Chapter 15
“Do tell me, how are things at home, Papa?”
“At Longbourn, all is as you know, Lizzy,” said Mr Bennet, brushing the question aside with a gesture of his hand. “More importantly, how are you? How did this hasty marriage come about? What happened?”
“I am quite well, I assure you. What happened was that it was time for me to marry, and I was fortunate enough to find a better husband than the one Mama tried to force on me.”
“Come now, Lizzy, you cannot hold a grudge after all this time, my child. You know how your mother is.”
“It has been only a little more than two months, Papa, so there has not been enough time for me to forget. And yes, I do know how she is. I hope you will find some peace at Longbourn now since I am not there to cause trouble in the family.”
“Lizzy, you are dearly missed,” Mr Bennet insisted.
“I well believe I am missed, Papa, but not quite dearly and not for the same reasons by all. Things will be better from now on, I trust, for all of us. I am quite well,” she repeated, “especially now that I have seen you and my dear Jane.”
“I did miss you, Lizzy, very much so!” Jane replied. “And I was concerned about you. I am so relieved to see Mr Darcy is a kind and amiable man!”
“Uncle introduced and recommended Mr Darcy to me, and I trust his judgment. I know he always has my best interests at heart,” Elizabeth said, glancing at her father with a smile to alleviate the sting.
“I have your best interests at heart, too, Lizzy. There is nobody I love more than you. I am sorry if you did not feel that.”
“I know you love me, Papa, and I know you have my best interests at heart, but I wish you would do more than always comply with Mama’s demands.
But such a conversation is pointless now, and it will only hurt us both.
I hope you will not report what I have said back to Mama.
By the by, I am surprised she allowed you to come to London by yourself.
” The corners of her mouth lifted, softening the impertinence.
“At first, it was planned that we would all come to London,” Jane confessed. “But Mama said it was too cold. They might come in April, when the weather is milder and the Season begins.”
Jane spoke genuinely, but Elizabeth was immediately alarmed.
“I shall always be pleased to see Mama and my sisters, but I hope they are not counting on me to sponsor and support them in town during the Season. In truth, I am not even sure I shall be in London. Mr Darcy might have plans to remove to Pemberley, and I have no intention of opposing him.”
“I trust I have the means to support my wife and daughters for a few weeks in town, Lizzy,” Mr Bennet replied sternly.
“I know you do, Papa. It was not my intention to offend you, but you surely remember that Mama demanded as much from me several times before. Not to mention all the gowns and bonnets and reticules she ordered for herself and my sisters, which ended up all being paid for by me. It has been the main reason for our frequent quarrels since I turned eighteen.”
“You are not the only heiress who supports her family, Lizzy. This is something many honourable young women do.”
“I shall be happy to support my family in everything they truly need. But since you always exceed your income due to Mama’s imprudence and always indulge her in spending more money than you have, I shall not agree to honourably waste my money too and expose all of us to ruin,” Elizabeth responded, slightly raising her voice.
She sipped some tea, cleared her throat and continued, “Papa, if you encounter financial difficulties, you may always apply to Mr Gardiner. He still manages a small portion of my fortune. I shall always help you with anything I can, but please tell Mama that my money is now rightfully in my husband’s possession, and whilst I might be able to offer my sisters small gifts from my pin money, there can be nothing more. ”
So preoccupied was she with the argument that Elizabeth failed to notice Mr Darcy and Mr Gardiner had returned and were standing in the doorway, watching them. Her cheeks burned as she wondered how much of her last statement her husband had heard.
There was an awkward silence for a moment, then Mr Gardiner broke it. “Thomas, Mr Darcy has invited the two of us to his club tomorrow. And on our way, we may stop to purchase a few gifts for Mrs Bennet and the girls.”
“That is very kind of you, Mr Darcy. It sounds like a perfect arrangement. I have not been to a gentlemen’s club in more than twenty years.”
“You have rarely stayed in London for more than two days, twice a year,” Mr Gardiner said. “There is hardly time to do anything.”
“We hope we shall have the pleasure of seeing you more often in town, Mr Bennet,” Mr Darcy added.
“Now that Lizzy is here, I might come more often than before. But I am not too fond of London. There are too many painful memories,” Mr Bennet declared.
“I am not too fond of it either,” Mr Darcy admitted. “But much of my business can only be conducted here, so necessity must overcome pleasure.”
It was late afternoon when Elizabeth and her husband said goodbye to her relatives.
They were to meet again in two days’ time, and the large party was to remain overnight.
For the first time, she would be responsible for preparing a formal dinner to entertain guests, and she felt slightly nervous about it.
Mr Bingley and his sisters would attend too, and she was certain those two women would scrutinise and criticise her every step.
When they climbed into the carriage and it began to move away from the kerb, Elizabeth exclaimed, “Oh dear, I forgot to request a blanket for you. Let us ask to stop. I shall be only a minute…”
“Do not be concerned. I shall be well. My clothes are much warmer than yours, so I shall not freeze on the short journey home. May I help you with your blanket?” he offered, and she nodded, her cheeks growing hot.
He wrapped the blanket around her carefully, then resumed his seat.
Elizabeth felt suddenly very warm, and she wondered whether it was entirely from the blanket.
“Elizabeth, I would like to ask…” he addressed her after a while.
“Yes?”
