Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Luke
By the time I get back in my truck and on the road, the storm has turned vicious.
No one should be out in this. No one could survive it.
The thought hits me, sending a fresh surge of adrenaline through me.
If anything happens to Lilly, I —no. I can’t let myself go there.
Snow lashes across the windshield so hard that the wipers don’t have a hope in hell of keeping up.
It’s a good thing I know these roads so well. I drive them by feel, doing my damndest to scan for the slightest trace of her tracks carved into the road.
They’re already filling in, disappearing under the dump of fresh snow, but I can see enough.
“Come on,” I mutter, leaning forward, gripping the wheel tight as the truck shifts beneath me. Even in Four Wheel Drive, the truck struggles to find purchase in the deep snow.
Lilly doesn’t have Four Wheel Drive. It’s a miracle she’s been able to make it this far in these conditions.
The road curves and I slow, my eyes scanning, searching—There!
The outline of her tire tracks veers too close to the edge and then disappears altogether.
My stomach drops.
“No!”
In reflex, I slam on the brakes. The truck fishtails before I quickly correct it, my pulse pounding as I throw it in park before it’s even fully stopped and jump out into the weather.
The snow sinks up and over my ankles. For a second, I stand there just staring at the edge of the road and the embankment where her tracks disappear over. My mind refusing to process what I’m seeing.
I can’t lose her. I won’t.
Not after finally feeling something again. Not after pushing her away as if she meant nothing to me, when she is everything.
“Lilly!” The storm swallows my shout as I spring into action.
The wind slams into me as I slip and ride my way down the embankment, grabbing at branches to help me keep my footing.
All my military training kicks in automatically. Years of physical and mental conditioning take over my body with muscle memory before my mind can even catch up.
Control your breathing. Stay focused. One step at a time.
Panicking in a crisis will get you killed.
I know this. I’ve lived it. More than once.
But this…
This isn’t in a mission. This is the woman I love. This is Lilly.
The second I see the outline of her car crumpled against the tree, all the training in the world isn’t enough for me to keep my control.
“Fuck.”
The word tears out of me as I close the distance, treading through the snow with impressive speed, slipping down the last few feet before catching myself on the car frame. My hands are already moving, already reaching for the door handle that’s mercifully exposed.
“Lilly.”
She’s slumped forward, unmoving.
She’s too still.
I wrench the door open, snow and wind blasting inside as I reach for her, brushing hair back from her face with shaking hands. “Come on, sweetheart...wake up.”
There’s blood on my glove when I pull it away.
But there’s no time to let it register.
Breathe, Luke. Focus.
I yank my glove off and press two fingers to her neck, feeling for a pulse.
It’s weak.
But there.
Thank God.
But she’s still not waking up.
“Stay with me,” I rasp, cupping her face, trying to stay steady when everything inside me is threatening to spiral. “Lilly, you need to wake up now. Come on, sweetheart.”
Nothing.
The fear starts to creep up through my carefully controlled walls. This is different than combat. This is Lilly.
“I can’t lose you,” my voice is raw with the truth of the words. “I won’t.”
I reach around her for the seatbelt and fumble with the clasp before reaching into my pocket for the utility knife I always have on me.
There’s no time. I need to get her out of here before…well, I won’t let myself think about what could happen if I don’t.
I make quick work of the seatbelt and, as carefully as I can, pull her out of the car and into my arms. The embankment is steep, and the snow is going to make my task anything but easy, but I have to try. There’s no other option.
I focus on my footing. One step at a time, doing my best not to jostle her. I can’t think about her injuries or what moving her might mean. There was no other choice. Leaving her in the car in this weather, way up here on the mountain, with no help for hours, isn’t an option.
I grit my teeth against the effort and somehow manage to get her up the hill, to the road, before I fall hard on my knees, Lilly still in my arms.
“Lilly.” I shift her a little, looming over her in an effort to keep the snow off her way too still face.
“We’re almost there now, sweetheart. Come on.
I need you to wake up.” I press my head to her forehead, in an effort to will her eyes open.
“I love you.” The confession surprises even me, but there’s no holding it back.
Not anymore. Not when I might already be too late.
“I should have told you that instead of pushing you away,” I say. “You mean everything to me, Lilly.”
The storm howls around us, but I barely register it anymore.
“I can’t live without you,” I tell her. “I won’t.”
For a long second, there’s nothing. Then, her lashes flutter. Her eyes open.
“Luke?”
Something inside me breaks open.
“Yeah.” I grip her tighter, unwilling to ever let her go. “Yeah, sweetheart. I’m here. I’ve got you. We’re going home.”
Lilly
The first thing I’m aware of is the ache.
It feels like my body has been tossed around in the tumble cycle of a dryer. Everything hurts.
