21. Chapter 21 My Brain Forgets I Know How to Speak
Chapter 21: My Brain Forgets I Know How to Speak
J ENNY
The following morning, Jenny dressed with care. As she studied her reflection, she wondered if she looked different. She felt different. Last night, she had expected to toss and turn, but her conversation with Gloria eased her mind enough that she fell into a dreamless sleep and woke up refreshed.
The change was due to Wade and how he made her feel. Not just the orgasms—but she would like more of those soon, please and thank you—but the way he made her feel about herself. His words and Gloria’s insights shifted her whole world view. Now she felt sexy and more confident.
She thought she was comfortable with her body before, but it was simply a mask to hide the insecurities heaped on her by people who should have treated her better. Jenny was attracted to everyone she dated, but they each dated her despite their lack of sexual interest in her.
After years of being told by her own boyfriends that she was too big to be sexy, she internalized it. But it was more than just their words. Some of her earliest memories were of her dad telling her it was a good thing she was a hard worker since she would never be able to rely on her looks or her brains.
She had long since stopped believing him about her intellect, but she let him warp her perception of her appearance. It took years to accept that she was more than “a pretty face and a nice personality,” as her first college boyfriend described her to someone else. Passably pretty was the most she ever let herself believe.
Not anymore. A sex goddess had been unleashed the night before.
“Eek!”
Her phone dinged and startled her out of her reverie.
“Do women have wet dreams, or is that just for men?” Gloria asked via text.
She snorted but ignored that comment in favor of asking a question of her own.
“Is it anti-feminist to think I’m sexy now that someone else has said it?” she asked instead.
Her phone vibrated with an incoming call, and she answered.
“Don’t know, don’t care,” Gloria said. “I’m about to head to work, so you’re on speaker phone. If men said you weren’t sexy, it makes sense it would take another man to help you see that you are. It’s all well and good for women to say it, but you’re not into women, so it’s not the same.”
“That’s true,” Jenny said after a thoughtful pause. “All the positive self-talk in the world didn’t do nearly as much as the words of a guy I’m interested in.”
“It’s what I’ve been saying: geeky guys are where it’s at. Mostly. If you date anyone else after Wade, I’m vetting them because your taste in men sucks. You date anyone who asks you out, and if they aren’t overtly mean, you stick around. That’s a terrible strategy for dating. Hang on a minute.”
Jenny was struck dumb by Gloria’s words. Surely that wasn’t true. Was it? As she reviewed her dating history, though, it was more accurate than she wanted to admit. In the background, Gloria’s car started.
“I’m back. Where were we?”
“I’ve thought about it, and you’re right,” Jenny said in a serious voice. “You’re in charge of my love life going forward. I’m clearly not capable of making good decisions.”
“Well, in that case, I’d like to remind you about the gifts I got you. They’d be perfect for today.”
“Gloria,” Jenny gasped.
“Probably not the name you want to call out in a heated moment, but who am I to say? I’m not into threesomes with friends, though, so keep that in mind.”
Jenny choked on an embarrassed laugh as Gloria spoke again.
“But seriously, it’d be perfect, especially if he isn’t ready to go all the way. If nothing else, it’d make for a memorable Valentine’s Day,” she cajoled.
“Valentine’s Day? Oh, no. I forgot. Is that today?”
“Tomorrow. I hope you brought your sluttiest underwear and have plans to blow a geeky mind. I’m certainly going to.”
“What? Did you set up another date?”
“I wouldn’t call it a date so much as a booty-call, but that’s all I need,” Gloria said in a no-nonsense voice Jenny didn’t believe for a second.
“Did you ever hear back from—“
“Moving on,” Gloria interrupted. “If you don’t have slutty undies, you should at least break out the new toy I got you. It’ll make this Valentine’s Day special. And then, if you guys get married, I’ll be able to give the most amazing Best Woman speech ever. It’ll go viral.”
