6. Chapter 6 A Return to Hertfordshire
Chapter 6: A Return to Hertfordshire
Monday, 25 May
Longbourn
Elizabeth
I alighted from my uncle’s coach and ran to Jane. We held each other in a tight embrace.
“Lizzy, I am so glad you are home.”
“Thank you, Jane. I missed you.”
“Papa wants to speak to you as soon as may be. Will you come to my room afterwards?”
“Yes, I shall.”
My sister released me to greet our aunt and uncle.
Lydia bounded down the steps from the house and grabbed me around my shoulders. “Lizzy, you are returned.”
I laughed. “It is good to see you too, Lydia.”
A comical, lopsided grin raised her cheeks. “Did you bring us gifts?”
“Yes, and I shall bestow them later.”
Her lips extended into a pout. “Jane bought scarves for Kitty and me and a dull, old music book for Mary. Will you not give me a hint of what you have for us?”
I patted Lydia’s upper arm. “No, for that would ruin the surprise.”
“Ah, well.” She rose to her full height and smirked. “I cannot wait to go to London with you after the wedding. Papa said he would pay for new dresses, and I fancy we shall attend many balls and parties!”
With no wish to dissemble any more than necessary, I nodded. In the entryway, Mary and Mama greeted me with quick hugs before continuing to the courtyard towards my aunt and uncle.
Kitty came towards me. She stopped and leaned against the wall in the vestibule, her mouth turned down. “Welcome home, Lizzy.” Her reception lacked even a speck of esprit.
I hugged her. “Kitty, what is wrong?” I stepped back and took her hands.
She tucked her chin. “Forgive me for being so dull, but I cannot understand why Aunt Gardiner invited Lydia to town and not me. I am older—it is not fair!”
“Ah, I see. Well, there is more to this decision than meets the eye.”
“What do you mean?”
“I cannot divulge the particulars.”
“Oh pish!” She pulled back from me and stamped her foot. “No one ever tells me anything!” She went towards the door, but I rushed forwards and caught her arm, halting her.
“Just a moment. Do you swear not to reveal what I disclose to you?”
She displayed a tentative smile. “Yes, I promise to keep whatever you tell me secret.”
I motioned for her to follow me into the empty sitting room and closed the door behind us. “First, you must understand how vital it is to heed proper decorum in London. In the past, you have often followed Lydia’s initiative to engage in rude behaviour that has reflected poorly upon us all. The effect in town for the same conduct could be ruinous.”
Her bearing shrunk. “I understand what you mean. But Lydia is far worse than I have ever been, so why is our aunt rewarding her with this invitation?”
“Lydia is unaware she will receive lessons from our aunt’s sister, Mrs. Perry, who used to be employed as a companion.”
“What about the parties and balls Lydia expects to attend?”
“Until she demonstrates proper conduct, she will not leave the house.”
Kitty’s hand flew to her mouth, stifling a giggle. “Oh my, Lydia will be furious when she learns the truth! She hates being told what to do by anyone.”
“Remember I am trusting you not to reveal this to her.”
“Rest assured, she will learn nothing from me.”
I parted from Kitty, continued to my father’s study, and knocked upon the door. “Papa, it is Lizzy.”
“Come in.”
I entered the room and walked into my father’s open arms. I took in the familiar scents of books, pipe tobacco, and the fragrance Mr. Hill applied after Papa’s shave. “I am happy to see you.”
“At long last, you are home.” He patted my back. “I missed you, my girl.” He stepped away to scrutinise me. “At least, you look like my daughter. However, the Lizzy who left home in March despised Mr. Darcy.”
“I provided an explanation to you in my letter.”
“Yes, but I require a more convincing form of affirmation—from your own lips.” Papa ushered me to my usual seat and took his own chair.
“I trust you treated Mr. Darcy with politeness when he came to see you last week.”
He affected a look of innocence. “Do you doubt it?”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Well, I should have teased him more had I been less shocked by his revelations—first, that he had proposed marriage to you, and second, that you had accepted. If not for the correspondence he brought from you and my brother Gardiner, I should have believed him to be dicked in the nob.”
I chuckled softly. “Oh, Papa. Allow me to assure you that I meant every word of my letter. I should much prefer to be married as soon as the banns can be read.”
