13. Chapter Ten
Chapter Ten
Lila
M om: Oh my. That dress seems so uncomfortable for a night being surrounded by people. I hope you have fun!
I sighed as I saw Mom’s text. I hope you have fun meant she probably didn’t want to hear more about my wild night. She’d grown increasingly distant from this part of my life ever since I moved to LA. Whenever Lila was involved, she stayed out of it.
All I wanted was to talk to someone about my night. My dress, while beautiful with its bright colors, was itchy and heavy, and there were sequins everywhere.
And now I dreaded going to a movie premiere I should have been excited about. Months ago, I recorded a song for a movie a friend directed. While it wasn’t my best, I was excited to see the scene that it was featured in.
I’d hidden in my room after squeezing inside to get one photo of myself to show her what I was up to, but I should have known her response wouldn’t have been helpful.
I’d been told I needed something eye-catching since Blaze and I were supposed to be seen together at this premiere for the first time in the nearly three months I was in Nashville.
The problem with eye-catching in LA was that everyone went for it. And then everything was all too much. We were still in the car, but I could see the glam from our spot at the curb.
I’d stick out more if I were wearing leggings and a T-shirt at this event, but Mia would never let me leave the house like that.
I said yes to getting dolled up for this because Mia told me Blaze’s interviews hadn’t fully calmed fans. They were dying to know if everything was okay. I’d checked social media myself the second I was back in LA, and she was right. They wanted to see us together.
In Nashville, I hadn’t focused on social media nearly as much. But here, I was reminded every day of everything I needed to be in order to keep people happy.
There were more paparazzi than guests at this premiere and everyone was waiting to see me walk down the red carpet.
I didn’t know how I was supposed to pretend to be in love with Blaze when my mind was with Barry back in Nashville, but everyone was done with my delays. Especially Mia.
“No more of this mood you’ve been in,” she had said as I got dressed. “You had your break and now we’re back in business.”
“Right.”
“Stand close to him,” Mia instructed. “Cover your left hand. We want to spark some engagement rumors.”
I promised myself I wouldn’t mess this up.
I tried to push back the feeling of disgust that I felt when I saw Blaze waiting in the limo. He wore a designer suit with a multicolored tie that matched my dress. Once upon a time, I would have loved that we were in similar colors. Now, I wanted to change my outfit and sink into being Rose.
My fists tightened. I didn’t usually have this hard of a time making people happy. The fans were going to love seeing us together.
But I knew I didn’t want to. This feeling of defiance was new to me.
If Barry were here, he’d tell me to do whatever I wanted. He’d tell me to change, to say fuck Blaze, and follow my heart, which was in Nashville.
I imagined it for one second: the feeling of leaving and finding something better. But after that second, I pushed it away and walked to the car where Blaze was. As I got in, his eyes were on his phone.
“Look,” he said. “Our fans are waiting.”
Our. Because Lila was nothing without her muse.
He had a live stream on his phone, showing everyone waiting to see what we wore. On the outside, we looked like a cohesive couple.
But I didn’t know if I could even call him my boyfriend. I hadn’t touched him since I caught him with someone else, and I didn’t know if I ever could again.
This didn’t feel like a real relationship. What sort of partnership could we have when I didn’t even want to be near him?
Do it for the fans. They want this.
“This dress is so tight,” I said, trying to make conversation as we headed for the venue.
He didn’t even look up. “You probably didn’t work out enough in Nashville and now you’re paying the price.”
“I think this is just how the dress is designed,” I muttered.
The cameras saw us as we pulled up. Flashes blinded me through the tint as everyone yelled our names.
Blaze grabbed my hand and hauled me out of the limo. I had to remind myself not to pull away. We slowly walked the red carpet, people desperately trying to get our attention.
“Doesn’t she look great ?” Blaze asked, laughing. “My girl knows how to dress up.”
My stomach twisted. He didn’t even say that in private.
He didn’t even look at me.
For the man who’d complained about me not spending enough time with him, he sure didn’t seem to care now. I wondered if he’d found someone else to spend his nights with, to cure his “blue balls,” as he called it.
I wondered if people could see how uncomfortable I was growing. I wondered if they would pick up on how much I didn’t want to be next to him.
And though I shouldn’t, I hoped that they did.
“Lila!” a voice called, and I turned to see Sasha waving at me. I smiled at her. I wanted to go say hello, especially since she’d helped me with the song that was in the movie.
Blaze’s grip tightened on my hip as if he were trapping me.
“Come here, girl!” Sasha said. “I want some photos with you.”
The cameras turned, ready for me to move. It was a smart move because now I had to go.
“Coming!” I replied.
“Lila,” Blaze snapped.
“She’s my producer,” I hissed before walking away.
If the cameras had caught that, there would be a field day about it. I could only hope they’d been distracted.
