Chapter 27
Sunday morning, Joci woke to Jeremiah kissing the top of her head.
Her eyes slowly opened. Jeremiah was on his back with his right arm wrapped around her.
She was on her side, with her right leg thrown over his legs, her right arm thrown over his waist, and her head cradled on his shoulder.
They had gone to bed without saying a word after sitting in the living room for what felt like hours.
Joci was too weary to keep her eyes open.
She laid as far to her side of the bed as she could, and he on his.
Not even a good night was spoken, both of them raw and bloodied from the extraction of emotions.
She must have rolled toward him in her sleep.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to crowd your space,” she said as she lifted to glance at the clock.
He sighed, and when he spoke, his voice was hoarse. “I love you, Joci. We’ll get over this and work it out. I haven’t cheated on you; I never will.”
She glanced at him for the first time. His eyes sought hers, hungry for reassurance.
She sat up, raked her hands through her hair, and let out a breath. “Yeah.” She scooted to her side and slid from the bed, still wearing the gray t-shirt she had hastily thrown on with the silky black shorts. It was the first time she hadn’t slept nude with him.
“I can’t have this conversation again right now.
I need coffee and some time to process it all.
” She walked to the kitchen, rubbing her gritty eyes.
She absently reached into the cupboard for two cups and poured one for each of them.
Turning to the refrigerator, her stomach rolled at the thought of food.
She immediately closed the door and picked up her phone from the counter.
Several missed calls. She tapped Gunnar’s missed call first.
“Are you okay, Mom?” He sounded as if he had been awake for some time. She glanced at the clock on the stove.
“Yes. I’m fine. What gets you up so early on a Sunday?”
She heard him hesitate. “Do you want to talk? Are you sure you’re fine?”
She chuckled. “I’m fine. It’s going to take some time, and we have things to work through, but…” She couldn’t finish. She didn’t know what would happen next.
She heard him clear his throat. “Okay. Well, Connor asked if he could speak with us today. He wouldn’t say what it was, but he wanted us both to be there. Are you feeling up to talking with him this morning?”
Joci closed her eyes. What could he possibly need to speak with them about? She couldn’t handle much today; she felt weak and exhausted. Letting out a deep breath, she said, “Let’s just pull the Band-Aid off quickly and get it over with. What time do you want to come over?”
She threw away Jeremiah’s beer bottle and cap from last night and wiped the sticky ring from the counter.
She walked to the bedroom with their coffee cups and saw that Jeremiah had gotten up, and she heard the shower running.
She pulled clothing from the closet and sat on the edge of the bed.
She’d never hesitated to go into the bathroom when he was showering before; now, she felt different. Distant.
The shower shut off, and she listened as he sighed heavily. He was apparently feeling it too. He opened the door and froze when he saw her sitting on the bed facing the door. “You could’ve come in,” he said, a bit tersely.
She nodded once. “I brought you coffee.” She retrieved the cup from the nightstand and handed it to him. Their fingers brushed, and she looked into his eyes. He reached forward with his other hand and cupped her chin.
“I love you. We need to move forward and figure this out.” She caressed his arm; her eyes welled with tears.
Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his massive bare chest. The hairs tickled her nose and eyelashes; his skin smelled heavenly.
As he wrapped his big arms around her shoulders and waist, she felt cocooned and safe from the spoils of the world around them.
She reluctantly pulled away and looked into those green orbs she loved so much. “I love you too. We’ll have to figure this out later, though. Gunnar and Connor are on their way over. Connor has something he needs to talk to us about.”
Jeremiah groaned. “I’ll bet he does.”
Joci turned the water on in the shower. “I don’t think it has anything to do with Deb—with you.” She took a deep breath. She’d have to say her name eventually.
* * *
Gunnar walked in the back door from the garage. He had a bakery box in his hand and a coffee cup in the other. Jeremiah stood from the table and eyed him warily. Gunnar nodded and set the box in the center of the table. “Morning. Where’s Mom?”
“Taking a shower. She’ll be out in a minute.”
Gunnar took a drink of his coffee, set the cup on the table, and took a seat. “Everything okay?” he asked cautiously.
Jeremiah sat across from him, folded his hands together, and heaved out a sigh. “Look, Gunnar, I didn’t cheat on her—I never would. And that’s not my kid. I don’t know what game she’s playing, but it’s not mine.”