His smile disappeared. “I can understand why you no longer dislike the man, but agreeing to spend the rest of your life with him is a tremendous reversal. It is not like you to disregard your intuition, and your first impression of him could prove to be the authentic one.”
I shook my head. “No, that is not—”
He stayed me with his hand. “Allow me to finish. My greatest fear is you will learn the truth too late. No doubt he has been showing himself at his best, but the faults that earned your disdain could return once you are his wife and under his power. For all intents and purposes, you will be his property .”
“That is true for all wives in England, so you may as well condemn marriage altogether.” I drew my lower lip between my teeth. “So, this is why you insisted we keep our betrothment a secret for a month.”
“Yes. Short engagements may be all the fashion, but I see no reason to rush into matrimony. If you and he are meant to be together, the wait will not matter.”
“But you did not impose any restrictions upon Jane and Mr. Bingley.”
“Their situation differs. Although Mr. Bingley took a long while to propose marriage, he never hid his interest in Jane.”
“Our courtship may have been…complex, but we reached the same result—Mr. Darcy and I love each other. I understand him now and appreciate his many admirable qualities. Never before have I been as happy as I am in his company.”
“I am glad to hear it, but I cannot be at ease unless I am persuaded you have a thorough knowledge of his character. Pray, make efficient use of this month.”
“What do you mean?”
He removed his spectacles and gave me a pointed look. “Employ your innate curiosity—query Mr. Darcy. Ask what sort of life he intends the two of you to lead. How often will you be in London in comparison to Derbyshire? Does he expect you to give up activities or connexions you hold dear? Will he restrict you in any other ways?”
My chest tightened. Fitzwilliam would not inhibit me that way. Still, Papa’s advice made sense. “Yes, it would be wise to discuss those subjects.” Of course, due to Miss de Bourgh’s fatal illness, Fitzwilliam would lend his support at Rosings Park, reducing the time we could spend together. In light of my father’s concerns, there would be no benefit in mentioning this fact.
“Despite how firm you might be in your decision at this moment, the passage of time may lessen the sentiment you feel for Mr. Darcy.” He set his spectacles upon the desk. “If you still want to marry him by the time Jane and Mr. Bingley return from Brighton, you may set a wedding date and make the engagement public. Until then, I expect the two of you to be discreet—do not consort in any way that leads others to believe you are courting.”
I quelled the arguments on the tip of my tongue. Although part of me still bristled at his mandate, I could not entirely fault his concerns. “Very well.”
His fingers made rhythmic flicks upon the desk. “And be careful in Lydia’s company. Allow her to believe your primary association is with Miss Darcy.”
“Yes, I understand.” With any luck, Mrs. Perry would keep my sister too busy to dwell upon my affinity with Fitzwilliam.
He lowered his gaze. “I read my brother Gardiner’s words with a mixture of pique and shame. I had grown blind and deaf to Lydia’s antics and allowed her behaviour to go unchecked for too long. I hope it is not too late to effect a meaningful change in her.”
Too late? What a depressing notion! “If anyone can succeed in improving Lydia, it is Mrs. Perry.”
Papa nodded. “Do you remember Mrs. Clarke? She worked as a companion for Miss Goulding.”
“Yes, the tall, slender lady with auburn hair.”
“I have hired her for Mary and Kitty. She will arrive here next week.”
“That is splendid news. Do my mother and sisters know yet?”
“No, and pray do not inform them.” His eyes twinkled. “I shall broach the subject in good time.”
“As you wish.” My father took delight in being the bearer of surprises. Upon departing the study, I proceeded to Jane’s chamber. We took seats together on the bed.
Jane wrapped her arms around her bent legs. “Have you persuaded Papa to rescind his demand that your engagement be kept secret?”
“No, he remains suspicious of Mr. Darcy.”
She reached out to pat my hand. “That is a shame. But waiting a month is not so bad, is it?”
“In actuality, our marriage may be delayed even longer.” I explained Miss de Bourgh’s sad fate but did not reveal the possibility of Fitzwilliam having a brother. Although I trusted my sister’s discretion, I should not ask her to keep a secret from her future husband.
