Chapter 33
Kacey
There are people everywhere as we make our way to the closest drink stand and get in line. I heard someone say it’s sold out all four nights.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell him this is your birthday trip. We do this every year. He looked so hurt,” Jessie chastises me.
I sigh, looking down at my boots on the blacktop.
“I thought about it. I just didn’t want to put any extra pressure on him.
I know Knox, he’d want to do something special, but he doesn’t have time right now.
I don’t want him to lose sleep just so he can get a little more time with me or make a big deal of it.
” I look up and find Jessie watching me.
“This is his busiest time of year, he’s tired and sore.
I don’t want anything to get in the way of his goals. ”
“I can understand that. From what you’ve told me, he hasn’t had supportive partners in the past. He’s lucky to have you.
” Jessie loops her arm through mine and leans her head on my shoulder.
“Ya know, he looks at you like you’re a Disney Princess.
” She sighs dramatically. “I want a man to look at me like that someday.”
“You’ll find that. I’m sure of it.” I give her arm a squeeze.
We had just grabbed our drinks—Jessie ordered two for each of us so we don’t have to go back for a while—when my phone vibrates.
Knox
It looks pretty packed out there. Those passes don’t have assigned seats, but there are bleachers back here you can sit in. Go to the walk-through gate on the east side and you’ll see them.
Kacey
Okay, thanks.
I turn to Jessie. “Looks like we’re rolling VIP tonight. We can use these passes to get to a set of bleachers in the back.”
She holds both drinks up in the air and hoots. “Fuck yeah. Let’s get out of this crowd. I hate people.”
We find the gate easily, show the security guard our passes and he lets us right through. We are seated in the small bleachers; they’re front row seats right next to the roping boxes. We have a good view of the bucking chutes as well.
“These are awesome seats,” Jessie comments before taking a drink of her beer. Her hands—always covered in rings—catch on the arena lights.
I watch her look around like she’s looking for someone. “Yeah, they are. So, you want to tell me what that silent thing between you and Trey was about?”
Her head whips back around to face me. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she huffs.
I scoff. “Yeah, sure. Your stare down with serious eye contact was nothing.”
She shifts in her seat and takes another drink before fessing up. “Okay, fine. He’s extremely attractive. One hundred percent my type. Happy?”
I nod. “And?” I draw out the word.
“You could’ve warned me. Don’t think I didn’t hear your comment about dominance, asshole.
” She squints her eyes at me. “He might be pretty, but he’s a player.
I could tell just by watching him walk up.
Besides, I’m not interested in dating a bull rider.
I’m a nurse, I see enough torn-up bodies at work. I don’t need one at home.”
I don’t need her to remind me of the dangers of this sport.
It’s all I can think about every time Knox climbs into the chute.
I have to remind myself to breathe, release the white-knuckle grip I have my fists in, and trust that he’s a professional, takes every precaution he can, and he knows what he’s doing.
He’s going to be fine. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself, and hopefully someday I can believe it.
I glance at the chutes, then look down. My stomach turns. “Right.”
She immediately turns and grabs my arm. “I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean Knox. I don’t even mean it like that at all,” she rushes to say. “I just don’t need more to worry about in my life. I can barely take care of myself and Gran.”
I squeeze her knee. “It’s okay, I know what you mean. And you’re right, they get hurt. It’s more of a question of how bad, not when.”
She tsks. “Nah, not Knox. Have you seen that man? He’s jacked. You could throw him in a hurricane, and he’d walk out without a scratch.” She bumps my shoulder, trying to lighten the mood.
I chuckle and shoulder bump her back, but the conversation has sobered my mood. “Yeah, yeah. I’ve seen him shirtless. You’re not wrong.”
We make a drinking game of anyone who bucks off or misses their calf.
Pretty soon, our cups are empty and they’re rolling the barrel out to start the bull riding.
While the alcohol has relaxed me some, I’m still a ball of nerves.
How do the other girlfriends and wives handle this?
Knowing each night someone you love risks their life for a paycheck and sport they love?
I don’t know if I can do this. But I’m not sure what scares me more, the danger of the sport or the thought of not being with Knox anymore.
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.
“Looks like Trey will be before Knox tonight. He has his helmet on and looks ready to go.” I’m already sitting on the edge of my seat, bouncing my knee. If I thought I got nervous at home, this is ten times worse.
Jessie, however, is not nervous at all. She’s braiding a small lock of her hair, humming along to the music they’re playing over the loudspeakers.
Now that I think about it, she might be the perfect bull rider’s girlfriend if she’d let herself.
Her exposure to injuries, stressful childhood, and penchant for living a little on the wild side would have her fitting right in.
The first bull rider makes it to the corner when the bull starts to spin, but his inside foot comes up and he nearly hits the back of the bull’s head with his facemask.
He’s able to block the hit with his free hand, but the bull's momentum sends the guy’s body twirling in a helicopter motion, while his hand is still caught in his rope.
I hold my breath, watching the bullfighters move in to help him.
Once there is enough G-force put on his arm, his hand pops out and he goes flying, landing in a heap on the dirt. He scurries to his feet and tries to limp back to the chutes as fast as he can, clearly in pain. The bull leaves the arena, then the bullfighters help him the rest of the way to safety.
All of a sudden, it sinks in. Knox could die. It doesn’t happen often, but bull riders can die. His words play back in my head.
Danger is very real, but fear is a choice.
Knox knows how dangerous it is and chooses to do it, anyway. I don’t know if I can handle this, but I know I can’t lose what we have, so for now, I will shove my fear into a box and pray this gets easier with time.
Jessie taps me on the knee. “Here’s Trey.”
She sits up and leans forward so she can see through the fence better.
I can see Knox pulling Trey’s bull rope and saying something to him as he wraps his rope around his hand.
The announcer lists Trey’s wins and career highlights. “This man is on track for his second trip to the national finals rodeo in December. He’s proven time and time again he can ride the buckers. Show’em tonight, Trey.” They start playing a Score song and he nods his head.
The chute gate flies open and his bull kicks hard and stutter steps out two jumps.
He turns back to the left, away from Trey’s hand, but it doesn’t affect him.
He looks completely in control. The crowd grows louder and louder each round Trey makes on the bull.
Knox is hollering from the back of the bucking chutes.
At seven seconds, he gets yanked to the outside but doesn’t let go.
He has one foot under the bull and the other one coming across his back, but he hasn’t hit the ground yet.
The whistle blows and he opens his hand right as the bull jumps forward, throwing Trey through the air.
He tucks into a ball, doing a couple of somersaults before he pops up onto his feet like nothing happened.
He throws his arms in the air, hyping up the crowd.
I can’t help but laugh. “Well, he clearly lives for the crowd’s attention.” I turn to Jessie.
She has her eyes locked on Trey, following him across the arena as he picks up his bull rope. “I have a feeling Trey lives for attention, period,” she replies.