Chapter 127
Tilda
Quackers takes the pea from my palm.
“You like that?” I smile and take another one from the bowl, holding my hand out.
She takes it, then waddles over to her pool, and I set the bowl of partially thawed peas next to me on the front step.
The day is beautiful.
The sun is out, but it’s not too hot.
The sky is a bright, vivid blue.
And I… have no idea what to do with myself.
Quackers hops into the water.
“What do you think?” I ask the duck. “Should I get a pet?”
She lets out a mild quack.
“Yeah, but you aren’t a pet. You’re a… neighbor.”
She paddles away, giving me her back.
I tap my shoes against the ground.
I really am allergic to cats. And dogs seem fun, but I’ve never had one.
Quackers turns back around, and I toss a pea into the water.
She dives after it.
I toss some more as I think about my options.
But that’s the problem. There are too many options.
I have money now. And not just like enough savings to cover me for a few months. Like I have every option available to me money.
I could work part-time and earn just enough to help with expenses while giving myself something to do.
I could work full-time and make enough that I don’t use any of the money from Uncle Jack.
I could use the money to pay for a college degree. No loans needed.
But… I don’t have the first idea of what I’d go to school for. And, if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t want to go to school. I didn’t really like it the first time around, and doing it by choice seems like the worst choice of them all.
I toss another pea into the water.
“You don’t know how good you have it.”
Quackers chomps the pea.
“Okay…” I toss another pea. “What do I like to do?”
In general, I’m easy to entertain. But the things I enjoy…
Ethan.
My mind just keeps going back to Ethan.
I enjoy life when we’re together.
All of it.
The conversations and the expressions he makes. The sex.
I snort.
Sex with Ethan is not a viable profession.
But…
I bite down on my lip, glad no one but Quackers can see me as my cheeks flush. Because a profession I’d never really considered before might also be an option.
The duck paddles in place, looking at me.
“What do you think? Would I be an okay mom?”
Quackers flaps her wings.
I toss her a pea.
I’ve never given kids too much thought. I’ve never been in a serious enough relationship to have the conversation with anyone before. But I’ve thought about it enough to know that I didn’t want to be single and pregnant, so I’ve always been on birth control.
But…
I tap my toes on the ground a little faster.
Ethan and I are new, even if we’re technically married. But it still feels serious.
Like it’s getting serious.
I think about Ethan beating up my cousin yesterday.
Feels like maybe we’re already serious.
And it’s probably too soon to talk to him about kids. But maybe… I could be a stay-at-home mom.
Maybe.
One day.
I blow out a breath, and Quackers snaps her beak.
“I know, I know.” I toss her two peas. “I’m getting ahead of myself.”
But thinking about Ethan makes me think about yesterday.
Freaking yesterday.
Ethan was… perfect.
His timing.
His words.
The way he looked while punching my stupid cousin in the face.
My mouth pulls into a smile.
Ethan was so perfect, handled it so perfectly, that I can sit out here today, feet away from where Ralph put his hands on my window, and smile.
Ethan did it all so perfectly that I’m not at all worried about Ralph coming back.
First, he probably spent yesterday in the hospital because I’m pretty sure his wrist is broken. It’s also probable that his face is broken.
Second, Ethan looked intimidating as hell swinging that axe around.
Hot. But intimidating.
And third, I think Ethan was telling the truth.
I think he was telling the truth about his cousin that one time too.
I think, if pushed to it, Ethan could feed a man to the mountain lions and feel completely at peace with the idea.
And that, combined with the time he ran my whole family off, reminds me that I owe him the biggest blow job ever.