Chapter 6 Monroe
Chapter six
Monroe
What did he just say? Oh, God. My heart can't take the words if he doesn't mean them. I freeze, but he doesn't say anything else. I lay against Drake's chest, listening to his heart, wishing I could fall asleep like this every night for the rest of my life.
"I can hear you thinking, bombshell." Drake mumbles against my hair, kissing the top of my head like he's done it a million times before. "Open that gorgeous mouth and talk to me."
My heart squeezes, wishing his lusty, territorial proclamations in the heat of the moment were promises I could hold him to.
But he made it clear when I pulled up to his door that he wants to be alone, and tomorrow, I will have to leave him with nothing but these memories. I smile through the pain, forcing my voice to remain light.
"What's your story, Drake?" I sit up on my elbow, looking at his sexy rumpled hair. I did that. And I would really love to do it again. Preferably while I ride his face. I swallow hard and ask an easier question. "How'd you end up in my cabin?"
Drake chuckles. "I think you mean my cabin."
I grin, loving his playful side. "Seriously, though. From what I can tell, you haven't always lived in the mountains like a recluse."
He's quiet so long I think he's not going to tell me anything, which is a huge red flag, but then, like a Christmas miracle—
he starts talking.
"Up until March, I worked for Stanley Reed in the city." Drake looks at me, and I raise my eyebrows in surprise. Stanley Reed is a huge multi-billion dollar international consulting firm. It's incredibly prestigious and difficult to get on board there, even for graduates of top MBA programs.
"I was a workaholic. I lived in a beautiful apartment in the city, which was expensive, but I made a significant amount of money and it was close to work." Drake plays with my hair, curling it around his finger while he talks.
"In the spring, I was offered a partnership in the company."
"Holy shit," I breathe out. He was a big deal.
Drake nods and continues twirling my hair around his finger.
"I worked eighty hours a week for over a decade, trying to become partner.
And then, I got it. That night, I went home to my empty apartment, with a bottle of expensive scotch and a cupcake that I picked up at the corner store.
It was the most depressing celebration I could have imagined.
I didn't have any friends to meet up with.
They're all married and running their kids to activities or putting them to bed at night.
No partner, no pets. I didn't even have the time to keep a plant alive, and I just thought, what is the point? Why am I doing all of this?"
I snuggle against Drake, letting him talk.
"I never traveled. But honestly, do I even want to travel? Do I like reading? Should I pick up jogging? I don't know. I was so focused on one goal, but I never questioned why I was hustling so hard for it."
He pulls me against him tightly, and I kiss his chest. "When I got out of college, I had three internships under my belt and five job offers. I took the most prestigious one and never looked back."
I shiver as Drake runs his fingers over the side of my breast, but he doesn't seem to be trying to start up again. He just can't seem to keep his hands off of me.
"My drive was enough to keep me going. But now, I'm well into my mid-30s, and I don't even know who I am.
I'm a third of the way through my life, and I haven't even lived it yet.
I went into work the next day, turned down the partnership, and gave them a month's notice.
Then, I found this cabin online and booked it for the next year while I tried to figure my shit out. "
I lift up on my elbow again, and he gazes at me with something that looks a lot like love. My heart soars.
"I purposely picked this location, hoping I could figure out how to make it up to my sister. She married my best friend a few years ago. He's been in love with her since we were kids, and I ruined it for them back then."
He grimaces, a look of guilt and misery crossing his face. "They reconnected and married overnight practically. They have a kid. I'm an uncle, but the shittiest one you could imagine. I've never even met the little guy."
I wrap my arms around Drake and squeeze, my heart hurting for him from the pain I hear in his voice.
"I've headed down the mountain to Duhring Park at least once a month since I've been here thinking I'll just show up to Scarlett and Levi's home, and then, I turn around and head back up the mountain. I'm still not living life, Monroe, and I can't tell you how much I want to change that."
Green flag. I'll take honest over pretty any day. Any man that can reflect on his worst days is someone I can appreciate.
I sit up, my hand on his cheek as I gaze into his eyes. "As someone who has lost family, you don't want to look back on these days and wish you hadn't wasted away the years. Your parents aren't getting any younger, you know, and it seems like you're avoiding them too."
"Who did you lose?" Drake looks at me with the pity that I typically avoid at all costs, but for him, I gaze right back.
"My mom. It's been fourteen years, but some days it feels like it just happened.
" I lay back down with him, and he pulls me in tight.
"I haven't enjoyed Christmas since she died.
It used to be our favorite time of year.
She made it so incredibly special. I always thought if I had kids someday, I would do the same for them, but now I'm wondering if I'm just broken forever. "
And then Drake says the one thing I need to hear from someone: "You are broken, but not ruined."
A tear slips out, and I don't even try to stop it. Sex, unloading my life story, and now crying. I'm definitely not following all the first-date advice, but screw it.
"I started therapy last year. My therapist said it's important to create my own traditions, even if they aren't ones that I thought I might have in the future." I put my hand on his chest, and he holds it in place with his.
"Drake, I think you're brave for making a change. I've worked in finance since I got out of college, going on ten years."
He was honest with me, so I'm going to be honest with him. Even if I'm terrified that my uncertainty about the future will be too much for someone going through the same thing. I take a deep breath, turning my head so I can look at him.
"I inherited some money when my mom passed, and I bought a little building in Maple Ridge.
I live in the studio apartment over the store and rent out the bottom space.
I work from home. My expenses are pretty minimal, so I've saved a lot of money over the years.
I'm thinking of quitting my job and figuring out what I want to do with my life.
I haven't been able to pull the trigger, but maybe you're giving me the confidence to figure it out. "
Drake gazes at me and then nods seriously. "We're getting you a new car, Monroe." Drake pulls me against him tightly, seemingly ignoring my confession of a mid-life—or, I guess, third-of-my-life—crisis as well.
"What? No," I say, bewildered by his response.
"Monroe," Drake starts, gearing up for a fight.
"It reminds me of my mom. No." I don't look at him, knowing I sound crazy.
He's silent for a moment, and I can tell he's fighting that stubborn streak of his. "Fine. Then we'll have the engine rebuilt so it's more reliable. No arguments."
"Fine," I grit out like it's a concession, but inside my heart thrills.
He's using "we" language.
"Does this mean you want me to stay the weekend?" I ask, my nerves bouncing around my body like tiny little toddlers.
"No," Drake says, sitting up and pulling me with him as my stomach drops. Tears prick behind my eyes, and I briefly consider trying to make it down the mountain in the blizzard because the sound of my sobbing is going to make it hard for either of us to get any sleep tonight.
And then his deep voice surrounds me like a warm hug.
"I want you to stay forever."
If crying on a first date is not allowed, then doing it twice is surely frowned upon, but I can't stop the waterworks. I sob out tears of relief and sheer joy.
Drake pulls me toward him and kisses me with all the passion of a man who knows what he wants. Our tongues caress one another, as our hands explore each other's body, taking our time now that we don't have a clock ticking down on our moment together.
I pull back, breathing hard.
"Merry Christmas, Drake," I say, biting my lip as I grin at the man who has managed to capture my entire heart in less than twenty-four hours.
Drake grins back at me. "Marry me, Monroe."