There’s a dull throb behind my eyes, and a deeper, sharper pain in my ribs that makes it hard to breathe. Warmth surrounds me, yet I’m still so cold.
The cold.
The snow.
The crash.
My eyes fly open as I remember what happened.
“Luke?”
“I'm here.”
His hand is wrapped around mine, and he squeezes gently. The feel of him grounds me, and when my eyes land on his familiar face, the panic starts to recede.
“I’m here,” he says again. “You’re safe.”
My breath catches in my throat, but I feel my heart rate start to slow again.
I’m safe.
Slowly, I look around at the unfamiliar bedroom. “Where…what…”
“There was a crash, sweetheart,” he says softly. “I got you out of the car. We’re at Tessa and Holt’s. It was closer and safer than trying to take you home.”
Home.
My eyes close, the word settling deep inside. I don’t think about the apartment I left behind in the city. I don’t think about my childhood bedroom.
I only think of one place.
One person.
The way his hand feels wrapped around mine as if he’s holding me in place.
“You came for me,” I whisper, my eyes fluttering open to lock on his again. “In the storm. It was dangerous and you?—”
“There was never a world where I didn’t,” he said quietly, his thumb brushing slowly over my hand.
“But you…you sent me away.”
I see the shift on his face, the pain in his eyes. “I know,” he says, his voice rough. “I’m so sorry, Lilly. I never should have…I pushed you…I didn’t…dammit.” He runs his free hand over his face and tugs on his beard for a moment. “I’m screwing this up again.”
A memory flickers through the fog.
His voice, low and rough, cut through the storm. “You said…” my voice falters slightly, but I don’t look away. I need to be sure I wasn’t imagining it. “You said you loved me.”
“I do,” he says without hesitation. “I love you, Lilly. I’ve been fighting it, trying to convince myself I was doing the right thing by pushing you away, but the thought of losing you…
hell. I’ve never been so scared, sweetheart.
When I saw your car down there, and you were…
” he sucks in a breath. “I thought I’d lost you, Lilly. ”
I turn my hand around and squeeze his fingers. “You didn’t.”
“No.” He blows out a breath. “Thank God. If anything happened to you, I couldn’t live with myself, Lilly. Knowing I pushed you away and drove you into the storm.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know what I would have?—”
“Nothing happened,” I stop him. “I’m fine.” When I try to shift, the sharp pain in my ribs keeps me down. “Well, maybe I’m not fine,” I admit, a small smile tugging at my lips. “But I will be.”
Relief washes over his face, but there’s still something I need to be sure of. “Is it real?”
His brow furrows. “Is what real, sweetheart?”
“This,” I say softly. “You. Me. When you…well, earlier, I thought. Maybe what I was feeling wasn’t real. That maybe you didn’t?—”
His grip tightens, his other hand coming to carefully cup my face, his touch gentle as if he’s afraid he’ll hurt me.
“It was always real,” he interrupts me. “Every single second. I was just too damn scared to hold onto it.”
The last piece of doubt melts away.
I can see the truth in his eyes.
The way he’s holding me.
“Lilly…” his thumb brushes across my cheek, catching the tear I didn’t realize had fallen.
“I don’t just love you. I want a life with you.
I want you to stay on the mountain with me.
Together, we can build…well, we can build it all, sweetheart.
” I close my eyes, another tear slipping down my cheek, his words wrapping around me.
“A business,” he continues. “A life, a family, if that’s what you want.
And all the messy bits in between.” His voice is rough.
“I know after the way I handled all this, I don’t deserve you.
But I’ll spend the rest of my life proving you’re the most important thing in mine.
Because you are Lilly, you always will be. ”
Emotion swells in my chest. I tighten my hold on his hand.
“You don’t have to prove anything,” I say softly. “You just have to love me.”
“I do,” he says it so quickly, I laugh.
“I do, too,” I tell him. “I love you, Luke. I don’t even know when it happened, just that…”
“It did.”
I nod. “It did.”
He kisses me gently, like I might break, and when he pulls back, his forehead rests against mine, his breath warm on my lips.
“Yes,” I say.
He looks up, searching my face, and I smile.
“Yes to you. To us. To all of it.”
Slowly, his smile grows to match mine, something lighter breaking through the mask of intensity he’s been wearing. “Yeah?”
“Oh, yeah,” I say, my voice soft, but certain. “On one condition.”
“Anything.”
I shift slightly, ignoring the pull in my ribs, just enough to meet his eyes fully.
“No more firing me.”
For a second, he just stares at me, then he blows out a quiet laugh and shakes his head.
“Yeah,” he says. “I think I can agree to that.”
“Good.” I settle back into the pillow, my hand tightening around his. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”
His gaze softens. “Neither am I, sweetheart. Ever.”