18. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
Lila
B arry was gone when I woke up.
Disappointment curled in my chest. When was the last time I’d woken up in someone else’s arms? I’d hoped that this would be the first time that someone stayed the entire night.
I slowly got up, checking the windows for any signs that people knew where I was. A truck and a sedan were parked outside, but they didn’t look to be camping out waiting for me.
When I opened the door, I could hear voices in the bar. I slowly crept down the stairs.
“Barry, this is life-altering news. We wouldn’t be here for something small.”
It was a woman’s voice and I wondered if it was his sister. I paused, knowing I shouldn’t listen but couldn’t help it. My desperate curiosity about his family was too much to fight.
“Whatever it is can wait until later, okay? I have something that I need to get back to.” Barry’s voice was tight.
“Barry,” a male voice said.
“No. I’m not having you guys ruin it by bringing more family drama for her to see.”
“It’s okay,” I said before I could stop myself. Everything went silent, but I refused to let him turn away his family for me . “Whatever it is sounds important.”
“Shit,” he muttered under his breath. He turned to where I was half hiding. “Go back to bed. It’s nothing.”
“It’s obviously not nothing,” I insisted. “And they know someone is here.”
“Wait,” the woman said. “I know that voice.”
“You might as well come on out,” Barry said, his tone flat. “Ruth is going to figure it out any second now.”
Ruth’s eyes widened. “Wait. Barry, are you sleeping with—?”
“Lila Wilde?” I asked, coming fully into view. “Yes. Yes, he is. And now that you two have seen me, you’re about to have to sign the most extensive NDA you’ve ever seen. Sorry about that.”
I shouldn’t have walked out of there, but I needed to know what was happening. A sibling meeting that I got to take part in? It seemed too good to be true.
At least I’d remembered an NDA. Malia and my lawyer would be happy with me.
To Ruth’s and Tom’s credits, they handled it well.
Ruth, with her sharp features and dark hair, only covered her mouth. Tom stared, his face nearly as unreadable as Barry’s.
“Okay,” Ruth eventually said. “Well, this complicates things.”
“You weren’t supposed to know she was here,” Barry muttered. “And you should sign the NDA.”
“Is this the same one you told me you’re under?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said, running a hand over his face. My heart skipped a beat. Maybe I shouldn’t have said a thing. It wasn’t my place to step in. The last thing I wanted to do was piss him off by getting involved in something I shouldn’t.
“Wh-what’re your emails?” I asked slowly, trying to focus on one thing at a time.
Once Tom and Ruth had sent it back, Tom looked over at me. “My son is a huge fan.”
“Son?” I asked and then gasped as I turned to Barry. “You’re an uncle!”
“Yeah, yeah. Things have been wild lately with these two.”
“And I’m not helping anything, am I?” I asked.
“It’s fine.”
“So, how do you two know each other?” Tom asked.
Barry looked at me, eyebrow raised.
“He’s helping me with my next album.”
“What?” Ruth said. “Wait, the album? The one that everyone is dying to have?”
“How do I get myself in these situations?” Tom pinched the bridge of his nose, looking much like Barry had only moments ago. “But that isn’t what we’re here to talk about. It’s something bigger.”
“It better not be any more shit about Dad.” Barry’s voice was harsh. “If you two have forgiven him—?”
“We haven’t,” Ruth interrupted. “And we won’t. But we did go see Mom.”
Barry sighed. “And let me guess, she’s sorry for not standing up sooner even though she was just as bad as Dad was.”
“Kind of. We got to see Grandma and Grandad,” she added. “But Mom wanted you there.”
“I’m not interested.”
“And that’s fine,” Tom said. “We’re okay with that. But she told us something that you should know.”
His eyes met mine and I could see the invisible question. Do you want to hear this?
I stayed rooted to the spot, mesmerized by the inner workings of Barry’s family.
“Can you please make this quick?” Barry asked.
“This is big .”
“Mom cheated on Dad,” Tom said bluntly.
“Wow,” Barry said. “Good for her.”
“Barry, she cheated on Dad twenty-seven years ago.”
“Why should I c—?” He paused as he put the numbers together. “Wait a second.”
“Our dad is not your dad. She just told us.”
Barry blinked, not breathing as he took in the news. A long, painful silence stretched out between all of us.
Then he shrugged. “Okay,” he said, but his voice was choked. “That’s fine.”
“But—?”
“It’s fine,” he repeated. “Just another shitty thing Mom did to add to the pile. Whatever. It doesn’t matter anyway.”
“I think it does,” Ruth said.
“No, it doesn’t. My conclusion is the same. I’m better off alone.”
“You don’t want to meet him?” she asked.
