Chapter 31
As soon as Jeremiah pulled into the parking lot, he dropped the kickstand down. Frog immediately hopped off his bike and reached over to grab LuAnn. She pushed him away, but he pulled again. She wrapped her arms around Jeremiah tightly.
“Get your fucking hands off me this minute.” His jaw was so tight he had a hard time getting the words out.
“But, Dog. I love you,” LuAnn whined.
He pried her hands away from his waist and jumped off his bike. He looked at Frog, and Frog nodded. Jeremiah turned and saw Joci walking to the back of the hotel with Jackie and Sandi.
He started walking toward Joci and her girls. Gunnar took a breath. “Dad, let them talk a little while. It’ll help her.”
He stopped and looked at him. His eyes welled with unshed tears. He took the few steps forward and hugged Gunnar tight. They held each other for a long time. Jeremiah swallowed around the lump in his throat several times.
“That is the best thing you could ever call me, son.”
Gunnar squeezed tighter. When Gunnar pulled away from Jeremiah, he reached forward and opened his arms for all the boys.
“Thanks, I needed this right now. I’m scared shitless if you know what I mean. Joci’s a little thing, but she scares the shit out of me.”
The boys’ laughter succeeded in alleviating some of his anxiety. He wasn’t kidding; he was scared shitless. He had no idea what he would say or how he would make this better, but he was going to try.
“Um, Dog. You wanted to see me?” Chase’s voice was soft.
Jeremiah turned around and looked at him. Jabbing a finger into his chest, he clipped, “From this point forward, if you bring her, you take care of her. I’m not going to ever, ever do that again; you got it?”
Chase stammered, but Jeremiah put his hand up to stop him.
“Tomorrow morning, you and LuAnn are leaving. I don’t want to see you for the rest of the weekend. Next week at work, I don’t want to see you. If you see me, you had better turn and walk the other way. If you ever pull a bullshit stunt like this again, you will be out on your ass, got it?”
Chase nodded but didn’t say anything. Smart boy. He waited for a beat, then backed up a few steps, turned, and walked back to the hotel.
Watching Chase leave, he took a deep breath. Now, he needed to talk to Joci. He nodded at the boys and turned to walk to the back of the hotel. When he got back there, the swing was empty, but still moving slightly, so they must have just left.
He turned and walked back to the hotel. He took the stairs to give himself a bit more time.
He knew he was stalling slightly, but he still didn’t have the words.
He unlocked the door to their room and heard the shower.
Thank God she was in here. He tried the bathroom door, but it was locked.
She never locked the door, so he was still in trouble.
Shit. He kicked his boots off and pulled a beer from the refrigerator.
He sat in the armchair by the window and waited for her to finish.
He had swallowed his whole beer before the bathroom door opened. She stepped out in yoga pants and a t-shirt. When she rounded the corner, she stopped in her tracks and stared at him. She took a deep breath and continued walking to the dresser, where she set her toiletry bag down.
He watched her, trying to gauge her mood.
“Can we talk?” he whispered.
She shook her head no. She didn’t look at him, just turned and walked over to the bed and climbed in. She pulled the covers up to her chin and closed her eyes.
He stood and padded to the bed, leaned over her, softly crooning in her ear. “Honey, I don’t want to go to bed mad at each other. Please, let’s talk.”
She opened her eyes and looked at him. She waited.
He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. You were right about you always having to suck it up and do the right thing.
I hadn’t thought about it before, but you’re right.
I’ve asked an awful lot of you these past few months.
I can see how tired you’ve been lately, and I realize how all of this is affecting you.
The fact that I own Rolling Thunder makes me responsible for my employees.
Even though this isn’t an employee event, I still always feel responsible.
” He took another breath while raking his hands through his hair.
“But that being said, I could have done things differently. I should have had Frog or someone take my bike with LuAnn, and I could have taken his. I was pissed and not thinking clearly. I’m sorry. ”
She didn’t say anything. He waited for a little while and then lay down next to her wrapping his arms around her. “I’m not leaving you, and I’m not letting you leave me. You may as well talk to me.”
She sighed. “I just can’t do it anymore, Jeremiah. I just can’t. I thought I could, knowing why she’s around. But…”
He slid an arm behind her head and pulled her tightly to his body. He kissed her temple and the top of her head.
“You won’t have to, baby. I told Chase to leave with LuAnn in the morning. The new rule at the shop is ‘if you bring her, you take care of her.’”
Joci snorted and tried to pull away. He held on to her. His brows furrowed. “Hey, what?”
“You’re such a fucking man. Big, fucking deal, your big ‘If you bring her, you take care of her’ bullshit.
” She used finger quotes. “She’s still going to be working there, with you, every day.
She’ll just be trying to hatch out another plan of attack.
She spent the whole fucking afternoon whining about how much she loves you and doesn’t want us to get married. How fucking dense are you?”
She pulled away and slipped out of bed. She walked over to the window and stared out at the night sky. He rubbed his forehead and stared at the ceiling. After a few moments, she walked over and climbed back into bed. She turned her back to Jeremiah and closed her eyes.
Jeremiah rubbed his eyes and got up to get undressed. He jumped in the shower to wash this day away. He quietly padded back to bed and slipped in without waking Joci. He wasn’t going to get a lot of sleep tonight. Fucking LuAnn.
* * *
The next morning, Joci woke up hot and sweaty.
She couldn’t breathe. She opened her eyes and looked around.
She was in the hotel. She looked down, and Jeremiah was practically lying on top of her.
His head was on her chest; his arm wrapped around her, and he was lying on one of her legs.
She tried to take a deep breath and was able to get half a breath in.
