8. Theodore
Chapter Eight
THEODORE
“I’ve been invited to do one more small little production after this.”
We stayed at the cabin since Helena appeared. She called it a second honeymoon and the moment I started to relax and allow myself to feel the love I wanted to feel for her, she dropped in that little tidbit.
I take off my clothes and put them in a bag for disposal, along with the shoes, and step into the shower as I replay how Helena completely shattered our love bubble.
“ What do you mean, another production?” I asked as I climbed out of bed.
We’d just finished making love where she insisted that I come in her mouth. It quickly became apparent why she switched.
She pushed her hair out of her face and gave me the smile she uses when she wants something.
“I’m just asking for six more months.”
“Helena,” I sighed and squeezed the bridge of my nose. “You just told me you were retiring after this. You’ll still have the fame and endorsements. You have years on those contracts. You’re still a star, whether you're dancing or not!”
“Did I ask you to turn in the keys to your club?” She pulled the cover over her breasts since they weren't getting her her way and stared out of the window.
Everything broke in me at that moment. The hamster wheel I was on shattered. I was not going in this circle anymore. She did the same thing all the time. Dangled the future I wanted in my face, just to pull the career card days later.
“You're right.” I told her, although the pressure in my head made my ears ring. “I’ll never ask you again. Take on all the productions you want.”
She jumped up, showing the first signs of real excitement I’ve seen in months. “Really? You mean it, Theo?”
She spun in the bed and babbled about all the things she wanted to do, not noticing that I was preparing to leave. I slipped on my shirt and stepped into my shoes. My hand went to my chest, as if holding that spot would make any of this hurt less. That is what heartbreak felt like.
“From the bottom of my heart, I mean it when I say you’re free to chase every production you can handle.” She claps with a giggle because she still doesn’t get it. “Just make sure the name that’s flashing in the lights reads Helena Clark.”
Her expression morphed in panic, but I was numb to it and beyond caring. Her feelings were the only thing I’d cared about in the year we dated and the six we’ve been married.
“What? Are you serious?”
“I’ll tell my lawyer to start the divorce proceedings.”
“Don’t do this, Theo! I’m only asking for six months.”
I shook my head. “You’re asking for a six-month extension on the six years I’ve already given you. I asked you every step of the way if you wanted a family and you lied to me every time. The only family you want are the legion of adoring fans. That’s fine. I just wish you didn’t waste my time.”
She jumped up and followed me towards the door, not caring that she wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing. Not that she needed to care, as her body was a masterpiece.
“You’re essentially saying six years of marriage was a waste of time!”
“Damn right, Helena. When both parties aren’t honest about what they want, it is, in fact, a waste of fucking time. You wanted a cheerleader, not a husband. They have that saying about releasing something you love. You know it. Don’t worry about me holding you back.”
“You release it to see if it loves you enough to come back, Theo.”
I shook my head. “Oh, yeah? That’s not what’s going on here. This is a regular release. I’m not looking for a return. I still love you, but I’m done.” I moved her back inside and closed the screen door. “Don’t follow me or call me. Give me the space I deserve.”
For two days, I stayed at our house, mad that she kept making me change locations. I should not be trying to get away from my wife. I’m supposed to crave her nearness and feel the urge to find her. It never came. Once I got past the anger, part of me started to miss River. Unable to fight at least speaking to her in passing, I showed up in time to see her get attacked.
Even now, in the hot shower, the idea that she would have been gone had I shown up five minutes later makes me queasy. The way he slammed her head against the wall infuriated me to the point where I had to call Andrea to do what he does best. I’d knocked out the other guys, but Von picked the wrong fucking day to attack River. My anger with Helena found an outlet when it merged with the fear I felt for River’s wellbeing. I took too much pleasure in hurting Von. He will be laid up with several broken bones and the only reason I didn’t kill him was because Donnovan called, reminding me that River needed my attention.
If Surly didn’t get this message, he’s a bigger idiot than I thought. I’ve zoned out for long enough, so I rush through the rest of the shower, scrubbing in remaining blood off of me, then I dry off and quickly dress. Making sure River is okay is my top priority. I have a few missed calls from Helena, and I go into my security app and change the code for the elevator. Helena had her own and so did I, but now hers is deactivated. The last thing River needs is for Helena to have one of her episodes.
River is in her night shirt, pacing as if she’s trying to decide to run or stay put. I must have been in the shower longer than I thought. The relief in her big eyes tugs at my heart and her rushing into my arms for a hug doesn’t help. I hold her tightly, assuring her that she’s okay. Von is too broken up to hurt her again, but I keep that to myself. I just allow the heat and solidness of my body to assure her as I rub her back.