“No, I don’t. But I guess you want to tell me I should.”
Her lips pursed and I wondered if she would.
“What Barry does is up to him,” Tom said in a soft voice. “I’m sorry we had to tell you this way, but we will respect whatever you want to do.”
“Good. Then I want to be alone.”
The words weighed heavy as he turned from everyone, including me.
My throat went dry. I could see why he’d not want me around. I wasn’t foolish enough to think some kissing and one orgasm was enough to forge a bond where he’d want me to stay after he found out his father wasn’t his actual father.
“Okay,” Tom said. “But we’re here if you need us.”
They shuffled out and I followed. I looked at the ground, and when the daylight hit me, I realized I had left with no plan.
“Lila?” Ruth asked. “You followed us?”
“I don’t think he wants me around.” I shrugged, trying to play it cool even though my heart had sunk into my stomach. “I’m just a one-night stand.”
Ruth and Tom looked at each other and I almost hoped they would tell me I was more.
But instead, Ruth asked, “Is it safe for you to be out here?”
“No. Not at all. My hotel is two blocks away.”
“I’ll drive you there,” she offered. “Hopefully, no one will see, but if they do, I guess it wouldn’t be the first time.”
“You know another celebrity?”
“My boyfriend is Knox Price.” She smiled. “We’ve been the subject of some news. I’m sure you wouldn’t know—?”
“I remember that story,” I said. “You were in a coffee shop.”
And Rose was behind you.
“Oh wow. So, you’ve heard of me in a weird way. What a small world.”
“Small indeed,” I said. “Thank you. I’ll take you up on that.”
She showed me to her white Honda. Tom, who had been quiet, gave her a wave. Then his eyes fell on me.
“It was nice meeting you. My kid is going to kill me if he ever knows I met you and didn’t tell him, but it was still nice.”
He’d looked scary, but he didn’t seem so scary now. Barry’s family was . . . not what I expected. He hid them from me, but with these two, I didn’t see why.
“Sorry you had to see that,” Ruth said as I got into her car. “And that Barry kind of kicked you out.”
“It’s fine.” And it was. I’d already blown into his life like a tornado and then inserted myself into a conversation where I didn’t belong. “I’m just glad that you handled me being there so well.”
“It was a shock, but if anyone was going to do it to us like that, it would be Barry. He’s always been different. And I wonder how he’ll handle this.” There was a small smile on her face, but it fell. “Will you check on him for us?”
“You guys might be better for that.”
“I doubt he wants anything to do with us right now. Please?”
I couldn’t say no to Ruth’s face.
“I’ll try my best.”
I was dropped off at the hotel and I wondered what I could do for a man who wanted to know my life but obviously didn’t want me to know his.
Juno did a double take when I walked in. This time, we had a suite because she wanted to be closer to me with all of the fanfare around ‘Goodbye, Good Riddance.’
“What are you doing back? Weren’t you supposed to call me?”
“Things got a little wild. Someone else gave me a ride back.”
Juno frowned. “That’s not the safest idea. I knew I should have stayed.”
“It’s fine. I don’t think anyone saw me, and it wasn’t planned. Something big happened for Barry and he wanted to be alone.”
“Oh,” she said. “Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know. I want to go check on him later.”
Juno nodded and glanced out the window. She cursed and slammed the blinds shut.
“What?”
“Paps. I don’t know if they’re here for you, but they’re here.”
“Damn it,” I cursed. “How long do you think they’ll hang around?”
“Too long. I’m sorry, but I think your plans are dashed.”
“ Mine might be, but I have another trick up my sleeve.”
“No.”
“Yes. It’s time to be Rose for a little bit.”
“We’re on borrowed time,” she said, shaking her head. “You were supposed to be here just to see him for a day.”
“I can’t help that something happened. I’ll just move some meetings. I can’t leave right now.”
“And what if he recognizes you?”
“No one has so far and I’ll go to the bar tonight. The low lights will help.”
She pressed her lips together, still unhappy, but I knew I couldn’t leave Nashville yet. Not after what I’d seen.
“Fine, but I’m staying close this time.”
“Deal,” I said. “Thank you, Juno.”
Barry
Lila left.
Because of course she did. No woman of her caliber would want to stick around while I found out my father, the man who tried to ruin my life, wasn’t even related to me.
I stared at the space she occupied, wondering if she’d somehow come back.
But as seconds trickled into minutes, I turned away, ready to accept that I would be alone.
It was fine. I liked it that way.
I spent the day looking for something to do. There was a loose plank in the back floor, so I secured it. The menus, though they were rarely used since people normally knew what they wanted, needed cleaning, so I did that too. As the day gave way to the evening, I found myself running out of things to do.
