Chapter 6
TAMMY
Macy was doing laundry alone in the house when I returned. I set my purse down and headed over to her, grabbing some fresh clothes to help her fold. She took one look at me, her little black dress wrinkled from the night it spent on the floor and clapped.
“Welcome home!” My cousin threw imaginary confetti out of her hands, grinning from ear to ear.
I laughed. This was nothing like a walk of shame. It was more like a moment of triumph. My own personal induction into some sort of hall of fame if you will.
“So, how was it?” she asked.
I was about to answer when the cabin door burst open and little children flooded the living room. I peeked out into the common area to see Dillon, still wearing Emily on his back. Nicky and Daisy ran up to me, screaming with joy.
“Where did you go?” Daisy asked, pulling on my fingers.
“Tammy had a sleepover.” Macy winked.
Dillon came to find us and kissed Macy on the cheek. She detached their toddler from the carrier, settling her onto her hip. Multitasking like only a mother can, she continued to fit clothes into the machine with the other hand, portioning out detergent and turning the machine on.
“Daddy took us down to the stream!” Nicky said joyfully.
“Did you see any bugs?” I asked.
“Lots of them.” Nicky jumped excitedly in place.
“Let’s give Tammy some room to change.” Macy ushered her children out of the laundry room, leaving me in peace.
I took my time undressing, remembering how Mike had done it the night before. His hands had been rough but gentle, like he was accustomed to hard work. There was so much power in his grip, and yet he held me as if I were fragile. Every single touch had communicated love…but that was ridiculous. It had just been a one-night thing—it was meaningless to both of us. That’s what I told myself anyway, to try to chase away the lingering pleasure his lovemaking had bestowed on me.
I changed into jeans and a T-shirt and threw my underwear in the laundry with Macy’s. I wasn’t sure how to clean the dress, whether it needed a cold wash or dry cleaning. I hung it up on a hanger I found in the closet and decided to ask her the next time I got a chance. Now that I was presentable, I wanted a shower.
I opened the door to scope out the situation. The kids were watching television in the living room. It didn’t look like I was going to be able to make it to the bathroom without being spotted. With determination, I strode through the common area, sparing only a quick smile for my little cousins. They took the hint, thankfully, and allowed me to continue to my destination without interruption.
I locked myself in the bathroom and took a long, hot shower. There was some bodywash that smelled like artificial sour watermelons, but it had to make do. I washed away the perfume and the scent of the man I had met in the bar. Now, the only thing remaining from our time together was my memories. They would linger in my mind for days and weeks to come. I didn’t even notice how completely Mike had erased my ex in my thoughts. It made me ashamed that I still cared so much about how much that idiot had hurt me. I dressed again in my clean clothes and emerged from the bathroom just in time to be roped into lunch.
“Can you pour some milk?” Macy asked me as she made peanut butter sandwiches on the counter.
“Sure.” I grabbed two plastic cups and a sippy cup from the cabinet and filled them with milk.
“Here, take these to the table.” Macy pointed to three sandwiches on plates, dropping the knife into the sink.
I grabbed the sandwiches and set them on the table, then crowned each lunch with their cups of milk.
“Kids! Lunch,” Macy called. “I think there are some carrots and apples in the fridge.”
I looked in the fridge and found some prepackaged carrots and apple slices. I grabbed three of each and brought them to the table.
Nicky and Daisy scrambled over to climb into their seats, while Macy put Emily in her highchair.
“I don’t like carrots,” Nicky said.
Macy rolled her eyes, probably hearing Nicky say that for the third time that week and pulled up a chair beside Emily.
“Where’s Dillon?” I asked, pulling up my own chair.
“Outside somewhere. Did you want lunch?” Macy asked. “There are some cold cuts.”
I waved my hand. “I’m fine. I’ll get something later. You have too much work, you don’t need to take care of me too.”
She leaned toward me, cutting Emily’s food into smaller pieces. “Spill. What was it like?”
I looked down at Daisy and Nicky but found them focused on each other and their sandwiches. They were playing pirate sword fight with carrot sticks.
I dropped my voice to a whisper to carry on an adult conversation. “It was wonderful. He was so… good.”
Macy grinned. “More details,” she demanded, pushing the sandwich toward her youngest child.
“Um, yeah.” I didn’t know really how much detail I could go into with the kids in the room. “He knew what he was doing. And he was very… tight and muscular?” I winced, trying to describe Mike in as few words as possible.
“Did it work? Did you get your ex out of your system?” Macy wanted to know.
I paused to consider her question. Since my conversation with Mike in the truck, I hadn’t thought about my ex all day. “Yeah,” I said in disbelief. “I think it did.”
“And are you going to see him again?”
“No, it was just a one-night stand.”
Nicky turned around to face me. “What’s a one-night stand?”
I turned to Macy in horror.
“It’s where you put your lamp,” Macy said without missing a beat.
Nicky seemed satisfied with that answer and went back to not eating his carrots.
“Are you sure?” my cousin asked me when the danger had passed.
“About what?”
“About not wanting to see Mike again,” she said, offering Emily another bite. “He was cute and funny and apparently good in the sack.”
“What’s the sack?” Daisy chirped.
“It’s where you keep potatoes,” I said.
Macy smiled. “You’re catching on.”
“They’re going to have a really weird vocabulary if you’re not careful,” I whispered.
Macy stuck to her guns. “So, why not see Mike again?”
I shook my head. “I’m not interested in dating, and I didn’t get the idea he was either. It was just a fun night for both of us.”
“Okay,” she sighed, clearly not okay with it.
“Can I have a one-night stand near my bed?” Daisy asked.
Macy and I looked at each other and erupted into laughter. Just at that moment, Dillon walked in the door. He was carrying a stick that had been partially sanded into a cane. He looked at me and then at Macy.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“It was something Daisy said,” Macy explained.
“What did she say?” Dillon asked.
“She asked for a nightstand,” I said.
For the rest of the day, I kept my head down, trying not to excite the children with mention of my scandalous evening. I did the dishes, helped with the laundry, swept the floor, and took the kids on another nature walk. Living in the mountains allowed for nature walks, and they were quickly becoming my pastime of choice. Nicky and Daisy never tired of catching butterflies, throwing rocks into the stream, and climbing trees. It was a better childhood than I had, growing up in the suburbs of Austin. What wouldn’t I have done for the wide-open spaces and fresh air opposed to car pollution and bumpy, crowded roads?
Unfortunately, the tryst with Mike had worked too well. Not only had he consumed all thoughts of my ex, but he had overrun most of my thoughts in general. Everywhere I looked, I saw his face. The mountain stream was the same color as his eyes; the graceful movements of a deer called up images of bunched muscles.
I had come to this little town to get away, not to dive headfirst into another romance. Who knew if Mike was good boyfriend material? All I knew about him was how his body felt on top of mine and the width of his ship in my canal. It was hardly enough to base a relationship on. I spent the entire day fighting a war inside my head, only to realize, when I finally lay down to sleep, that I had lost. I was totally hooked, and there was nothing I could do about it.