“I am sorry to intrude, but I overheard you talking to your father…is he in need of money? You gave me most of it, and I do not want your family to suffer because you helped my family. If he needs some financial help, I could—”
“Oh no, do not concern yourself. My father and I disagree about finances. My stepmother is unwise with her spending, and my father rarely — if ever — checks her. For years, she has demanded I cover frivolous expenses for her and my youngest sisters. Now, I believe she expects even more, including that I should support my sisters in town for the Season. Therefore, I insisted all my money has passed into my husband’s control and that I should not be able to pay for any extravagance. ”
“Oh…I see. Well, that is actually true and will be for probably a whole year, until I can repay you the whole sum.”
“These are details of which my entire family must remain ignorant. Including Jane and Papa. As much as I love them both, neither is capable of keeping a secret from my stepmother. No, that is not fair and not true. In fact, Papa never told her the full amount of my fortune. She is only aware of the first part, which I acquired when I turned eighteen — ten thousand pounds. I fear to imagine how she would harangue me if she knew I actually had forty thousand.”
“Is she…? Um…was she a good mother? Your father appears to be very fond of you.”
“Papa loves me, but he has always loved his library, his books, and his tranquillity more. Our family situation was a difficult one, and he chose to allow his wife to have her way and protect his comfort.”
“I have heard a few things from Mr Gardiner, but I did not enquire further. I would rather wait for you to tell me the details, if and when you wish to.”
Elizabeth watched him intently, wondering whether his discretion was a kind of unspoken agreement — he would not pry into her affairs, and she was not to pry into his.
But there was a certain gentleness in his gaze, a compassionate expression that made his face even more handsome, and a small, reassuring smile on his lips.
With a sigh she began to speak, and with every word, the burden on her chest became lighter.
“It is no secret, since the whole of Meryton knows it. My parents married for love, while my father dedicated himself to studying the law in London. My mother was a young heiress from a rather wealthy but newly landed family, as you may have known from my uncle. They disapproved of her marrying the son of a country gentleman with little money and no connections and an estate that was entailed. My mother was of age when they met, and she owned a modest house in a good neighbourhood in London in her own right, so they married regardless. A year later, she was with child, but their happiness did not last long as she also fell ill. She died less than three months after I was born. My father was desperate after he lost the woman he loved and found himself with a young child, a babe really, which he did not know how to raise while also grieving himself. Through a common acquaintance, who wanted to help him, he was recommended Mrs Walters, who was a young widow with an infant of her own — Jane. He first hired her as a wet nurse, then…Papa suffered another blow when his father died too and he came into his inheritance without being prepared or even wanting to. Papa sold the house in London, and we all moved to Longbourn, Mrs Walters coming with us. They married less than a twelvemonth later. In the years that followed, my sisters Kitty and Lydia were born, the money from the house in town was gone rather quickly, and with no son and Longbourn entailed, you can imagine the family’s situation was not easy. ”
“Yes, I can see that,” he said. “My own mother was ill for a long while. She died when my sister Georgiana was three years old.”
“At least your sister had the chance to know her, to create a bond with her. But perhaps it was even sadder for her to feel motherly love and then lose it,” Elizabeth whispered wistfully.
“And I imagine your father did not allow himself to be so easily influenced against his own children, as my father did.”
Her husband’s countenance immediately changed and turned pale.
“Actually, it was quite the opposite,” he finally replied. “My excellent father, a man universally respected, was so deeply hurt by my mother’s death that his health declined quickly, and so did his reasoning. He allowed himself to be deceived by malicious influences and…”
He paused, and Elizabeth waited in silence.
“Just as your father wasted the money from his wife’s house in town, my father lost part of the family’s wealth in risky and unwise business ventures and investments, which would have sounded suspicious to a more reasonable man.”
“Oh, I see…” she murmured, the veil slowly lifting to reveal part of the reason for his difficult situation — the reason he needed her money and had signed the marriage contract.
With both thinking about the heavy, painful revelations still undisclosed, there were no more words for a while.
The wind was blowing so strongly that it shook the carriage.
It was already dark, and the road was icy so the carriage advanced slowly.
The streets were almost empty; only a few solitary conveyances passed by.
“Fitzwilliam, I can see you are shivering. I believe you should join me here and cover yourself with the blanket too. It is large enough for both of us.”
He gazed at her, seemingly surprised. “Thank you, but there is no need. I am glad you are comfortable. That is enough.”
“Well, sir, if it is your duty to take care of the family, is it not my duty to at least take care of you? If you fell ill, who would attend to your responsibilities?”
She smiled, and he frowned a little while peering at her, as if trying to decide whether she was serious or teasing him.
She unwrapped a corner of the blanket in a gesture of invitation.
Hesitantly, he finally moved to sit beside her, and with careful gestures, he tucked the blanket around them both.
Only a moment later, Elizabeth felt exceedingly warm — the same moment she realised her innocent invitation had been a mistake.
Both being under the cover, side by side, their bodies were so close that the heat became almost unbearable, and breathing became difficult.
“May I put my arm around your shoulder?” he asked. “It would be more comfortable, and I could hold the blanket.”
“Oh…yes, of course…” she mumbled. He threaded his right arm behind her back, around her, till it rested on her right shoulder, and from there it held the blanket.
Even though she had initiated their position, and it was entirely innocent, Elizabeth’s heart pounded so hard that she was certain he could hear it, although she did not know why his nearness unnerved her so.
“Are you comfortable?” he enquired. “You were right — it is much warmer now. I shall remember to always follow your suggestions,” he teased her.
She only nodded, her mind and body alert to his nearness.
A few moments later, though, when her senses had calmed down a little and she had become accustomed to the new and unnerving sensations, she had to admit that it was indeed comfortable and warm.
So much so that she regretted it when the carriage stopped in front of their house and they had to separate.