14. Theodore
Chapter Fourteen
THEODORE
I’m still high off the taste and feel of River when I return to the main house hours later. I’m not just some man looking for a second act and putting all my dreams on River because she’s pregnant. I am well aware of the world around me. First, I wouldn’t be in this situation with River without first liking her as a person. Second, a house full of babies will not undo the damage Helena has done to my faith in her or my ability to trust her.
I know my behavior lately has me in the untrustworthy category as well, but this is different. The papers were being drafted before I touched River. Even now, they are ready to be served. River and I have a lot to figure out. I don’t believe in fairy tales anymore, so I’m not going to assume I’d drop Helena and marry River. While we have mutual affection for each other, I’ve learned from my current marriage that love isn’t enough if we’re not willing to work together. I’m reluctant to hand my last name over to someone else without extensive vetting.
The house is quiet, and while it’s familiar, the memories created here are cold. I knew Helena had an aloof air to her when we were dating, but I’d looked past it. Now, I know it should have been a glaring red flag. Now, I’m being the kind of man I wouldn’t want my son to be.
“You hate me, don’t you?”
I look over to find Helena sitting in a dark corner with a bottle of wine next to her. Moving closer, I see that it’s a bottle that River picked, but I’m going to allow her the pity party she seems to be throwing herself.
“I don’t hate you. I just don’t trust you.”
It’s an honest answer. After my night with River four months ago, I vowed to tell the unfiltered truth when asked.
She sniffles, and as my eyes adjust more, I find the real reason for her tears. While I don’t doubt that she cares about me in her own way, she doesn’t strike me as the type to drown her relationship issues in a bottle of wine. Her elevated foot wrapped in bandages would be the reason for this.
“What happened to your foot?”
She looks off to her right where the full wineglass sits, as if it’s going to speak for her. “I was upset with you for embarrassing me. I’m doing this process for you, and you didn’t bother to defend me.” I don’t say anything so she’ll get to the point. Her feelings from earlier have nothing to do with what I asked her about her foot. “I wasn’t focused and landed wrong. I have a sprained ankle and a metatarsal stress fracture.”
“Why didn’t you call me from the hospital?”
Helena shakes her head, and I know she’s about to sprout some bullshit. “You don’t care.”
With a sigh, I sit across from her. “I don’t care when you throw tantrums. I don’t care about your unnecessary events, and I don’t care when you make over-the-top demands.” I look at her pointedly because the next part is true. “I do care if my wife hurts herself and has to go to the hospital alone to deal with an injury that has just sidelined her.”
“Don’t act like you weren’t looking for my career to end, Theodore.” The venom in her tone pulls a sigh out of me. “You win.”
I stare at her like she’s lost her mind. Then again, part of me thinks that she has. “I win? You think this is what I wanted?” I ask while motioning towards her foot. “No. I advised you to retire while you were at the top of your career, then use your name to create a brand. I didn’t tell you to dance until you couldn’t dance anymore. I wanted a full life with a real partner, that’s all I wanted.” Helena doesn’t respond, just stares at me like I’m somehow the root of all her problems. Standing, I pull out my phone. “I’ll arrange for a private nurse to help you until you can move independently again.”
“You’re not going to take care of me?”
“No. I’ll be busy.”
She snorts and shakes her head. “Unbelievable.”
“Is it?” I tilt my head while I study her. “So you’re saying that if it were reversed, you would have dropped everything to help me?”
“Yeah.”
She drops her eyes to her lap because she knows it’s not true. Helena would hire all the people in the world instead of seeing about me herself. She’d say it wasn’t a life-threatening injury and that, surely, I wouldn’t want her to miss a performance for a hurt foot.
“You continue to lie to me, Helena.” The enormity of the colossal failure of our marriage hits me harder in some instances. This is one of them. We’ve gotten to the point where she is devastated that her career is most likely over, and I don’t have the energy to give a damn, nor the desire to take care of her. “I used to love you so much that I would have missed major events and commitments just because you thought you needed me.”
“Used to?” she repeats.
I nod. “Yeah, I don’t love you on that level anymore.”
“Because we don’t have children? It’s always about children…”
“No!” I hiss at her. “Stop twisting shit. I’m sick of it. It’s about how you chose to lie to me for years. You lied and deflected so much that you’ve killed my trust in you so completely you could’ve had an affair our entire marriage.” I hold up a finger. “Correction. You kind of were, if you think about it. You used every form of deception for the one thing you only ever truly loved. Now that it’s left you, you want me to feel sorry for you.”
“You’re really bad at the sickness and health portion of our vows.”
“Yeah? You are really bad at the rest.”
She inhales sharply like I’ve slapped her.
“You asshole. Your love is a lie. You just wanted me because of my status and are ready to leave now that I’m older.”