“Thank you, Theodore. I don’t think I have had a chance to say that yet.”
Her voice is so small that I hate Mario even more. “You don’t need to thank me. I’m just so damn relieved that I decided to visit when I did.”
“Visit?” Her eyes are questioning and hopeful.
“Yes, visit. I know you spend a lot of time alone, so I was coming to see you.”
Her smile is so sweet that I find myself wondering if her lips are equally as sweet. I must have stared too hard because her plush lips flatten out as her smile disappears. I study them a second longer, noting how cute her nose is before our eyes connect. They’re soft yet serious as they search for something in my gaze. We’re too close and are playing a dangerous game. I may be done in my head, but I’m still very married, and she’s living the worst two weeks of her life.
My mind goes back to the moment before our showers. Even in her devastation, she still wanted to check on me. Her concern for me in a moment that was all about her got to me in a way I didn’t expect. The ability for such a simple act to touch me so much is a blaring sign of something that was missing before. It makes me sad enough to find the strength to put distance between us.
“I forgot the first aid kit. I’ll be right back.” I look over my shoulder to find her in the same spot. Her toenail polish sparkles in the light as she rocks on her toes like she’s trying to figure out what to do. “Sit in that chair. I’ll check you there.”
She does as I say and watches as I approach. I go out of my way to ignore the cleavage her sleep shirt gives. It’s a peach color and has thin straps at the shoulders like it’s a long tank top. The ruching at her breasts brings more attention to them, and I find myself wondering how they taste.
“I’m going to check you for knots. I push my fingers in her coily hair, careful not to snag a curl. My mind is in the wrong place because I can’t help but realize that we’re in the perfect position for her to blow me. I clear my throat. “Your scalp seems fine.”
“Puffy hair for the win,” she jokes almost breathlessly.
Getting my mind off having my dick sucked, I drop to my knees in front of her. I promptly move my hands when we realize I’m gripping her knees. Tilting her head down, I examine her brow. There are a few light bruises near her jaw, but nothing that needs immediate attention. I use a small band aid, peroxide, and antibacterial cream to clean and cover the small scrape near her temple.
“There. Still beautiful.”
She blushes and looks away. This time, she’s the one who clears her throat. “And your hands, how are they?”
I ignore how it feels to have her hold my hand. “It’s fine. Thank you for caring.”
“How could I not? You saved me, but I was worried about you when you weren’t right behind me.”
The sincerity of her concern is clear in her gaze as she waits for an answer I don’t have. It gives me another odd feeling I try to shake.
“You’re sweet. I hate that you’re in this mess.”
She sighs again, trying to put on a brave face. “That’s what happens when you trust the first person who befriends you in a new city. The crazy part is I thought he loved me. My job is the only good thing that came out of this.”
I’m flattered that she thinks so, but it has to be something more. I know bartending isn’t her dream, but that’s what she is for now.
“A good steppingstone,” I prompt.
She nods. “The best. Not to mention, you’ve been there for me more than someone who was supposed to be my boyfriend.”
“There are con artists in every city,” I point out.
“I know, but I’m twenty-nine and this is the most trouble I’ve been in in my adult life. Maybe it’s a sign.” I frown at her words. The twelve-year age difference isn’t why I don’t like what she’s saying. I don't want her to go, but I can’t make her stay. “Labrama might be bad luck for me,” she continues. “It might be time to move. I haven’t looked it up, but the name must mean something like bad luck or beware.”
"Labrama is actually Italian and should be la brama . I guess you could interpret as beware but,” I pause, my hand cupping her wrist. My thumb caresses the sensitive skin right where I'd feel her pulse, “it really means craving .” My other hand drops to her bare knee.
“Mr. Kelly…” She squeaks my name just above a whisper.
“ Desire .” I continue by giving her another word in the definition.
River shifts her weight, teasing me with her soft, clean scent. Her legs involuntarily open farther, making more room for me from where I’m kneeling in front of her.
“Theodore," she tries again with a little more warning in her tone.
" Longing ."
Our faces are closer now. We could kiss if we wanted to, but we're just existing in each other's space. Her breathing shallows as her lips part ever so slightly.
I want her, I admit to myself. River must see it in my gaze because she looks stuck between two major thoughts.
River leans in so subtly that I would have missed it if I weren't paying attention, but I am, as she has all of my attention. Just like with how her nipples press against the thin material of her shirt, I know I have her attention as well.
