Chapter 12 Haley
HALEY
The ride up the mountain was quiet.
Liam had come home late, and I was too exhausted to question him. Our morning started bright and early at six in the morning with a wide-awake baby, and our annual tree hunting tradition.
The girls were beyond excited, and I couldn’t blame them.
I went for the first-time last December, and nearly cried from how beautiful the mountain was: covered in snow with the tips of evergreen trees poking through the vast winter wonderland.
It was magical, and I couldn’t wait to do it again.
It was one of the joint traditions I wanted to keep and didn’t mind in the slightest to share it with everyone else.
“Hey look, there’s Uncle Cole and Aunt Nora!” Seraph yelled from the back seat. We’d set out for the mountain behind my brother and Nora, but halfway through, we’d lost them and were just now catching up once more. This year, the weather was dreadfully worse than the one I experienced last year.
Clouds covered the sky, wiping out every trace of the sun.
Snow had begun to fall in large clumps the higher in altitude we climbed.
An unsettled nervousness began to thrum inside my rib cage as the roads began to slick, and our SUV began to struggle.
Liam placed the vehicle in four-wheel drive, which helped, but now we were driving at a snail’s pace behind Cole and Nora.
I was assuming Rae and Davis were in front of them, but I couldn’t be sure.
My thoughts drifted to the call last night, and how happy I was to hear my friends’ voices over the phone.
It was so silly. We saw each other frequently, but because we hadn’t been texting one another, or talking, it made me feel like we hadn’t actually talked in ages.
I missed laughing with them and cracking inside jokes.
More than anything, I just missed how fun Christmas felt last year compared to this one.
Which, I knew most of that was my fault because of how hard I pushed for my own traditions, but was it too late to back out?
Was it too late to go back in time and fix what I’d done to push them away?
“We’re here!” Maddy exclaimed excitedly. She slid her headphones off and unbuckled while our vehicle crawled to a stop.
“Mads, keep it on until we park, please,” Liam warned, catching her eye in the rearview mirror.
She blushed, but within seconds, she was exiting the car and running toward Cole and Nora’s vehicle.
The location Rae and Davis picked this year was a little easier for us to maneuver because of the babies. There was less hiking and snowshoeing required, and the snow wasn’t nearly as high.
Shutting my door, I adjusted the beanie on my head before ensuring Mila and Seraph were appropriately bundled. Maddy was old enough now that she took care of herself. I turned to catch Liam pulling Jaime out of his car seat and setting him up in his cute little winter suit.
Rae and Davis began walking over, their two huskies already had their noses to the ground, searching the area.
Davis carried their son Ben on his back, wearing a thick winter suit, and parka with a fur-lined hood.
His little chubby baby face was the cutest thing; it made my heart swell as his little blue eyes landed on me.
“Oh my gosh,” I gushed, walking closer, “how is it possible they look so cute in these little winter suits?”
Rae rounded Davis, clutching her son’s little hand. “I know, right? They look like little models for winter magazines. Oh my gosh, we have to see the twins.”
We both turned, heading for Nora and Colson. Colson had a double pack: one baby was against his chest and the other was on his back.
“Awwwwww,” Rae started, picking up Kane’s little gloved hand. I moved to Tarryn and gushed over his adorable blond locks that fell over his forehead. Nora popped into view a moment later.
“I am dying over these outfits.”
Rae and I both joined in agreement and then the men began walking toward the tree line. Rae, Nora and I pulled sleds behind us. My sled carried Seraph and Mila, and the other two carried the various tools we’d need to chop down our Christmas trees.
We stuck close to the entry point, because of the babies and kids, but it worked.
There were several large trees to choose from.
As we each worked to find the tree that would fit our family best, we’d swap out holding the babies.
At one point, we set up all the camping chairs around a roaring fire along with a mini hot cocoa station.
Mila, Seraph and Maddy were with Liam, working on picking the perfect tree, while I nursed Jaime in the camping chair.
Nora had Tarryn and Kane drinking from bottles in their car seats, each one propped up in a chair, covered with blankets to keep the cold out.
Rae had Ben attached to her breast, and the three of us sat in a peaceful silence that stretched for far too long.
I thought of my earlier ruminations, about going back and trying to fix what we’d done to hurt one another.
I wanted to fix it all; I just wasn’t sure how.
It all bubbled in my chest until I finally burst.
“So, are we ever going to talk about it?”
Rae peered over first, adjusting her son so that he was being burped, and she was covered. “Talk about what?”
“The competition and how it’s tearing us apart?” Nora asked, raising her eyebrow at us.
I laughed nervously. “Yeah, that.”
Rae let out a heavy sigh. “You guys feel it too?”
“I almost cried when you guys called me last night. I mean, I knew Nora was calling, but I didn’t actually believe it until I heard her voice. Then you spoke up too and I nearly lost it. I miss you guys,” I confessed softly.
“I miss you guys too,” Nora admitted, her gaze flicking over to Rae where our friend was biting her lip as though she were thinking of what to say.
When she didn’t say anything at all, Nora and I traded glances briefly.
“Rae?”
She finally met our stares and hiked her son up higher on her shoulder.
“So this is the play then? You guys double-team me, make me feel guilty, and try and convince me to drop out?”
Nora’s eyes narrowed on her friend. “What is wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me? What is wrong with you?” She started patting her son’s back brisk but soft. As if tension had slid into her movements.
Snow began to fall again, this time the flakes were so big that they soaked whatever they touched. I covered Jaime’s head with the blanket and watched the fire to ensure it didn’t go out.
“We aren’t planning anything, Rae. We genuinely miss you, and I know you miss us too. Why do you keep pushing for this?” Nora scolded, glaring over at Rae. The two were in a standoff, with determined faces and grim expressions.
The snow was falling so hard, it was difficult to see past our little group.
“Guys, I can’t see our families.” I tentatively stood, holding Jaime to my chest. Rae and Nora stopped arguing and raised from their chairs, turning toward the tree line.
Nora blinked furiously, trying to keep the snow out of her eyes, but it was no use.
“Oh my gosh, this is bad. Where are they?” Rae asked, holding the blanket over Ben’s head.
I looked down and saw that the fire was staring to sputter out.
“We need to get in the cars, this snow is too wet.” I started for the SUV, grateful that Liam had left the keys with me.
“Cole took our keys.” Nora groaned, carrying her two car seats toward my car.
Rae joined her. “Davis too.”
“Come on, let’s get inside.” I got into the driver’s seat and started the engine, blasting the heat, while Rae and Nora settled into the captain’s chairs in the back.
“I’m freaking out a little. Do you think they can make their way back?” I asked, a little nervous and unsure as I stared out the windshield. The snow had covered it, so I pressed the wipers to clear the glass, only to be blocked out again by another batch of heavy snow.
Rae settled Ben against her chest while reclining the smallest bit. “Davis will know how to navigate in this. He’s done it a million times. Plus, he has the dogs, and they have a good sense of making it back to safety. If the girls get cold, he’ll have the dogs get between them.”
“Cole is pretty comfortable in the snow too. I’m just glad they didn’t have the babies with them.”
Easy for them to say, my entire family was out there, including my three girls.
I was worried that they were scared or cold, and I hated this feeling festering in my chest like a cyclone of insecurity.
I knew we were safe inside the car; I had no doubt about that, but I wanted my husband and kids back, safe and sound.
My frustration over the competition was long forgotten as I watched the sky darken, and the fire we’d abandoned completely go out.