Chapter Thirteen
We parked my car at the end spot of the motel wing—the single-door ding spot.
“Thanks for driving it here. You were much better this time.”
“Maybe it is like riding a bicycle, and by the third outing, I’ll be a pro.”
“A fixologist, a squirrel whisperer, and a stick driver. You really are the Jeremy of all trades.” I grinned as I spoke.
Jeremy’s smile hadn’t faltered since leaving the lodge, and dare I say, there was even a hint of a spring in his steps.
He exited my car and helped me onto my feet.
“Watch your step,” he said, pointing to the curb that had unended my life last night. What a wild day it had been.
“That’s the Molly Down curb of shame.” I shook my head and gave it a wide berth as I walked toward my door.
“What’s on your agenda for tonight?”
I unlocked my door and opened it, allowing the evening sun to penetrate the space and brighten it. “I think I’m going to relax. Maybe go to sleep early.”
“No headache? Or anything out of the ordinary?”
I shook my head. “No. Just achiness in the arm.”
“That’s to be expected. Give it time.” He rocked back and forth and thrust his hands into the pocket of his hoodie.
“I will. Thank you for being with me today. I really enjoyed it, and I learned lots too.”
“So did I.” The slight wrinkles in the corner of his eyes crinkled with his smile. “So tomorrow…”
“Yeah?”
“I like to arrive at the Coffee Loft for—”
“Ten-fifteen on the nose.” He was my gold standard regular.
“Exactly. And Google says it’ll take us fifty-one minutes to walk there, so if you’d like to join me, I’ll be leaving here at nine twenty-four.” He held his breath while waiting for an answer, and then slowly let it out. “But I know it’s a long walk, so I’m okay to go it alone.”
I scanned my room and spotted my running shoes. “No way, I’ll join you. It’s the least I can do for all you’ve done for me. I was just trying to figure out what time to set my alarms for.”
“Great. I’d like the company.” He licked his lips. “Well, I’ll let you get some rest. If you need anything at all, I left my number on the table for you. Please call me. For anything. Like you need a tea bag, or you can’t figure out what twelve down is.”
“Did you leave a crossword puzzle too?” A smile tugged on my lips, especially when he didn’t answer. “Sounds good, thank you.”
Hesitantly, he stepped back. Was he as reluctant to go as I was?
“Well, goodnight, Jeremy.”
“Goodnight, Molly.”
Although I really didn’t want to, I closed the door, sighing and leaning against it.
* * *
My first alarm went off, and then the second. It was on the third that I finally shot up. Another night of a weird mix of failed relationships, all culminating in some sort of bizarre nightmare dream sequences. I was getting tired of this.
“Oh beans,” I gasped, jumping out of bed. I had less than half an hour to ready myself, have a quick bite to eat, and meet Jeremy at the office. That wasn’t much.
My elbow was sporting a ghastly, deep purple tinge and it protested heavily when I tried to stretch it out which made showering an epic feat. It’s amazing how much I took for granted having two working arms, as simple tasks like toweling my hair and getting dressed proved to be incredibly time-consuming. However, by nine-twenty, I was dressed, with a smattering of makeup on, and staring at my runners wondering how the heck I was going to get them tied.
Leaving them untied, I locked up and motored over to the motel office just as Jeremy was exiting. His whole face lit right up as if a stage light was pointed at him. It made the butterflies in my gut take flight, which really surprised me.
“Top of the morning to you.” He strode over, his expression falling fast. “What’s wrong?”
I stared down at my shoes, my shoulders falling as much as my spirits. “I can’t tie them, and I hate to ask, but can you do them up for me?”
A slow nod greeted me as he dropped to one knee. “My pleasure.”
He took his time, fingers moving with practiced ease as he looped and tied, pulling just the right amount of tightness into the laces. His head was close enough to smell the faint scent of the forest clinging to his hoodie, mingling with the hint of coffee on his breath. My heart fluttered at the intimacy of such a simple act. Why did this feel… different? Special?
“All good?” he asked, looking up at me with those soft, crinkled eyes of his.
I nodded quickly, heat rushing to my face. “Yeah, thank you. Just one more thing?” I gestured to my unzipped jacket. “Would you mind zipping it up?”
He stood, taking the travel mug I’d been clutching in my good arm. “For you. It’s a bold dark roast with a hint of milk. Nothing fancy since I lack the frother and steamers.”
“You made it, so I’ll enjoy it,” he said, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
Jeremy tugged the zipper and its mate away from my body, his touch gentle, careful, and so maddeningly precise that my pulse quickened. When his fingers brushed my chin ever so slightly as he zipped it up halfway, something in my chest shifted.
