Chapter 19
LIAM
My house smelled completely different.
There was a new picture hanging above the entryway.
It was fashionable, something with barnwood and white cursive writing that boasted about being home and something else I didn’t put the effort into reading.
My eyes moved to the gap above the wall, where green plants now sat in large ceramic pots, at least five of them artfully draped over the ledge.
It added color to my white walls, and so did the blanket ladder… and did she buy a new chair?
Above the couch were four huge canvas photos of my daughters hung in place. One of each girl individually, and the fourth was all of them sitting on an exposed river rock, giggling while the sun caught in each of their hair.
My breath caught, and my nose burned as the reality of missing so much of their lives sank in.
My eyes kept jumping to every little detail the photographer had caught of my kids.
Their smiles, their eyes…their little chubby cheeks.
The coordinating outfits they wore. Maddy and Mila were in pale pink dresses, and Seraph was in a deep burgundy.
I had never had professional photos taken of them.
Lacey and I had some taken before Mila was born…
but nothing on my own, nothing with all three of them.
I coughed to clear away the tightness in my throat and moved so I’d get past the emotion.
The kitchen was different too. New cutting boards, knives…
I opened the cupboard, and a matching dish set was there.
She’d upgraded our chairs and added a new cushioned bench.
Was the table different too? It was a pale gray, modern fashioned to fit the newer style she’d thrown up on the walls in different pictures.
She’d added a huge bulletin board near the pantry door, where each of the girls’ schedule were printed with a colored sticky note system.
I read a few of her notes on the side and smiled.
Drop-off: 8:40
Pick up: 3:25
Groceries:
Little oranges…whatever those are called, just not the big ones. Pop-Tarts, strawberry—check into organic if that’s such a thing, new pens and a new notebook- and fruit roll-ups.
Costco:
chicken, spinach, pasta (the kind Mila loves) toilet paper, zip lock baggies, chicken nuggets (the dinosaur kind), panda snacks (google this—she had no idea how to explain it), healthy snacks, cereal, multi-vitamins, tampons.
I didn’t have a Costco membership, so that must be something new she’d done along with everything else in my kids’ lives.
Part of me was glad she didn’t sit around and wait for permission.
She took the reins and accepted a role I thrust on her with no training or preparation.
I ran my hand through my hair as guilt settled into my chest.
Going up the stairs, I nearly passed Seraph’s room when I paused and walked inside.
Her white walls were all replaced with black chalkboard paint.
Seraph had drawn large murals on nearly every wall.
She had bright curtains and a white comforter to offset the dark colors in the room, and with a few plants and soft lamp lighting, it actually looked really good.
I wandered further down the hall until I reached my room.
Haley’s delicious floral smell was everywhere.
There was another new chair up here, facing the window.
She’d added lilac sheer shades over the large window that looked over the street.
It added color to the room. The bed was also covered in a light lilac feather duvet, and there were four huge pillows where my flat ones used to be, and about fifteen throw pillows. Was this Haley’s favorite color?
At the edge of the bed sat a cushioned bench with a cozy-looking throw blanket. The dresser, where my TV used to sit, was replaced with something larger and the TV was now mounted on the wall.
Who the hell had helped her hang and move all this shit?
There were fresh flowers on the nightstand, lotion, Chapstick, plus a kindle and tablet. On the opposite side of the bed was a little notebook, with a few lines scribbled across the page.
Long talks with Millie
The end of flu season
Allergy medicine
Weddings
Vacuum lines in the carpet
The walking path behind the house
End of day baths that can be taken with wine
What was this list?
It was odd and seemed incredibly random.
I pushed the heels of my palms into my eye sockets and threw myself back onto the bed. What the fuck had I missed?
It felt like I was a stranger looking in on my life, only I wasn’t here anymore and there was no way I’d catch up.
Haley was being elusive, which I wasn’t sure if it was due to the wedding and being stressed, or something else.
She’d come back after the night up with Nora and Rae and went on with business as usual.
The girls were out of school for the week to prepare for the trip, so they were mostly hanging with me at the gym and Haley was busy doing a million different errands for Nora and Rae.
Still, it felt like I was missing something or if I dug deep enough, I would find that she was hiding something.
Maybe I was just messed up because we hadn’t really talked yet.
