Chapter 35
T wo weeks had passed since Lauren came to live with him, and Mac still hadn't gotten used to how damn good it was to wake up with her every morning. Not just the comfort of her body curled beside his or the way she filled the cabin with laughter and warmth, but the way she fit into his life.
She was always willing to lend a hand and learn something new. He was constantly surprised at how much she jumped into living with him.
He sat on the edge of the bed, loading his rifle with practiced ease, the soft click of metal against metal filling the silence.
Across the room, Lauren tied her boots, her brow furrowed in concentration as she weaved the laces around the hooks.
She wore a flannel shirt over her T-shirt, the sleeves rolled to her elbows, and the sight of her being mountain-ready, with no makeup, her hair piled on her head, made his chest tighten.
"I thought you couldn't get any prettier than when you wore all those summer sundresses," he murmured in the quiet. "But I think I like this better."
She looked up, smiling, and did a slow turn in front of him.
"This?" She touched the bun twisted on the top of her head.
She'd tied a bandana around her head with loose hair strands framing her face.
"You mean this pristine lavender plaid, slightly wrinkled, probably still smells like pine vibe I got going on? "
He stared into her eyes. "You've never looked more relaxed."
She laughed softly. "Give me a few more days. I'll run out of clean clothes eventually and have to resort to joggers and jeggings. Unless Cabela delivers to the mountain, of course."
Mac slung the rifle over his shoulder. "We've got a generator in the lodge. Washer and dryer work just fine."
She raised a brow. "Why don't you have one in your house?"
"I like the quiet," he said.
She stepped closer, winding her arms around his waist, her fingers slipping beneath the hem of his shirt. "You seem to like it when I scream."
He kissed her, slow and deep, unable to hide the grin that tugged at his mouth. She had a way of knocking him off balance.
"You ready to hike out?" he asked, pulling back just enough to see her eyes.
She nodded. "Where are we going?"
"Hidden waterfall. You haven't seen it yet."
She glanced at the rifle. "Why the pew-pew?"
He frowned. "Pew-pew?"
"That's what you have to say online so you don't get your account shadow-banned."
"Shadow-banned?"
"It's when your post doesn't show up in hashtag searches and isn't shown in other people's FYP." She wrinkled her nose. "No views means no money." She waved her hand. "It doesn't matter. But, I am curious about why you're carrying a rifle."
"Does it make you nervous?"
"No." She patted the back of her neck and played with stray strands of hair.
"I live in Montana, everyone has guns, and my parents belong to a country club where I participated in skeet shooting as a teenager.
" She shrugged, disregarding the new info she dumped in front of him.
"Just curious about why you're carrying a weapon now, but during the summer you resorted to bear spray. "
"Bears get cranky in the fall," he said. "They're scrambling for food, guarding their kills, prepping for denning."
Her eyes widened. "Oh."
"Nothing's gonna happen." He brushed a thumb across her cheek. "Skeet shooting, huh?"
"I was terrible, if I'm honest." She laughed.
He led her outside and walked with her to the new area she hadn't been to before. He stayed beside her until she got her footing. The trail ahead was steep, winding through thick trees and moss-covered rocks. He slowed his pace, letting her walk at her speed.
And for the first time in a long time, Mac wasn't just walking the mountain.
He was sharing it.
The trail narrowed as they climbed in elevation.
Old Man's Beard, the almost hair-like moss, appeared on the tree trunks, marking how cold the alpine region gets in the winter.
Mac moved ahead, clearing low branches with the barrel of his rifle, listening for the rustle of movement in the underbrush.
He knew better than to trust quiet woods in early fall.
Behind him, Lauren kept pace, her breath steady, boots crunching in time with his. She didn't complain or ask how much farther they had to go. She kept following him. The ends of her flannel shirt were now tied around her waist. She looked like she belonged here.
He glanced back once, catching her mid-step, her eyes scanning the trees with curiosity instead of caution. That alone made something settle in his chest. She wasn't just visiting anymore. She was learning the mountain.
Stopping in the clearing, he took out his water bottle from his pack and handed it to her. She drank and handed it back.
"Could you tell my thighs were burning?" She inhaled deeply, trying to regain her breath.
"Are they?"
She groaned. "On fire."
"You're doing well." He looked around. "It doesn't hurt to take breaks."
She patted her stomach. "If I did this every day, I would lose weight." She patted her stomach. "That would make my mom happy."
"Who gives a shit what your mom thinks about your body?" He hooked the back of her neck and brought her closer. "You're the only one who can live your life. Everyone else can fuck off."
