Chapter 42 #2
She looked up at him and nodded. “I didn’t know that then, but I see it now.
Cleaning allowed me to spend much of my time on my own, even when I was paired with others.
Then, Krata came along. If I was rude, she smiled.
If I ignored her, she smiled. She was vivacious, as if she had a special kind of light inside her.
Everyone loved her. Except me. She didn’t seem to care, though.
I passed her place every morning on the way to work, and every single morning, she was there waiting.
She didn’t talk to me, but she spoke to others as we passed.
Once we reached work, she always asked which jobs I preferred for that day.
I took the best and easiest, and she never once complained. That should tell you a lot about me.”
A challenge burned in her eyes, but he wouldn’t take it. “When did you stop doing that?”
Her lips parted in shock. “How do you know I did?”
“Because you aren’t as abhorrent as you believe you are.”
“I was to her.”
Manu heard the shame in her voice. “Did you become friends?”
“Krata thought we were. I, however, didn’t. She would tell stories as we worked. She had an incredible imagination. Yet I couldn’t find it in me to be the kind of friend she deserved.”
“What happened to her?”
Inej released a long breath. “One morning, she wasn’t there.
I didn’t wait or check on her. I was happy that I could walk to work in peace.
I assumed she was running late, but when she didn’t show up, I shrugged it off, thinking she was sick.
On the second morning without her there, I began to worry.
I checked in on her after work, but no one had seen her. That’s when I knew she had been taken.”
“And you were working for Gita then?”
Inej nodded. “I had left the agency to find cleaning jobs on my own. I was able to keep more money that way, and I answered an ad. Gita noticed Krata hadn’t shown up in a couple of days and asked me about it.
That’s when she told me that she worked for the DIA.
She went on to say that she knew who was responsible for the kidnappings. ”
Anger simmered in Manu’s gut. One day, he’d get his hands on Gita. “Me.”
“She gave me a map for how to find your mountain.”
“I never saw a map.”
Inej shrugged one shoulder. “I lost it right before I fell.”
“She knew where Navara was?” If so, then he needed to set up more patrols.
“She knew the approximate location. She told me you’d find me.”
Which he had. “I take it she’s also the one who gave you the poison?”
Inej shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “Gita told me you would let your guard down around a human.”
It seemed Gita knew him pretty well. Damn her.
“I believed every word she told me, down to the fact that it would all end if I stopped you. I’m not trying to make excuses, but I was angry about Krata being abducted.”
“And you needed someone to blame. I get it.”
She looked away and sighed. “If I had been thinking clearly, I would’ve seen how outlandish her explanation was. Especially the part about me joining the DIA as an undercover agent if I pulled this off.”
“She didn’t even give you proper clothing or equipment to travel through the Peaks.” And that infuriated him. How many other humans had Gita talked into making the same trip, only for them to fall victim to some tragedy?
“I didn’t ask for any either. I don’t know why,” Inej said with a frown.
“You wanted retribution for your friend.”
Inej glanced at the table. “I wanted to erase the shame for how I treated her. But, aye, I did want to exact my vengeance. I thought it would make up for my actions. I honestly thought I could. Me. A human going up against an elf. I didn’t stand a chance, and Gita knew it. I knew it. Still, I came for you.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You fought Chanda and came out victorious.”
“It was a fluke.”
He raised his brows. “Was it? I don’t think so.”
Inej swallowed and briefly looked away.
Once more, Manu had to keep himself from going to her.
He wanted to wrap her in his arms and shield her from the world.
Inej’s greatest asset was her fortitude.
Life had whittled, bent, and twisted her into the woman she was now.
It had tried to break her, but she had stood strong, refusing to crack.
She had erected tall, thick walls for protection because no one had been there to shield her.
“Um,” Inej said, pressing her lips together. “Gita gave me a box with several vials of poison. All but one was destroyed when I fell off the mountain. I dumped the box and the broken vials into the river.”
“And kept the other.”
She nodded softly. “I had every intention of taking your life. But…it was harder than I’d thought it would be. Even when I believed you to be the architect of the kidnappings.”
