Chapter 34
Preparations for that evening’s dinner party with her family occupied Elizabeth’s entire day, except for the breakfast the four of them enjoyed together. Afterwards, Georgiana retired to her room, while Elizabeth summoned the household to the dining room to settle the final details.
Darcy was a little concerned by Georgiana’s behaviour, that it might be considered rude and inconsiderate. However, Elizabeth had insisted the girl had been deeply affected by all the turmoil she had suffered and should be allowed to act as she pleased.
“I shall not expose Georgiana to more torment simply to satisfy my stepmother’s ambition to meet her or to merely follow the rules of decorum,” Elizabeth had told him. “Besides, I hope there will be further opportunities in the future for them to meet.”
He had agreed and took the opportunity to kiss her hand again. In her statement, the way he understood it, there was more than affection for his sister. It was the subtle promise — insurance — that in the future they would be very much united as a family.
Darcy offered his assistance, which was politely refused, much to his relief. With his wife, Miss Bennet, the housekeeper, and several maids and footmen in continuous agitation, he preferred the solitude of his library.
He had always loathed the bustle of parties, small or large.
In his own house, the chaos seemed to be doubled — first the preparations then the evening itself.
However, this time, it felt different. Elizabeth’s consultations and decisions within the household gave him a strange sense of comfort, amusement, and warmth.
Together, it felt as if they were a real family, indeed.
And he still felt — quite vividly — the trace of his wife’s innocent kisses on his cheeks.
To any other married man, those kisses would probably mean very little, if anything.
To him, it was the most stirring sensation he had ever felt, one that filled his mind and his heart with expectations and dreams of what might be if…
when she finally became his wife in every way.
“Fitzwilliam?”
“Yes?” he answered, startled and embarrassed by his own thoughts. Could she read what was in his mind? Were his ears now bright red? Possibly. Was he making a fool of himself in front of his wife? Probably.
“Am I bothering you? Interrupting something?”
“Not at all, Elizabeth. Please come in. How may I assist?”
“I would like to talk to you about the seating arrangements at the table. Do you have any preference?”
“Not really. I am well acquainted with most of the guests. The only strangers to me are your stepmother and your younger sisters. You may place them wherever you feel appropriate. As we are all family, there is no need for formal arrangements or considerations of rank. Will Bingley bring his sisters?”
“He will not. I offered to extend the invitation to them, but he declined.”
“Bingley is a wise man. He wished to spare us from additional annoyance.”
“He is a brave man, too, since he has already met my stepmother and still wishes to attend this dinner. I wonder what they talked about. She probably asked about his fortune and connections as soon as they were introduced.”
“I know this upsets and bothers you exceedingly, but most mothers I know — even those from wealthy families in the highest circles — are looking for rich or at least well-connected men to marry their daughters. Questions about income and consequence are often among the first to be asked, though perhaps with more discretion than your stepmother employs.”
“You are probably correct. I might be too sensitive on this matter. Fitzwilliam, may I ask you…have you noticed that Mr Bingley is quite attentive to Jane?”
“Of course I have. Everybody who has seen them only for a moment has noticed that.”
“Do you think he has serious designs on her?”
He looked at her attentively, searching for the right answer. She stood in silence, waiting.
“Bingley is a good man. An excellent man. I am proud to call him a friend. He is loyal, honourable, and honest. But he is very young, and his heart is…easily touched. I have seen him in love many times before, and those feelings vanished as quickly as they appeared.”
Her face turned pale, and her voice rose in anger.
“He is a rake? Then why did you allow him to be alone with Jane so many times? Why did you not warn me, so I could warn Jane? She has become genuinely fond of him. I shall not allow him to break her heart!”
“Elizabeth, please! Hear me out, my love. Bingley is certainly not a rake! I said I had seen him fall in love, not that he acted according to those feelings. He is not a man to trifle with honourable young women. He — his name — has never been the subject of any scandal. I have never heard any complaints about him. It is just that…”
“Just what?”
He paused, overwhelmed by a sense of panic. Had he just called her ‘my love’? Had he lost his mind? He looked at her intently for a response.
