Chapter 5 #3
“I have seen the truth in what you say. However, I hope many men treat their wives as equal partners, with full knowledge of investments and properties. Such wives could not be caught off guard by years of foolish spending and subsequent risky attempts to replace money that ought never to have been spent. I know that, when I marry, I would wish to be able to share all financial news, decisions, and even anxieties with my wife. And the settlement will be carefully written to ensure that my wife is protected in case I predecease her.”
Elizabeth stopped walking and stood very still.
She almost felt as if she should be celebrating that he spoke so to her…
surely he was attempting to comfort her that he would not be so profligate.
But the part of her that always, always urged caution pointed out that Mr Darcy had not offered marriage and, despite the attraction and affection he seemed to have for her, he was unlikely to do so.
She was so confused, she felt too many varied emotions and therefore stayed silent.
“Did I frighten you?” he asked. “Or upset you?”
“Mr Darcy, may I ask you a question?”
“You certainly may. After all, I just asked you two questions; although I notice that you neglected to answer both of them.”
Elizabeth felt herself blush, but she forced the bold words she wished to use out of her mouth, despite the fact that she felt incredibly mortified. “Do you see yourself as courting me? Do you have honourable intentions?”
He staggered back a step as if someone much larger than herself had struck him.
“Yes and yes, of course! Do you think so poorly of me that you have to ask? Have I behaved in an ungentlemanly manner?”
“No, but I am very aware of my status, my wealth, my standing in society being very much lower than yours. I found it difficult to believe that you could feel strongly enough about me to offset society’s expectations—even your own expectations of what sort of woman you would marry.
And then I realised that it was possible you wished for another sort of relationship with me.
I — I was frightened at the possibility but did not think I had good reason to dismiss it. ”
“And, being fearful, your native courage demanded that you ask me in plain, straightforward language what my intentions were.”
“I was brave because I was so scared to ask.”
He snatched both of her hands. Elizabeth caught her breath as she stared into his dark gaze, which was as steady and stirring as ever.
He said, “My apologies for not being as direct with you, Miss Elizabeth. I am much older than you, and we have only become reacquainted a short time ago. I know what I feel—and because of my age and the fact that I have never felt like this with any other lady, I know that my feelings are serious—but until now I truly believed that our feelings were unequal, and I wished to give you time to get to know me better….”
“You were being patient?”
“Yes, at least I was trying to be.”
Elizabeth squeezed his hands briefly. “Thank you for such consideration. But I too fear that our feelings are unequal, but I am reasonably certain that it is I who feels more.”
“That would be impossible. Elizabeth, you have managed to dash all my plans. My strategy, looking five moves ahead, gone! My long, patient game—ended. Miss Elizabeth Bennet, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”
She felt almost dizzy to have all of her worry about what Mr Darcy did or did not feel to be swept away so decisively. Elizabeth considered honouring the importance of the event with well-crafted words, but then she realised that she had just said “yes” for the third time.
“Am I gibbering?” she asked, appalled at the memory of her voice betraying the gravity of the moment by saying, “Yes, yes, yes!”
“You are reassuring me that you really mean it,” Mr Darcy said. He was beaming the widest, happiest smile she had ever seen on his face. “Those are happy tears, are they not?”
Realising for the first time that a few tears had slipped down her cheeks, she said, “Very happy.”
She was clutching his hands, possibly hurting them, and she let go, but he did not—he pulled her gently into his arms, lowered his head towards her, hesitating.
She thought it was likely that he paused to give her time to protest, but she had no intention of doing so.
She briefly lifted herself on her toes and gave him a peck on the lips.
That kiss was her first, and it was thrilling.
It was everything a kiss was meant to be—the wondrous feel of her lover’s strong arms holding her, the enticing smell of shaving powder and sandalwood, the surprising softness of his lips against hers, and the shock of something she felt deep in her body—
But there was no time to catalogue the sensations, because his immediate response was everything she did not expect a kiss to be.
His lips crushed against hers, moved over hers, calling forth movements of her own lips that were nothing like the peck she thought was a kiss.
He was still kissing her, and she had no idea if it was a single kiss or multiple kisses—and then she felt something lightly tracing the seam between her lips, and she tentatively decided it must be his tongue—but as she opened her mouth a bit, the ecstasy he somehow elicited from her body finally shut down narrative thought.
All was sensation, wetness and fire somehow coexisting within a kiss. Or, perhaps, a million kisses.
When he finally pulled away, they were both breathing raggedly.
“Lizzy!” Jane’s voice intruded.
Turning to look at her sister and Mr Bingley coming around a bend in the orchard path, seeing that their eyes were wide and brows sky-high, Elizabeth said, “We are betrothed!”
Several minutes of surprised exclamations and congratulations ensued. Eventually, Mr Darcy said, “Let us go see your father.”
And Elizabeth, still stunned about the results of her moment of courage, nodded and grasped his arm.