My breath hitched. Why was I noticing so much about him? His steady hands, his warm gaze, the quiet way he stepped back like this was just a normal morning. For me, it didn’t feel normal at all. My mind spun with a startling clarity that left me feeling exposed.
Jeremy isn’t just being kind—he’s kindness personified . He isn’t just helping—he’s making me feel seen. And maybe I liked being seen. Liked him seeing me.
“Shall we?” Glancing at his watch, he waved me to start walking.
The morning air was fresh and slightly crisp, perfect for a long morning walk.
He pointed out the baskets on the island and which flowers he’d planned to plant. As we continued to the edge of the property, he spoke highly of the trees, of playing hide and seek with the visitor’s kids, and how there used to be a park near the grove of trees but it was torn down a few years ago for safety reasons.
“About what your grandma said yesterday,” I started.
“About my mom?”
“Yeah. I’m curious, but you don’t have to tell me. It just conflicts with what you told me.”
We left the property and turned onto Highway 93A. Thankfully, as it was a secondary highway, there wasn’t a lot of traffic. We stuck to the shoulder, the gravel crunching beneath our feet.
A world-weary sigh escaped his stronghold. “My mother was a single mother, and although she did the best she could, she wasn’t great. She ignored me and left me to do my own thing, so by eight, I knew my neighbourhood well, as we lived in the city. Whatever her reasons were, as I never learned any of them, she just never came home one night after work. A few phone calls were made, and finally, her employer admitted how she’d quit and was moving her family to BC.” His shoulders slumped and there was no feeling in his words. “But it was just her and a boyfriend I never knew about. She’d left me behind without a care in the world.”
I pocketed my travel mug and gave his arm a rub and a pat. “I’m so sorry.”
“My father was located, and he was granted custody of me, but sadly he wasn’t great either.”
My heart ached, and I desperately wanted to hold him tight.
“But he wasn’t abusive or anything, just neglectful. He’d had twin newborn daughters by that point and they consumed his attention. I was invisible. Over the years with him, I’d written letters to my grandma here at the lodge, and every summer I’d come out and help somehow. After high school was a bust, I thanked my father and stepmother for their help, bid my sisters well and I left, packing up the few things I had in my car and making my way out here. Grandma set me up on the couch in her suite until I was earning enough money working for the town to afford my own place. Was really hard to beat the rental price she offered, so I moved into room 20, and when she needed more help than I could give her, I took over her suite, which, incidentally, was named after all the honeysuckle plants there used to be on that wall.”
The end room on the south wing on the second level.
“Gosh, I am so sorry for your upbringing.”
He shrugged. “It’s all good now. It’s made me who I am.”
Lest I fall out on the highway, I kept my focus on the gravelly shoulder. “Isn’t it wild how something less than ideal can shape you into an amazing human being?”
A low laugh breezed out as he shoulder-bumped me. “You think I’m amazing?”
Since I wasn’t prepared for that, I double-stepped to the left and started to lose my footing. Before I could stumble any further, his arm shot out, snaking around me with practiced ease. He pulled me close, so close I could feel the steady strength in his hold.
Heat scalded my cheeks, rising so fast it felt like I might combust. My breath hitched as my thoughts ran wild.
We were face-to-face.
A breath’s distance apart.
His warm, steady breath mingled with mine, and I swore the world had narrowed to just this: his hand firm on my waist, his chest brushing mine, the sudden awareness of how solid and real he felt against me. I was certain he could hear the pounding of my heart—it was so loud, so insistent, I couldn’t ignore it myself.
“Yeah, I do,” I replied softly.
My eyes darted to his lips before I could stop myself. They hovered close enough to kiss, and for one reckless second, I thought he might. My toes curled in my shoes, half in anticipation, half in panic.
“I think you’re amazing too. Always have.” His voice was calm and steady, but his eyes lingered on mine in a way that made my stomach flip. Then he leaned a fraction closer, and I froze. The moment hung heavy in the air, stretched taut as a violin string.
Then, just as quickly, it snapped. He wrapped me tightly in his arms, pressing his head into the curve of my neck.
A semi-truck and trailer whizzed by; its roar breaking the spell like a cold splash of water.
The realization hit me like that truck might have if Jeremy hadn’t pulled me back. He wasn’t leaning in to kiss me. He was shielding me—from what? The spray of loose gravel? The wind? The world ?
I was an idiot to even think it was anything else. A hopelessly romantic, absurd idiot. And why had I thought about it? Jeremy wasn’t my type. He didn’t check a single box on my mental list of Ideal Boyfriend Traits. So why was my heart still racing like a trapped bird? Why did I feel more off-kilter in his arms than I had when I nearly tripped?
His arms loosened, and I stumbled back onto my feet, trying to recover some semblance of dignity. My head, however, was still miles above me, spinning in clouds of things I couldn’t name, much less understand.
