Chapter 11 #2
“Looking back, I should have seen it,” she continues. “There were signs,” she chuckles a little and takes a sip of her drink. “But doesn’t everyone say that?”
“That’s because there usually are signs.” I shrug. “The important thing is, you figured it out.”
“I guess that’s true.” She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “We were going to get married,” she throws out that little fact so casually, I almost choke.
“Married?”
She nods. “Yup. But I’m not upset about it. Quite the opposite, actually. That’s probably a pretty big sign that I made the right choice, hey?”
I can’t help but agree with that.
She’s quiet for another moment. In the few weeks since I’ve known her, it’s easy to see that, as strong and confident as Lilly can be, she’s also deeply introspective and private. I don’t expect her to share much more with me, but I find myself hoping with a ferocity I didn't expect that she does.
“I thought we were building something together,” she continues after another quiet beat.
“A future where we both could chase our dreams and go after…well, it turns out that we had different ideas about those dreams. While I was dreaming about a career in finance, Barrett was dreaming about a world where I was a good little corporate wife who would stay home and throw fancy dinner parties in between popping out babies he could parade around in front of clients and colleagues.” She takes a quick sip of whiskey before adding, “Oh, and he wanted to keep fucking his best friend on the side, too.”
I see red. “He what?”
“Yup,” she says, and almost laughs. “I caught them together. But I’m glad that I did,” she adds only moments before I declare how I’ll rip his dick off and stuff it down his throat. “Because if I hadn’t, I might have been getting ready for a wedding right now instead of sitting here with you.”
Well, fuck.
Her words hit me low in the gut, where I have no business feeling anything.
I don’t know anything about her ex, but I don’t need to. Lilly almost married a man who didn’t deserve her. If things were different, that asshole would have had the privilege of taking her virginity. He would have been the one to— no! I can’t let my mind go there.
And it doesn’t matter anyway. Because she didn’t marry him. He wasn’t the one to be her first. That was me. Me.
A wave of territorial possessiveness crashes through me with such ferocity that I’m almost knocked back.
Fuck.
I have no business feeling any kind of way about Lilly or what we’ve done together.
We made a deal. I helped her out with her problem to keep her from going down to town and ruining her life with some asshole from the bar. After that…well, maybe the deal changed. But that still doesn’t give me any right to think it can ever be anything more than that.
A deal.
A temporary situation.
Because nothing’s changed. I still don’t need an assistant. I still don’t want anyone living in my house with me. I’m still not in any position to share my life—in any capacity—with anyone.
We agreed on one month. Long enough for her to find something else.
“Your turn,” I say in an effort to shift my attention back to the board before I can let myself dwell on that particular line of thinking any longer than I already have. Because the reality is, we did agree to one month. And that was almost three weeks ago.
We have one week left.
Lilly studies the pieces, but I can tell her focus isn’t on the game anymore. If it ever really was.
Maybe she’s thinking the same thing?
She studies the game a moment longer before finally sliding her piece across the board.
“Your move,” she says quietly.
I nod, but I’m not looking at the board anymore.
Lilly
After the game, I tell Luke I need a few minutes to check my email and retreat to my room with my laptop. It’s not a lie. I do need to check my email, but I also need a few minutes alone to process what happened tonight.
Over the last few weeks, we’ve been intimate in every imaginable way.
But somehow, in a few hours, over a simple game of chess, something shifted between us.
I can’t make sense of it yet, but the way he looked at me…
the way I opened up to him and he with me…
this thing between us started to feel a little more real.
But that doesn’t make any sense. Nothing about Luke and I make sense.
And it’s way too dangerous to let myself go down that line of thinking.
I blow out a breath and settle onto the bed I haven’t actually slept in for almost two weeks. Balancing my laptop on my crossed legs, I open it and navigate to my email program to see if there are any new replies to my job search.
When I first arrived on the mountain, I spent my evenings sending out dozens and dozens of resumes and applying to any job that I was even remotely qualified for.
I’d slowed down my job search in the last few weeks because…well, I’ve been busy.
But tonight was a stark reminder that I still needed to find a solution to my employment problem. And soon.
There was only one week left in the month we’d agreed upon.
I scan through my inbox. And then again, sure, I missed something.
But I didn’t.
It’s just one rejection letter after another. There are dozens of them, and not one letter of interest. It doesn’t make any sense. I’m more than qualified for the jobs I’ve been applying for. My references are solid, and I was at the top of my class. I should have my choice of jobs.
But… nothing.
My stomach tightens as I scroll through my inbox again, as if a job offer will magically appear this time.
It doesn’t.
I’m still staring at my computer screen when there’s a soft knock on the door. “Sorry to interrupt.”
I look up to see Luke, still bare-chested, and sexy as hell, leaning against the doorframe.
There’s an automatic rush of heat between my legs at the sight of him.
Especially when I see the slight smile on his face, that makes me wonder what dirty thoughts he might be thinking, and if I can get him to tell me.
“You’re not interrupting.” I close my laptop and toss it on the bed next to me. “I’m done.” I force a smile to my face and push the worrisome thoughts out of my head, at least for the moment. There’s nothing I can do about my lack of a job tonight.
His brow furrows, and he straightens. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I say automatically. “Just checking my emails.”
I can see he doesn’t totally believe me, but he doesn’t push.
Instead, he steps into my room and runs a hand through his beard.
“Just got off the phone with Tessa,” he says. “She’s hosting dinner in a few nights.”
“That sounds nice.”
“She invited you, too.”
That gets my attention. “Me?”
He tilts his head and grins. “You are friends, aren’t you?”
“We are.”
“Right,” he says. “So we’ll go have dinner. Together.”
Together.
Only, we’re not together. Not like that.
“Sounds good,” I work to keep my voice light.
He takes a few more steps toward my bed. “You sure you’re done here?” He gestures toward my laptop.
I can see the heat in his eyes. I know exactly what he’s really asking.
“I’m done.”
“Good.” He closes the distance between us. “Because I thought it’s time you go for a ride.”
“A ride?” Confused, I shake my head. “It’s late, where do you?—”
“A beard ride, Lilly.” He licks his lips as he reaches for me, tugging me across the bedspread toward him. “I want your wet, hot pussy on my face,” he continues. “I want you grinding against my beard while I eat you out, slow and deep until you’re shaking and can’t hold back.
His hands slide up my bare legs while he’s talking. My panties are already soaked from his dirty words, and without even checking, he knows it.
“And when you can’t hold back any longer, I want you to explode all over my face, soaking me.”
All I can do is moan in response.
“How about it then?” He chokes low in his throat. “You ready to go for a ride, sweetheart?”