Chapter 30
Taylor
I’m going on a date with Conner tonight. Why, of all things, does this make me nervous?
I’ve had his dick in my mouth, for crying out loud.
But I’m super excited and my nerves are all over the place, and I can’t shake this weird feeling that something’s about to happen.
Something bad.
Maybe I need to sage myself. I don’t know why I haven’t been able to shake this awful feeling out of my system, and it’s been there for weeks. Since before my dad had his heart attack scare.
Logically, I think it’s that I’m still stuck in “It’s too good to be true” mode and I’m waiting for Conner and I to blow up.
But every day that passes seems to solidify us more and more.
I’ve never been happier. Being his girlfriend is effortless.
Fun and exciting. It’s exactly what you hope for when you find your person.
While we divided and conquered our separate to do lists this afternoon, I over-thought my entire date outfit.
I want to look special. Feel beautiful. Conner’s hot as hell and I want to match his energy.
But all I have are hippie dresses and faded jeans and band T-shirts.
And unless I’m wearing my favorite black boots or flip-flops, all my fancy shoes are so old and cheap they’re legit cracking and falling apart.
I really need to clean out my closet and get rid of some of this shit. Why did I hold on to it for so long?
My cell goes off and it’s Carly. “Hey! Damn, it’s about time.”
“Sorry!” It sounds loud in the background. “My life is not my own anymore. It’s crazy here lately.”
I hate that, but if she’s happy, then so be it. “Everything okay?”
“Oh yeah, yeah. Anyways, what’s up with you? How’s Conner?”
“Amazing. Perfect. Incredible.”
Carly laughs. “I can’t believe how long this love story took, girl. Wow.”
“Shut up.”
“You should have listened to me forever ago.”
“I know.”
“Better late than never.”
“Yup.”
I toss some more old clothes onto my bed. Guess I’m overhauling my closet now. Might as well since Conner is moving in soon and he’ll need space here too. “We’re going on a date tonight.”
“Oh! Where to?”
“No idea. Someplace fancy, he said. He’s making reservations and picking me up at seven.”
“What are you going to wear?”
“All I have are old sundresses and dumb shoes.”
“Wear the white one and your black boots.”
“Carly, I can’t wear that to a nice restaurant.”
“Why not?”
“Because. People will stare and I won’t fit in and—”
“Conner loves the white one with the ribbon across the neckline. Do you still have that?”
“Yes.” It’s my favorite and I’ve basically worn it down to the bare threads. I’m wearing it right now, actually. “Wait. How the hell do you know that?”
“Everyone knows that,” she says and I swear she just rolled her eyes. I can feel it.
“A tattered white sundress and my black boots. To dinner. In a restaurant.”
“If you haven’t learned that being yourself is the only way to live, then I can’t help you, girl.”
She’s right. I feel best in my favorite things. And when I feel my best, I’m happy. If Conner loves it too, then it’s a win-win. “Okay. I’ll wear it.”
My cell beeps with another call. “Shit, my mom’s calling. Hold on a sec.”
“I gotta get back to work anyway. Have fun at dinner! Love you!”
“Love you!” I switch callers. “Hey mom, what’s up?”
“Hi honey. Do you have any free time today?”
Not really. “Um. Why? Are you okay?” I clutch my cell harder. “Is dad alright? He’s not trying to get on the roof to repair those loose shingles, is he?”
“No, no. He hired Nick for that last week.”
Phew. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to give you something I found. Can you meet me at the park in town? I’m running errands all day.”
I check the time. “Um. Sure. Yeah. Now?”
“Now works.”
“Okay, see you soon.”
My gut twists as I put on my black boots and leave the house.
I park on the side of the road in front of the playground and easily spot my mother on a bench. “Hey.”
“Hi.” She looks like she’s been crying. Oh no. “Here. I found this for you.” Mom holds out an old Larson Landscaping bucket.
I take it, and now I’m more confused than ever. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”
“Look inside.”
There’s a folded piece of paper in it that says, “Magic Potion.”
My hands shake when I pull it out because it’s in Conner’s handwriting. Unfolding it, my breath catches when I read, Do you remember how to make it?
Mom’s eyes are bright with unshed tears and she’s got this big warm smile on her face. The kind that would also shoot right into mine and make it calm.
Exhaling a shaky breath, I turn and look around the park. It’s packed with kids playing and families picnicking. But then I spot my dad standing at the corner where the slides are. He’s patiently waiting with his hands clasped in front of him.
I walk over and see his chin quivering.
“Sticks only as big as this,” he says, holding up his pinky finger.
At his feet there are a pile of twigs waiting for me. I scoop them up and drop them into my bucket. Then I frantically look around for Conner and spot Dean instead. Heading over to him, I can’t stop myself from shaking.
“Berries.” He holds out a little basket. “Any you can find.”
Grace stands next to him and winks as she keeps her cell phone steady. I think she’s recording this.
Sniffling, I scoop the berries into my hands and sprinkle them in the bucket. Then I wipe the berry juice all over my dress as the first tear slides down my face.
I scan the area for Conner again but see Bennet instead. I think I float to him.
“Leaves,” he says, twirling one between his fingers.
I pluck it from him and drop it in. Then gather the small pile by his feet that’s waiting for me.
Brushing my hands off on my dress again, I glance around, desperate to find Conner.
Nick waves subtly under the big tree. I hurry over to him and my face feels numb. My limbs are tingling. He looks into the bucket and grins. “Almost done. I think it just needs one more thing.”
He hands me a stick to stir it.
Covering my mouth, more tears spring from my eyes. I can’t even see the damn bucket anymore. Everything in it is a blurry mess. But you best believe I stir it.
“Where do I dump it?” I ask, hiccupping as I quietly cry.
“I think you’ll find the perfect spot.” Nick winks and steps back, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
I scan the park over and over and everything gets blurry, and noises are muffled, so I walk to wherever my feet take me.
Where the shade trees are clustered.
There, Conner is holding a bouquet of wildflowers and is on his knees in the dirt because the grass doesn’t grow in this spot since there isn’t enough sunlight.
A shaky breath rattles out of me when I reach him.
His brown eyes are big and beautiful, and his voice is so calm when he says, “You have to dump it out for the fairies.”
Nodding because I can’t make words, I pour out the bucket slowly and something sparkly catches my eye. I quietly sob as I get on my knees and spread the leaves and sticks out of the way to retrieve it.
And because I can’t stop crying, I can’t find it again!
“Here,” Conner says softly. He plucks the ring out of the magic potion and holds it up to me. He’s not shaking like me. He’s not crying like me. He’s not a mess like me.
“Taylor Rose Larson, will you marry me?”
I cup my hands over my mouth and try to pull myself together so I can respond.
“This is the part where you say yes,” he whispers playfully. “Otherwise, you’ll probably piss off the fairies.”
A laugh bursts out of me, and I nod and grab him and hug him so hard I might pop his head off. “Yes!”
Our family and friends cheer and clap. Conner looks like he could fly to the moon. I think I’m floating through the Milky Way.
This is the best day of my life.
So why can’t I shake this bad feeling?