We resumed walking as if nothing had happened. He shoved his hands casually into his pockets, his stride easy, as if holding me like that was as natural to him as breathing. Maybe it was. Maybe to him, it really wasn’t a big deal.
But I couldn’t stop reliving the moment, replaying the way his eyes had softened, the heat of his hand on my waist, the way I’d hoped for something I didn’t even know I wanted. Maybe I was imagining things, or maybe Jeremy was the greatest actor I’d ever met. Hollywood needed to watch his performance. Holy beans, I needed to figure out what role I was playing in this bizarre little drama.
With my head out of the clouds and my feet back on solid ground, I shook my head, trying to remember where we’d been in conversation before. Oh right. I cleared my throat and focused on the road ahead of us.
“You know, we had such different upbringings. I led such a sheltered life next to you, where someone was always hovering over me. What I wouldn’t have given for a little privacy. I didn’t even share anything in a diary because I was so afraid someone would read it.” Or share it online. I didn’t even have my own personal social media accounts, just those that my team thought they needed on my behalf. Holly Gaudreau was a brand.
“Wow.”
“Right? Sounds like we each wanted what the other had.”
He kicked at a rock, sending it far off into the forest. “Well, I’m pretty sure you didn’t want to be a ghost.”
“And I’m pretty sure you didn’t want every little thing documented.” It was so invasive. Nothing was secret. My friends were vetted for me and my classes chosen. I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without someone being notified.
“So why did you leave?”
“I wanted a different life. One that I controlled.”
“And I totally understand that.”
“I believe you do.”
* * *
We arrived at the Coffee Loft, and it was strange for me to be entering as a customer. Mondays were my day off anyway, so I wouldn’t even normally have darkened the doorway, but still. It was weird.
Jeremy held the door open as we entered.
“It’s a brewtiful day, Molly. Welcome back. How are you feeling?” Annie was chipper and practically bouncing on her toes.
“I’m better today, thanks. Still super sore, and I can’t move my arm much.”
“Aww, that’s too bad.” She twisted toward Elliot, who was busy refilling the display case with fresh pastries. “Are you starting right away?”
I shook my head. “Today’s my day off. Thought I’d join Jeremy for a coffee.” I tried to be as nonchalant as could be, but before he pulled his head back, Elliot had given me a raised brow look, his gaze darting between me and Jeremy. “He’ll have his regular—a flat white made with whole milk and one pump of hazelnut in the Snoopy and Woodstock mug, with a chocolate knot on the side.” I turned to Jeremy, feeling a little like I’d overstepped. “Right?”
He nodded. “Perfect.”
Whew, I breathed again. “And I’ll have a maple twist macchiato with a bear claw please.”
Annie typed in the order, and I paid before Jeremy could protest. “My treat. As a thank you for everything.”
“You didn’t need to do that.”
“I feel like I do.” I pointed out his spot. “Let’s sit.”
We set our travel mugs on the table. His mug was completely empty, whereas I still had a few gulps left. They didn’t hold the heat as well so the coffee cooled rather quickly.
He unzipped his jacket, pulled out a pencil and a crossword puzzle, and placed his folded coat on the chair next to him. I did the same, only I struggled more taking my coat off.
Jeremy sat in his spot with his back against the wall, and I sat across from him, my back to the rest of the shop. I had to admit, it was a little unnerving. No wonder he preferred to look out. I had no idea what was going on behind me.
“I’m curious, what do you do after your ritual coffee and donut routine?”
His gaze dropped to the tabletop. “I run some errands.”
“Oh yeah? You stopping by the grocery mart?”
“No.” He slid the crossword in front of him and started to fill in the answers.
Annie called out our order and Jeremy jumped up to go grab it. Normally I would’ve done it, but with my one arm out of commission, I would’ve struggled and I hated that I needed him to do it. I’d come so far in being independent, and this was a real set-back. A minor one, but still.
Jeremy unloaded the coffee and treats and slipped back into his seat. There was a long, heavy sigh. “Every day after I finish here, I go to the elementary school, and from eleven-fifteen until eleven-forty-five I help out in the grade five classroom, most specifically with spelling lists and reading.”
“You do?”
He glanced up. “Crazy, right?”
I reached across the table and put my hand on his. “I think it’s awesome. You’re giving back to the community and such a great way to do it. I bet those kids are excited when you show up.”
That perked him up. “They are. There’s this one b—, I mean child,” he scanned the area and lowered his voice, choosing his words carefully. “That student hadn’t had the best upbringing, and don’t tell the teacher, but when we work together on Wednesdays, we do more chatting than schoolwork. D’s a cool kid. Likes to build things.” He took a bite of his chocolate knot.