“What? Married? No, it’s too soon to be talking about crazy things like that.”
“I’m just yanking your chain but also taking your pulse today. I’m glad that having a few orgasms didn’t make you lose your mind entirely. A good sexual encounter should make you stand tall and walk with a bounce in your step. It shouldn’t lead to hearing wedding bells and practicing your new signature.”
Gloria’s voice was bitter. Before Jenny could ask, Gloria spoke again.
“Have you heard anything more from Chad the Cad. No, wait, we settled on Chard, didn’t we? Yes, that was it. Has Chard contacted you lately?”
“Now that you mention, no. He texted me the other morning, and he demanded to know where I was. He was upset because he’d gone to my apartment, and I wasn’t there. But I didn’t answer, and he hasn’t messaged me since then even though he said it was important.”
“Wait, you mean to say that he drove all the way to your apartment, and then he didn’t bother to call you? He texted and then just left it at that?”
“He doesn’t like talking on the phone,” Jenny protested out of habit.
“Stop making excuses for him. You deserve better than that. And on that note, as the person in charge of your love life now, I’m giving you an assignment.”
“Oh, no. Should I be afraid?” Jenny asked in jest.
“Yup. Because I expect you to seduce your geeky heartthrob. Uh, uh, uh. Don’t argue. You put me in charge. Will this be your first time taking the lead?”
“Um, do you mean initiating… things, or do you mean something else?”
Gloria snorted.
“Honey, if you can’t say the word sex to me, I don’t think you’re ready to be a Domme, so no worries there. But initiating sexual activity was what I meant. Is that something you have experience with?”
“I’ve worn pretty lingerie before to signal interest, but it didn’t work. And I’ve tried verbalizing arousal in the past, and it was also not well received.”
“Wow, you picked some duds, you poor thing. I don’t think you’d have the same reaction from Wade, but you don’t have to be that elaborate.”
“I don’t?”
“No. There are so many subtler ways that still aren’t subtle. You could sit on his lap, put your tongue down his throat, move his hand to your boobs or ass. Or if that’s all too much, you could just take his hand and walk him to your hotel room and shut the door behind the two of you. He’s a smart guy; he’ll figure it out.”
“Really?”
Gloria paused as she turned off the engine of her car. Her next words mirrored what Jenny asked herself earlier.
“What better time to practice your inner sex goddess than when you’re out of town with your crush on Valentine’s Day?”
***
JENNY
Jenny exhaled, squared her shoulders, and checked her reflection one more time. She could do this. Bravery might not be her strong suit, but Wade had already done the hardest part when he opened the door to a real relationship between them. All she had to do was walk through that door.
Literally. Jenny could hear him moving around in the shared area of their suite. She wondered if he thought the same thing when he saw the couch. Did he revisit their exciting night, or had he decided she wasn’t worth all the effort?
Her stomach cramped, but she ignored it. She could do this; she would do this.
Jenny closed her eyes and remembered the look on Wade’s face when he came in her mouth. She hoped she’d never forget it, and she wanted to see it again soon. If that was her only opportunity to be naked with Wade, though, she’d remember his look of surprised bliss. She made that happen.
That memory bolstered her confidence now, and she opened the door.
Wade looked up from the coffee pods he was manhandling and beamed at her.
“Hi,” he said. “I hoped I’d catch you before I left. Did I hear you talking?”
Jenny flushed again at the reminder that he heard her when she played with Gloria’s naughty surprise, but maybe that would work to her advantage. She could say hello, ask about his plans for the day, and segue their conversation to an invitation to show off her new adult toy with a personal, hands-on demonstration.
Or maybe not. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
Wade observed her carefully, and his shoulders fell when she remained silent. No! She couldn’t let him think she’d changed her mind or felt uncomfortable after last night. Yes, she was nervous, but she was even more excited about spending time with him after how gentle he was with her.
