Chapter 29
L auren hurried out of the post office and stepped into the early September sunlight.
The box full of pictures of Mac and Jetter, and their much-loved mountain, was now sealed, labeled, and handed over to the clerk with a polite smile that had cost her more effort than she'd expected.
Inside the package were the pictures she'd chosen so carefully, each one a piece of the story she wanted Mac to see.
Not just snapshots, but proof of how she felt toward them and what she hoped for.
Her pace quickened across the sidewalk. She didn't want to linger here. The moment the package left her hands, her mind had already leapt ahead to the mountain, to the conversation she'd been rehearsing in her head for the last three weeks.
Sonja was waiting in the passenger seat of her Jeep, sunglasses pushed up into her hair, scrolling idly through her phone. She looked up the second Lauren slid behind the wheel.
"Well?" Sonja asked, her tone light but curious. "When's the big trip back to the campground?"
She'd tried to leave Mac behind, but she was miserable.
The things that used to bring her happiness now seemed like a chore because her heart was back at Bitterroot Mountain Range Campground.
The more days that passed, the easier it was to decide that she'd go back and face Mac.
She'd spill her feelings until he understood that she'd fallen in love with him.
Lauren started the engine, the hum filling the small space. "Next week."
"Next week?" Sonja tilted her head. "Why not sooner?"
Lauren eased the Jeep into gear and pulled away from the curb. "Because the campground doesn't close until Sunday. I want to wait until all the campers are gone."
Sonja frowned slightly. "Why would that matter?"
Lauren's hands gripped the steering wheel tighter.
She'd thought about this more than she'd admit to anyone but Sonja.
"Because I want Mac's full attention. I need him to understand how serious I am about my feelings.
If I show up while he's fixing the water supply, helping campers, or dealing with whatever disaster has hit that day, he'll be distracted.
I don't want him pulled away from me, not for a second.
Remember, I'm the one who chickened out and left without saying goodbye.
If it had been him avoiding seeing me when I left, I don't know what I would've done.
I wouldn't have expected him to do that.
He's so strong and confident. It would've broken my heart.
" She paused. "I could kick my own ass for how I left.
At the time, I thought it was the best way to leave.
And, yeah, I was protecting my heart. I didn't think at all about how he would feel.
" She groaned. "I don't know. Maybe I read too much into what happened this summer. Maybe my feelings are more than—"
"Stop." Sonja grabbed Lauren's forearm and shook her. "You know. Deep down, you know exactly how he feels."
"But he's not like other men. He doesn't talk through his feelings by texting me."
Sonja's expression softened. "Girl, you've got it bad."
"Yeah. I do." She hesitated, then added, "And as much as I'd love to see Jetter again, I also want to wait until next week to make sure he's gone.
I wouldn't want to interrupt his last few days with his dad this summer.
It was never mentioned exactly when he would go back to live with his mom, but school starts on Monday.
So when I get up the mountain, it should just be Mac.
No interruptions. No excuses. I'm just going to shoot it straight and tell Mac everything until he understands. "
The thought steadied her. She'd been carrying her decision for too long. Soon, she'd have her chance to hand over her heart to him and see what he did with it.
They drove in companionable silence for a few blocks, the late sun slanting through the windshield.
Lauren glanced at Sonja. "So, you want me to drop you off at your place, or do you want to come shopping with me?"
Sonja arched a brow. "Shopping? Where?"
"Cabela's."
That earned her a laugh. "No dresses?"
"Nope." Lauren grinned. "I need hot, mountain woman clothes. A legit outfit that will withstand a bear and turn on a man."
Sonja laughed harder, shaking her head. "Oh, my God. You have officially gone insane."
Lauren shot her a look, and they both burst into laughter. The sound filled the vehicle, but beneath it, a quiet thrum of resolve grew stronger. She wasn't just buying clothes. She was preparing herself. She needed a full suit of armor in the form of flannel and denim.
Fifteen minutes later, a blast of cool air hit Lauren as she and Sonja stepped inside the outdoor store. The faint scent of leather, canvas, and cedar polish wrapped around her, mingling with the low hum of country music playing overhead.
Lauren paused just inside, scanning the interior. There were tables and racks of flannel shirts in every shade of plaid, racks of rugged jeans, and shelves stacked with boots that looked like they could survive a decade of winters.
Sonja gave a low whistle. "This place is... intense."
Lauren smiled faintly. "It's perfect."
"Look at those guys." Sonja tilted her head. "They're all big and rugged."
"I'm a big believer that being outdoors makes men stronger than the normal man." She hip checked Sonja. "And bigger...all over."
"No." Sonja stopped. "Seriously?"
She laughed. "Oh, yeah."
They started toward the women's section, passing displays of fishing rods and camouflage jackets.
Lauren's eyes caught on a mannequin dressed in a fitted red-and-black flannel, dark jeans, and scuffed brown boots.
It was exactly the kind of thing she'd pictured for herself.
Practical, but with a quiet kind of confidence.
Like she was experienced in living in the wilderness.
Sonja followed her gaze. "So this is the look you're going for? No sundresses, no sandals?"
Lauren shook her head. "Nope. He's already seen me in twenty different dresses. I need something that screams I'm here for the great outdoors. I want to look like I belong there."
"You do belong there." Sonja leaned closer. "Manifest it."
Every single second. That's what she hoped.
She pulled the flannel from the rack, running her fingers over the soft cotton. She imagined Mac seeing her in it. Not as the visitor with a camera slung around her neck and a phone in her hand, but as someone who could stand beside him on the dock at sunrise and not look out of place.
The weather was changing even faster on the mountain than down in the valley. The mornings were chilly to downright cold. Once the sun went down, it would get even colder.
She moved through the racks of clothes, picking out a couple more shirts—earthy greens, deep blues—and a pair of jeans that hugged her hips without being too tight and flared slightly at the bottom.
Dragging Sonja from the taxidermy animals in the middle of the store, she went to pick out a pair of boots.
It took her no time to settle on a pair that was sturdy without sacrificing style.
They were cute.
"You're nesting." Sonja leaned against the cart. "My sister did the same thing before she had her baby."
"Not the same thing. I'm not pregnant." She picked up a few pairs of thicker socks. "I'm preparing."
"For a change or for heartbreak?" Sonja waved her hands. "I'm not saying he's going to break your heart. I want to know what your hope is by buying new clothes that fit his lifestyle."
Lauren met Sonja's gaze. The question didn't put her off. There were times when she struggled with the truth.
"Something is telling me to go all in with him. He won't take anything less from me. I'm going to trust my gut feeling." She swallowed hard. "I don't want to be hurt. But it hurts being away from him, so what do I have to lose?"
Sonja's expression softened. "You really think he's worth all this?"
"One hundred percent." Lauren didn't hesitate. "Absolutely."
They made their way to the checkout, the cart filled with flannel, denim, a new winter coat, and the kind of boots that could take her anywhere on the mountain. As they stepped outside, dusk had settled. A surge of adrenaline filled her with hope.