My heart melted. Of course, after hearing about Jeremy’s own childhood, naturally, he would connect with a kid who was going through something similar.
“They’re lucky to have you. That student will always treasure the warmth and nurturing you’re giving him.” I set my hand on his.
“You think so?”
“I know so.” They say not all heroes wear capes, and Jeremy was proof of that. “Can I help out?”
“Do you have a security clearance? It’s required to volunteer with the school.”
I pursed my lips together. “No.”
“Then sadly, I’ll have to take you home before I go.”
My shoulders rounded in and sagged. It would be neat to be involved in something like that and to make a difference in someone’s life. “Well, I’d hate for you to make a trip there and back, so if it’s okay with you, I have a few things I need to pick up. I could meet you in front of the school for when you’re done?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Besides, I need to find some clothing options for the trivia night tomorrow.” I winked. “You’re dressing up, right?”
“I have something in mind.”
“Do you think we should match? Are we going as a couple, or as individuals?”
He rubbed his beard. “I hadn’t really thought about it.”
“Oh?” I chastised myself for once again reading more into the situation. We had agreed to be each other’s date for different events, but that didn’t mean anything. He was just fulfilling the role of fake boyfriend to help me make Derek jealous so Derek would take me back, but Jeremy was good at making me believe. Almost better than the professional actors I’d worked with.
“Maybe we should go as a couple?”
Ideas ran through my head and I tried to come up with a couple that wasn’t as well known, but I had nothing. “So Han and Leia? Or Padma and Anakin?”
He crinkled his face at the last coupling.
“Fine, we can do Han and Leia. They’re the more superior couple anyway.”
And that worked for me as it was easiest for me to throw together an outfit. The hair, on the other hand, was going to be a problem.
Elliot and Sage exited the office and stopped by our table.
“How are you doing, Molly?”
“Better. Sore, but I think the concussion is wearing off.”
Elliot stood by Sage’s side. “I’m happy to hear that. You gave us quite the scare yesterday.”
“I’m so sorry about that.” I hunched even deeper into myself and pulled my good arm close. How scary that had to have been to have watched. It was super embarrassing for me as I’d never fainted before.
“Hey, Sage.” I twisted in my seat, swallowing down a lump of shame. “After work tomorrow, do you think you could help me do my hair? There’s a costume party and I am unable to do what I need. I could come to the bookstore to make it easier for you.”
“You’re working tomorrow?”
“Yes?” I looked at Elliot. Originally, I had been on the schedule, unless it had been changed since Saturday.
Elliot cleared his throat. “I thought Nina talked to you?”
“No.” Oh gosh, I was being let go, wasn’t I?
“If you have a minute, we can talk in my office.”
Inhaling sharply, I suddenly couldn’t move. “It’s okay if you tell me out here.”
Jeremy covered my hand, giving it a little squeeze.
Elliot slid a chair over. “Nina’s started the paperwork. Under your benefits package, you’re entitled to time off for injury. Mind you, it’s 80% of your pay, but it’ll give you time to heal.”
The second Elliot’s suggestion left his lips— ’Maybe take some time off? ’—a knot tightened in my stomach. I didn’t respond right away. Instead, I traced the edge of the coffee mug in front of me, my finger running over the imperfections in the lip of the glaze. Time off. As if this was some kind of vacation.
I forced a laugh, though it came out dry. “Time off. Sure. I’ve always wanted to sit around doing nothing.”
But the bitterness in my voice betrayed me.
Elliot’s eyebrows twitched in concern, but he didn’t push. He never did, and maybe that was part of the problem. No one was telling me what I was supposed to do now—no orders, no deadlines, no game plans. Just endless, unstructured hours stretching out like a desert, with no clue what direction to start walking.
“Think about it,” he said gently, before turning back to his work.
Think about it? I had nothing but time to think lately. Too much time. Time to feel the ache in my elbow that never quite went away. Time to stare at the ceiling and wonder if this was it—if I was going to be stuck in limbo forever, caught between what I used to be and whatever waited for me on the horizon.
The sound of Elliot tapping on the iPad pulled me back to the present. I wrapped my hands around the mug, letting its warmth seep into my palms as I stared out the window. The sky was a washed-out gray, clouds rolling across it like they were trying to outrun something.
Maybe that’s all I’d ever been doing—running.
But what if Elliot was right? What if time off wasn’t just a void to fill but a chance to figure out who I could be without the safety net of work? The thought made my chest feel tight like I was teetering on the edge of something too big to name.
I looked back at Elliot, who was focused on his laptop, his face lit faintly by the screen. He wasn’t pushing me. He never pushed. But maybe—just maybe—I needed someone to. Or maybe I needed to push myself.