We’d seen each other in passing, but with the kids around, we hadn’t done more than that, and at night, she was over at her brother’s house.
When I pressed for a reason, it went back to helping Nora with last-minute wedding details that were keeping them up almost all night.
I was sure that was the case. I mean, she had called me late last night, around eleven, and talked to me until she had to go again. She was sweet, even flirtatious, but it didn’t change the gnawing void in my gut that we needed to talk.
I wanted to end this distance shit officially, especially before we went to the wedding. So, I swung the girls by the diner and asked Millie to keep an eye on them for a bit while I tried to catch Haley alone.
She wasn’t answering her text messages, so I tried Colson’s house first. She wasn’t there, so I headed home. Her car was in the garage, but when I walked in, she wasn’t around.
“Haley?” I yelled, but she didn’t reply.
Must be upstairs.
I was about to run up when her cell phone dinged with a new message. I looked down, seeing that it was right next to me on the kitchen counter. I wouldn’t normally ever invade her privacy, but in this case…
I tapped in her code and cradled the phone, swiping open her text messages.
Jeffery:
Did we agree to meet here, or over there?
Then another message came through.
Jeffery:
I know you’re eager to get this wood up *winky face*
What. In. The. Actual. Fuck.
She ran down the stairs a moment later, all bubbly and happy.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were here. Are you alone?”
I held up the phone, feeling every inch the jilted boyfriend, about to make a scene.
“Want to tell me what the fuck this is about?”
Her steps slowed as she focused on the phone in my hand. Slowly a line formed between her eyebrows as she gently took the phone from my hand.
“Oh this…it’s nothing.”
She set the phone down on the counter and moved around me.
“Are you packed, and did you by chance download the airline app on your phone so they can just scan your ticket?”
I already had it on my phone.
She spun on her heel and tilted her head. “And I know you think you already have the app, but this is a different airline.”
“Haley, why is Jeffery Akers asking if you’re meeting here and why the fuck is he referencing wood getting up?”
She let out a sigh but didn’t answer me.
I didn’t have the energy for this shit.
“You want to fuck him, then go. If you think you can. I warned you what I would do if you wanted someone else.”
Her head snapped up, eyes wide and her mouth parted. “Wait, what?”
I threw my arms wide. “Isn’t that what the fuck this is about?”
My nose was burning again, and I fucking hated the sensation. I felt like was going to lose her again. And hadn’t I lost her for nine weeks while she played this stupid fucking game of building a foundation? All for what? So she could fuck Jeffery Akers on top of it?
I turned and was ready to leave but Haley grabbed my forearm, stopping me.
“Liam. Oh my gosh, that’s not at all what’s going on. Jeffery was going to help me pick out the right wood for an extra shelf in your office. I saw that you came back with a few new trophies, and I thought it would be nice to have a place to display them. I was trying to surprise you.”
Her eyes went soft, like this would magically fix everything, but it did the opposite.
A scoff left me as I gripped the edge of the counter and tried to regain composure, but it wasn’t working. There was a tornado in my chest.
“So he’s the one who’s helped you with all this stuff?” I lifted my eyes, and Haley looked up at the large picture frame on the wall.
The blush that followed told me I was right.
“The dresser, chairs, pictures…” I watched as she took a step back, lowering her face.
It hit me. “Seraph’s room?”
Tucking a few loose strands of that silky hair away, she lifted her chin.
“We’re just friends, Liam. He helped me while you were—"
“Fuck, Haley!” I snapped, throwing a magazine we’d gotten in the mail across the room.
“So while I was away, giving us distance and space for the foundation you wanted, you were here playing house with him? Replacing everything in my house like it’s your own.
Not asking me a single time for my input, much less my permission!
We spoke every night, it’s not like you couldn’t get a hold of me, or like I just left you. ”
Her face grew determined as she stepped forward.
“Liam, come on, you know me better than that. He helped me hang and move a few things, that’s it.
And as far as the rest—you did leave me.
You left all of us. And yes, over the past nine weeks, I made this place feel like my home because that’s what it became.
If you have a problem with it, then change it. ”
With her face drawn in tight, she waited for me to respond, but I didn’t even know what to say, so I stormed off and slammed the door behind me.