June’s Entry
June’s Entry
Place: Home: Tearing Shit up
My Heartbeat,
How about I start with a story? Will you allow me to do that?
There once was a boy who lived in a huge house filled with many luxuries, goodies, and gold.
However, this boy knew that although he looked like he had everything on the outside, inside this big house, he truly had nothing but his name.
As the boy grew older, he learned to live without the luxuries, goodies, and gold because those very things may have cost him his life.
His name, however, was the very thing he stood on.
One day, the boy was challenged by the Wonder Bread monster, who told him he would never be anything.
He spewed hate and unloving words, making the boy feel undeserving until the boy was old enough to understand that said monster’s words held no weight.
The boy killed that monster, not only physically but mentally as well, making sure he never returned.
As the boy grew older, he ran into an earth fairy. She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. They started off as enemies because even though the fairy found herself in tough situations, the boy seemed to always save her, but she didn’t want to be saved.
On one hot day, the fairy and the boy were trapped in a magical Caprice.
In this Caprice, they experienced many things together, but the main thing they shared was something they desired, which was love.
Unbeknownst to the fairy, her orange pixie dust was what the boy needed.
Her magical concoction not only changed him but also saved him.
Still unsure how to handle his new change, he ran off. He ran her so far off that he could no longer think. With scattered brains and a broken heart, all he could do was pray she would return….
Z, I can’t believe we’re having twins. Two little niggas growing inside who need their father just as much as they need you.
I didn’t have a family, and I’ll be damned if my boys don’t.
I will always be there for you guys, even if you push me away.
Z, you got my fucking kids in you, and you walk away from me!
Baby, there is no escaping this boy you changed into a man.
Shit, alright, let me calm down… A nigga is sorry, and whatever it is I got to do to fix it, I’ll do it. Even if it means I have to try to get along with that bitch-ass nigga Bishop.
Z, you left me after you promised you wouldn’t do that.
I was upset. I was trying to figure out how to tell you that you were married to a nigga with no name.
You know how that shit feels? My kids have no fucking name, but it isn’t your fault.
It’s mine because, as much as I want to be the perfect nigga for you, the truth is I’m not.
That dinner with the Merciers, it… It was bad, Z. It was so bad that I ended up beating Clark’s ass. He told me I was a fucking John Doe; he told me about my mother, and I… I lost it. I… want his ass dead. Why was I chosen for this?
I swore my kids would have me around, so you being gone is only temporary. I’m just tired, baby. I can’t take this shit! Z, I’m about to paint this muhfucka orange if you don’t come back to me. This shit isn’t even a letter anymore because I can’t even think.
I love you, girl. I love you so deeply that I will walk the streets until I find you.
Come home, please.
Signed,
A broken nigga with no name