She closed her eyes and attempted to clear her head.
She hadn’t wanted to go to bed mad last night.
She was just so damn sick of this shit. This morning, her eyes felt all puffy and swollen from crying in the shower and lack of sleep. Great.
She had to pee, but when she struggled to get up, his arm wrapped around her tighter. She pulled an arm from under the covers and pushed gently on his shoulder.
“Jeremiah, please get off me. I’ve got to pee.”
He squeezed her tighter and mumbled. She pushed at him again, and he opened his eyes.
“I have to pee,” she said, slightly exasperated.
“Sorry, babe.” He rolled over onto his back.
She rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom. A short while later, she walked into the room and started pulling clothes out of her bag to wear for the day.
“We need to talk, Joci.”
Her shoulders sagged. He was right, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. She slowly turned to look at him.
“Okay,” she whispered.
He pushed himself up against the headboard and patted the mattress. “Come sit here with me.”
She walked over and perched herself on the edge of the mattress, her back rigid. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against him.
“I’m sorry. About everything. If I could change it, I would. I can’t. It won’t happen again. What more can I say to you?”
She closed her eyes. “Okay. Is that it?”
He let out a snort. “‘Okay, is that it?’ You don’t have anything else?”
“I simply don’t know what to say, Jeremiah.
I feel like we’ve been down this road, but nothing seems to change.
I’ve just had enough of it. LuAnn pulls crap.
You apologize and tell me it won’t happen again.
It happens again, you apologize and tell me it won’t happen again, and on and on. What do you want me to say?”
She could feel his chest rise with the induction of air and slowly release. He squeezed her and placed his head on hers. They sat quietly. Not knowing what else to say, he chuckled. “Gunnar called me Dad last night.”
Joci closed her eyes and let a tear fall. Gunnar. It wasn’t just about her and Jeremiah; Gunnar was also involved. Ryder and JT, too. Shit.
She wiped her eyes and started to pull away. She pushed her hands through her hair and held them there.
“I just can’t do this anymore. I’ve reached my limit. I don’t want a life of constantly having to deal with a woman who thinks she’s in love with my husband. Especially when my husband won’t do anything to change the situation. It’s really that simple.”
“Please give me another chance, Joci. I mean it. LuAnn will be made to learn that she can never bother us again.”
“Why, Jeremiah? Why do you keep putting me through this?”
She got up and began dressing, putting on a little makeup, and throwing a bandana on her head to protect her forehead.
He lifted himself out of bed and got dressed. As soon as they were ready to go down for breakfast, Jeremiah walked up to her and hugged her.
“I love you, Joci. I love you crazy. This hurts so badly right now. This distance. I hate it.”
“I don’t know what else to do, Jeremiah. I keep getting hurt. I don’t want to hurt anymore.”
He tightened his arms around her and stood with her in his arms, swaying back and forth. She heard him swallow a lump in his throat and take a deep breath.
“I won’t hurt you anymore. I’m so fucking sorry I ever did. You’re the last person I want to hurt, ever.”
She stepped back and looked into his eyes, not as green today as usual, and filled with sadness. With a heavy sigh, she said, “I know you don’t mean to. But you do.”
She turned and walked out the door. He followed her down the hall to the elevator.
They rode in silence to the lobby and walked to the room where the continental breakfast was served without saying a word to one another.
The others were all sitting around tables pushed together, talking and laughing.
The only people missing were Chase and LuAnn.
Joci walked over to the table. “Have you eaten yet?”
“No, we were waiting for you two,” Sandi said.
“Okay, well, let’s eat, shall we?” She walked to the buffet and began filling her plate. She wasn’t hungry at all, but she was going to do her best not to ruin anyone else’s weekend.
While they ate, the conversation went on around them. She nodded once in a while and pushed her food around her plate. They talked about where they wanted to go today, and plans were made to head downtown to party on the streets.
Once downtown, they found spots to park along the street and found a nice little bar where a local band was playing.
They pulled tables together and listened to the music for a while.
Joci found a seat and plopped down. Jackie and Sandi sat on either side of her, and they were quiet for a long time.
“Joci, honey, are you okay? You look so sad and lost. You’re breaking my heart,” Sandi said, rubbing Joci’s shoulder.
“I don’t know, Sandi. I just can’t snap out of this funk.
I feel broken or something. It’s like it was the last straw for me.
I’m so sick of dealing with LuAnn and her bullshit.
It drives me crazy that Jeremiah hangs on to her for some ridiculous, perceived obligation.
He would never tolerate the same situation in the reverse.
And on top of her, we have Deborah still hanging out there, too. ”
Jackie put her arm around Joci and sat there for a while. Staci, Erin, and Angie came over and joined them. Joci was grateful for the camaraderie and change in topic.
After they had eaten dinner, they went back to the hotel and sat by the pool. The boys entertained them most of the evening by playing a mean game of water volleyball and then acting silly when a group of hot babes started paying attention to them.
The Rolling Thunder group headed home late Monday morning. The weekend had been a turning point in their relationship. Which way the turns went, Joci wasn’t sure.
“I love you, Jeremiah, but we have to do something about this. I know some of my frustration with this situation is from my past. That said, I also know it isn’t healthy for you to feel this responsibility to LuAnn when all she wants is what’s best for her, not you.”
He pulled her in for a hug and kneaded his fingers into her tense shoulders.
For the first time in a day and a half, she let Jeremiah kiss her.
God, she missed his touch, his lips, his warmth.
She couldn’t help the tears that leaked out of her eyes.
She hoped this was the last time she had to spend time away from this man—emotionally and physically.