Chapter 36
Inej opened her eyes. The pain had dulled to a whisper, a shadow of what it had been. Worse, though, was the realization that she was alive. She had accepted her death, welcomed it, even. No one had asked if she wanted to be healed. They had done it without her permission.
Her anger was swift as she rolled to her side and pushed herself up to see if she was alone.
The ire turned to fury when she realized that she was in Manu’s bed.
Hot tears rolled down her cheeks. She’d had a simple life in Belanore.
It hadn’t been great, but at least she hadn’t worried about being killed.
Or having to take Manu’s life.
She dashed at her tears, but more came—as if a floodgate had been opened.
She tucked her legs against herself and dropped her head into her hands, giving herself a moment to let it all out before lifting her head and drying her eyes.
She had gotten herself into this mess, and she would find a way out.
Inej cautiously slipped her legs over the side of the bed and stood.
She was weak, but not so much that she couldn’t stand on her own.
She grimaced when she found she was still in the clothes she had been wearing when she was attacked.
It looked like someone had cleaned off some of the dried blood, but she would feel better after a long soak.
Once she started the water in the tub, she walked to the mirror and looked at herself.
The person staring back at her might have her same features, but she felt different now.
Was it because she had come so close to death?
It was like she had aged a hundred years since leaving Belanore and crossing the Dangerous Peaks.
Where once she had been so certain, she was now doubtful and indecisive of everything and everyone.
She could no longer tell what was the truth and what was a lie—if she ever could.
The urge to leave, to run away and act as if none of this had ever happened, was strong. That was the simplest way, but she would regret it later. As strange as it seemed, she liked Navara. She had found a place for herself. Well, aside from the fact that someone wanted her dead.
Inej slipped out of her clothes and into the water.
The last time she had been here was with Manu.
She didn’t know where he was, but if she was in his room, then he must have brought her.
He would return. That would bring discussions about who had attacked her, and the continuation of the conversation they’d begun before he was called away.
Her hand moved across the steamy water as she reclined. She wanted to believe that Manu was the elf he had shown her. She could easily imagine what their life could be like if he were. Her moving into his home and becoming his wife. They might even raise a child or two.
But always in the back of her mind, she would fear that he might discover why she’d really come to his city. And when he did, everything they had built together would be ripped apart. She wouldn’t survive that.
She could come clean and tell him everything.
He might kill her, lock her away, or send her away—after he got all the information from her, of course.
Whether he was the monster she’d first thought him to be, or the elf she hoped he was, his first and foremost concern was the safety of his people. He would sever all ties with her.
Or…she could do what she had come to do. She could feed him the poison without knowing if she had the correct villain. She’d never make it out of the mountains—if she even got free of the city. Jalall would hunt her down and kill her the moment he found Manu’s body.
In every scenario, she ended up hurting, and either alone or dead.
She slipped beneath the surface to wet her hair and then came up for air. She took her time cleaning herself. The wounds were healed, but they were still very tender. Every movement taxed her. When she finished, she drained the water and rose to dry off.
There were no clothes for her, so she searched Manu’s wardrobe and found one of his shirts, slipping it on. At least she would be clean and covered for whoever walked through the door. She sank onto the foot of the bed and used his comb to begin the arduous task of detangling her hair.
She had come close to death three times now, which was three times too many for her.
She couldn’t do a fourth. It was too much emotionally to accept and sort through in the aftermath.
If they had let her die, she wouldn’t be faced with the decisions before her now.
There wasn’t a good answer, no matter how she looked at it.
Gita must have been blind to think she was capable of carrying out this undercover work.
Granted, she had been right about Inej getting into Navara, but not about the rest. Inej was tired of being deceitful and finding ways to talk around things so she didn’t outright lie.
But an omission was still a falsehood. She was just tired of it all.
She smoothed the comb through her hair one final time before she returned it to its place.
As she turned away, Manu’s shirt brushed the healing flesh of her abdomen.
She faced the mirror and lifted the garment to reveal the jagged, pink flesh.
All of her wounds were sensitive and tender, but the one on her abdomen was more so.
Her fingers loosened, and the shirt fell back into place, covering the injury.
She tried to remember the attack, but her memories were fuzzy.
Had she heard something? She must have, because she’d turned around.
She couldn’t recollect a face, clothing, or even a voice.
They had struck her three times, which could only mean they had come for her.
Could it have been Chanda? Or Tahmine? Or was it someone else? Inej may never find out, which was disturbing. She could stand next to her assailant and never know.
She turned away from the mirror and peered around the room. Manu’s space. His sanctuary. She saw him everywhere her eyes landed, and feared that she would always feel him, no matter where she went.
Her gaze stopped at the window. She slowly made her way over, ensuring that she couldn’t be seen from below.