“How are you?” she asked. “You’re glowing!”
“It’s the dress,” I said. “And I’m okay. Happy to see this movie’s premiere.”
“And happy to be back in LA?”
My face fell.
Her eyes left me and went to Blaze, who was gladly continuing to pose in front of the cameras. “Why don’t we walk in together?”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“We made the song,” she said. “We can do what we want.”
She put her arm around me and led me to the doors. My smile felt brighter. A few reporters interviewed us, and it was far easier to talk about my work when I didn’t have Blaze in my ear telling me all the things he’d done to support me.
I liked it when things were less about Blaze and more about my work.
“I can’t wait to finish this album with you.” Sasha winked before she went to her seat. “Especially the lyrics. Oh, and by the way, there’s a cheater incoming.” The words were muttered as she went to her seat. I only had a second to process them before Blaze was on me.
“Really?” he snapped. “Do you know how stupid you made me look?”
“I just walked in with my producer.”
“After I gave you months with a man who isn’t me, I thought you’d be more grateful.”
“Keep your voice down!” I hissed. “Who knows if any of the reporters are here? And I didn’t do anything with him. I’m not you.”
“Hold on to your moral righteousness if you need to. Both you and I know that everyone wants us together. Not some fucking nobody in Nashville.”
He walked ahead of me, going to our assigned seats, and I glanced at the door, so tempted to leave. But the director of this film, a woman I called a friend, wanted me to see it.
And I always did what people wanted—including staying with a man I was starting to hate.
Barry
The bar had barely opened, but people were filtering in. I had my phone in my pocket and it burned a hole through my leg.
I wanted to check on Lila.
She was walking the red carpet tonight at a movie premiere that included a song she wrote.
And I was desperate to see her.
In the near week since her departure, I missed her. I found myself seeing life as she did, as a lyric waiting to be written. I wanted to make more, but I wondered if I would ever be able to find connections who would take a chance on me.
Besides, I had the bar, which should have felt like home.
“Hey, Barry, can we—?” Audrey paused when she saw me. “Ooh, never mind.”
“What?”
“It’s nothing. You look like you’re thinking about something pretty hard over there.”
“I’m not,” I lied. “What’s up?”
She turned to me, lips pursed. “It’s a work question. A kind of big one, so if you’re not in the mental space to handle that, then it can wait.”
“I’m fine. Go ahead and ask.” My fingers drummed a beat on the table in front of me. I needed to know or else I’d spiral. If she were quitting, I’d be fucked.
“I think we need to up the dance nights.”
“Oh.” At least it wasn’t bad news. “Why?”
“Check the sign-up sheet,” she said. “We have a wait list triple that of the other ones. People love the dance nights.”
“But we’d have to cut the singer-songwriter performances.”
“Not really,” she said. “Some of the singers want to do a dance night. They’d jump at the chance to do pop covers and medleys. Hell, even some K-pop groups want in when they’re in the US. We can keep the idea of this being an artist-first space and do more business. Scoot over.” She nearly pushed me out of the way and opened Excel. “I know you don’t care about revenue all that much, but I made a graph of the potential increase here. It’s worth looking at.”
The jump was enough that it would even interest Dad.
I shook off the thought about him the second I had it. Why did I still think about him?
“You looked into all of this?” I asked slowly.
“I had help.” Her cheeks darkened. “Liam’s the one who talked to the artists. I just made the graph.”
I could have made a joke about her and Liam working together on this, but another question was on my mind. “Why?”
“Why not?”
“You just work here. You don’t have to do all of this.”
“Because I care, and I manage the guest list, so I see these things. There may not be much in it for me, but I know you want the bar to do well, and I want to see you succeed so . . .?” She shrugged. “I just thought I’d help.”
I stared at her. I should have known she’d jump at the opportunity to do this. She and Liam always did it for other things, but this was above her level.
“You’re right,” I said. “We should implement these things. And you should be a manager.”
“Wh-what?”
“Do you think I’d let you do all of this with nothing in it for you?”
“You know I didn’t do all of this expecting a reward, right?”
“I do know. That’s why I’m giving you one.”
“Thank you, boss. I accept.”
“And I’m doubling your pay.”
Her eyes widened. “Double? But you already pay so much!”
“And you get a bonus if this change pays off.”
“But—?”
“Question me and I’ll do more.”
She sighed but didn’t look annoyed at all. “Fine. I guess I’ll deal.”
“Thank you, Audrey.”
She left, and I was in a distinctly better mood. I’d almost forgotten what I had been mulling over before.
Then I remembered.
Lila.
I took out my phone and opened the browser, searching for her name. She was plastered everywhere in a shiny, beautiful dress.
But my eyes were caught on her face and how miserable it looked. I should have let her be, but I couldn’t help but text her, wondering if she’d even remember to reply.