Chapter 26
Conner
A lot of the main streets blocked because of the Blossom Festival so I’m weaving through a back way that takes us much longer because they go out of the way before they curve back towards civilization.
Taylor’s silently wringing her hands in her lap, staring straight ahead.
“He’ll be okay.” Grabbing her hand, I squeeze it. “He’ll be okay.”
If I say it three times, will it be true?
In times of crisis, I’m always calm. Flipping out can come later when the chaos is over. Right now, I’m a rock for Taylor and her mom to lean on and will help however I can.
“It could be a false alarm,” Taylor murmurs. “But… I’ve had a horrible bad feeling for days. What if this is it?”
Maybe. Or what if that horrible feeling is just because she drank too much caffeine on an empty stomach?
“We don’t know what’s going on yet,” I remind her.
But Corrine sounded terrified over the phone. Not that I’m going to tell Taylor that.
We fall into silence again and I break all the speed limits to get us to the hospital faster. Dropping Taylor off at the door, she jumps out before I can say anything and is running through the glass doors.
I park. Make my way inside. And freeze.
I’m not family. Do I even have a right to go past the waiting area to be with them? Maybe I should sit out here and be patient.
Dropping into a chair, I rest my elbows on my knees and fall into all kinds of damage control situations. What if it’s a heart attack, can they stop it in time? What if he needs surgery, will it make him all better? What if he dies? Holy shit, I can’t even go down that road.
My leg bobs, my nerves are shot, and I want to bust down the door and find Russel to see if he’s okay myself. Buring my head in my hands, I take deep breaths and try to come up with a way to spin this shit from doom to bloom.
What if it’s a heart attack turns into if it is, we’re in the best place possible to get him help.
What if he needs surgery turns into he’s a healthy man and is also in the best place to get his ticker fixed.
What if he dies turns into the worst-case scenario and the only truth about that is I’ll be there to take care of his family.
I’ll never let Corrine and Taylor want for anything.
Russel can rest easy knowing both his girls are safe and loved.
I’m going to throw up.
Don’t die… don’t die… don’t die.
“Conner!”
I look up at the sound of Taylor’s voice, but she’s all blurry because my eyes are leaking again. I’m going to need to work on my inner plumbing. Pulling my hat off, I wring it in my hands and stand up. “Is he…”
“They’re taking him back for an x-ray.”
An x-ray? Is that proper procedure for a heart attack? Hope blooms in my chest. Maybe it wasn’t a heart attack at all and just indigestion or something? Or did he fall and hurt himself and didn’t tell anybody until the pain got worse?
“Come back with us.”
A breath shudders out of me. “Are you sure?”
Taylor grabs my arms and tugs me along. “Of course, I’m sure. You’re family, Con. He even asked for you before they took him.”
Why on earth would Russel ask for me?
I don’t like this.
Numbly following my girl, we land in a tiny room with a gurney, monitors, and Corrine. Her eyes are red-rimmed and she’s still in pajamas.
“Conner.” She’s on me in a flash, hugging me. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze tight.
My own mother never hugged me. Never showed affection or compassion. The most I ever got from her was a half-ass smile when I’d hand over my paycheck or some groceries.
I came from two hateful, angry people while Taylor was raised with love and happiness. Corrine hugs me like I’m her own. Like she loves me. Like she wants nothing from me other than my company.
My voice cracks when I ask, “What happened?”
“He must have been having chest pain for a while and didn’t say anything.
We were both running errands this morning to get candy for the parade and once we were about halfway to the festival, he seemed uncomfortable.
Kept shifting, wincing. He’s been complaining about his arthritis and back a lot lately and I dismissed it because he always fusses about those things.
But when he clutched his chest in the car, I came straight here, fearing the worst.”
Guilt chokes me out.
“He looked awful,” she continues. “All flushed and sweaty. His breathing was hard and fast too.”
Oh no, that’s bad. “What did the doctor say?”
“Nothing yet. They did blood work and an EKG. We have to wait for another round of those to see if there are any changes.”
“How long?” Taylor asks.
“I don’t know.”
“Okay.” I take a deep breath. “Well, he’s in the best place so that’s good.”
Russel’s boisterous laughter hits our ears all at once. “That’s really something.”