Once upon a time, I would have never been able to stop, especially when the bar first opened, but now that it had been around for years, I was starting to think someone had fixed all of the problems.
“Evening, Barry,” Liam greeted as he walked in. “Are you working tonight?”
“Yes,” I grunted, looking back at the list of people approved to get in.
He raised an eyebrow. “Is everything okay?”
“Yep.”
“It doesn’t seem like it is.”
“Your station could probably be sanitized. Can you go do that?”
Liam frowned but nodded. I felt bad sending him off, but I didn’t want to talk about what had happened today. None of it needed talking about. My family sucked. That was all there was to it. So my dad wasn’t my dad. It wasn’t a big deal. I’m sure the man who really was wouldn’t want anything to do with me anyway. He was living his life, wherever the fuck he was, not giving a shit about me.
But where? Where does he live?
The curiosity shook me to my core.
I didn’t need to know, though my heart begged me to.
Come on, it said. Look into it.
I refused to call up my siblings to ask more questions, just like I refused to think anything of the man who I didn’t know. I didn’t need any of this, so why was I focused on it?
I lingered at the front, not having anything of substance to do, trying to distract myself by watching who came through the door.
I heard a woman say to the bouncer, “I’ve been here before. Is there any way I could get in again?”
My eyes shot to her because her voice sounded so familiar.
Red hair. Freckles. It was the woman who ordered Lila’s drink. The one in the store who’d been looking at Lila’s tea.
It wasn’t fair to compare her to Lila. She was her own person, but the similarities kicked my heart into gear.
“Sorry,” the bouncer said. “We’re—?”
“She can come in,” I said. “I know her.”
She blinked as if in shock. If I squinted, I could see the woman I desperately wanted.
Don’t be an ass, Barry.
Just because the woman of my dreams had walked out today didn’t mean I could see her in other ones who walked into my bar.
“Thank you,” she said as she sidestepped around the bouncer.
“You’re lucky I was here. Usually, we don’t let people in on short notice, even if they’ve been here before.”
“I’ve heard. You don’t have to treat me like I’m special, though.”
I smirked. “Too late. I already let you in, even though I never usually do that.”
Her cheeks heated. “Why me, then?”
My smile fell. Why did I say it was okay? Was it some part of me mourning Lila’s leaving and wanting something— someone —who reminded me of her to be around?
I couldn’t keep a woman around because she reminded me of someone else. That was a shitty move and I refused to be that guy.
I only shrugged. “I keep running into you, I guess. It was the least I could do.” It didn’t appease the pang of guilt in my chest. “Let me get you your drink. A cranberry juice and soda water?”
“You remembered?”
“I try to. Let me get it for you and then you can enjoy yourself.”
And I could get away from this conflicted feeling around her. But could I? Whether with her or not, there wasn’t much in my life that I wasn’t conflicted by.
The thought sank into my chest. I was a fool to think she wouldn’t notice it.
“Are you okay?” she asked loudly. “You seem . . . off.”
“How would you know if I’m off?”
“Let’s call it intuition. Want to talk?”
Say no. It would be easy to, but she looked like a person I could open up to. A feeling overtook me, one I didn’t know how to deal with.
“Yes.” No one was more surprised than me as I said it and her eyebrows raised as if she didn’t expect that answer herself.
“Can we go somewhere quieter?”
“I have just the place.”
The rooftop was just for me. It was a place I desperately wanted to take Lila to, but with her fame, I knew she couldn’t. I sometimes sat out there when the weather was comfortable and watched everything.
Small fairy lights illuminated the space. Rose looked around with wide eyes. “Wow, this is better than I imagined.”
“You imagined it?”
She blankly stared at me, then blinked away the expression. “I mean, most places have something like this . . . I thought maybe it was for VIPs.”
“I didn’t want to be like the rest.”
“That’s what you’re good at.” She gave me a smile, one that could have been flirty.
And if she had dark hair, I’d flirt right back.
I broke eye contact, looking out at the city. Where was Lila? Was she okay?
“Barry?” she asked.
“Sorry,” I said. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“Tell me, then. I’ll listen.”
I didn’t do this. I didn’t let anyone in. I tried not to with Lila since she had so much more going on, but having her near made me want to. I was spilling at the seams, and while Rose wasn’t the one I desperately wanted, she was here.
Which made me feel even worse.
“It’s . . . I . . . I don’t even know how to begin.”
“Probably at the beginning. Wherever that is.”
“That might take a long time.”
“I have it.”
“Really? Didn’t you come here to have fun?”
“Maybe listening is fun to me. You were so kind to me last time I was here, so why wouldn’t I repay that?”