To his relief, she seemed too concerned about her sister to even notice his untimely indiscretion.
“Just what, Fitzwilliam? Please tell me the truth. My sister’s happiness is not a game to amuse young men with fickle hearts.”
“The truth is that Bingley is an excellent man, as I said, with a good situation in life. Perhaps he should be advised to show more prudence in expressing his admiration so openly until he is absolutely certain of his feelings. I have no concerns that he might take advantage of your sister’s affection.
Not the slightest doubt of his honourable intentions.
But neither of them should hurry into a marriage with no solid ground of affection and respect. ”
“As we did…” she whispered.
“As we did… But I pray you agree that, despite the lack of affection at the beginning of our marriage, there was a solid ground of respect on which other feelings could only grow. And they have grown…”
“I do agree,” she whispered quietly.
“Others might not be so fortunate, and if a slight infatuation and shallow admiration are the inducements for marriage, grudges and resentment might soon drown them.”
“True…you seem to know quite a considerable amount about such marriages.”
“Not really. My parents and my uncle and aunt married based on true affection and mutual consideration. So did the Gardiners. Theirs is an example to emulate. But I hear of such cases, at my club, among acquaintances… Some speak about… I have met a few, where each spouse is in a desperate search for comfort outside the marriage. I hope it will not happen to either your sister or my friend.”
He spoke with some uneasiness, while she blushed at the delicate subject.
“Jane is not even my half-sister, but we love each other dearly, and we have supported each other our entire lives. I want her to be happy with a man worthy of her kind heart. I hope Mr Bingley knows Jane has almost no money. I hope he does not expect her to bring him a fortune! At least he cannot object to her connections. What better recommendation for her than being the sister of Mr Darcy?” she teased.
“I sincerely believe her lack of fortune is no concern for Bingley. He has enough wealth to not consider that an impediment. I may mention it to him, if you wish, but I doubt it would matter.”
“I wonder what sort of marriage my father and stepmother have,” Elizabeth continued thoughtfully.
“When Papa met her, he was still a young man, a widower with an infant, grieving the loss of his beloved wife. She had Jane, who is a few months older than me. At first, she was some sort of nursemaid or wet nurse — or both, or neither. Then she claimed more and more rights in the house until she convinced Papa to marry her.”
She looked at him with a sad smile as she concluded, “Hill, Longbourn’s housekeeper, told me all this. She also told me stories about my mother and how much my father loved her.”
“It must have been so sad for you,” he said in a low voice, pained by her obvious suffering, wanting nothing more than to hold her tightly against his heart and promise her nothing would ever hurt her again.
“Hill always protected me when my stepmother was too severe in her discipline. Do not think she would hit me — never — but she was so unkind, sometimes cruel in other ways. She used to observe what I liked most and took that little enjoyment away from me whenever she pleased. Her behaviour was different in Papa’s presence, and as I grew up, I noticed more.
She could be kind and would compliment me alongside Jane, only to turn cold and indifferent or dismissive when we were alone.
She must have found something in Papa’s papers without understanding everything about my inheritance.
She would throw me calculating glances as if estimating my value…
I have memories of that from when I was only very young.
As Kitty and Lydia grew, things only worsened. ”
She had fallen into a chair, and he moved to sit beside her, taking her hands in silent comfort; it was the least he could do. It was not enough, but could he refrain from touching her while she opened her heart to him?
“The money Papa had, in the estate coffers and later the yearly income from Longbourn, vanished due to her imprudent expenses. She asked for more and more and was repeatedly denied, which increased her resentment for me, as if it was my fault, not hers. The calculating glances gave way to sly remarks that she tried less and less to hide. Until one day, during an argument, Papa told her about the conditions under which my fortune was settled, which, of course, had a terrible effect. My stepmother’s behaviour deteriorated rapidly, and she accused me of being heartless and selfish for not using money I did not need — because who would want to marry me? — for the benefit of the family.”
“But…you could not…were you even allowed to do that, at that age?”