“Why didn’t you use the poison?” Even as he asked, he knew the answer might not be what he wanted to hear. Either way, he had to know. Otherwise, he’d spend the rest of his life wondering.
“At first, it was because I was too afraid. I had just arrived in the city and knew I was being watched closely. Then the assassin came for you. He told me that I’d done my part and I needed to stand down.”
“But you didn’t.”
“The moment I realized why he was there, I was outraged that someone would take my vengeance from me. The longer I was in Navara, and the more I learned about you, the more I realized that the abductions wouldn’t end with you. Someone else would step into your role. I made a quick decision.”
One that had saved him. “It nearly cost you your life.”
“All I could think about was getting payback for Krata and the countless others. When I woke, I knew my only course was to get close to you.”
This was the part Manu had been dreading. He stood and walked to the sideboard to pour two glasses of wine. He set a glass in front of Inej and took a large swallow of his. Then he urged her, “Go on.”
“I…” She trailed off, her mouth working as she struggled to find the words.
“The truth. Please.”
She brought her glass to her lips, her hand shaking slightly, and took a drink. “I’ve never hesitated to take lovers, but I had a rule to only share one night. The moment they fell asleep, I left.”
Her revelation left him speechless. Those walls of hers had been thicker than he realized. When she said she didn’t believe in love, she had meant it. Her soft brown eyes, filled with shame and sorrow, darted to his.
“I never understood why anyone would combine their life with another’s.
To hand over all that trust, believing the other would never hurt them?
I saw firsthand how deeply my father had hurt Mum and swore I’d never allow anyone close enough to hurt me in that way. ” She held his gaze for a long moment.
He set aside his wine as she suddenly shoved to her feet.
She started to pace with slow, measured steps, her distress evident in the way she repeatedly wrung her hands.
As if she were searching for the right words.
He could tell her that none of it mattered, that she was free to go.
It’s what he should say. But the words stuck in his throat.
If she left Navara, he’d never see her again.
But what was worse? Having her in the city and not being able to touch her? Or letting her go?
Either way he was fucked. She was in his blood now. There was no other for him, but he couldn’t force someone to love him.
“I know you have no reason to believe anything I say,” Inej said into the silence.
“I need you to know that part of the reason I couldn’t carry out my mission was because of you.
I was suspicious of your kindness. When you got me the baking job, I…
” She trailed off and wrinkled her face.
“It was my dream. You gave me the one thing I’d always wanted without even knowing it.
I was so happy working that I forgot why I was in Navara. ”
Manu couldn’t take his eyes off her, watching her walk from one end of the room to the other. He frowned when she hurriedly swiped at her cheek. His heart missed a beat at the thought of her tears. He stepped toward her, but her words stopped him.
“I was deeply conflicted about my attraction to you. Sharing your bed was easy. Too easy. I broke my rule. I told myself it was because I had to make you trust me, but that was a lie.” Inej halted, her gaze on the floor as she dragged in a ragged breath.
Manu tensed, hope unfurling in his chest.
“I wanted to be with you.” She slid her gaze to him. “I craved you from a place I didn’t know existed.”
His lips parted, her name on his tongue when she looked away.
“Then you told me the story about Shaldorn and your part in its downfall—all of which conflicted with what Gita had shared—it only made my confusion about you grow. I could no longer ignore the fact that you could be innocent, but I couldn’t exactly lay everything out to you and ask.”
“You could have,” he insisted.
She started to pace again. “We both know how that would’ve gone.
Besides, I didn’t want to chance being imprisoned.
I wasn’t sure you would be truthful, even if I had gone to you.
Nor could I ask Gita. The more I struggled to sort out the truth, the more confused I became.
The only thing I knew was that nothing Gita had said about you lined up with what I learned. ”
She halted by her chair and turned to face him, placing her hands on the back. “When I was attacked here, I was ready to die. I welcomed it because I wouldn’t have to make a decision about you then. It would be out of my hands. I was furious when I woke in your bed.”
“I should’ve been there,” he told her. He was furious at himself for letting her wake alone. If he had been there, Chanda wouldn’t have gotten to her.