Gunnar nodded. “Then we’ll need to find out what her game is.” He leaned forward and placed his forearms on the table. “But you won’t get another chance if you hurt my mom; she’s been through enough.”
“What’s this, you’re protecting my virtue?
” Joci strolled into the kitchen, her hair still damp from her shower, no makeup on, and she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on.
She took his breath away. This setback was just that: a setback.
But they would get through it. He’d move heaven and earth if he needed to.
Gunnar stood and hugged his mom. “Not necessarily your virtue, just wanting the air to be clear.”
“Hmm.” Joci glanced at him, and Jeremiah smiled at her. He stood and walked to her, kissed the top of her head, and pointed to the table. “Sit. I’ll warm up your coffee.” He proceeded to the coffee pot when the doorbell rang.
“Okay, let’s find out what this important meeting is all about,” Joci said as she stood to open the door for Connor.
As soon as the stiff pleasantries were exchanged, Jeremiah sat at the table to Joci’s left. Then he had an uncomfortable feeling that this might be private, and he shouldn’t be involved. “Would you like me to go in the other room?”
“No,” both Joci and Gunnar said at the same time.
Jeremiah smiled at both of them. Relief washed over him like the shower water had this morning. He glanced at Gunnar, and he nodded. He turned his head to Joci, and she reached over, took his hand on the table, and gently squeezed. Baby steps.
Connor finally cleared his throat. “I know this is going to be difficult to hear, but I wanted to let you know that Keith is back in town. He and Dianna and the boys moved back last week. They’re living at Keith’s parents’ house.”
* * *
Joci looked at Gunnar to see how he was taking this. Her son’s jaw was tight, and she could see him grinding his teeth together. He looked at her and then back at Connor.
Connor continued, “He wants to see you. Both of you.”
Gunnar slapped his hand on the top of the table, hard, making Joci jump. He stood suddenly, knocking over his chair. “Tell him to go and fuck himself. I sure as fuck don’t want to see him.”
Her eyes grew large as she watched Gunnar, and even though she felt the same way, she was surprised that he didn’t want to see Keith.
Glancing at Jeremiah to see his reaction, she saw his jaw clamped like a vise; his lips pressed together in a narrow line, and his hands were balled into fists on the table.
Connor took a deep breath and looked at Joci. “How do you feel about it, Joci?”
She snapped her head to look at Gunnar again and then at Connor.
“I don’t have anything to say to him. He left us twenty-five years ago with no word, no contact in any way, shape, or form.
No forwarding address, no way to reach him if Gunnar needed him.
I can’t possibly imagine why he would think either of us would want to see him now. ”
Connor nodded. He looked at Gunnar again. “He’s your father, Gunnar. Don’t you want to meet him?”
Gunnar exploded. “He isn’t my father. He’s a fucking sperm donor. He has a lot of nerve asking to see me after all this time. Up until now, my fathers were you and Uncle David. Now I have Dog. He’s the only father I want.”
Joci’s mouth dropped open and tears sprang to her eyes.
She knew Gunnar liked Jeremiah. She had no idea he felt like Jeremiah was a father to him.
She looked at Jeremiah, whose eyes were red and glistening.
He got up out of his chair and walked over to Gunnar wrapping him in a strong embrace.
They held on to each other for a long time.
Joci’s gaze was fixed on the two most important men in her life. Her heart was so full of love right now, she struggled to breathe. She swallowed several times rapidly and blinked furiously to keep the tears from flowing.
When Jeremiah and Gunnar pulled away from each other, both had red eyes. Jeremiah held Gunnar’s head in both of his hands and kissed the top of Gunnar’s head.
Once they were able to compose themselves, they sat down again. Jeremiah reached over and took Joci’s hand. She squeezed his hand and looked into his eyes. The house was eerily silent. Joci cleared her throat as she looked over to Connor.
He reached over and laid a hand on top of the hand she had on the table. Jeremiah leaned forward as if he was going to object, but Connor spoke up.
“Joci, I love you and Gunnar. I always have. I wanted to be there for you both when Keith left. I know this is hard for you—both of you.”
He looked over at Gunnar and then back at Joci. “Keith is dying, Joci. He has stage four lung cancer. He realizes what he did was wrong. He wants to apologize for his behavior.”