“Oh no, that is so sad!” Her eyes crinkled. “You met Miss de Bourgh in Kent, did you not?”
“Yes, though Lady Catherine tended to dominate the conversations, and I did not say more than a few words to her.” With the aim of lightening the mood, I asked Jane what had occurred since her return home.
“Well, Sir William and Lady Lucas had a garden party last week, and…”
Throughout her discourse, my thoughts returned again and again to Fitzwilliam. I had grown accustomed to being in company with him each day. If he felt compelled to spend many weeks at Rosings, how should I bear the separation?
Tuesday, 26 May
Longbourn
Elizabeth
I slipped out of the side door into the bright morning sunshine and went towards the grove. Last night, we had attended a dinner at Netherfield Park hosted by Miss Bingley. Under my father’s scrutiny, I had restricted my communication with Fitzwilliam. Thus, I could not contain my eagerness to see him this morning and fought the urge to run.
His familiar form strode in my direction, and he raised a hand to me.
I returned his wave. High-pitched barks drew my sight to the left, where a blond ball of fur bounded towards me.
“Hunter— oh! ” In his enthusiasm, the cocker did not halt in time; he slid on the loose rocks and collided with my legs. I crouched, burying my hands in the dog’s soft fur.
“ Hunter! ” Fitzwilliam rushed to me. “I am sorry, Elizabeth, it is not like him to be so ill mannered. Are you well?”
“Yes, perfectly so.” I grinned up at him to ensure he would not doubt me.
Nevertheless, he frowned at Hunter. “What do you have to say for yourself, boy?” The cocker lowered his head in a sheepish fashion.
I stood. “In truth, it is pleasing to be remembered and appreciated.”
“His appreciation for you does not compare to mine.” He took my hands, and our lips met in an exquisite, but all too brief, kiss. “I hope that is evident in my greeting.”
“Well…” I made a show of contemplation. “If pressed, I must say yours is even better.”
“That is a relief.” He offered his arm, and we walked along the path towards the meadow.
“I regret to say Mama is adamant I return by half past eight. She insists we all prepare ourselves early. After all, ‘one never knows what could go wrong’.” I imitated Mama’s voice to recite her oft-repeated refrain.
“Your mother will rest easy soon enough.” He viewed me with a smile. “Do you expect you and Miss Lydia will be ready to leave for London by four?”
“Yes, I believe so. Lydia is in anticipation of her stay in town.” Last night, Fitzwilliam obtained Papa’s agreement to allow my sister and me to ride to Gracechurch Street in his coach, which would follow the Gardiners’ carriage. Of course, in Lydia’s company, we should be compelled to limit our conversations to general matters.
I regarded his profile, and Papa’s admonition from yesterday echoed in my mind. “Have you considered what our lives will be like after we are married?”
He angled his head towards me. “That is a broad question. Do you have a particular area in mind?”
“For instance, shall we spend the Seasons in London and the rest of the year in Derbyshire? Shall we give and attend parties and balls often? Shall we travel to distant lands?”
“Yes to all, if that is what you would like.”
“But you must have a preference. How and where do you want us to live?”
“Foremost, I want you to be happy. In the past, I erred by focusing upon my desires rather than yours and will not repeat that mistake. Certain obligations may require my presence at Pemberley or in town at times, but whenever possible, I want us to make those decisions together.”
“Oh.” What a gratifying answer! And how extraordinary of him. I doubted many men of his station paid their spouses this courtesy. “I appreciate that. I imagine this will be a significant change for you.”
“Yes, and for you as well. I value your judgment and hope you will not hesitate to tell me your opinions.”
I halted our forward movement and stepped before him. “You may depend upon my propensity for making my thoughts and inclinations known.” I tenderly caressed his facial muscles until they relaxed beneath my fingers.
Fitzwilliam covered my hand with his and kissed my palm. “Although we are not officially engaged, I want you to have a small token of my affection. With your affinity for such creatures in mind, I attempted to find a frog, newt, or lizard for you this morning, but alas, I had no success. Instead, I can offer this.” He pulled a ring from his coat pocket and held it before me. My sight riveted upon the stunning emerald solitaire set within the elegant gold band, and I gasped. The green gem sparkled in the sunlight.