Try as she might, though, words continued to fail her. It was as if she had lost the ability to form words. Wade smiled at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you later. Are we still on for the off-site event tonight? I know you were excited about the escape room before, but I wasn’t sure if you were still interested in going with me after... everything”
Jenny grew more frantic as something in her brain prevented her from speaking, and he grew silent as she stared at him in a panic. Wade sent her a half-hearted smile and bent down to pick up his laptop bag. She couldn’t let him leave, but she couldn’t say anything to make him stay.
At the last moment, she remembered Gloria’s words about alternative ways of getting his attention. They didn’t have the time to go into the details, but she could let him know where she stood.
Jenny rushed over and put her hand on his face. Startled, he looked at her. When her lips pressed against his, he froze. He wrapped his hand around her waist and pulled her closer. She loved that he did that. Their tongues tangled in a fiery kiss that caused her to rethink everything she knew about kisses.
Jenny moaned into his mouth, and it seemingly unlocked her mental block. When Wade pulled away to nip at her mouth with little smooches, she chased his mouth for more of his stupefying kisses. A girl could get addicted to those.
She didn’t know how long they stood there kissing, but eventually Wade calmed her down with sweet little pecks. The gentle kisses made her feel desired but cooled her ardor enough that she could stand without clinging to him.
“Wow. Hi. Good morning,” he said with a glorious smile.
This one reached his eyes and lit up his entire face. His mouth was swollen and damp from their kisses, and she wondered if hers was, too. She licked her own lips, and his eyes dropped to her mouth.
“Hi.” She owed him an explanation. “Sorry about that whole freeze thing. Sometimes I get tongue-tied, and it’s like my brain forgets I know how to speak. So many thoughts jumble around in my head, but my mouth won’t let them escape.”
“That must be frustrating for you.”
Jenny wanted to weep at how gracious he was being. Instead, she threaded her fingers with his hand and squeezed.
“It is, yes. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen very much anymore. But I guess I got too nervous and forgot the whole English language.”
He frowned. “Nervous?”
“Well, yeah. Of course. We, uh, made out last night, and now we’re seeing each other again. Naturally, I’m nervous. Are you saying you’re not?”
He chuckled.
“Super nervous. That’s why I rearranged the coffee station seventy-three times in the last five minutes. But I don’t want you to be nervous.”
“I’m not now. Thank you.”
“Oh, the thanks are all yours, but I’m happy to claim them again when we have more time. But now, we need to head downstairs if we want to have enough time to grab some food before our first sessions of the day.”
“You’re right.”
Now that things were calm between the two of them, her excitement about her professional development opportunity bloomed.
“I’m looking forward to the accounting conference, though I’m sorry we won’t be in sessions together again today. And then, um, I’m doing that workshop afterwards, so I think I probably won’t be able to meet up with you until sixish.”
She said the last bit with an apology in her tone. Chad would have been annoyed if his program ended before hers. He would have demanded she skip the workshop so he wouldn’t have to entertain himself for an hour or two. Wade frowned, and her shoulders tensed in preparation to defend herself.
“I forgot about your workshop. They don’t give you guys much time between the last session and the workshop. Do you have snacks to keep you going until dinner? In the office, I can work all day at my desk without a break, but I’m always starving during these sessions. Lunch is too early, and the afternoon drags on forever without a pick-me-up. I don’t know about you, but when I’m hangry, I can’t pay attention for shit.”
Jenny stared at him agog as he grabbed a couple of bottles of water, the diet soda she liked, a bag of nuts, a banana, and some wrapped cereal bars.
“Will this work?” he asked as he stood in front of her with his bounty.
Flabbergasted, Jenny couldn’t control her smile as Wade took control when she once again stared at him without a word. He found a reusable bag the picked up from one of the swag tables the day before and added all the snacks and drinks.
“Will this work for you?” he repeated when he was done.
“Yes. It’s too much, but it’s wonderful. You’re amazing. Thank you so much. I’m sorry I didn’t know what to say and just stood there like a lump.”