She studied him. "It really doesn't bother you that I'm packing some extra weight around?"
"Not a damn bit." He kissed her quickly. "I'm a big guy. You're small in comparison to me."
Her smile grew. He patted her ass.
They reached their destination before noon. The sun filtered through the canopy of trees in golden streaks. Mac stopped, motioning her forward. "This way."
She stepped beside him, and he guided her through a narrow break in the trees. The sound hit first like distant applause, low and steady. Then the view opened.
The waterfall spilled from the rocks above, white and wild, crashing into a pool so clear he could see the stones at the bottom. Mist hung in the air, and the sunlight caught it just right, casting a faint rainbow across the spray.
Lauren gasped. "Mac..."
He watched her take it all in, unable to take his gaze off her. The waterfall couldn't match how beautiful she was at that moment. He'd been here a hundred times if not more, but all other times paled compared to sharing the waterfall with Lauren.
She stepped closer to the edge of the water, eyes wide, lips parted in awe. "It's beautiful."
"Not many people know it's here. Too far off the main trails," he spoke louder to be heard over the drum of the water hitting the rocks. "We don't allow the campers to come over here."
She turned to him, her face flushed from the hike. "I wouldn't either."
He caught her hand, pleased at her reaction. "Figured you'd appreciate it."
She squeezed his fingers. "I do."
He noticed she never once reached for her phone in the pocket of her flannel. She eagerly took in his world and protected it from others.
They sat on a flat rock near the water, the mist cooling their skin, the roar of the falls drowning out everything else. Mac set the rifle beside him, but kept his arm around her, pulling her close.
She pressed into him, her head on his shoulder, and they watched the moving scenery before them. This wasn't only his world. It belonged to the mountain. It needed to be seen and felt.
The sun had dipped low behind the ridge, casting long shadows across the trail as Mac and Lauren made their way back from the waterfall. The air was cooler now. The hike down was easier, but quieter. He no longer had to point out the terrain and give her advice on navigating over the rocks.
Lauren walked beside him, her fingers brushing his every so often, not needing to hold his hand but always close enough to remind him she was there. There was something he needed to tell her.
Mac cleared his throat, breaking the silence, eyes fixed on the trail ahead. "I don't talk about this much."
She glanced at him, waiting.
"When Tara got pregnant," he said slowly, "I wasn't ready. Not for a kid. Not for the kind of responsibility that comes with being someone's father. Beckett and Cord and I had been running the campground for several years at that time, still learning what we should and shouldn't do."
Lauren didn't speak, just listened.
"I'm not blaming Tara," he added quickly. "She didn't do anything wrong. But I realized then how easily I could mess up my life. One careless, irresponsible moment—and everything changes."
She stopped and faced him.
He paused and rubbed his jaw through his beard.
"I wouldn't trade being Jetter's dad for anything.
He's the best thing that ever happened to me.
But after getting Tara pregnant, I stopped trusting myself.
Stopped trusting other people. I worried that if I changed too much, tried to build something new, I'd screw it up again.
" He cringed, the words catching in his throat. "Jetter wasn't a mistake."
Lauren's gaze softened but remained steady. "I know what you're trying to say."
He looked at her, unsure. "I've never had to explain myself to anyone before.
"Any relationship is hard," she said. "It makes us vulnerable. It asks us to risk things we're not always ready to give up."
"I lost trust in other people." He ran his hand down his beard. "But it was really the trust I lost in myself by being careless."
"I get it." She took a breath. "I grew up feeling like a disappointment to my parents. They love me, I know that. But I never fit into the mold they wanted. I wasn't the daughter they imagined. And for a long time, I tried to be. I tried to live my life for them."
He cupped her cheek, strumming his thumb against her soft skin. The thought of anyone growing up, thinking they weren't enough, bothered him. He would never want that for his son. And, he hated that Lauren went through it.
Her voice dropped. "It made me miserable, so..."
Mac's chest tightened.
"I had to choose myself," she said. "Even if it meant letting them down sometimes. Even if it meant being misunderstood. Even if it means not getting the support I wanted from them."
He reached for her hand, threading his fingers through hers. "I can't imagine not loving you for who you are."
She smiled and ducked her head.
"I'm in love with you," he said. "You know that, right?"
She raised her gaze. "You are?"
"I knew it the moment you got on your hands and knees and looked in a prairie dog hole with my son." He chuckled. "I just had to convince myself that I could trust myself with you."
They stood there for a moment, the mountain quiet around them, the wind rustling through the trees like it was listening in to their private conversation.
Then they walked together down the trail, side by side. His steps forward were a little more certain about the future.