Releasing her wrist, I cup her face with my thumb caressing her cheek. She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Our eyes are locked when I say the last word.
" Lust ."
Our foreheads touch. We're exercising the last modicum of control, hoping the other finds the strength to pull away. The pull is too strong to resist.
"You're married," she whispers weakly.
I can feel the warmth of her lips under mine, and I know nothing short of the building exploding will stop me from kissing her.
"I know."
Energy bursts between us once our lips touch, propelling us past any reservations we had for crossing a line that should be firm. One kiss starts my addiction. I’m hooked on the taste of River. The sound of the breathy moan she releases when I deepen the kiss goes straight to my dick. Quickly, I learn about the warnings of tasting forbidden fruit. This has the power to be all I think about. Dipping both of my hands under her knees, I pull her flush against me. River wraps her legs around me, just as reluctant to let go as I am. I move my kisses to her jaw, then neck, inhaling the scent of her.
With a growl, I nip at her pulse point, then soothe the area with the tip of my tongue. The desire to mark her is too strong. My mouth moves towards her collarbone as I push down the straps of her shirt. The sight of her full breasts golden and tipped with brown is enough to make me weak. I suppress a whimper and pick her up.
The heat of her body is like its own siren’s song. My hands grip the ass that has been haunting my dreams. I don’t fight the urge to knead it as I flick the tip of my tongue over one of her nipples. River rolls her hips, and we both shudder from the heat of her pussy sliding along my erection. I don’t have the patience to move us, and while I know there’ll be repercussions of my impatience, I place her on the table.
Her hands are under my shirt and she’s lifting it over my head before I can think. I don’t want to think, but I need to give her this.
“Ask me to stop, River,” I nearly beg, my willpower dead. “Tell me to walk away and I will just like I did the other night.”
She drops her head on my shoulder, but her hand is still sliding up and down my naked torso. We have the same issue, it seems. Finally, she turns her head. Her nose nudges the crook of my neck as her breath comes out in a sigh.
“I can’t.”
We attack each other with kisses, both of us ridding the other of any clothing standing in our way. Finally, my dick slides along her wet slit, feeling the heat that awaits me. I know there’s no turning back. Helena could walk in right now, and she’d have to watch because stopping is no longer an option for me. I want everything River’s body offers.
Cupping the back of her head, I ensure our eye contact remains as I press into her. There will be no confusion about who we’re fucking. River and I are in this together. I clench my jaw and her long lashes flutter as I stretch her.
“Fuck,” she moans when I bottom out, and I vow to kill Mario. He’s far too dumb to live.
I’d be lying if I called this making love or even sex. This is fucking in its purest form because two stressed-out people at the end of their ropes have collided, seeking a carnal release that is raw and primitive.
I don’t hold back as I slam into her. We stay lost in each other’s gazes for the first few strokes, but her plush tits that shake and tease my chest hair with every pump beg to be devoured. Pushing them together, I feast on her nipples, sucking, nipping, and licking them until she’s clawing at me and begging not to stop.
Each scratch her nails leaves behind fuels the crazy, and I don’t care if we break the entire penthouse as long as we get off. Her pussy grips me like my dick is the best thing it’s ever had. I rub my thumb across her lips, which are puffy from my kisses, and River sucks it into her mouth while her eyes dare me to do my worst.
Damn, having her is an experience that I’m not trying to end soon. I hear and feel how wet she is for me, but I want to see it. As I push her flat on the table, she automatically opens for me, giving me an unobstructed view of my cock glistening from her juices with each pump. Her pussy lips are puffy like the ones I kissed and my mouth waters. My mouth and cock want to be in the same place at the same time. I want to taste her, and I can’t stop fucking her. I do the next best thing.
She squirms and her walls tighten when I coat my fingers in her juices and spread her pussy lips to see the pink swallow me. Fuck, I want this view as my screensaver. I suck her juices off my fingers, ensuring to get them extra wet with my saliva, then return them to the nub that’s begging for my attention. River cries out and drapes her legs on my shoulders. I love how eager she is to come for me.
I tease her for a bit, then begin adjusting the pressure until she’s moaning a mix of my name and yes in an alternating fashion. Her walls tighten on me in the most delicious way as I watch her come. Instead of dropping over the edge with her, I feel a renewed desire to keep fucking her.
I watch and wait for her to join me back on earth, flashing her a smile.
“Ready to continue?” I love how her eyes grow with surprise. Pulling out, I slam back into her still tight walls, hard, to show her I’m serious.
The mix of pleasure and fear in her eyes makes me twitch inside of her. Now, I know why fucking River is something I had to experience.