He gave her a confused look as he moved her things to the credenza by the suite’s front door.
“It’s no big deal. I don’t want your big day ruined because they didn’t give you guys a real break before the workshop starts.”
“It was a big deal to me,” she said softly.
Wade stopped in his tracks and moved to stand in front of her.
“Jenny.” He stared at her, a serious expression on his face. “Let me take care of you. Not because you’re incapable, but because you deserve it. You’re a nurturer. I see you taking care of other people and doing things for them all the time. But that doesn’t mean no one can… care for you.”
He reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, and her knees wobbled.
“I want to be one of the people you can rely on for small things and the big stuff. I know you’re not ready for more, but you matter to me. Let me show you.”
Jenny’s heart lodged in her throat. No man had ever tried to take care of her. They always expected her to be the caretaker. Even with her friend groups, she was the mom-type who took care of everybody else, made plans, and organized everything.
“I’d like that,” she said, her voice tremulous.
Wade stared at the tears she blinked back but made no comment.
“Then let’s eat breakfast and get this show on the road. We’ve both got a big day ahead of us. Oh, and what about the off-site event? Do you still want to go?”
“Do you?”
“I want to spend time with you, so if you’re still interested in the escape room, then I’m excited. If you’d rather do something else, I want to be where you are. The real world will be here soon enough, so I want to steal every minute with you I can while we’re in this alternate reality.”
Jenny giggled at his words.
“I am interested in the escape room,” she said shyly, “but I also had something in mind for this evening. Something special. That involves just you and me.”
Wade looked at her in surprise before a smile broke over his face.
“Something special that’s just you and me?” he asked.
Jenny pressed her body against him. She enjoyed the flare of his eyes, which gave her the confidence she needed to take this step.
“I thought we might do some more exploring tonight,” she said in a flirtatious tone. “Maybe we could play a little. I’ve even got a few toys we could use.”
Her voice shook as she spoke, but she didn’t drop eye contact, so she was proud of herself despite the quaver in her voice. She let out a squeal when Wade clutched her hips again and ground his erection into her belly.
“You naughty minx,” he said, his voice deeper. “I’m going to be useless today because all I’m going to think about is what you might have in your bag of tricks. “
Jenny blushed, but he wasn’t done.
“I know we’ve alluded to it, and maybe I shouldn’t bring it up now, but I heard you before. When you were in your room with something buzzing. And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.”
She flushed scarlet.
“I thought the walls in this place would be thick enough that you wouldn’t be able to hear,” she mumbled.
“Don’t be embarrassed, baby. That was amazing. I hope you’ll show me what you did, so I can do it for you next time. But right now, I’m going to need a few minutes to calm down, so you should probably go on to breakfast without me.”
Jenny’s face fell.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t act like this. It was a dumb idea. I shouldn’t have done that when we didn’t have time—“
“Jenny, no. Please don’t apologize. That is the sexiest thing you could possibly have done right then. But there’s no way to hide this”—he gestured at the erection straining the zipper of his pants—“so I need a few minutes to take care of things.”
He smiled at her to soften the blow of his words.
“But if you head to the restaurant and grab us a table,” he continued, “I’ll meet you there as soon as I can. I promise I’ll catch up soon, but I need to deal with this little problem first.”
“If memory serves, it’s not little,” she teased, the pink still in her cheeks.
“I have every intention of refreshing your memory later tonight, so I hope you have all the fun and freedom you want at the escape room. Once we’re back here, there will be no escaping my plans for you.”
Jenny giggled again. She liked their flirtatious banter. That was new, but she hoped it would continue even once they sealed the deal. For now, she would do her best not to borrow trouble and instead look forward to more playful sexy time.
“I could probably help you make that thing go down,” she offered.
“Be gone with you, wicked temptress. I’ll see you in a few minutes, but don’t think I won’t claim my revenge tonight. You’ll be at my mercy, and I already have some ideas I think we’ll both enjoy.”