Chapter 18
Kacey
I’m warm and comfortable. That’s the first thing I think when I begin to slowly come out of my sleep haze. As I open my eyes, I realize I’m still in the barn, facing Hooch’s stall where he stands, sound asleep. The sun peeks in the windows as I lift my head off—Knox?
Oh shit. I fell asleep on Knox. And he stayed here, holding me. All night.
I look down and see we’re holding hands. When did that happen? He’s like a furnace with his other arm wrapped around me, keeping me warm.
He’s still asleep, his breaths deep, body completely relaxed.
I take a moment to study his facial features.
It feels funny to say a man is beautiful, but he is.
His defined jawline with his short, trimmed facial hair, eyebrows and lashes a shade darker than his hair.
Curly hair that flips up around the band of his baseball cap.
Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen him in a cowboy hat, but I’d like to.
There is something about a man in a cowboy hat.
Gently, I start to pull my hand from his, but he stirs.
“Hey, what time is it? How’s—” He doesn’t finish when he looks up and sees Hooch standing in his stall sleeping. It’s a good sign; he’s feeling better.
Clearing my throat, I pull my hand from his and sit up. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I can’t believe we slept here. You should have woken me up.”
He cracks a yawn and stretches his arms out before smiling at me. “It was worth it.”
I don’t know how to respond to that. I’ve never had a man who cared enough about me to stay up half the night taking care of a sick horse, then hold me while I slept outside of the stall.
When he told me he was staying to help me last night, my immediate reaction was to make him leave.
I’ve walked and medicated colicky horses by myself before.
I’m not saying it’s fun to manage by myself, but I can do it.
I know he knew that. He knew I could handle it alone, but I didn’t have to because he’s here.
He wants to be with me, no matter what we’re doing.
His patience and kindness doesn’t just extend to horses; he’s also extended it to me.
I’ve built up my walls and kept him at arm’s length since he’s gotten here, but he still shows up every day with a smile on his face, excited to see me.
He hasn’t pushed me for more; he lets me set the pace of whatever this relationship is between us.
I don’t know what to make of it. He’s only here for a few weeks…
but he could come back. That’s what my dad said.
And when I gave in and Googled him, I learned he’s not just a good bull rider, he’s a great bull rider.
With his regular season earnings and sponsors, he’s financially set.
I’m starting to wonder if he isn’t like Garrett.
Maybe he doesn’t just want me for the ranch and my family’s money. Maybe he wants me for me.
It’s a startling realization, and I don’t fully trust it. Then again, I don’t fully trust my own judgment when it comes to men in general. But waking up next to him felt safe; it felt like I belonged there. I stand up from the hay bale to put some distance between us and gather my thoughts.
Hooch opens his eyes and flicks his ears forward to me when I reach his stall.
When I don’t move to open his stall door, he turns his ass to me, ready to go back to sleep.
Pretty ungrateful considering I stayed up most of the night making sure he didn’t, you know, die.
From a tummy ache, of all things. Horses are ridiculously high maintenance.
Hay crunches as Knox stands and joins me. “Looks like he’s feeling better,” he says from behind me, and I nod my head in response.
We stand in silence for several minutes, watching Hooch doze off again, before Knox’s boots scrape across the barn floor and he comes up so close behind me I can smell his bergamot and leather scent wrap around me.
“Your thoughts are pretty loud. Want to share them?”
I turn around to face him, finding his blue eyes studying me. “Not really. I don’t think what they’re wanting is very wise.”
Because what I want is to kiss him. What I want is to feel his hands on me again. Most of all, what I want is to stop having a sinking feeling in my stomach every time I think about letting my guard down around another man. And how Knox might be the one to take that feeling away.
He cocks his head to the side, confused by my statement. But understanding flares in his eyes when my eyes flick down to his lips, and my tongue swipes out to wet my own. His hands are on me in less than a second—one sliding around my hip, one coming up my neck to cup my jaw.
I don’t think. I grab the front of his shirt, pull him to me, and kiss him.
He meets me in the middle, his lips finding mine.
And I feel like I’ve never been kissed before. This is what I’ve been missing my entire life. His fingers thread into my hair and a rush of heat runs through me. He tilts my head, giving himself better access, before his tongue runs along my lower lip, seeking entry.
I jerk back, breaking the kiss. “Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry. I probably have morning breath, and I just slept in a barn.” My cheeks turn red with mortification.
Why did I make this our first kiss? I am such an—
His hands move to cup my face, halting my thoughts. “I’ve been waiting to kiss you since the first day I met you, when I saw your kind smile and green eyes. I don’t give a fuck about morning breath,” he growls before pulling me back in for a searing kiss.
I melt into him and his words. He kisses me like I’m the air he breathes and I kiss him back. This time feels less like discovery and more like an all-consuming need.
If this is how Knox kisses, what would it be like if I surrendered entirely?
We hear a truck pull up outside of the barn, and Knox pulls away. He tucks loose strands of my blonde hair behind my ears. “I better go. I have appointments this morning.”
My heart pounds as I try to catch my breath, but my mind catches up far before my body. Before I can stop myself, I blurt, “I don’t date.”
Knox’s eyes go wide for a split second before he masks his surprise with a wicked grin. “I agree. You don’t date—anyone but me.” He winks as he heads for the door, leaving me stunned in silence. “Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart,” he calls back before disappearing out the door.
What? That is not what I meant. I can’t date him. The sentiment behind his words whenever you’re ready has a swarm of butterflies taking off in my stomach. I don’t know what to do or think. Knox seems genuine, but I can’t take the heartache; not again.
But the little voice in the back of my head asks, what if he doesn’t break your heart?