It was a good reason. I took a shaky breath and said the words that had been bothering me all day. “I just found out that my father isn’t who I thought he was.”
“Wow,” she said, eyebrows raised. “That must have been hard.”
“It was. It is . But this is in line with what my family does. We hurt each other, but considering I left them long ago, I thought I was free of it. Looks like I never will be.”
“Everyone in your family hurts each other?”
Yes should have been my answer, but it was no longer completely true. “My brother and sister are trying not to. But my mom and my dad . . . I mean, the guy who raised me. Fuck , I don’t even know if I should call him my dad anymore.”
“What’s his name?”
“Todd. Todd Murray.”
My eyes went to the building that I’d built this bar in the shadow of. The “and Sons” was no longer lit ever since Tom decided to rebrand. That was no longer Todd Murray’s tower, yet I hated it all the same.
Murray. Was that even my last name anymore? I truly didn’t belong to that family. I never had.
“What is he like?”
“A complete asshole . He ruined my brother and tried to break my sister.”
“Then it’s a good thing you’re not related to him, right?”
“Of course, but my siblings are. And now they’re not all that related to me, just when—?” I stopped myself. These were words I hadn’t even admitted to myself yet, but as they rose in my throat, they got stuck.
Just when I thought we were a family.
“You still are, through your mom.”
“But I’m the odd one out. Just like always. And I thought that was what I wanted, but . . . I don’t know anymore.”
“What do you want?”
Lila. To get to know Max. To see Ruth smile more.
“For everything wrong in my life to right itself.” I paused. “You know what’s the most fucked up about all of this?”
“What?”
“That I might not be my father’s son, but he still sunk his claws into me somehow. I have friends, but I keep them at arm’s length.”
I looked over at her, wishing to see black hair and red lips.
And then I felt even more like Todd Murray’s son.
How did evil do this? How did it invade me when all I wanted to be was free and different?
A warm hand touched my shoulder. “I don’t think you’re your father’s son. If you were, you wouldn’t have stepped in to make sure I was okay.”
Reality came crashing back in at Rose’s reminder. “And my dad certainly wouldn’t own a bar. I mean, Todd. God, what do I call him?”
Her hand squeezed. “Anything you want. Asshole works.”
A laugh escaped me. “I wish the news didn’t even affect me. I thought I wrote off everyone.”
“You rightfully wrote off the man who you thought was your father. What about the one that is?”
I blinked. “I-I know nothing about him.”
“Do you want to?”
“I fucking do,” I muttered.
“Then you have your answer.”
I looked back at her. I knew she wasn’t Lila, but I had shared things with her as if she were.
And I didn’t regret it.
“I thought I would be alone forever.”
“Being alone might work for some people, but it also means missing out on some of the best parts of life,” she said. “Like people you care about. And sure, maybe you haven’t met anyone you want to care about yet, but you will. They’re out there. Maybe they’re even in this bar.”
My heart skipped a beat. Or maybe they were once in this bar. She was right about most of it, but wrong about one thing.
I’d met someone I cared about very much.
But I pushed her away. And while I wanted Lila, she wasn’t here.
Rose was.
“So, what, I go meet my dad with someone?”
“Yes. Is there anyone you trust?”
Lila. But was it even possible for her to go out into the country to meet my dad? Probably not.
“I don’t have many people in that category.” Glancing back at Rose, I noticed she was absentmindedly touching her hair, lips pursed.
“I know we’ve only met a few times,” Rose said, “but I would love to be someone you trust. I could go with you.”
“You’d do that?”
She shrugged, gazing down. “Yeah. I would. I’d need your number first.”
“I think I can make that work.”
She pulled out a phone. “Shit,” she said and immediately put it away. “Wrong one.”
“Wrong phone?”
“I have one for work. I don’t let them overlap. Things get complicated when I do. I have another one at my hotel.”
“Hotel? You’re not from here?”
“I visit. For work and sometimes pleasure. But I’ll make time to be here. I kind of like it in this town.”
“Oh, that’s right. You’ve told me that before.”
She gave me another one of her smiles and my heart skipped a beat. How could I have forgotten when she said she wasn’t from here? I still couldn’t remember where she said she was from. I needed to do better by her and listen when she talked. She had a beautiful voice, after all.
If we stayed here, I might have told her more. I might have gotten lost in her hazel, almost golden eyes and it felt like a betrayal for a woman that wasn’t truly mine.
“Can I get you another drink before I get back to work?”
Her glass wasn’t even halfway empty. “No, I’m okay, but thank you. I’ll let you get back, though.”
I led her back to the dance floor, and as I busied myself with things I didn’t need to do, I wondered if I would catch her dancing.
But I never did. It was almost like she’d had fun just talking to me.