Chapter 56 Tilda
Tilda
A warm palm settles on top of my hand, and I open my eyes.
Then I gasp.
I knew we’d have to fly over the Rockies to get to Nevada, but… wow.
Just wow.
Ethan gives my hand a gentle squeeze, and I twist my wrist, flipping my hand over so we’re palm to palm.
“It’s…” I take in the wilderness spreading below us. “Amazing.”
His fingers slide between mine as he grips my hand in his. “Another one of your sex lines?”
“You wish.” I don’t give the comeback the proper attitude because I’m too busy looking out the window.
Silence stretches between us, the hum of the engine filling my head.
We’re flying lower than the commercial plane that brought me to Colorado did.
I don’t think we’re going as fast either.
So the mountains are closer.
More vivid.
More detailed.
It’s like a Bob Ross painting come to life.
The gray rocky slopes.
The blanket of evergreen trees.
My eyes scan it all, and I notice that all the trees seem to stop growing at about the same spot on all the mountains.
I’m sure Ethan knows why. Probably something to do with temperature or oxygen or wild chipmunks eating all the nuts. But I’m too busy looking to ask.
It’s so—
The plane shakes, and I let out an embarrassing squeak.
Ethan flexes his fingers around mine. “Just turbulence. It’s normal around the mountains.”
I squeeze his fingers back. “Why’s that?”
“Mountain waves.” He answers in a calm tone. “Wind coming from the west moves up over the mountains and causes mayhem.”
I press my lips together and inhale through my nose, trying to slow my racing pulse. “It’s cool that you know that.”
Ethan grunts.
“What?” I focus on his response and not the new round of shaking.
“You shouldn’t let yourself be so easily impressed.”
I turn my head and gape at him. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
I move my attention back out the window.
And… he’s not wrong.
Years and years of people disappointing me, for one reason or another, have left me expecting the least.
So, yeah. My bar is probably too low.
I sigh. “You’re right.”
“Usually.” Ethan says it so blandly that I have to smile. “But what precisely are you referring to?”
“My standards.” I shrug, keeping my eyes on the mountains. “Pretty sure my expectations aren’t just low. They’re lying on the floor.”
It stings a little to admit it, but it’s the truth.
Ethan doesn’t reply. And when I glance over, I think I see his jaw tick.
Then I realize that might’ve come off as insulting.
“Oh, um, not you. I don’t just mean our… Well… You know.” I struggle to find the right words.
I like Ethan as a whole. But now my cheeks are getting hot as I think about the last time I saw him, when he made me come just by grinding on me.
That wasn’t below average.
That was an A-plus experience.
“Do you have an ex-boyfriend I need to kill?” Ethan’s tone is angry.
“Huh?” I’m back to looking at him. “Why would you…?”
“Your expectations on the floor. Did someone hurt you?”
My face scrunches up. “What? No. It’s not—” I try to think of the best way to explain myself. “I wasn’t referring to any of my exes. Of which there are few. It’s my family that sucks. Not like hitting me sucks. They just… suck.”
Nerves, ones that have nothing to do with flying, crawl across my skin as I think about the people waiting for me on the other end of this flight.
I try to slide my hand free from Ethan’s, but he tightens his grip.
“The first time we met, you asked me if I was going to shoot you. You asked if your cousin sent me.”
I grimace. “That may have been an overreaction.”
“Most people don’t assume a relative is trying to kill them for no reason.”
I let the warmth of his hand comfort me against the unpleasant memories. “He’s all bark.”
“But…” Ethan prompts, knowing there’s more.
I shrug. “But… he also told me he was going to kill me the last time I saw him. So when you show up, out of the freaking woods, with a gun, on the day I move in… I may have overacted.”
“What were his exact words?” Ethan ignores the part about him coming out of the forest.
I’ve never told anyone this story.
Telling my mom or anyone else in my family would be pointless.
I had some friends, but they were all people I knew through work, and I didn’t want to involve them in my emotionally abusive trauma.
But with Ethan… “Honestly, I couldn’t tell you why I was even at this family event. I hated going to them. It was just… easier to go than deal with the harassment of not going.”
It’s an uncomfortable truth. And all the more reason to be grateful to Uncle Jack for my new house. My escape.
Ethan’s thumb rubs a calming line against my hand. “I get it. But now you never have to choose between the two.”
I swallow against his understanding, glad that I’m finally sharing this.