“Cut the bullshit, Helena. You’re about to be thirty-eight, you’re not older. Yes, I noticed you on stage, but that’s not what made me want you. You’ve never understood me if you think otherwise.”
Helena takes a sip of her wine. There is a stubbornness in her posture that ensures me that she isn’t taking what I’m saying seriously.
“Whatever. You’re a shitty husband, and it’s just more prevalent now that I am not a trophy wife. Asshole.”
For her to dismiss everything I’ve done for her over six years of marriage pisses me off so quickly I feel almost capable of snapping her neck. My fucking life revolved around her, and she doesn’t see that. My fists clench and unclench. There is an edge in my voice when I speak.
“I'm going to do you a favor and assume that it's the wine and pain meds talking.”
“Why? Because you'd introduce me to Trunk again,” she mocks me.
I move in her direction so fast that she jumps and spills some of her wine once she realizes that I’m leaning face to face.
“Again? You've never met that side of me. If you had, the mere thought of acting like you do, or talking to me the way you have, would give you anxiety.” Her lip trembles, but I’m not done. “I've hurt people for less. I left that part of me behind when I met you. I was determined to be gentle because no woman should live in fear of her man.” I push some of her hair off her forehead. “Maybe, that was my mistake with you, because at least then you would think before you speak or act. Plus, you'd definitely know when you should shut the fuck up!"
I’m seething by the time I finish talking. She breaks down and cries harder. Normally, I’d want to console her, but now I want to choke her. It’s a dangerous thought. Backing away, I go to the best place I can when I’m triggered.
“Do I need to order a cleaning? Do I get to break some ground on my new burial site?” Andrea asks when I storm into his house.
He must have a visitor, because it’s a bit early for him to only be covered by his boxer briefs.
“No. Helena lives to see another day.”
“And that’s why you’re a saint. I would have killed her a long time ago,” he admits with a shrug. “In fact, the only reason she breathes is because of you.”
“Yeah, you never liked her. Am I interrupting?”
Just as I ask the question, some half-naked woman walks over to him and pulls him into a kiss. He breaks the kiss and pushes her away with his forearm.
“Don’t ever grab me,” he chastises her. “Don’t you see me talking to my brother? That’s fucking rude. Get your shit and leave.” He glares at her as she walks away. She turns back around, her body full of attitude.
“You know what-” she starts, but he’s in her face before she can finish her thought.
He tilts his head as he stares at her in the eyes. “Please tell me what . I’d love to hear it.”
Balking like she just remembered who she was addressing, she backs out without another word.
Andrea moves his attention back to me. “Who in the hell did she think she was grabbing my face and kissing me like that?”
Andrea doesn’t trust or like a lot of women. His trust issues go back to childhood. He’s also a very perceptive judge of character. I should have paid more attention to his dislike of Helena. First, it seemed to me that he was mad I was getting married. Now, I know it was who I was marrying. His endorsement of River hasn’t escaped my notice.
“Your lover?”
His face scrunches up like he wants to gag. “I’ll shoot you if you ever use that word again. She’s a woman I fucked. I thought we had an understanding.” His bicep flexes as he pours us some drinks. “Remind me to write a manual. I can hand them out like pamphlets to these dumbasses who think one hookup equals a relationship.”
We clank glasses and drink. He eases down on his sofa and looks at me expectantly. He doesn’t need to ask me what happened because he knows I’m going to tell him. After another long sigh, I tell him everything that’s happened since we confronted River at the hotel. When I’m done, he picks up his gun and checks to see if it’s fully loaded.
“You don’t have to make any calls. I’ll be Helena’s nurse.” He stands and shrugs on a shirt. “I can go take care of her right now.”
I know he’s serious, but I laugh anyway. “Down, soldier. I’m getting rid of her the legal way. I tried to wait a bit so I wouldn’t look like an asshole who leaves his wife because she’s barren.”
Andrea snorts the same way every time I say “barren.” He either knows something or has a suspicion.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
He rubs his chin as he thinks. “Nothing yet. I have some theories.”
“Care to share?” His pale eyes lock on me in the way they do when he’s being sincere.
“You know I don’t like running my mouth without facts. I am checking into some things. We’ll discuss it in a few days. Deal?”
I acquiesce. “Deal.”
He stands. “Good. Now go snuggle up with your woman and get some rest. And just in case your brain stopped working in the last few minutes, I’m referring to River.”
“How are you so sure about her?” I finally ask him as I rise.
“One.” He holds up a finger. “I had a good feeling about her. You just know when you meet good people. Two, you have your background checks for all your employees, and I have mine. Aside from Helena, no one gets to orbit in our circle unless I approve.”
He sounds like a possessive wife, but I get it. Even if he didn’t say it to me, the person would disappear one way or another.