Chapter 158
Ethan
I pause.
The towels and water cup are still on the floor.
Still mocking me.
I don’t know how…
I close my eyes and think.
We’d just gotten home. We’d spent the weekend at the cabin. I came home, and I read that fucking letter. I… got a call and went to work. And when I came home, I threw it away.
I know I threw it away.
But I didn’t. She found it under the couch. I…
I picked it up off the floor when I got back from work.
The wind blew it off the counter, and I… threw away an empty envelope.
All this time.
All this fucking time, the letter was here.
Waiting.
Just when I think I can’t be any madder at myself…
Swallowing, I bend and scoop up the damp towels and empty glass.
I walk them straight to the trash and drop them in.
I’m not keeping them.
I won’t.
I…
Morning sunlight cuts through the window, and tiny rainbows dance around the room.
My breath catches.
What…
Then I see it.
And that pressure in my eyes becomes unbearable.
My boots are quiet on the floor as I cross to the dining table.
My fingers tremble as I pick up the suncatcher.
The purple beads make a quiet clinking sound as they bump into each other.
It’s like the one I saw her working on before. But even better.
There’s a loop of fishing line to hang it from. And the top of the suncatcher is a horizontal circle of beads. But it’s stiff. Like she found wire to use. Then, hanging from the circle are half a dozen strands of beads of different lengths.
It’s delicate.
Beautiful.
Made from Tilda’s birthday beads.
I hold it carefully as I walk outside.
I didn’t park in the garage last night. Couldn’t find the energy.
So I cross the driveway to my truck, holding my gift up to the sunlight, watching it sparkle.
And I know she must’ve set this down before she found the letter.
But it’s still mine.
And I’m going to keep it.
Just like Matilda Iris Grant is still mine.
And I’m going to keep her.