“We were at his mom’s place, my Aunt Gunnie’s.
In early April for our grandma’s birthday.
She’s Uncle Jack’s sister. Or was, I guess.
But they didn’t get along. I don’t think Uncle Jack liked anyone but me.
And I don’t mean that in a bragging sort of way.
He and I… we aren’t filled with spite and entitlement like the rest of them.
Really, I don’t know why they’re all so nasty. ”
A weight shaped like disappointment settles on my chest.
I really don’t know why they’re all so rotten.
I know every family has its drama. But this group… I don’t think they’ve ever been happy in their life.
Have I ever been happy?
That weight gets heavier, and I finally release my hold of the seat belt to rub at my sternum.
Maybe I haven’t been happy, but living on my own for the last decade has definitely been better than living with any of them.
And maybe I’m just not happy yet. But…
I flex my fingers against Ethan’s. I look out the window at the endless beauty below me. I think about my new home and my ribbon and my duck…
I’m going to be happy.
Soon.
“And your cousin?” Ethan’s reminder cuts through my optimism.
“My cousin is a toad.”
Ethan makes a choking sound that almost makes me smile.
“Ralph, my cousin, apparently heard our moms talking about how Grandma’s health wasn’t doing well.
And when I was stepping out of the bathroom, he cornered me and told me that he’d kill me if I tried to take what was his.
” I shake my head as I say it. It’s true.
“I don’t know why he would even think Grandma would leave me anything.
I mean, maybe she has some savings stashed away.
But I’m pretty sure she’d give it to her weirdo cult friends before she’d give it to anyone in the family. She certainly wouldn’t give it to me.”
“Do they think she has more money than Jack?”
A laugh bubbles out of me. “For sure. None of them have talked to Uncle Jack for probably a decade. Last time I saw him was like four years ago, when he passed through town and took me to lunch. If they ever find out he left me twenty grand, they’ll flip out.”
I didn’t mean to say how much money Uncle Jack left me. But when I glance over, Ethan doesn’t look shocked, so maybe he knew Jack had money.
I clear my throat. “Anyway, this thing you’re bringing me to is the reading of Uncle Jack’s will.
And I’m assuming everyone will be there, because they’re a bunch of greedy greed bags.
I really hope the will doesn’t say anything about the check.
It’s gonna be bad enough when they find out he left me a house.
And a truck. And land. I’m also hoping the will doesn’t list out the address, but they’re greedy, not stupid.
So I’m sure they’ll find a way to figure it out.
” My insides sour at the idea that any of them might show up at my new house.
“I know Uncle Jack didn’t live in Lonely all year.
So maybe today has something to do with that?
Or maybe that place was a rental. Whatever it was, I know he wouldn’t give it to any of them.
” I look at Ethan and ask him because I don’t have anyone else to ask.
“Do you know where he went when he wasn’t in the mountains? ”
“I don’t. He never said.”
“Oh.”
“Do you know for sure that your family will be there today?”
I shake my head. “Not for sure. But pretty much everyone, except my dad and a few other cousins, lives in Vegas. I lived there my whole life too. Until now.”
Ethan makes a humming sound. “If everything is already in your name, do you really have to go?”
It’s a fair question. “Legally, I don’t know if it matters. But Uncle Jack left me a letter specifically asking me to. And he knows I hate all these people as much as he did, so I’m assuming there’s a good reason.”
When Ethan doesn’t reply, I look over at him.
After a moment he speaks. “You’ll point out Ralph to me.”
The way he says my cousin’s name lightens some of the earlier heaviness.
I nod. “Promise. I mean, I hope they don’t follow me back to the airport. But if they do, he’s the smarmy-looking one a couple years older than me.”
“No one is following you back to the plane, Tilda. I’m going with you to the lawyer’s office.”
“Oh, you don’t have to—”
“I was hired to fly you and drive you.”
I press my lips together.
I was hired.
I want to pull my hand free from Ethan’s.
I want to stop touching him. Stop absorbing his comfort.
But I can’t do that without calling attention to my hurt feelings.
And they shouldn’t be hurt.
It’s stupid for me to feel hurt.
Ethan is the pilot.
He’s flying me right now because he was hired by Uncle Jack.
I know that.
I knew that.
But I forgot.
I got caught up, and I forgot.
Ethan isn’t here for me.
He’s here for a job.
A paycheck.
Grateful for my dark sunglasses, I turn my head and look out the window.