keep up.
“Jessa Anderson is just always acting so cool. She took my spot in the game during P.E. today, and I can’t believe Mr. Monson allowed it.” Maddy was still going on about the girl she didn’t like.
Seraph was quiet, looking out the window, slowly eating her cheese, pulling one string at a time.
“How about you Seraph, how was your day?”
Her eyes swung to me, a blank expression on her face.
“Fine, we had free reading time today. I liked it, even if I’m not the best reader yet.”
“Want me to do any reading with you?” I offered, working on the chicken marinating in the glass pan. I had bought dinner ingredients, too, but I already had it in my head that I wouldn’t be staying to eat it.
Seraph gave me a small smile with a flushed face. “Sure.”
The rest of the afternoon went by easily as the girls did reading, relaxed, and played Minecraft.
Seraph doodled in her journal, and Maddy did math homework.
I ventured upstairs and helped Mila clean her room and organize her things, until eventually she brought out a huge plastic tub of Barbies and emptied it the living room.
She played while I finished up dinner. Soon we all heard the garage door opening, and I peeked out the curtains to see a big black truck crawling inside.
Their dad entered the house through the attached garage door in the laundry room.
“Daddy!” the girls all yelled in unison, jumping up to run to him.
I stepped out of the kitchen with an apron tied around my waist, watching as each girl wrapped their arms around their dad’s waist. His head dipped, and he watched them as they rattled on and on about their days, and what they had been doing since school ended.
I loved seeing them interact with him.
Then he stepped forward with Mila’s toes on top of his, and those gray eyes were on me.
His heated gaze took in my face, my chest, down to the apron at my hips and my sock-covered toes.
Fire invaded my chest as I watched him draw closer, and I couldn’t help but feel like I needed to fidget or move, so I ducked back into the kitchen, severing the connection.
It was too much.
Especially after the locker room.
A few moments later, Liam entered the kitchen, holding Mila in his arms as she continued to talk about her day.
“Smells good in here,” he said, giving me an earnest smile.
I nodded, pulling the glass dish from the oven.
“I found this recipe and thought maybe it would be nice to try.”
He let Mila down, and she dashed out of the room, leaving us all alone.
“I made some steamed veggies and rolls too.” My eyes stayed on the meal in front of me when I felt him at my back.
His lips came to my ear, whispering.
“You know you don’t have to do this, right? I don’t expect you to cook and clean. This deal wasn’t about that.”
His words rushed through me like cold river water.
Deal.
I moved down the length of the counter to get free of him.
“I know, but I like cooking. It’s no problem.”
I evaded him by opening the fridge. As soon as I tugged out the jam, he pulled on the loop of my jeans until he had me against him.
“You’re being weird.”
His voice came out like a harsh whisper against my ear. My heart thrashed like a trapped animal in my chest, my pulse jumping against my throat.
I placed my palms on his chest and pushed.
“The girls…” My voice came out in a rushed whisper.
His gray eyes searched my face, his fingers tugging on my jeans so that my waist was trapped against his.
“They’re outside right now, in the backyard.”
They were? I hadn’t even noticed they’d gone out. He stepped forward, his fingers still looped through my jeans, so I moved back until my butt hit the counter.
His forehead pressed against mine as my breathing began to come out slow and labored.
“You’re staying tonight.”
He didn’t ask it, just stated it like it was a fact.
Tipping my head back, I opened my mouth to respond but the back door opened, and Mila started yelling.
“I have to pee, but my boots have mud on them! Daddy, hurry!”
Liam grinned and ran out of the kitchen.
I could finally breathe, and even though my fingers shook, I began to set the table and prepare the food. The rolls were perfectly browned and glistened as I brushed them with melted butter. The veggies smelled incredible, and the chicken made my mouth water.
The kids had all made their way inside. I heard Liam tell them to wash their hands, and then all four of them were in the kitchen pulling out chairs and settling in.
“This smells so good,” Mila declared to the room as she stood up on her knees in her seat. Seraph nodded, grabbing a roll. I took my apron off and folded it.
“Okay, I’m going to get going, you guys enjoy dinner.”
Liam’s gaze snapped up, as did Maddy’s, almost at the same time.
“You’re not eating with us?” Mila asked, tilting her head to the side.
The chair slid out across from where Liam sat, his foot pushing it from under the table.
“Sure she is.”
All their eyes were on me, waiting.
Fuck it.
I took a seat, and Liam stole my plate and began piling chicken and veggies onto it.
Maddy handed me a roll, and we all started eating.
Mila launched into a story about a cartoon show, and Seraphina jumped in, adding her two cents.
Maddy was quiet most of the time. Eventually she opened up about her school day and a field trip that would be coming up.
“Have you heard about the grand opening for Davis Brenton’s shop?” I asked the table, but it was obviously mostly for Liam. His jaw clenched as he chewed and then his eyes moved up, meeting mine.
“Can we go?” Mila asked excitedly.