Dionysus
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Peace and Savior had finally gone to sleep, and Mars used my bathroom to shower.
I stepped onto the balcony to get some fresh air and clear my mind.
Bike weekend was approaching in the next couple of weeks, and after that was school.
To know that I was going back to Covana to a house as a single nigga was a thought that never escaped my mind.
I sat on the futon on my deck, almost not wanting to sit on it because it was a spot that Mars and I had shared more than once.
“Fuck it,” I said out loud.
I picked up my weed tray and rolled myself a blunt. As I tried to figure out what was next for me, I couldn’t see past tomorrow. What I did know was that a piece of my heart ran cold, and that scared me. The last thing I wanted was to turn back into the menace I was before everything unfolded.
After rolling my blunt, I sparked it, and Mars came onto the balcony with me.
“Can I join you?” she asked.
“The world is yours, Mars,” I told her.
She laughed. “You know I always loved it when you called me that. It made me feel so special,” she said as she sat next to me.
“I mean, you are, but it isn’t up to me to tell you that; you have to see it for yourself.”
She gave me a tight-lipped smile as she nodded. “Little sister is so pretty and sweet.”
“Yeah, she’s a little wiz. I’m going to spoil the shit out of her, too. Zeus needed this.”
Since Sy’ann had been here, Zeus had been on his toes. She had been running him and Sash nonstop, which left no room for either of the two to do anything.
Mars scooted closer. “Now that things are changing, do you think Chevy is going to walk away from the Zoo?”
My head flew back. “Hell nah.” I paused. “I feel like he needs to, though. My nigga has been through a lot, and it’s time for him to walk the hall of fame as one of the greatest to ever do it. He got kids and shit, you know.”
“I think you are the next—” she reached out, turning my face to her, “—King. All the OGs have done their jobs; it is you who will lead the pack now.”
I laughed. “Nigga, am I smoking or you?”
Then she kissed me, and as bad as I wanted to say we couldn’t, I gave in. Although we weren’t together, I still held a soft spot for her, one that was hard to shake. So, as she invited her tongue into my mouth, I accepted it. She pushed me back and climbed on top of me. I pulled my lips away.
“You cool?” I asked.
She nodded and planted her lips on me again. A nigga was sinking, no matter how much I knew we shouldn’t be doing this. I pulled away again.
“Stop,” I told her.
She sat there looking confused.
“Mars, I can’t. It doesn’t matter how bad I want to, I can’t. I will not be able to handle it. Having sex with you only to not have you is a no for me, so it’s best we don’t. All that shit is going to do is start something neither of us wants. I’m cool, gang.”
Her lip disappeared between her teeth as she slowly got off me.
I lifted and continued back at my blunt. I took a peek over my shoulder. “We’re still cool, but the sex shit is dead, mama. Now you want to smoke or what?”
She sat back on the futon, staring off in the distance. I knew what I did hurt, but it would have hurt even more if we crossed that line. It was a hard pill to swallow, but Mars really needed to find herself, and I was going to respect her enough to let her do so.
If she was right about a nigga being a king, then I was going to be one, and the last thing on my mind was filling the seat for a queen.