“It is beautiful!”
A grin lit his countenance. “Are you certain you approve of it? I thought this one would suit you, but there are others at the house in London and still more at Pemberley.”
“It is an admirable choice, and I love it. Thank you so much!”
“You are welcome.” He removed the glove from my hand and pushed the ring upon my finger. The band appeared to be at least one size too large. “Although you cannot wear this on your finger whilst our betrothment is kept secret, you could keep it around your neck.” He withdrew a gold chain from his pocket. “What do you think?”
“I should love to wear this as a necklace.” I handed him the ring, which he secured on the chain, and I turned round so he could fasten the clasp. My current dress covered the ring, but the gown set aside for the wedding would not. I faced him again. “Depending on my attire, I may not always be able to conceal the ring, but I shall wear it whenever possible.”
“I understand. Later, when we are free to plan our wedding, I shall have the band resized.” His eyes locked upon me. “If I must be apart from you in the coming weeks, I am pleased you will at least have a token to remember me by.”
I took his hand. “I hope we shall not be separated for long. Nevertheless, come what may, you will remain in my thoughts.”
He left a tender kiss upon my forehead. “I love you.”
An outpouring of adoration for him cradled my heart. “I love you too.”
***
I took a position near the entryway as Jane and Charles made their farewells to the line of our family and friends.
At last, Jane came to embrace me, and I wiped my escaping tears. “Do not forget to write.”
“Of course, dearest Lizzy.” She clung to my back. When she stepped away, her eyes glistened.
Charles gave me a brief hug. “Good-bye, my sister. Do not fret—I shall take good care of Jane.”
“I know you will.” They left the house. I moved to the window and remained until the coach moved out of sight. I stirred at a familiar set of footsteps and turned towards Fitzwilliam.
“Are you well?” He peered at me.
“Yes. Although I shall miss Jane, I am delighted to have Charles for a brother.”
He stepped closer. “I am pleased for them both, yet during the wedding ceremony, my spirits plunged.”
“Why is that?”
“The significance of my past mistakes weighed upon me. If I had treated you better from our first meeting, we may have married months ago. Instead, we are forced to wait, and we cannot be certain for how long.”
“My father gave us a finite interval.”
“But if my cousin succumbs to her illness before we marry…” His head dipped. “It is unbecoming of me to bemoan the possibility—the inconvenience to me is nothing in comparison to my cousin’s life.”
I drank in his frank admission, lingering upon each word. Bless him; his thoughts mirrored mine. I chose my words with care. “It is sensible to consider potential consequences. We ought to face the unfortunate possibility you may soon be in mourning. Although the customary period is short for a first cousin, it would seem callous if we wed within a few weeks of her death.”
“Yes, I agree.”
“When do you expect to hear from the investigator you hired?”
“I hope Mr. Notley will have the answers I need by tomorrow or Thursday.”
With a glance around us to ensure our privacy, I raised my palm to his chest. “I wish my father had not imposed this restriction upon us. Nevertheless, we will marry.”
His dark eyes burned into me as his larger hand engulfed mine. “I used to consider myself a patient man, but any further delay to our wedding will seem tortuous. Yet you, more than anyone or anything else, are worth the wait.” He lifted my hand to bestow a kiss.
Meryton
Elizabeth
My youngest sister looked out of the window and frowned. “Dang, the street is deserted. I wish one of my friends could see me in this fangled carriage!” She settled against the squabs with an audible exhalation. Fitzwilliam’s luxurious landau followed Uncle Gardiner’s more modest coach, which turned onto the road towards London.
Lydia’s gaze flitted from Miss Darcy to Fitzwilliam, seated opposite us. “How did we come to be riding together? I thought you and Lizzy hated each other.”
For goodness’ sake! I gave Lydia a severe look. “That is very impolite. I never hated Mr. Darcy.” Miss Darcy stared at me, her eyes wide, and I gave her an apologetic expression. “In reality, I misunderstood him last autumn, but that is in the past.”
“And I most certainly never hated your sister.” Fitzwilliam maintained an unfettered air. It seemed he had not taken offence.
Lydia sneered at him. “And yet you insulted Lizzy at the assembly last autumn. She told us what you said.”