Nothing seemed out of place in the city.
Everyone was going about their days as usual.
Was that because her attacker had been caught?
Or because they didn’t care that someone had tried to end her life?
Inej tried to see the candy shop from the window, but it would require her to get closer.
An elf had tried to kill her, and she wasn’t ready to show herself to a city full of them just yet.
Her gaze then slid to Jalall’s home. She observed the outside, thinking about the layout of the residence, when she saw a familiar figure striding toward the house.
Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of Manu shrugging out of his coat, covered in snow and ice.
He raked a hand through his dark hair, dislodging more snow.
She waited for him to look in her direction, but he was in conversation with Jalall as they hurriedly walked through the front door.
She spun around and scanned the room. How long until he came home?
She didn’t want him to know that she had seen him.
Did she get back into bed? Maybe sit in the chair and pretend to read?
Would someone who had almost died do that?
She looked down at her bare legs. He might be at Jalall’s to get her some clothes.
Finally, she decided on the chair. Yet the moment she sat, she couldn’t get comfortable.
She tried tucking her legs against herself, then crossed one over the other, but nothing felt right.
She was nervous, and that made everything worse.
The chair wouldn’t do. She rose and returned to the bed, sitting on the edge with her hands clutched.
She had no idea what she would say when she saw Manu.
Her pulse kicked up the moment she heard someone outside. Hope bloomed, fierce and reckless, as she stared at the door, willing it to be him. But when it opened, it was Chanda who filled the doorway. Something inside her quietly shattered.
The elf tossed clothes onto the bed. “Get dressed. Manu wants to talk to you.”
Inej had never been modest. Women all had the same parts, just in different shapes. But something about Chanda’s appearance—and tone—rubbed her the wrong way. Inej kept her irritable comments to herself as she stared at the elf.
Chanda crossed her arms over her chest and stared back, her black eyes flashing dangerously.
Defiance flared within Inej as she lifted Manu’s shirt over her head and laid it on the bed.
If the elf wanted to see her body, Inej would give her a show.
She didn’t notice the coat until she reached for the clothes.
Apprehension curdled her stomach. Had Manu learned who she was? Was he sending her away?
“Are we going somewhere?” Inej asked.
“I’m simply doing as Manu wants.”
Inej dressed, surprised by the fur-lined boots.
They were another confirmation that she was leaving the city.
She grabbed the coat and waited. Chanda rolled her eyes and motioned for her to follow.
They walked wordlessly from the room. Inej wanted to know where they were going, but Chanda wouldn’t tell her.
She cut the elf a side-eye, wondering if she was the one who had attacked her.
They didn’t run into a single person as they left the manor through a side exit, but even then, Chanda didn’t take her toward Jalall’s. Instead, they headed in the direction of the waterfall. Every step felt definitive, as if her time were ending.
Chanda easily maneuvered the steep steps hidden by the manor while Inej fought to keep up.
The climb was short but strenuous after her healing.
Suddenly, Chanda pushed her into a narrow tunnel.
The elf stayed right behind her, making sure Inej didn’t attempt to run off. Not that she would know where to go.
“What is this place?” Inej asked after several minutes in the dark tunnel.
“An escape in case the city is ever invaded. Only the leader’s family knows of it.”
“But you aren’t Manu’s family.”
Chanda chuckled, which was reply enough.
The floor dipped and rose beneath her feet as they wound their way through it.
Inej kept her hands on the walls to either side of her to guide herself.
Twice, she jabbed a finger into a protruding rock.
She wanted out of the tight space and into the light, even if that meant going into the elements.
But why was Manu taking her from Navara? Had he discovered the poison? Did he know Gita had sent her? The thought that he had saved her, only to deliver a death blow, made her sick to her stomach.
“Go,” Chanda bit out, shoving her from behind when Inej slowed.
She picked up her pace again. What was she to do against an elf? “Where are you taking me?”
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
The cold smashed into her like a wall, stealing her breath.
She heard the wind howling faintly as fingers of light seeped into the darkness.
Her teeth began to chatter, and she clenched her jaw tightly, refusing to let Chanda hear the fear rattling her bones.
Because it was fear. Raw, bone-deep terror.
The elf shoved her forward again, driving her the last few feet into the swirling snow. Inej fumbled to fasten the long coat, her fingers stiff. She wrapped her arms around her middle and curled her hands into fists for more warmth. How had she forgotten how the wind cut through everything?
Chanda stayed at her back, silent but ever-present, forcing her onward.
Inej sank into the thick snow, the cold biting through the fur of her boots.
She dared a glance behind her. There was no time to think about what to do.
It seemed the decision was out of her hands.
Someone had made it for her. She focused on putting one foot in front of the other as the mountain—and everything within it—disappeared behind her.