“Full moons in the ER are a wild time,” the nurse says, wheeling him back into the room.
She gets him into bed and makes sure all his monitors are good before she leaves.
He’s got all these sticky tabs on him too.
And for the first time ever, he looks older than I’ve ever realized.
Corrine’s a decade younger than him. The age gap never hit me before today.
“You all are fussing over me like I’m about to die.”
Corrine’s lip quivers.
“I’m telling you, sweetheart. This is nothing. Just heartburn.”
“That’s what they all say, then it turns out to be something way worse, Dad.” Taylor sits in the only empty seat left in the room and I lean against the wall, trying to shrink myself as small as possible. I’m still not sure I should be here.
Russel glances at me and shrugs.
We wait and wait and wait.
More blood is drawn. Another EKG happens.
The longer we’re there, the better Russel looks. That’s good, right? Why haven’t they come back to check his monitors again? Where is a nurse?
I’m going stir crazy. I need to put myself to use. Grab them drinks. Rub Taylor’s shoulders. Get Corrine a candy bar from the vending machine. Make Russel laugh by telling him some funny shit that happened a while back with some of the guys at work.
Eventually the doctor comes in and gives us the best news. “Everything looks great. Your bloodwork and tests all came back normal.”
Russel bristles. “See. I told you it was heartburn.”
“Actually, your symptoms align more with anxiety,” the doc says. “Have you been stressed over anything lately, Mr. Larson?”
He makes a face as if the question is preposterous. “No. I don’t worry about nothing.”
“Well, how about you take it easy for a few days. Get some rest. Keep hydrated. No being out in the sun doing anything strenuous.”
Now he looks like a kid who just got grounded. “I have work. I’m a landscaper.”
“Well, you should take off for a bit. Let your boss know what’s happened. And if there is anything stressing you out, you need to address it.” She flashes us a neutral smile. “The nurse will come in with discharge papers soon. Have a great day.”
Corrine’s so relieved, she melts into her chair. “Thank goodness.”
“Dad, what’s been worrying you?” Taylor asks.
“Nothing.”
I know this man well enough to tell that he’s lying. Taylor sees it too.
“Well, no work for a while,” she states, like she has any chance of being in charge of her strong-willed, stubborn father.
“Honey, I—”
“I’ll take over until you’re feeling a hundred percent,” I say, standing straighter. “Don’t worry about anything other than getting back on your feet.”
“I can be on my feet now,” he argues. “You all just like making a mountain out of a mole hill. I’m telling you I’m fine.”
“And I’m telling you, you’re stepping back!” Corrine’s never yelled like that before, as far as I know. It’s that altered behavior that has Russel obeying his wife.
“Okay.” He grabs her hand and squeezes it. “Okay, sweetheart.”
We get that man home, his feet up, steak grilling, potatoes roasting, and carrots glazing in honey because that’s his favorite meal.
Taylor stays with her mother while I run to the store and grab a bunch of stuff they put on a list for me.
By the time the sun goes down, Russ is snoring on the couch in front of the TV and Taylor and I hit the road.
“Thank you,” she says quietly as we drive back to her place. “For being there with us today.”
“Always.” I rest my hand on her thigh. “I’m glad he’s okay.”
“Me too.”
We don’t talk the rest of the way home, but I think both of us have a lot racing in our minds.
“Conner,” she says as we pull up to her house. “Don’t let today sway you.”
My heart skids to a stop.
She turns and hits me with a worried gaze. “Don’t back out of your dreams just because of today.”
But I’ve already decided that any dreams I have need to wait, or go away, or be someone else’s.
There’s no way I could walk away from Larson Landscaping without feeling like a grade-a piece of shit now.
Russ is so stressed trying to juggle all the jobs, he had what can only be assumed was an anxiety attack.
For a man who never gets flustered over anything, that’s serious.
“I have to get up early for work,” I say softly.
“You’re not staying the night?”
“Can’t.”
All my work clothes and boots are back at my place. My little hiatus is over.
“Okay,” she says, and guilt makes my gut twist.
When Taylor pushes my truck door open to get out, I grab her wrist and gently pull her back to me. Leaning across the console, I kiss her. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
The next morning is mayhem.