Egad, Lydia, have you no tact at all?
“That is true. I made shameful remarks on that occasion. Your sister had the grace to forgive me.”
I smiled for him. “Yes, I accepted Mr. Darcy’s apology. And since he is a frequent guest at Aunt and Uncle Gardiner’s home, I saw him and Miss Darcy often in town.”
“Hmm.” Lydia stared at him.
Fitzwilliam inclined his head. “Perhaps you too will be persuaded to form a new opinion of me.”
“La, we shall see.” Lydia glanced at me. “Do you suppose we shall attend a party or a ball tomorrow?”
“I am not aware of our aunt’s plans.”
“There must be festive occasions in town every day of the week, so our aunt and uncle may have many invitations to choose from. Although it is too late for me to be the first sister to marry, I could be the second one.” Across from me, Miss Darcy’s brows knitted.
I released a short laugh. “Pray, do not be in such a hurry. You are too young for marriage.”
Lydia rolled her eyes. “Fiddlesticks, I am old enough—I shall be sixteen next month.”
I hastened to change the subject by querying Fitzwilliam and Miss Darcy for their opinions on the volume of poetry by Mary Russell Mitford I had borrowed from their library. Soon thereafter, Lydia reclined her head and dozed for the remainder of the journey.
Gracechurch Street
Elizabeth
When we entered the drawing-room, Mrs. Perry stood waiting for us. Once my aunt and uncle had welcomed her, I strode ahead and gave her a quick embrace. “Mrs. Perry, it is wonderful to see you again.”
“It is a great pleasure to see you too, Miss Elizabeth, or rather, Miss Bennet. I am very happy for your sister.” She moved back to study me. A grin softened her countenance, making her appear years younger. “You have grown taller since we last met, and you have become a true beauty.”
“Thank you. You are too kind.”
She inched closer and used a whisper. “Modesty told me that you are being courted by Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, of all people. I could not be more thrilled for you.” With a backwards step, she resumed her former inflexion. “I am in anticipation of hearing you play the pianoforte. If you have practised these past few years, you must have improved a great deal by now.”
My shoulders lowered. Darn , why had I not anticipated this? “In all honesty, I…um…have not played as often as I should.”
“Indeed? Well, whilst you are here, you ought to spend at least two hours each day at the instrument.”
“You are correct.” My aunt had a small pianoforte in the upstairs sitting room, so I had no excuse not to follow Mrs. Perry’s advice.
Aunt Gardiner urged Lydia forwards. “Selina, this is Lizzy’s youngest sister, Miss Lydia Bennet. Lydia, this is my sister, Mrs. Selina Perry.”
“I have heard much about you, Miss Lydia, and I am glad to make your acquaintance.” Mrs. Perry maintained a benign smile.
“It is nice to meet you too.” Lydia made a belated curtsey.
My sister sat beside me at one end of the sofa; Mrs. Perry and Aunt Gardiner sat across from us, and my uncle removed to his study. Lydia descended into a slouched position. She yawned, making a lazy attempt to cover her mouth. “Where shall we go first? Is there a ball we may attend this evening? I should not mind going to the theatre instead as long as we see a comedy or a farce, for I have no patience for tragedies.”
“I shall bear that in mind.” My aunt glanced at Mrs. Perry. “You may not be aware my sister and I attended a respected seminary. Selina took a position with a prominent family as a companion for their two daughters . Under her guidance, the young ladies made admirable matches. Selina has agreed to remain here throughout your stay and act as your companion.”
My sister bolted upright. “Huh? But Mama has always said we have no need for a governess or companion. She taught us how to run a household.”
“Your mother has prepared you as well as she could.” Aunt Gardiner used a gentle tone. “But before you can expect to be welcomed in town, you must learn a great deal more.”
“Why should that be? Jane never had a companion, and she is already married!”
“Selina provided guidance to your two eldest sisters during their formative years, and they learnt to exhibit proper decorum. You lack that discipline.”
Lydia sent a scowl in my direction. “Jane and Lizzy are your favourites, so you think everything they do is perfect. Well, I am not like them, and I am glad. Mama has told me many times I shall marry a handsome, rich gentleman because I am pretty and lively. I know she is correct, because I am never in want of a partner at a ball.”
I touched Lydia’s arm. “Mama did not benefit from a formal education, and so she could not prepare us to be among the denizens of London.”
“That is correct.” Mrs. Perry’s hand rose to her chest. “Look at my example—my former employer introduced my future husband, Mr. James Perry, to me. I should never have attracted a gentleman of his standing if I had not demonstrated the education and conduct of a lady. I lost my dear James to consumption in our fifth year of marriage. He left me a small house near Cambridge and sufficient funds to live a comfortable existence. I need never work or marry again, unless I choose to do so.”
Lydia’s slippered foot tapped upon the wood floor. “Maybe I should prefer to marry a handsome officer.”
“That plan is unsound,” said Aunt Gardiner. “A military officer does not earn enough money to support a wife and family.”
My sister’s lower lip protruded.
Aunt Gardiner rested her clasped hands on her lap. “I have witnessed your inappropriate conduct in public. You must improve your behaviour, not only for your own sake but for that of your sisters.”
“What has this to do with them?”
“Your actions may lead people to conclude you lack morals. If they believe this, they may deem your entire family to be tainted and unsuitable.”
Lydia scoffed. “Perhaps a pompous bore like Mr. Darcy might form that opinion, but I do not care what he thinks.” She poked her forefinger at me. “Lizzy may tolerate him now, but I find him to be dull.”
I bit the inside of my mouth lest I defend him. We needed to keep to the topic at hand.
“Your characterisation of Mr. Darcy is faulty.” Aunt Gardiner’s voice took on a sharp edge. “Your uncle and I consider him to be a friend. He is an amicable gentleman.”
I gave my aunt a nod of thanks.
“Ahem.” Mrs. Perry adjusted her seat. “Allow me to be frank, Miss Lydia. Since you lack a fortune, you must attract a gentleman with your beauty, goodness, and virtue. If you act as a coquette, men may suspect you are no longer a maiden, and they would never consider you for marriage in that case. Even worse, unscrupulous men might seek you for reasons other than matrimony. Do you comprehend my meaning?”
A coral tint stained Lydia’s cheeks. “I should never agree to be any man’s mistress!”
“Dishonourable men have been known to force themselves on women.” Mrs. Perry frowned. “It is a terrible truth, but it happens. And lost virtue means a ruined reputation regardless of how unwilling the lady may have been.”
My sister’s chin jutted forwards. “If any man tried to force himself upon me, I should fight him off.”
“You appear to be a strong young lady,” said Mrs. Perry. “But most men are capable of overpowering you. Even if you managed to deter your attacker, if anyone observed you fighting the man, or fleeing from him with a torn gown, your reputation would still be in tatters and your entire family made into outcasts. The sole remedy would be a marriage between you and your attacker.”
“That is not fair!” cried Lydia.
“Nevertheless,” said Aunt Gardiner, “it is the way of the world. I expect you to heed and learn from my sister. Once you can demonstrate proper comportment, we shall venture out in public and see how you fare.”
“But I came here to have fun, not to endure tedious lessons.” Lydia grimaced. “I shall write to Papa at once and tell him I want to go home.”
“Your father sent you here to benefit from my sister’s instruction, and he expects to see an improvement in you before you return.” My aunt offered a smile. “He also provided me with funds to purchase new gowns and other frippery for you— if you demonstrate progress.”
Lydia’s nose wrinkled. “Then I have no choice in the matter.”
“No, you do not.” Aunt Gardiner stood and beckoned to me. “Lizzy, let us go to the nursery.” She sent Lydia a stern look. “I expect you to mind Mrs. Perry.”
My sister snickered. “Very well.”
I followed Aunt Gardiner but dallied at the doorway to spy my sister as Mrs. Perry approached her.
“Miss Lydia, please rise. I want you to take your seat again. This time you will demonstrate posture appropriate to a lady. At the moment, you resemble a sack of potatoes.”
“Lord, this is going to be deadly dull!” Lydia lumbered to her feet.
“Do not take the Lord’s name in vain. And stand up straight.” Mrs. Perry adopted a military stance and aligned Lydia’s shoulders.
With a suppressed giggle, I continued on to the stairs. Best of luck to you, Mrs. Perry .